I Told My Mum I Wanted To Get My Tubes Tied At Age 20. Her Response Changed My Life

I love my little nephew. He has a kid-sized broom that he uses to dance around in his diapers to Freddie Mercury songs as if it’s his microphone.

And I love my little niece, to whom “uppy” means both “pick me up” and “put me down,” and to whom “no” is a magical word for exercising newfound willpower.

I’m always happy to see them, and I have a great time learning from and with them about the world. But when they go home, and the house is so nice and quiet, I breathe a deep sigh of thanks: I get to give them back!

Then I can decide with my husband, Tim, to suddenly go out for dinner (without a diaper bag or babysitter), to go camping, or to visit a casino. We can go see some raucous band and stay out till 1am, or we can fall asleep on the couch watching TV and drinking wine, and wake up whenever we want.

I’m in the phase of life when so many people I know ache to become parents, but meanwhile, I love being child-free. This is, believe it or not, all thanks to my own mum, who also loved her child-free life before she had kids, and made sure to let me know that was OK.

My mum is a badass. She was a nerd growing up, just like me. And just like me, she wanted to travel and go to college, but she had very few financial resources.

So, one day, she joined the army as an interpreter. She went to a language institute and passed a Russian-language program that only a tiny portion of her incoming class passed, and then flew to Germany to work on a mountaintop compound. She was one of three women in a company of 300 men listening to German and Russian soldiers on the radio, translating it all into English for Army intelligence.

That’s where she met my dad. They got married and travelled, came back stateside, and went to college. Roughly eight years later, they had me.

It’s no wonder, then, that when my mum asked me what I wanted from my life as I was having a teenage existential meltdown, I said: “I just want to have an extraordinary life.”

I wanted to travel, take risks, get into trouble, have adventures, go to college and, eventually, make what I hoped would be a positive difference in the world.

I was inspired by my mum’s own life. And at that time in my world, like her, I felt limited only by money, as I had all the other great propulsive forces of youth, like energy, recklessness and idealism. Plus, after my parents’ divorce, my mum, my brother and I lived in my grandmother’s attic, and space was a little tight.

I wanted to explode outward into newness. So when I did move out of the house with my first boyfriend, at about age 20, and my period was late one month, that potential pregnancy felt to me like a very bad thing – not a boon.

I hadn’t travelled.

I hadn’t gone to college, or had any adventures.

I hadn’t taken any big risks.

I sure hadn’t made a difference in the world.

Nick was a nice boyfriend, and he told me he’d get on board with whatever path I wanted to choose: get married and have the baby, have the baby and not get married, put the baby up for adoption, or get an abortion.

I thought about it for a few days and tried on all of these options in my mind. But after much mulling, the only way that felt right was to go on with my original plan of having a wild and free life. I didn’t want a baby. I didn’t want to be pregnant.

I felt like I was about to get stuck in my hometown for the next few decades, changing diapers and picking out public schools.

I decided I would get an abortion on the same day my period came back of its own volition, and I heaved a mental sigh of relief.

However, I was very aware that I had dodged a big baby-sized bullet, despite all of my birth control efforts from the age of 15 onward. And I decided, if I was not to become a mum, that I wanted to be able to have sex like a man, with fewer consequences in the reproductive department.

The author, in her early 30s, with her mom in Arizona.

Courtesy of Lydia Paar

The author, in her early 30s, with her mom in Arizona.

I was able to admit to myself for the first time that I knew I did not ever want to have kids – at least not in any traditional biological sense. If I ever changed my mind about mothering, well, there are millions of kids in the world needing homes.

So, I went and talked to the only person I felt might really understand my need to not mother: my mother.

My mum did something very important for me as I was growing up: she’d told me about some of her experiences in the sex realm, helped me to understand what I was feeling when these experiences started to arise for me, and answered all my questions about how this weird and impactful part of life worked.

Because of this open channel of communication, I knew that my grandmother had flown my mum to Japan in the ’60s for an abortion when she was 18, after American doctors they’d consulted said she “didn’t look sad enough” for a procedure here.

And just as I’d hoped she would, my mum helped me. She offered to take me to get an intrauterine device. I said I’d prefer to just have my tubes tied and be done with it, having already heard my fair share of IUD health horror stories (including hers).

And instead of telling me to “just wait and see” or that I would “probably change my mind” like so many other people have, she called around and got me into an abortion clinic, where I sat down with a counsellor and earnestly explained my desire never to have children. Within a week or two, I had an outpatient tubal ligation procedure.

Looking back now, I realise it must have taken my mum a lot of searching to find a doctor willing to perform this on such a young woman with no previous children; most doctors wouldn’t have, whether out of fear of being sued if I did “change my mind,” or because so many people still believe that all women inherently want or ought to have children.

I also know now, having had my own health care plans and understanding what “elective surgery” means, that when my mum said she had “wrangled things out with our health plan,” she meant she had in fact quietly paid for this surgery for me out of pocket.

So here I am, child-free at 40 and at the doorstep of menopause, remembering, with gratitude, this generous gift. I also remember those other voices:

“You might change your mind.”

“You’re just not ready yet.”

“Your biological clock will kick in someday.”

These are sentiments that have floated around me for years, before and after my tubal, not only from the popular media but from people I’ve loved and trusted. And these are mythologies that surround every woman on the planet, every day: the idea that we are born and built to breed.

“Womanhood is not synonymous with motherhood. For many of us, our truest selves are the selves without progeny.”

We are, as an American culture at least, very much in midprocess of correcting this idea. Womanhood is not synonymous with motherhood. For many of us, our truest selves are the selves without progeny.

