One of my kids begs for sushi, orders crab at every place it’s on the menu, and just asked me if we can make açaí bowls.
One of my kids can tell what brand a chicken nugget is by a sniff.
I’ve parented them both the same. Cut yourself some slack, parents of The Picky Ones.
— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) July 30, 2023
If you choose to breastfeed, those first few weeks where you’re figuring out comfortable positions and how to get your baby to latch properly can be a real rollercoaster.
I remember sobbing on day four because feeding was so painful and my boobs were like boulders (not so much in size, but more in how full they were – it felt like they were filled with concrete).
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My baby didn’t seem to be latching right either, the pinching sensations on my nipples were diabolical – so yeah, not a fun time for all involved.
Fast forward a week and – after some latching support from a midwife and health visitor – things were looking up. Well, aside from me routinely and explosively spraying my poor baby in the face with milk – we later learned I had an overactive letdown.
Finding a breastfeeding position that works for you can make such a huge difference, especially during those periods of cluster-feeding when you’re spending most of your time sat down with a baby glued to your boob.
Here are some of the most commonly used breastfeeding positions – with supporting images and illustrations from Lansinoh – to help you on your way.
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This is one of the most common positions for breastfeeding, however it might be uncomfortable for those who have had a caesarean, the NHS notes.
To do this position, sit in a comfy chair with arm rests or on a bed with cushions around you. Then, lie your baby across your lap, facing you. Their tummy should be facing yours.
Place your baby’s head on your forearm, with their nose towards your nipple. Your arms should be supporting their body. Meanwhile, place your baby’s lower arm under yours.
Check to make sure your baby’s ear, shoulder and hip are in a straight line.
Cathlin McCullough/Lansinoh
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This is touted as a good position for those with smaller babies and newborns. It’s similar to cradle hold, except your arms switch roles – so your baby’s body is basically lying across the opposite forearm to the boob you’re feeding them from.
Your forearm will basically be supporting their back and spine, with your palm supporting their shoulder blades, and your fingers under their ears.
As breast pump experts at Medela explain: “Because your baby is fully supported on your opposite arm, you have more control over his positioning, and you can use your free hand to shape your breast.”
For a demonstration of how to do cross-cradle, check out this video from a postpartum nurse on TikTok (@thepostpartumnurse).
Cathlin McCullough/Lansinoh
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This is a great position to try if you’re breastfeeding in the night, or you’ve had a caesarean or difficult delivery.
First, lay down on your side with your baby facing you, so you’re lying tummy to tummy. Your baby’s ear, shoulder and hip should be in a straight line.
It might help to put some cushions or pillows behind you for support and the NHS recommends a rolled up baby blanket popped behind your baby to help support them, if they can’t quite stay on their side yet.
Tuck the arm you’re lying on under your head or pillow and use your free arm to support and guide your baby’s head to your breast.
Need a visual guide? Check out this handy video from lactation counsellor Grace (@latchingwithgrace) on how she gets comfortable in the side-lying position.
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The laid-back position is pretty much what it says on the tin: you’re seated in a semi-reclined position – either on a sofa or bed. The position can be done by most mothers, however if you’ve had a C-section you might want to lie your baby across from you and away from your incision, the NHS suggests.
It’s also a great shout for those who have an overactive letdown (where the milk comes out forcefully) and, according to lactation counsellor Angela Das (@motherhooduntamed) it can also help them achieve a deeper latch.
To nail this position, lean back (but not flat) on your sofa or bed, propping yourself up with cushions so your back, shoulders and neck are supported.
Now, place your baby on your front so their tummy is resting on your tummy. For those who’ve had C-sections, this is the part where you would lay them to one side.
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The NHS advises parents to be seated upright enough that they can look into their baby’s eyes, and to gently support their baby, guiding them to the nipple.
Cathlin McCullough/Lansinoh
The rugby hold can feel a bit tricky to begin with, however it’s another good position for those who’ve had C-sections, as there’s no pressure on the incision area, as well as parents of twins.
To do this, you’ll need to sit in a chair with a cushion (or two) along your side. Then, position your baby (/babies) at your side, under your arm, with their hip close to your hip. Their upper body will be positioned along your forearm. The NHS suggests your baby’s nose should be level with your nipple.
Support your baby’s neck with the palm of your hand and gently guide them to your nipple.
Check out this video from midwife and lactation consultant Libby Cain (@libbyandco_nz) on how to do the rugby hold.
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This position can be good for mothers who have older babies or an overactive letdown. It can also be done with newborns however they’ll need lots of support.
According to experts at Medela, this position can also be more comfortable for babies who have reflux, ear infections, tongue-tie or low muscle tone.