And when people, often women, ask me how I feel about things now, I tell them wholeheartedly that I’ve never regretted my decision to amend my reproductive capacities – not once. (I’ve even recommended the procedure to interested parties.) But it’s also important to acknowledge that if I did have regret, it would have been my own choice to regret – not anyone else’s. And that kind of regret, born of agency, is still good; it would have been mine to own.

Needless to say, it’s since become important to me that other women know this “child-free by choice” option is viable from early on in our lives.

I would have been a bad mum at 20: resentful and risky and selfish. I’d still be a mostly bad mum – a little more risk-averse, but covetous of my time alone, my mobility, and my ability to have sex anytime I want without period planning, birth control side effects, and potentially life-changing consequences. I’ve gotten to move over 25 times in the past two decades, meet a ton of people, see and do crazy things, and go to college – a lot.

I’ve been able to reallocate my energy to get really good at other things besides mothering. Not that I buy into the “either-or” myth of motherhood; there are many amazing women who can manage an impressive amount of autonomy, professionalism and wildness while still doing right by their children. It’s just that I knew I couldn’t – and I didn’t want to anyway.

And it’s because people listened to me – my mum and the counsellors and doctors at Oregon’s Lovejoy Surgicenter – that I was able to live the life I wanted to live.

So my takeaway here, besides the closely related “vote pro-choice” sentiment, is that when someone, especially a woman, says, “I don’t think parenthood is for me,” we need to honour and respect them in the same way we would an aspiring parent. Both choices are equally natural, equally potent and equally rich with possibility.

Doctors, support women in permanent birth control when they ask for it. Friends and family, believe what women tell you about their bodies.

Then there remains just this little bonus takeaway: We should remember to enjoy, and to spoil, our nieces and nephews, at least a bit, before we give them back to their parents, who chose the hard work that parenthood entails.

Lydia Paar is an essayist and fiction writer. Her essay “Erasure” was of notable mention in the 2022 “Best American Essays” collection, and was the 2020 winner of North American Review’s Terry Tempest Williams Creative Nonfiction Prize. The New England Review nominated her as a finalist for its 2021 Award for Emerging Writers, and her works have been showcased in outlets such as Literary Hub, The Missouri Review, Essay Daily, Witness, Hayden’s Ferry Review and others. The recipient of an MFA from Washington University in St. Louis and a master’s from Northern Arizona University, Paar is also a former recipient of a Frederick & Frances Sommer Fellowship and of a Millay Arts residency. She currently co-edits for the NOMADartx Review and teaches writing at the University of Arizona. Her first full-length essay collection, “The Entrance Is the Exit: Essays on Escape,” is forthcoming from the University of Georgia Press. She can be reached there or at www.lydiapaar.com.

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The Term ‘Geriatric Pregnancy’ Isn’t Just Offensive, It’s Also BS

Despite the fact that more and more people are waiting longer to get pregnant, having a baby later on in life still comes with a great deal of stigma.

The phrase “geriatric pregnancy” was once commonly used to categorise pregnancies in people over the age 35 before it was eventually replaced by the term “advanced maternal age.” Describing one’s pregnancy as geriatric or elderly was and is not only harmful, causing many people to feel high levels of anxiety about their so-called ticking body clock, it’s flat-out inaccurate.

While it’s true that the risk of experiencing pregnancy complications or infertility increases with age relative to those who are younger, the vast majority of people 35 and up have smooth and successful pregnancies. Not to mention, even if there is an issue, there are many tests and treatments available to help people over 35 go on to have healthy pregnancies in most cases.

“The most likely thing in these pregnancies is that absolutely everything will be fine,” Melissa Rosenstein, a maternal-fetal medicine specialist, and obstetrician and gynaecologist with the University of California, San Francisco, tells HuffPost.

Where the phrase ‘geriatric pregnancy’ came from

Advanced maternal age pregnancies occur when the mother is going to give birth after the age of 35. The risk of any issues goes up as you get older, according to Rosenstein.

But there isn’t anything special about age 35 when it comes to pregnancy risks and complications. It’s not like the risk of your baby having a chromosome abnormality is lower at 34 and suddenly sky rockets the next year. “It’s a gradual progression,” Rosenstein says.

The age 35 was selected decades ago when doctors needed a way to inform which pregnant patients received genetic testing. Back then, studies had indicated that people over 35 had a greater risk of pregnancy loss from amniocentesis – a procedure that evaluates the foetus’s genetics — and doctors decided that only people 35 and up would qualify for this type of genetic testing.

Now, amniocentesis is a much safer procedure, offered to all pregnant people, but there is some remaining stigma about being pregnant after 35.

These days, it’s much more common to get pregnant after 35 as more people delay parenthood and marriage in order to prioritise their careers and education, or because of other personal circumstances.

“Many to most of my patients are over 35 — it’s not really a big deal,” Rosenstein says.

While it’s true that the risk of experiencing pregnancy complications or infertility increases with age relative to those who are younger, the vast majority of people 35 and up have smooth and successful pregnancies.

Adene Sanchez via Getty Images

While it’s true that the risk of experiencing pregnancy complications or infertility increases with age relative to those who are younger, the vast majority of people 35 and up have smooth and successful pregnancies.

The actual risks of being pregnant after age 35

Women and people with uteruses are born with all of the eggs they will have in their lifetime, and as they age, their egg supply – and quality – diminishes. With that, the chances that something will go wrong with the chromosomes during ovulation – the release of the egg from the ovary – also increases.

Research has shown that pregnant people of advanced maternal age are more likely to experience ectopic pregnancy, chromosomal abnormalities, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and need to undergo caesarean delivery.