In this particular position, the baby will sit on your thigh, with their legs dangling either side. Their spine and head will be upright as they feed. For a demo of this nursing position, check out this video from lactation consultant Kathryn Stagg (@kathrynstaggibclc).
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In My Story, readers share their unique, life-changing experiences. This week we hear from Richard Poulin, 40, who currently lives in Bangkok, Thailand.
My wife and I accepted new teaching jobs in Singapore. Before leaving America, we proudly showed our newborn daughter, Rylae-Ann, to family. All was right in the world, and we eagerly boarded a plane to begin our new life.
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However, when Rylae-Ann was three months old, we saw signs that all was not right.
She was missing developmental milestones. We would play games to encourage her to reach out, do exercises to practice sitting independently, and give massages to coax her to engage her core muscles. But nothing seemed to work.
One day my wife, Judy, went to look for homes while I stayed back at the hotel with our daughter. During one of the sessions, Rylae-Ann tensed her arms and legs. Her eyes briefly crossed, and her tongue made a thrusting action.
Despite it lasting a few seconds, I was concerned. I attributed it to my pushing her too hard, causing muscle cramps. I tapered my eagerness for my daughter to progress.
The fleeting actions caused enough concern that I did some Googling. I did not dare tell Judy. I didn’t want her to start worrying.
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I came across an article about a girl with a deadly ultra-rare disease. I admonished myself. I had become one of those parents who Googled symptoms and ended up with an obscure diagnosis for my daughter. I closed my laptop and tried to focus on my family’s new life in Singapore.
Richard Poulin
Over the next few months, our lives began to unravel. The tensing of muscles in our daughter’s tiny limbs became more intense and lasted longer; it was the only time we ever saw any movement from her.
We began to refer to them as ‘spells’. These spells came every three days like clockwork. She had trouble staying asleep. When she was awake, she looked sleepy and constantly cried.
Rylae-Ann’s developmental milestones remained paused at the three-month mark. She couldn’t hold up her head, she did not reach out and grasp things, and her eyes remained tiny slits. The photographer commented on her sleepy look when we got her identification card.
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We went to doctors who reassured us that babies develop at different rates. But as the spells’ intensity and duration grew, we could no longer sit idly by. We began visiting more doctors and researching.
One rainy night, the spell lasted longer and was more intense – we were filled with fear. We rushed out of the door to the car we’d booked on a ride-sharing app and headed to the nearest hospital. I willed all the lights to turn green while Judy cooed softly into Rylae-Ann’s ear. Once we arrived, the nurses did an assessment and put our daughter at the front of the triage line.
They gave our daughter diazepam for fear she would have another seizure. A doctor came and assigned an initial assessment of epilepsy. The doctors admitted Rylae-Ann, and we were separated from her for the first time.
Judy and I discussed the diagnosis when we returned home to get clothes and necessities. What the doctor was telling us didn’t seem right, mainly because we thought what the doctor saw as a seizure was something else due to its three-day cyclical nature.
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After a barrage of tests, the doctors said she had epilepsy. They prescribed her medication, and we went home. But her symptoms did not improve. The medicine left her sleeping all day and she felt lifeless when we picked her up – we stopped the drug after a few days.
We continued to visit the doctor, trying to explain why we thought it wasn’t epilepsy. Despite genetic testing, blood tests, EEGs (which record brain activity), MRI, CSF (cerebrospinal fluid) tests, and more coming back normal or inconclusive, the doctors did not change their diagnosis, so we went to other doctors. We even travelled to other countries searching for answers.
As we collected second opinions, we improved our description and came armed with digital evidence. Doctors had different opinions, including epilepsy, dystonia, cerebral palsy, and other neurotransmitter disorders. However, no definitive answer came.
Our daughter was regularly admitted to emergency care during the onslaught of medical tests. We were always in the hospital, so much so, the nurses knew our daughter by name. Most were lung-related issues such as aspiration, pneumonia, and collapsed lung. But also, a typical childhood viral infection would cause her to be extremely weak to the point that the doctors required her to be in intensive care.
Answers never came. Instead, a random Facebook post about a child with similar symptoms caught the eye of Judy’s older brother. When Judy shared the article with me, it triggered a memory of a post I saw earlier.
The name AADC stuck with me because of its similarity to a classic rock band. I remember the article discussing the extremely rare disease, affecting around 130 people worldwide since 1990.
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Richard Poulin
I explained how it was improbable. However, Judy pointed out that although it is an extremely rare genetic disorder, many of the children were from Taiwan, where her parents are from.