The risk of infertility also increases as you get older — it may take you longer to get pregnant and you may have a higher chance of having a miscarriage if you get pregnant, according to Rosenstein. But if you have regular periods every month, there is a good chance that you will be fine.

This doesn’t mean that all people who get pregnant over the age of 35 are doomed. In fact, in the vast majority of advanced maternal age pregnancies, everything is completely fine.

“When you do studies, you see that the risk of complications is higher in the older women, but the absolute risk is still very low,” Rosenstein says.

According to Jill Purdie, obstetrician and gynaecologist, and medical director at Northside Women’s Specialists of Pediatrix Medical Group, we now have more accurate tests that can be done early in pregnancy to assess if the mother or foetus have any health issues.

“With early and routine prenatal care, many pregnancy complications can be caught and treated early before they cause a significant issue,” Purdie says. Certain lifestyle choices – like maintaining a healthy body weight and exercising – may help mitigate some of these risks as well.

That said, it’s really hard to predict who is going to have trouble getting pregnant, and being pregnant, in the future. If you are concerned, it’s worth talking to your doctor about how regular, or irregular, your menstrual cycles are and when your mother went through menopause.

Having a baby is a big decision, and Rosenstein says it’s important to do it when you’re ready, at whatever age that may be.

“Although there is some increased risk as outlined above for women of advanced maternal age in pregnancy, the majority of women are able to have a successful and healthy pregnancy at a later age,” Purdie says.

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Is It Endometriosis Or PCOS? Here’s How To Spot The Difference

Endometriosis impacts an estimated 1 in 10 women and girls of reproductive age worldwide. Moreover, recent research suggests that polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is thought to affect somewhere between 4 to 20% of women of reproductive age globally. Though endometriosis and PCOS are common health conditions, people often mistake one for the other or vice versa.

“Endometriosis and PCOS are two reproductive health conditions that are not well understood among many in the medical community,” Dr Stephanie Hack, board-certified obstetrician and gynaecologist and host of the Lady Parts Doctor podcast, tells HuffPost. “They both are associated with the menstrual cycle and fertility issues, making it easy to confuse them. However, they are very different.”

HuffPost spoke with experts about the differences between PCOS and endometriosis, and why it’s important to understand the unique symptoms and treatments for each health condition.

What are endometriosis and PCOS, and how do symptoms differ?

“Endometriosis is a condition in which cells that resemble the lining of the uterus are present anywhere in the body,” says Dr Gaby Moawad, a clinical associate professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at The George Washington University and founder of The Center for Endometriosis & Advanced Pelvic Surgery (CEAPS).

This means that endometrial-like tissue grows in areas such as the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and tissue lining the pelvis. However, this tissue cannot shed like healthy endometrial tissue inside the uterus does during your period. In turn, endometriosis can cause severe pelvic pain, pain during menstruation and intercourse, nausea, bloating, and even pain during urination and bowel movements.

In some cases, people with endometriosis can form endometriomas, which are commonly referred to as “chocolate cysts” due to their dark brown appearance. Though people with endometriosis can form cysts, this is not the same as having PCOS.

According to Moawad, “PCOS by definition is irregular ovulation,” and is a health condition in which the ovaries produce “excess male hormones in the body,” aka androgens. Due to hormonal imbalances and elevated androgen levels, Hack explains that PCOS symptoms include “irregular and/or infrequent periods, weight gain, acne, ovaries with multiple cysts and excessive body hair.”

In addition, people with PCOS regularly develop other serious health conditions. June-Ann Joseph, an advocate and host of the Black Broke and Anxious podcast, says that her PCOS has caused her to experience insulin resistance, difficulty losing weight, and the formation of acanthosis nigricans, which is a skin condition that causes dark, velvety patches to form on different areas of the body.

There are some commonalities between endometriosis and PCOS.

Though endometriosis and PCOS are completely different health conditions, Moawad says a “chronic inflammation pattern” is present in both. Some studies suggest that, though rare, people can have both endometriosis and PCOS.

As Hack notes, both conditions can cause subfertility, an unwanted delay in becoming pregnant, or infertility, which is a complete inability to get pregnant after one year or more of having regular, unprotected sex.

Though PCOS is a common cause of infertility, endometriosis typically creates more complicated fertility issues. This is because, as Moawad says, “endometriosis not only affects the quality of eggs and ovaries, but it also creates a lot of scar tissue which could close the fallopian tubes, as well as damage the uterus.” An estimated 30 to 50% of women with endometriosis experience infertility.

How do physicians treat endometriosis vs PCOS?

Neither PCOS nor endometriosis can be cured, but rather symptoms can be managed through different treatment methods.

Obstetrician-gynaecologists typically take a holistic approach when treating people with PCOS, utilizsng medications that induce ovulation or address potential hormonal imbalances, vitamins to address any nutritional deficiencies that may worsen PCOS symptoms, and working alongside patients to modify lifestyle habits – such as diet – that may contribute to inflammation.

Moawad explains that, for people with endometriosis, the “gold standard” treatment is surgical excision. People who experience severe pain or fertility issues may opt to undergo a laparoscopy; this is a minimally invasive procedure in which a surgeon will use a laparoscope to find areas of endometriosis and remove any lesions or scar tissue. Hormonal therapies such as gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) agonists, birth control pills and hormonal IUDs are also often prescribed for endometriosis.

However, Moawad says that these “medications tend to quiet the symptoms for a period of time, but they don’t cure [endometriosis].” Similarly, surgical interventions for endometriosis are not permanent, and up to 80% of women experience pain again within two years of surgery.

It often takes people a long time to get the right diagnosis, so finding a doctor who listens to you is important.

SDI Productions via Getty Images

It often takes people a long time to get the right diagnosis, so finding a doctor who listens to you is important.

Misconceptions surrounding PCOS and endometriosis must be addressed

Misinformation is ultimately harmful, and may lead to a delay in diagnosis and treatment for many people with these health conditions. Rachel Ennis, a psychology project worker, was only diagnosed with endometriosis in 2022 after experiencing symptoms of the health condition for over 15 years.

“I wish people understood just how exhausting it is to have to fight with medical professionals to get taken seriously, and to get a diagnosis,” Ennis says. “Endometriosis is a whole body disease that can impact every area of your life.”

Further, Joseph stressed that more research about PCOS needs to be done so that doctors can better support patients – and so that people don’t turn to social media for medical advice.

“There are a lot of scam artists and influencers telling you that if you follow their diet plan, you can cure your PCOS,” she explains.

Find a medical professional who validates your concerns and takes your symptoms seriously

It’s crucial to find a doctor who specialises in specific health conditions like endometriosis and PCOS, and specific practice areas such as surgical excision. Though many people may think endometriosis and PCOS are minor conditions, Hack explained they are serious health issues that can be detrimental to a person’s day-to-day life in their own unique ways.

It’s well past time to ditch the misconceptions surrounding both PCOS and endometriosis, and to develop a greater understanding of these health conditions that impact millions of people across the world.

“The most important thing is that we have to empower our patients, validate their concerns and their symptoms, and give them the highest quality of care that they deserve,” Moawad says.

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Women Describe The ‘Extreme’ Physical Pain Of Endometriosis

An estimated 6.5 million people in the United States have endometriosis, a painful condition in which the uterine lining spreads and grows outside of the uterus. But that statistic likely vastly underestimates the prevalence of endometriosis because it’s notoriously difficult to diagnose.

Many of the symptoms ― which range from painful, heavy periods and painful sex to gastrointestinal issues and intense fatigue ― are associated with other reproductive health problems, including ovarian cysts and pelvic inflammatory disease. In addition, the pain associated with endometriosis is often dismissed by doctors as normal period cramps.

The only surefire way to diagnose endometriosis is to get a laparoscopy, a tiny surgical procedure that can identify the size and location of endometriosis. But that’s typically not the first test doctors recommend. Consequently, it can take years of inconclusive tests and misdiagnoses before the condition is properly diagnosed. In fact, endometriosis is so commonly misdiagnosed that the condition has picked up the nickname “the missed disease.”

Below, women diagnosed with endometriosis share what it physically feels like to live with the condition. They hope that their stories will encourage others experiencing symptoms to seek care and advocate for an accurate, timely diagnosis.

Extremely painful, heavy periods

Jaime Henson, a nurse practitioner who was diagnosed with endometriosis at age 32, says her symptoms started when she was 14 – 18 years before she got an official diagnosis.

As a teenager, she had extremely painful and irregular periods. At one point, her period lasted over a month. “I did not want to go out and do things because of the pain and nausea,” Henson says.

Blaine Mallory, a woman diagnosed with endometriosis, said she lost a ton of blood over the course of seven to eight days when she had her period. While menstruating, she experienced extreme cramping and dizziness.

“It was an iron deficiency brought on by my period,” Mallory said. Like Henson, Mallory’s period pain intensified over the years and became localised to her left ovary, which she later learned was covered in endometriosis.

People are often told that period pain is a normal part of menstruation, which causes many who experience intense or severe pelvic pain to believe that it’s just part of having a uterus. While it’s common to have some mild discomfort during menstruation, severe pain that impacts your quality of life or ability to function is not normal.

“I did not know any different and how it was ‘abnormal,’” Henson says.

Intense periods and cramping are hallmark symptoms of endometriosis.

martin-dm via Getty Images

Intense periods and cramping are hallmark symptoms of endometriosis.

Pelvic pain during ovulation

Eventually, Henson’s pain increased and remained a problem throughout the month, not only while she had her period.

“I had extreme pelvic pain to the point where I could not stand up straight and would have to walk hunched over,” Henson says.

Kylie Meyer, a 33-year-old who recently had a hysterectomy to treat her stage 4 endometriosis, said her pain also initially flared up during her period, but got worse and occurred when she was ovulating, too. The pain, which she describes as crampy, was typically localised to one side of her body, rotating between the left ovary and the right ovary each month.

“There’d be times I would be shopping and would have to put my hand, essentially, into my pelvis to try to put pressure on the pain just to get through the store,” Meyer says.

Urinary and gastrointestinal issues

Henson says she sporadically noticed there was blood in her urine and often felt like she had a urinary tract infection ― but when she got tested for a UTI, the test results were normal. Additionally, she developed deep rectal pain. Despite undergoing multiple tests, her gastrointestinal specialist couldn’t identify the root of the problem.

Meyer also developed gastrointestinal issues. “I started getting bloating to the point that my stomach was distended,” she says. The bloating became so severe that her skin ached from being so stretched out.

Difficulty getting pregnant or infertility can be a side effect of endometriosis.

Natalia Gdovskaia via Getty Images

Difficulty getting pregnant or infertility can be a side effect of endometriosis.

Struggling with unexplained infertility

Sheila Petersen, a woman diagnosed with endometriosis at age 34, began trying to get pregnant at 30. After multiple unsuccessful attempts, she was diagnosed with “unexplained infertility.”

She underwent multiple rounds of intrauterine insemination and in vitro fertilization, but still did not get pregnant. When she was finally diagnosed with endometriosis, she understood what had been preventing her from conceiving. Estimates suggest that around 47% of women experiencing infertility have endometriosis.