AADC deficiency is a rare disease that causes a mutation in the DDC gene. This gene instructs the body to produce the AADC enzyme, which is responsible for dopamine and serotonin.
Children with AADC deficiency have little or no dopamine and serotonin. Both are responsible for several critical bodily functions to sustain life and movement.
That night, alarms were going off in my head. I sat up in bed and went to work, reading research papers about the disease. The more I read, the more I knew our daughter had this. One glaring reality was that children with this disease die early in life due to the severity of the symptoms.
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One of the reports talked about how a doctor in Taiwan had completed clinical trials for an experimental, innovative treatment. There was no word if the treatment was available, but I knew we had to visit this doctor.
Richard Poulin
Judy’s younger brother still lived in Taiwan, so we asked him to make an appointment as soon as possible. The next day he told us we had an appointment booked a week later, the day after Christmas.
We packed our bags and landed in Taiwan on Christmas day. That night, Judy and I sat at the park drinking a small bottle of vodka, trying to process how we went from cloud nine, to falling from a cliff, to Hell over six months. As the bottle’s contents disappeared, I promised my wife we would never have a Christmas like this again.
On the day of our appointment, we met the doctor who was surprised to receive patients thinking their child had a rare disease – and even more surprised at our knowledge of the disease.
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After a short observation and using the information we provided, the doctor felt confident that our daughter did, in fact, have an aromatic L-amino decarboxylase (AADC) deficiency.
“The doctor felt confident that our daughter did, in fact, have an aromatic L-amino decarboxylase (AADC) deficiency.”
I asked if the treatment in the article was available. We held our breath. “No,” he replied. Tears welled. “But, there is another clinical trial recruiting. However, it is only available for Taiwanese.”
“She is Taiwanese!” we screamed. We had recently applied for her citizenship. Although Judy is Taiwanese, she never lived there. We grew up in Thailand, where Rylae-Ann was born. Rylae-Ann only had an American passport, but her Taiwanese passport would soon be ready.
She enrolled in the clinical trial for a new exploratory treatment known as gene therapy. However, she had to wait 11 months to begin treatment – another year of trying to keep her alive and healthy.
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Yet with the mystery uncovered, we had more information on how to care for her.
The 11 months also gave us time to figure out the logistics of how our daughter would participate in the study. She would have to stay in Taiwan for six months, so we decided to have Judy’s mum and nanny remain in Taiwan for that period while Judy and I took turns flying back so we could continue earning money at our new jobs in Singapore.
Richard Poulin
On 13 November, when Rylae-Ann was 18 months old, she underwent brain surgery for gene therapy. Family and friends asked us if we were worried. We weren’t. We had our backs against the wall and fought to keep our daughter alive.
While alive, she depended on us for everything. Managing work to pay the mounting health care bills was extremely difficult. There was no downtime or social life. I remember telling Judy that the lack of sleep was making me mad.
We felt blessed that our daughter would have an opportunity in life.
The surgery lasted several hours. It was Judy’s turn to be in Taiwan, so I waited for a video chat update.
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The way we explain gene therapy to other parents is it involves injecting a shell of a virus into the brain. The virus normally goes unnoticed by the body, so it is able to bypass the body’s immune system. Researchers used this situation to inject good DNA into the virus. The virus then “infects” the good DNA in the body. In our daughter’s case, it was in the area of the brain where dopamine is produced.
The surgery was a success. A few days later, to Judy’s surprise, Rylae-Ann was discharged. We began physical therapy immediately.
The results came quickly. One month later, she sat up on her own. This was a huge milestone. Since then, she has continued to make progress. Every day we supported her, but we did it in a way where we could still make memories as a family.
Just over a year after gene therapy, our daughter was swimming, walking, running, and even riding a horse. Today, she is an independent child who continues to explore the world. Not only does our daughter have a chance to live, but we also have a chance to be parents.
Richard Poulin
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Judy and Rich now use their spare time to help other families in the rare disease community and have launched a non-profit organisation called Teach RARE, where they work to raise awareness and teach caregivers how to combine educational activities with therapy goals.
To take part in HuffPost UK’s My Story series, email uklife@huffpost.com.
‘Mother’s wrist’ – or de Quervain’s tenosynovitis, as it’s more formally known – is a very painful, not to mention common, issue for new mums.
Yet unless you’ve suffered with it, you’ve probably never heard of it.
The ailment causes pain in the base of the thumb and wrist whenever you use your thumb. It can make activities like opening jars, unscrewing the lid of milk bottles, changing nappies and lifting your tiny tot utterly agonising.