“I can’t help but wonder if it was caught when I was younger if our fertility journey would have been easier,” Petersen says.

Chronic, intense fatigue

One of the more debilitating symptoms Meyer deals with is fatigue that limits her ability to go out and live her life. Because endometriosis is an inflammatory disease, the body is constantly working to fight off the inflammation. Meyer learned that she has to carve out a few days each month to rest, otherwise her body will get too run down.

“It is exhausting. I can’t do things that I used to be able to do,” she says.

Meyer hopes that by sharing her symptoms, she can prevent others from going down a similar path.

“If I had gotten diagnosed earlier, it probably wouldn’t have gotten to severe stage 4 with frozen pelvis – and who knows if my uterus could have been saved if had I been diagnosed earlier,” Meyer says.

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From Aunties To IG Hairdressers, Black Women’s Hair Ideals Are Changing

You’re reading Gen:Blxck, a series exploring Black culture, history, family and identity through the generations.

My earliest memories of having my hair done are all at home. My mother would braid mine and my sister’s hair before it got too thick for her to manage. Then I met my first hairdresser, a family friend of a friend, called Akosi. I’d travel to her house with my mum and spend the next few hours sitting in between her legs, getting curly box braids (my absolute go-to back then).

But in recent years, there’s been a surge of young Black women getting into the hair industry and using Instagram as a way to find clients. They’re labelled IG hairdressers by the community, and fewer women my age are now going to traditional Black hair salons where ‘Aunties’ typically styled your hair.

Aunties once ruled the Black hair landscape here – we grew up with them and we didn’t have anyone else to compare them to. But now there is a growing ‘Aunties versus IG hairdressers’ debate in the community. And of course there are pros and cons to each.

If you’re looking for a cheap price point, you’d probably want to get your hair done by an auntie. The trouble is, you’re more likely to be waiting a few hours to get your hair finished in the salon as they switch – and chat – between clients.

IG hairdressers, on the other hand, are easier to find and book online and more likely to be able to do a hairstyle they haven’t done before, but they also tend to charge more and often get called out for unprofessional behaviour like cancelling last minute.

Whoever we trust with our hair, the styles Black women are favouring are changing – and fast. For centuries our hair has been policed by whiteness, but now, Black women are finding a new sense of pride. We’re finding our unique styles, whether that’s braving the big chop or saying ‘no’ to wigs altogether.

It’s been a long journey to get here and even the biggest fans of IG hairdressers will acknowledge we’ve got decades of salon owners to thank for it.

“In the 1960s, Black hair was often either stylishly styled in a natural African look or chemically treated to give it a washed-out colour,” co-founder and CEO of Curl Centric, Akirashanti Byrd tells HuffPost UK,

Byrd is 45 and she’s been styling Black hair for 15 years. Her customers are mainly Black women who want to keep their hair in its natural state.

“Often, these women are not familiar with the various styling techniques and products available to them, so I spend a lot of time educating them on the available options,” Byrd says. She has seen many trends in her time as a hairdresser. “By the 1980s, Black women were experimenting with naturally kinky curls and Afros, greatly expanding their style options,” she says.

“In the 1990s, we saw celebrities like Viola Davis rocking bold Black hairstyles that stood out from all other styles. This decade also saw the introduction of blonde hair dye, which helped make light-skinned people’s dark locks more visible. Since then, many variations of Black hairstyles have continued to be popular today, including relaxed curls, cornrows, dreadlocks and afro.”

The ways you can treat and style Black hair have also expanded in this time – especially with the help of the natural hair movement.

Akirashanti Byrd: 'I spend a lot of time educating [women] on the available options.'

Akirashanti Byrd

Akirashanti Byrd: ‘I spend a lot of time educating [women] on the available options.’

The natural hair movement really kicked off in the 60s alongside the civil rights movement, and was spearheaded by political activist Angela Davis. Afros were worn to protest against white supremacy and champion Black liberation.

However, the early to mid 2000s saw a resurgence of this movement. More and more women in our community started to question why we relied so much on straight hair to make us feel worthy. So we put relaxers and the hot combs on pause and brought back the blue magic, afro combs and blow dryers.

Social media has played a big part in this. I learnt how to style my natural hair by watching YouTube. I watched to see how I could maintain a wash and go, slick down my 4C hair, and even attempted to learn how to cane roll (I’m still learning).

“The rise in popularity of natural hairstyles has led to an increase in demand for products and services that cater to this market and has resulted in more Black-owned businesses entering the industry,” Byrd says.

“The natural hair movement has positively influenced the Black hair industry. It has helped increase awareness of the need for products specifically designed for Black hair and has created a demand for these products. This has resulted in more companies developing Black hair care lines, helping to grow the industry.”

Brands like Ruka Hair, Cantu, Shea Moisture, KeraCare are Black girls’ go to for hair products. And women are investing their money into these brands. Black Women in the UK account for 10% of haircare spending, although they make up only 2% of the UK adult population, a survey by TreasureTress found.

“Today, I feel like hair trends seem to change with the season: seasonal colours, lengths and protective styles etc,” says hairstyilst Ayanda Soares. Soares has been a hairdresser for 14 years and describes her customers as those who want to embrace their natural hair and often opt for protective styling.

She began learning when she was a teenager. “I had always done my own hair, as my mum was terrible at doing mine and my sister’s hair – she had dreadlocks for most of our childhood,” she shared. “In secondary school, I would braid friends’ hair and I learned to do braided weaves around the same time.”

Soares tells HuffPost that in her time as a hairdresser, she’s seen a surge in demand for experimental methods such as tape-ins and keratin fusion. These options weren’t accessible in the UK in the same way they were in the US due to a lack of hair suppliers offering extensions for women with Black hair.

“These have been around for many years, but have not been seen at this level in the afro/Black hair space,” she adds.

Ayanda Soares (left) and a model with tape-ins styled by her (right).

Ayanda Soares

Ayanda Soares (left) and a model with tape-ins styled by her (right).

Soares agrees that social media has played its part in changing the landscape of Black hair styling. “It has also has allowed us to showcase our work globally,” she says.

She is big on educating women about how to care for their hair, running training programmes that highlight how to clean and prolong your hair extensions, for example.

“Content creators also help sell the message for us business owners, in terms of education, so we tend to work with influencers often,” she adds.

The pandemic also affected the way Black women do their hair – 64.7% said the way the did their hair changed as a result of lockdowns, according to the TreasureTress research.

More of us made the decision to transition “back to natural”, where women grow out their chemically treated hair. Additionally, they actively sought out resources to educate themselves on how to take care of their hair because they were no longer able to visit professionals due to lockdowns.

And with a younger demographic booking clients, the hair styles Black women are choosing is shifting.

Marlene Gatrude Twinomugisha: 'I just kind of fell into it'

Marlene Gatrude Twinomugisha

Marlene Gatrude Twinomugisha: ‘I just kind of fell into it’

The most popular hairstyles today tend to be the more natural ones, like knotless braids, free-style feed in cane rolls or locs, Marlene Gatrude Twinomugisha, a 20-year-old hairdresser from London tells me.

She started doing hair by “accident”. Similar to Soares, she didn’t like the way her mum did her hair, so took it upon herself to learn how to style it. “I then moved on to to doing hair for my cousins, then my friends and more people were asking me to do their hair at school, so I just kind of fell into it,” she says.

“My experiences getting my hair done by aunties when I was younger was me showing them a hairstyle, them saying they can do it but whenever the style was done, it didn’t look the same at all,” says Twinomugisha, who posts her styles on Instagram under the name Crowned By Her UK.

She believes younger girls have moved to sourcing stylists from Instagram because IG hairdressers are able to jump on hair trends quicker. “Aunties can’t really keep up,” she adds.

However, IG hairdressers also have their issues. Writing for Refinery29 earlier this summer, Yolanthe Fawehinmi detailed how the convoluted booking process and poor customer service is causing young women to return to their roots.

“As more and more horror stories pile in about the last-minute cancellations, excessive fees, where you’ll need to pay a deposit via a booking system to secure an appointment and can be charged for being late, wanting extra length or colour, and of recent, even parting your hair — sometimes bad customer service, young people on social media are boycotting Instagram hairstylists, particularly those on TikTok, who are going back to Britain’s African braiders,” she reported.

Sade Idem, a 25-year-old hairstylist from Kent, says younger black stylists have more of a business mindset.

“With many of us growing up in the UK, we’ve seen how much Caucasian stylists would charge for less challenging hair services, and we realise £60 for seven hours of braiding with no breaks is criminal!” she says.

Idem has a lot of respect for older stylists as they’ve paved the way for the younger ones. “However, many older stylists are focused on the final look, rather than the health of the client’s hair long term,” she comments. “Their customer service can also be affected as they’re trying to fit in as many clients as possible to make up for the low prices they charge.”

Sade Idem: 'We realise £60 for seven hours of braiding with no breaks is criminal.'
Sade Idem: ‘We realise £60 for seven hours of braiding with no breaks is criminal.’

So what does the future of Black hair and hairdressing look like from here? To me, it looks like versatility, growth and experimentation. As we move towards more protective and natural styles, I see us breaking away from the idea that we have to play it safe with our hair. Let’s enjoy it, and have fun.

I hope to see more young Black girls growing in the profession, but I do believe there’s a place for aunties in the Black hairdressing arena. They worked hard to build Black spaces for women to do hair in this country and paved the way for younger Black women to learn and grow as hairdressers.

As Byrd puts it: “There’s no doubt that Black hairdressing is a growing industry with immense potential. The future looks bright for those willing to put in the hard work and dedication required to succeed.”

What does it mean to be Black and British? Well, it depends which generation you ask. This Black History Month, HuffPost UK has teamed up with BuzzFeed’s Seasoned and Tasty UK to find out. Read more from Gen:Blxck here.

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Menopause Has 62 Different Symptoms. How Many Can You Name?

Once you get to a certain age as a woman, you will know that menopause is around the corner.

And with that, comes the symptoms. Hot flushes are all but synonymous with the menopause, even though not all women experience them. And you’ll probably think there are a handful more, too. Well, you’re wrong.

Doctors report there are actually 62 different symptoms of menopause that women present with. That’s despite the biggest study yet into menopause awareness finding most women associate it with just five symptoms.

Hygiene and health company Essity surveyed 5,000 women pre-menopause, in peri, or post menopause – and found even women who are at the end of their journey remain relatively clueless about what they have been through

While 40% of women going through or having gone through the menopause have visited their GP to get help with symptoms, two thirds of women didn’t know menopause decreases sex drive and a whopping 74% didn’t realise it could be linked with weight gain.

Meanwhile, only 1% of women surveyed were aware it can cause changes in their vagina and how often they pee.

Menopause specialist Dr Naomi Potter reveals that tinnitus, UTIs, weaker bones and a change in body odour also feature in the list of menopause symptoms.

And worryingly, there’s a lack of knowledge of when it all kicks in, she says.

“Women believe they can’t experience symptoms in their forties because they’re not old enough, or their symptoms aren’t menopausal – when in fact if they’re over 45, it’s likely they are,” Potter says.