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Big Bang Theory’s Kaley Cuoco gave birth to her first child, Matilda, back in March – and took to Instagram in July to share a photo of herself wearing a compression bandage on her wrist. “They call it ‘mommy wrist,’” she wrote in the caption of the Instagram Story, later adding that she had it in both hands. Ouch.
“I’ve had this for the past nine months from my baby and it’s NO joke!” said one parent, after Entertainment Tonight shared photos of Cuoco’s wrists on Instagram.
“I had it with my third child, it was awful, I couldn’t pick her up,” added another mum. “I couldn’t lift anything, I got a steroid shot directly in my wrist and it went away within hours, never had an issue with it again.”
Axelle/Bauer-Griffin via Getty Images
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According to the Health Service Executive (HSE), it could be caused by a combination of hormonal changes and increased pressure on the wrist tendons when lifting and holding a baby – which makes a lot of sense.
Women who breastfeed also have a higher chance of developing it, but it’s not clear why.
If you have ‘mother’s wrist’, you’ll certainly know about it. Symptoms include:
Experts at Bristol Chiropractic shared a handy way to know if you have the issue. Grip your thumb and gently pull it down and forwards away from you.
“If this causes pain, there is a good chance that this is the type of ‘baby wrist’ you are suffering with,” they explained.
The good news is that milder cases of ‘mother’s wrist’ tend to go away in a couple of weeks – although sometimes this is more like months.
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In the meantime, if you’re struggling, HSE recommends easing the pain with ice massages, stretches, painkillers (paracetamol) or even wearing a rigid wrist splint. These can usually be obtained from a sports shop or physiotherapist.
It can also help to relieve the pain by resting the hand – although that’s easier said than done with a baby.
If the pain doesn’t ease off, speak to your GP or book in with a physiotherapist.
Guidance from the British Society for Surgery of the Hand (BSSH) suggests a steroid injection relieves the pain in about 70% of cases. However, some thinning or colour change in the skin at the site of injection may occur.
In severe cases, some parents might require surgery, which typically sorts the problem out.
You’re reading Between Us, a place for parents to offload and share their tricky parenting dilemmas. Share your parenting dilemma here and we’ll seek advice from experts.
With the cost of living crisis, rocketing bills, and soaring rent payments, a growing number of adult children – dubbed ‘boomerang kids’ – are moving back in with their parents.
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In fact, as of 2021, there were 620,000 more adult children living with their parents compared to 10 years previous, census data found.
While lots of parents will enjoy the chance to spend more time with their grown-up children, having them move back in can also cause tension and rifts.
Such is the case for one anonymous HuffPost UK reader, who shared their parenting dilemma with us:
“Our adult son has moved home for the second time, and I desperately want him to move out. He came home after a highly toxic relationship breakdown during which time he had wiped out all of his savings. He reluctantly came home at my insistence, and said it would only be for 2-3 weeks, but never left, and never asked us if he could stay permanently.
“As such the ‘ground rules’ conversations never took place, although we’ve tried to have them several times since with no impact or improvement. Since moving home seven months ago, he has not changed his sheets, washed his towels, he’s doing nothing to improve his job prospects in order to earn a consistent living wage that would allow him to move out, he’s not doing what we suggest to save money to clear his debts quicker. He doesn’t routinely help out around the home – he’ll clean his own plate but won’t unload the dishwasher, for example. He’ll remove his clothes from the washing line but leave everything else in the rain.
“He pays us ‘rent’ weekly which is now consistent, but resents it. This is about a third of what it would cost him to live in a house-share where we live. We have tried to address all of the above issues many times, but nothing changes. I feel we have no choice but to ask him to leave, but I fear making him homeless.”
While the situation is clearly hard for the parent, therapists recommend they take a step back and consider that their son is probably struggling quite a bit at the moment, too.
“Are these current behaviours new, or are they out of character? I would want to know more about how your family have communicated in the past – do things get heated?” asks Counselling Directory member Octavia Landy.
She recommends setting a specific time for a family meeting and, in the first instance, talking with the son about what is happening for him. The parent needs to find out: how is he? Is he struggling at the moment? What would he like to happen in his life?
During this conversation, the parent can also talk to their son about how it feels for them when he is not pulling his weight, and how it’s impacting the rest of the family, she suggests.
This isn’t a finger-pointing exercise, so at the same time the parent can remind their son that they care – this could be as simple as asking him what he needs or figuring out how the family can work towards this goal together. Empathy is key.
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“It sounds like he is feeling lost and needs to make some changes, perhaps he feels overwhelmed,” adds the therapist.
When things get heated – which they can in these scenarios – it can be easy to just storm off and not really hear each other out. But every effort needs to be made, on both sides, to properly listen.