A spokesperson for Essity said: “[These] findings tell us that it’s a heavily misunderstood subject and the taboo surrounding it means women aren’t accessing the information and advice that could really help them.”

So what are the 62 symptoms of menopause?

  1. Palpitations

  2. Chest pain

  3. Breast tenderness

  4. Itchy skin

  5. Dry Skin

  6. Rosacea

  7. Acne

  8. Thin skin

  9. Collagen loss

  10. Crying

  11. Brain Fog

  12. Memory Loss

  13. Poor concentration

  14. Word finding difficulty

  15. Anxiety

  16. Low mood

  17. Worsening PMS

  18. Anger/ Rage /

  19. Irritability

  20. Headache

  21. Migraines

  22. Joint Pain

  23. Joint stiffness

  24. Vaginal Dryness

  25. Vaginal discharge

  26. Vulval itch

  27. Perineal itch

  28. Vulval/ vaginal electric shocks

  29. Increase in thrush

  30. Increase in BV

  31. Poor libido

  32. High libido

  33. Weight gain

  34. Scalp Hair loss

  35. Unwanted Hair growth

  36. Urinary Infections

  37. Urinary incontinence

  38. Urinary urgency

  39. Nocturia (getting up at night)

  40. Sexual Dysfunction

  41. Chest Tighness

  42. Constipation

  43. Gastric reflux

  44. Fatigue

  45. Night Sweats

  46. Hot flushes

  47. Cold flushes

  48. Period increased frequency

  49. Periods decreased frequency

  50. Heavier periods

  51. Muscle Loss

  52. Tinnitus

  53. Dry eyes

  54. Watery eyes

  55. Burning mouth

  56. Gum disease

  57. Foot pain

  58. Frozen shoulder

  59. Insomnia

  60. Histamine sensitivity

  61. New allergy

  62. Body odour change

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We Hear You, Dina Asher-Smith, Periods Are Still A Bloody Mystery

Sprint superstar Dina Asher-Smith has revealed the cramps she experienced in her calf earlier this week, causing her to finish last in a 100m race at the European Championships, were down to her period – and we can relate.

When asked about what happened, the 26-year-old responded: “It was just ‘girl stuff’. It’s just frustrating. It’s one of those things. It’s a shame because I’m in really good shape and I was really looking to come and run fast.”

True to form, a few days later she returned to the track and qualified for the 200m final.

She has now called for more research into how periods impact performance from a sports science perspective, “because it’s huge”.

“People don’t always talk about it either,” she said. “Sometimes you see girls that have been so consistent and there’s a random dip and behind the scenes they’ve been really struggling. Everybody else will go ‘What’s that? That’s random’.

“So we could just do with more funding. I feel if it was a men’s issue there would be a million different ways to combat things.”

We’ve all got stories like this. A colleague reveals she had her first period while sitting her GCSE exams and honestly thought she was going to die. Needless to say, she struggled to perform to the best of her ability.

I’ve had moments where the ability to do even the most basic of tasks – let alone run a race or sit an exam – have been completely obliterated by my menstrual cycle.

One memory instantly comes to mind: commuting home from work on the tube and having to get off several stops early because I was doubled over in so much pain and there were no seats available.

Hot, nauseous and unable to stand up straight, I made it to a bench on the platform and sat there for some time before my boyfriend turned up in a taxi to take me home. So yes, I tip my hat to Dina for even finishing the race.

Wherever you turn, women and people who menstruate are dealing with periods – and we agree with Dina, it’s time sports bodies invested heavily in research.

Tennis star Heather Watson previously told HuffPost UK how she quietly handles her period, which makes her feel bloated and low on energy when she’s on the court: “I really don’t think there’s much you can do when you’re on your period before a game except be strong and deal with it as best you can, because that’s what we all do on a monthly basis.”

She’s previously taken the contraceptive pill to delay her period during big tournaments. But even taking the pill can sometimes backfire or cause unwanted side effects.

Speaking to HuffPost UK, British synchronised swimmer Isabelle Thorpe revealed there have been a few occasions “when it’s gone wrong and I’ve bled for longer than I expected”.

British runner Eilish McColgan was also prescribed the pill after experiencing, what she described for a BBC column as, “excruciating cramps every month to the point where my body would go into a fever and start vomiting”. She recalled having a full day in bed “feeling like death” and then waking up the next day like nothing had happened.

But being on the pill made her feel “rotten,” she said, and it impacted her emotionally.

“It still fascinates me that a large majority of women struggle with their menstrual cycles every month, and yet no one seems to have the answers. Even now, the research in regards to sport, especially, is sparse,” wrote McColgan.

Dr Sarah Zipp, an expert in menstrual health and sport, and associate professor at Mount St Mary’s University, in Maryland, says we now need to see more research into the area. “The menstrual cycle has enormous impacts on physical health, performance, etc.,” she tells HuffPost UK.

“The body experiences many changes throughout the cycle, it goes beyond just coping with symptoms of menstruation. Yet we have relatively little research on the impact of menstrual cycles, which is pretty shocking given that there is sport science research into just about anything that might provide the tiniest performance advantage.”

She says the lack of research is in line with “the overall absence of research on women’s health” more broadly.

Dr Camilla Mørk Røstvik, a historian of menstruation at the University of Aberdeen and University of St Andrews, agrees “there needs to be more research into every facet of the menstrual cycle”.

“Many of us are trying to do that through, for example, the Society for Menstrual Cycle Research (established 1970), the Menstruation Research Network and more,” she says.

But these areas are woefully underfunded. “Asher-Smith is so right, and I’d add that we need proper funding too,” she continues.