“As the parents, you will need to model consistency and keep calm,” suggests Landy.
“Bring the conversation back to the matter at hand, reiterate what you need to change, but also listen to your son. It sounds like there is something deeper happening for him, and by connecting on a new level, you can support each other and work together.”
“Boundaries and communication lie at the heart of this dilemma,” says counsellor Georgina Sturmer, addressing the parent directly.
“At the moment, it feels as if the lack of boundaries is leading to a sense of anger and resentment on your part. It sounds like it might be time for you to communicate more effectively, ‘adult to adult’, about how you want your relationship to be.”
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The Counselling Directory member also suggests a bit of self-reflection on how the relationship with the son has changed since he became an adult.
“Consider what your boundaries look like,” adds Sturmer. “How do you communicate with him about what constitutes acceptable behaviour?”
It’s also important to figure out where the partner stands on all this, because if there’s disagreement over how is best to handle the situation, it could fuel the son’s behaviour further.
As there wasn’t really a clear cut establishing of boundaries when the son moved back in, now is the time to lay down the law and sweep any uncertainty under the rug.
“Work together to establish ground rules and a timeline for these to be reviewed. It will be important to check in with him on how things are progressing,” adds Landy.
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Sturmer suggests the parent should ask themselves what they need in order to be able to feel happy and safe in their home – and the answer might be a difficult one to come to terms with.
“It might be that this means that you need to ask him to leave,” she says. “If this triggers fears about him becoming homeless, then address these fears directly.
“Perhaps you can find a way to work together on a timeframe for him to leave home. Or if you don’t feel able to ask him to leave, start setting stricter ‘ground rules’, based on what you might expect from an adult living in your home.
“This can shift the dynamic from ‘parent to child’ to ‘adult to adult’. Even though he may always be your baby, remember that he is an adult, and he deserves to have an opportunity to be independent.”
Ultimately, communicating clearly, really listening to each other, and setting firm boundaries (and timelines) will be key in making all of this work.
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Landy concludes: “Change needs to happen, and whilst that can be scary, by working together you can hopefully support your son to stand on his own again, without having to ask him to leave.”
When you become pregnant, and then give birth, there are a lot of dos and don’ts as far as taking medication is concerned.
For instance, ibuprofen isn’t advised for those who are pregnant – unless prescribed by a doctor. This, says Jana Abelovska, superintendent pharmacist at Click Pharmacy, is “due to the negative effects ibuprofen can have on a baby’s kidneys and circulatory system”.
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But after your baby has been born and is breastfeeding, what happens then? Should you still avoid it?
It’s no wonder then that ‘can I take ibuprofen while breastfeeding?’ is a commonly Googled query – alongside other popular asks like whether you can have Lemsip or Strepsils when breastfeeding.
We asked Abelovska to walk us through what pain relief medication parents can take, and should steer clear of, when breastfeeding little ones. Here’s her advice.
The good news is that for breastfeeding women, ibuprofen is “completely safe” to take – and is actually one of the recommended painkillers for women while breastfeeding, says the pharmacist.
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You can take it as a tablet or use it on your skin.
“Ultimately, only minuscule amounts of the drug pass from the breast milk into the baby’s body, and therefore pose no real risk to babies,” Abelovska explains.
Well, that’s a relief.
With cold and flu season lurking around the corner as we head towards the cooler months (sorry), people are also understandably interested in whether it’s OK to take decongestants like Lemsip when breastfeeding.
Abelovska says: “Interestingly, while decongestants – like Lemsip – are unlikely to directly affect a breastfeeding baby, they can have a negative effect on the mother’s milk supply.
“Therefore, it is recommended that breastfeeding mothers avoid all types of medical decongestants and instead use safer alternatives, such as inhaling steam.”
Experts at NetDoctor agree, saying the production of breast milk can decrease “with just one or two doses,” so Lemsip is “best avoided by mothers who are breastfeeding”.
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Throat lozenges can help ease a sore throat if you’re struggling – but it’s always best to ask your pharmacist to recommend one that is safe for breastfeeding, according to the Health Service Executive (HSE).
In the case of Strepsils specifically, Abelovska says the Honey and Lemon varieties “seemingly pose no risk to breastfeeding women.”
But she warns other Strepsil products, such as Extra Triple Action Blackcurrant Lozenges, are not recommended.
“Strepsils’ package leaflet for the triple action throat sweets recommends avoiding the product if pregnant or breastfeeding,” she explains.
If you’re confused about what’s best to take, Abelovska recommends having an open discussion with your GP who can advise further.