“It’s a frustration, because there is clearly an interest amongst the public, just not amongst funding bodies or sponsors (yet).”

If you’d like to share how periods have impacted your performance in sport or at work, please tweet us: @huffpostuklife and we may include some of the tweets in this article.

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There Are 3 Types Of Female Orgasm, According To A Male Professor

The big ‘O’, the climax also known as an orgasm. Sure you can have fun without one, but, let’s be honest, ut’s the part of sex we all want to experience, which is why we can’t stop talking about how we can get one, especially as women.

The female orgasm has been studied and researched for centuries, but now there’s new research that suggests there are actually three different types.

The study from Charles University in Prague, found that when women have an orgasm, their pelvic floor muscles tend to move in one of three patterns: a wave, a volcano, or an avalanche.

A ‘wave’ is everything you’d expect to feel – waves of tension and release of your pelvic floor muscles.

A ‘volcano’ feels like more of an explosion towards the end of the orgasm, as your pelvic floor explodes into a swift tension and release.

An ‘avalanche’ involves higher pelvic floor tensions in the build up, which drop when you orgasm.

James Pfaus, professor of neuroscience at Charles University in Prague led the study, which invited 54 women to use the ‘Lioness’, a Bluetooth-connected vibrator, to reach orgasm.

Volunteers were asked to masturbate at home using the device over a period of a few days. The vibrator was programmed to measure the force of their pelvic floor contractions via two sensors – which researchers analysed remotely to work out the rhythm and pattern of these movements in the participants.

‘Wave’ orgasms were most common – 26 out of 54 women experienced this type, whilst 17 had ‘avalanche’ orgasms and 11 had a ‘volcano’ orgasm.

Professor Pfaus said: “We are doing a long-term study of women using the Lioness to see how these different patterns are experienced subjectively as orgasms, as levels of pleasure, [and] where the stimulation that induces them largely comes from.”

Many women may have experienced more than one orgasm pattern, while others might say that even one orgasm is better than none, especially with recent studies pointing to a major gender-based orgasm gap.

For every sexual encounter, men orgasm on average 87% of the time, while women experience them 65%.

Orgasm rates also vary depending on your sexuality, with heterosexual men orgasming most regularly, followed by gay men, bisexual men, lesbians, bisexual women – and finally, at the bottom of the list, heterosexual women.

Lisa Williams, co-author of More Orgasms Please: Why Female Pleasure Matters, previously told HuffPost UK that this orgasm gap isn’t down to anatomy, as women are able to orgasm as quickly as men when they masturbate.

“It can take as little as four minutes for a woman, which is the same as men, but there is a perception it’s going to take about 40 minutes during sex,” she said.

No one should feel compelled to have an orgasm – many people have a fulfilling experience without reaching this point – and some people are anorgasmic (or unable to orgasm).

But Williams encourages women to become more familiar with their bodies and what they like. Then, when they get into a sexual situation with a partner, they can be less afraid to say what they do and don’t enjoy.

If this new research isn’t an excuse to start exploring, we don’t know what is. So, wave, volcano or avalanche? Which one will you be having next?

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England’s Lionesses Aren’t Just Inspiring Girls, They’re Inspiring A Nation

Just like young Tess, eight, who danced her way through their Euro semi-final in Sheffield on Tuesday, we couldn’t be prouder of England’s Lionesses.

Tickets to Sunday’s final against Germany at Wembley Stadium, the largest sports venue in the UK and second-largest stadium in Europe, are completely sold out – all 87,200 of them. It will be the biggest attendance ever for a men’s or women’s Euro final, and the game will closely rival the highest attended women’s football match of all time (when 91,553 watched Barcelona play Real Madrid in the UEFA Women’s Champions League in March).

Three years ago we watched as the Lionesses exceeded all expectations in the 2019 Women’s World Cup, only falling to eventual champions, the USA.

While football didn’t come home that night in Lyon, it certainly felt as though women’s football was here to stay. And so it has proved.

After a pandemic pause, the current Lionesses, led by captain Leah Williamson and cool-as-you-like head coach Sarina Wiegman, have stormed through this Euro tournament, scoring 20 goals between them in front of delighted crowds, and only conceding one – in that nail-biting quarter-final against Spain.

Midfielder Georgia Stanway, who scored the extra-time “stunner” that saw them through that game in Brighton, has said: “I think we need to kind of stop talking about how big women’s football is getting and talk about how big it is.”

And she added of her team: “We’re just hitting new levels every single time.”

England’s comprehensive 4-0 victory against Sweden in the semi-final earlier this week drew 9.3 million viewers across BBC TV and streaming – the largest audience for the tournament so far.

Fans went wild for goals from Beth Mead, Lucy Bronze and Fran Kirby, for the sparkling clean-sheet of goalkeeper, Mary Earps, but most of all for super-sub Alessia Russo’s devilish back-kicked nutmeg in the second half. Even the US Embassy had to give Russo props for it with a cheeky homage on Twitter.

England goalkeeper Mary Earps and captain Leah Williamson celebrate after Alessia Russo's goal in the semi-finals.

Visionhaus via Getty Images

England goalkeeper Mary Earps and captain Leah Williamson celebrate after Alessia Russo’s goal in the semi-finals.

And all this in a sport that the English Football Association effectively banned in 1921, because – and we kid you not here – the FA worried the growing popularity of women’s games was threatening to attract too large a crowd.

“Complaints having been made as to football being played by women, Council felt impelled to express the strong opinion that the game of football is quite unsuitable for females and should not be encouraged,” it ruled at the time.

We’ve come a long way since then, thank goodness, and now around the world, women