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There are a wealth of medications that aren’t recommended for women while breastfeeding, says the pharmacist. “This can be for various reasons such as affecting milk supply or the risk of the medication getting into the milk.”
Some of these medications include:
A video of a baby “two-stepping” is melting hearts everywhere.
In the clip, a healthcare worker can be seen stroking down each side of a newborn’s spine, with its bottom instinctively wiggling in the same direction.
But is this wizardry? Or is there a reason why babies do this?
Dr Karan Raj, a medical doctor and author of This Book May Save Your Life, took to TikTok to explain the phenomenon, which is known as the Galant reflex.
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The purpose of the reflex is to “encourage movement and develop a range of motion in the hips”, he said, which helps prepare babies for crawling and walking.
The reflex can also be tested in newborns so healthcare professionals can help rule out brain damage at birth, the doctor explained.
The doctor describes is as a “cute baby software glitch” because hypothetically, it should disappear by around nine months old.
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Reflexes happen when our bodies are stimulated in some way and our muscles respond to that stimulation.
“The presence and strength of a reflex is an important sign of nervous system development and function,” say experts at Mount Sinai.
A lot of infant reflexes – like the Galant reflex – disappear as a child gets older. If it’s still present as they age, it can be a sign of brain or nervous system damage.
Another fascinating reflex babies are born with is the rooting reflex, which happens when a baby’s mouth is stroked or touched.
According to Stanford Medicine, in response to this touch, the baby should turn their head and open their mouth to follow and root in the direction of the stroking.
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It basically helps them find the breast or bottle so they can fill up on milk.
They also have a suck reflex, whereby when the root of their mouth is touched, they’ll automatically start to suck.
And one many parents will be familiar with is the Moro reflex – otherwise known as the startle reflex. When there’s a loud noise or movement, a baby will throw back their head and extend their arms or legs out, like they’re falling.
What’s stopping new mums from breastfeeding? That’s the question photographer Ania Hrycyna set out to uncover when she gathered 15 mothers together for a candid festival-inspired photoshoot of them feeding their babies.
The UK has some of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world with eight out of 10 women stopping before they want to.
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Ahead of World Breastfeeding Week (1-7 August), the South London-based photographer and mother brought together a group of local women at a local airfield and asked them about the challenges they’d experienced in their breastfeeding journeys.
The photographer’s hope is that their stories – and gorgeous photos – will foster more empathy and understanding of the difficulties women face. And one theme that crops up time and time again is the lack of support new mothers face.
Here are some of their stories.
Ania Hrycyna
I started breastfeeding my firstborn in May 2017. He was tiny and very sleepy, really struggled to latch and I received very little support from the midwives at the hospital.
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Once at home, he lost 13% of his birth weight. The home health visiting team were fabulous and helped me increase my milk supply and get onto an exclusively breastfeeding path which we followed for two-and-a-half years (until a couple of weeks before the birth of his little brother).
I thought after breastfeeding for two-and-a-half years it would be a doddle the second time around, but I guess I underestimated that my new little bundle had to find his way, too.
I managed to settle onto breastfeeding Hugo, who again I fed for two-and-a-half years. This time until I was about 30 weeks pregnant with my third baby, Max.
I have recently gone back to work after maternity leave so just learning to live in our new chaos and finding the right balance between expressing at work and co-sleeping so that he can get all his milk feeds.
I love the bond from breastfeeding my babies.
Ania Hrycyna
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In 2020, I became a mother to our first child Lilah Ottalie. Breastfeeding was something I had set my heart on and it came so naturally to us both – born in water, she climbed up and latched on within moments, despite having a tongue tie.
She fed perfectly throughout my second pregnancy in 2022 and is still going strong today.
Our second child, Ottis Malachi, had a harder time learning to latch and feed. He was born very fast, he was tired and so was I – everything was a blur. He didn’t feed at all for the first 48 hours, he never got any of my golden colostrum. I felt very let down by the team at the hospital, I still do.
They wanted him to try formula as he couldn’t latch and he was losing energy. Lilah has a severe cow’s milk protein allergy that had her in and out of hospital for the first eight months of her life. I have been dairy-free for the last three-and-a-half years for this reason.
The hospital could only offer me cow’s milk formula for Ottis, which I had no choice but to accept. He reacted more or less straight away and I knew the symptoms so well that I declined the next feed. It was all on me.
Giving birth in lockdown meant my partner wasn’t allowed in to support me either, and it was the first time I had ever left Lilah, who was still breastfeeding and wasn’t allowed in to see us. I was heartbroken with a new baby that needed me.
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We stayed in for four days until we were discharged with a feeding plan of me exclusively pumping to supply him with what he needed. Ottis had a lot of problems – we found out he also had a tongue tie and a high palate with a shallow latch.
At six days old he finally latched on his own for the first time. He really struggled to find his way to my nipple, so it was suggested at six weeks that we replicate being born and the newborn crawl to the boob. It helped and I was so emotional.
I had been told I wouldn’t be able to feed him and it was a long road but we got there in the end. He still wouldn’t latch every time and struggled a lot, he used to get very frustrated and chompy which had me in a lot of pain and tears. He also has low muscle tone making it hard for him to hold on when feeding.
I never knew two breastfeeding journeys could be so different. I have now been tandem feeding for a further year-and-a-half.
Ania Hrycyna
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I knew I wanted to try breastfeeding, but also knew things might not work out and I didn’t want to feel too let down if I wasn’t able to. If anything I had almost convinced myself that I may not be able to because I was unable to harvest any colostrum before giving birth – despite my best efforts. I made sure to pack bottles of formula in my hospital bag.
With there being so much emphasis on ‘breast being best’ I did feel a bit guilty about being so comfortable with the idea of giving my baby formula straight away, like I had quit before starting – but now looking back I realise I had a lot of worries about breastfeeding in general with questions in my mind such as: Will I produce enough milk? Will it mean my body will never be my own again? Will my nipples be leaking milk all the time?
When I gave birth to my daughter, suddenly all of the feelings of anxiety and worry were quickly replaced with confidence as I watched her crawl up my stomach after birth, navigate her way to my boob and latch her little mouth – it was truly magical.
In this moment I fully understood and felt what my hypnobirthing teacher had meant when she said to trust your body and baby. Breastfeeding hasn’t come without the lows, though, and one of the things that surprised me was the pain – especially in those initial weeks when my daughter would cluster feed.
We’re told that breastfeeding should be a pain-free experience that will come naturally to us and our babies, which I don’t believe is true for the majority of women. I cried numerous times through the hard times in our journey, constantly thinking: why is this so tough when it’s supposed to be the most natural thing?
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I think as a society we need to be more open about the issues surrounding breastfeeding and where to go for support, so that women can prepare themselves for the common issues and not struggle silently.
Ania Hrycyna
I always knew I wanted to breastfeed my children – my trouble was in having those children. After a good few years, I finally got pregnant thanks to the miracle of science, and then Covid-19 struck.
Serafina was born in September 2020. I tried to feed her in the minutes after birth, but she wouldn’t latch. I was devastated, especially as the breastfeeding nurses kept telling me it was because I have flat nipples. Hormones and tiredness didn’t help, but I felt that not only could I not conceive naturally, I couldn’t feed her naturally either. I felt like I was already failing as a mother, less than an hour after becoming one.
The following day, I was ‘allowed’ to express, so at least she was getting the good stuff… When I got home, I persevered with breastfeeding – my husband bought every contraption under the sun to try and help with my ‘flat nipples’ and the midwife who visited on day five tried to help me with positioning.
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Serafina did start feeding, but I was in agony, kept getting blocked ducts, and had a baby or a pump attached to my boobs nearly 24/7. About six weeks after Serafina was born, I finally plucked up the courage to join a breastfeeding Zoom session. I was recommended a lactation consultant who arrived the next day and diagnosed a severe posterior tongue tie within two minutes of walking in the door and advised the stabbing, freezing pains I was feeling was vasospam.
A mere 10 seconds after the tongue tie was severed, Serafina latched onto my boob – and it felt amazing.
When we decided to try and have another baby, I was told I wouldn’t be able to start the hormone treatment until I’d stopped breastfeeding Serafina. After everything we’d been through to get to this point, how was I going to stop?! And why was I putting a potential future baby ahead of the real life baby girl I held in my arms?!
The guilt was crushing. But we eventually did it (with many tears!). Persephone was born in January this year and latched on and started feeding within minutes. It was a totally different experience. It still didn’t feel quite right, but it wasn’t painful. Tongue tie was discounted, so I just got on with it.
We were eventually referred to the tongue tie clinic because Persephone had green stools, and lo and behold, she had posterior tongue tie. To say I was annoyed is an understatement. But at six months old, she is now feeding much better. It has not been an easy journey, but I’m so proud of myself and my girls.
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Ania Hrycyna
I always knew I wanted to breastfeed, so when my eldest daughter was born in 2013 I was delighted when it came quite easily to us both. When her younger brother was born 16 months later, it was a different story.
He had a tongue tie and feeding was really painful. I didn’t know how or where to access good support and believed the people who told me nothing could be done to make his feeding more comfortable.
I fed him for a year but it was a good three months before it felt comfortable. The same thing happened with his younger sister, born 18 months later and also with a tongue tie.
When my fourth baby was born and feeding was again painful, I knew a bit more about tongue tie and what to do. We found support, had her tie divided and feeding was so much easier from then on.
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I decided to train as a breastfeeding counsellor, partly because I had always loved feeding my babies (despite the pain) and wanted to understand it more, and partly because I wanted to be able to offer others the support I had so desperately needed myself.
I spent two years completing a foundation degree and during that time my fifth and sixth babies came along, both with tongue tie. I recently gave birth to my seventh baby (again with tongue tie), who is in this photoshoot.
I find it so rewarding to be able to help people to work through difficulties and to be able to continue breastfeeding, where that is important to them. It has also been a huge help to my own breastfeeding journeys, which have not been without their difficulties, to understand how breastfeeding works and the impact that the various challenges can have.
I hear first-hand how valuable that support is for new parents and I am passionate about providing accessible support to anyone who needs it through drop-ins, free telephone helpline support and signposting to other services.
There is so much more to breastfeeding than just feeding a baby and I enjoy the constant learning that comes with working in breastfeeding support.
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When it comes to babies and toddlers, it’s safe to say there’s no rulebook as far as sleep is concerned.
While there’s no shortage of books out there telling parents how much their children should be sleeping at various stages in their development, the reality is that no two babies are the same so they’ll have very different sleep needs.
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And, when they reach toddlerhood, well… good luck to you as you spend hours each evening trying to get them down to sleep. (Sorry, I might be projecting.)
But does it actually mean something when an infant naps little and often?
Well, a new study suggests it might. Some children are more efficient at consolidating information during sleep, so they nap less frequently, the research found.
Conversely, University of East Anglia researchers found that it’s usually the case that frequent cat-nappers tend to have fewer words and poorer cognitive skills than their peers.
The takeaway? The research team said these children should be allowed to nap as frequently and for as long as they need.
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For the study, researchers analysed 463 infants aged between eight months and three years during lockdown in 2020.
Parents were surveyed about their children’s sleep patterns, their ability to focus on a task, keep information in their memory, and the number of words that they understood and could say.
They also asked parents about their socio-economic status – including their postcode, income, and education – and about the amount of screen time and outdoors activities their child engaged in.
As the research took place during lockdown, it allowed researchers to study children’s intrinsic sleep needs because they weren’t at daycare, which is where they tend to sleep less.
They found the structure of daytime sleep is an indicator of cognitive development.
Lead researcher Dr Teodora Gliga said: “There is a lot of parental anxiety around sleep. Parents worry that their kids don’t nap as much as expected for their age – or nap too frequently and for too long.
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“But our research shows that how frequently a child naps reflects their individual cognitive need. Some are more efficient at consolidating information during sleep, so they nap less frequently.
“Children with smaller vocabularies or a lower score in a measure of executive function, nap more frequently.
“Young children will naturally nap for as long as they need and they should be allowed to do just that.”
Parents of frequent cat-nappers needn’t worry though.
The findings suggest that “children have different sleep needs – some children may drop naps earlier because they don’t need them anymore,” said Dr Gliga, and that “others may still need to nap past three years of age” – and that’s OK.
Having good self-esteem is so important for our mental health – and with social media being exceptionally popular now, it can feel harder than ever to keep our kids feeling confident about themselves and their bodies.
Self-esteem is how a person feels about themselves. According to the charity Young Minds, most children will have dips in self-esteem as they go through different stages or challenges in life, such as bullying or sitting exams.
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And as parents, it can be tough to know what to do to help them through these dips in how they feel about, and view, themselves.
According to the mental health charity, children and young people with low self-esteem might regularly:
Thankfully there are some relatively easy ways we, as parents, can help boost our children’s self-esteem.
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It’s pretty hard to never utter a negative comment to your child (especially when you’ve reached the end of your tether and they’ve been pushing your buttons all day).
According to Big Life Journal, a popular Instagram account offering parenting advice, for every negative comment you make about your child, you should then balance it out with three positive ones.
So, for example, if your child spilled a drink everywhere and you reacted with: “I can’t believe you did that. Why can’t you just hold your cup?”
The experts behind the account advise following up with at least three positive comments to your child that day. So things like: “I noticed you shared with your brother, thank you” or “thank you for putting your jumper away”.
“Scientists discovered that it takes three positive experiences to offset one negative experience,” they wrote in an Instagram post.
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“Your child’s brain is wired to remember and focus on negative comments. So, to build your child’s self-esteem, apply this 3-1 ratio.”
Other ways to boost self-esteem, according to Young Minds, include:
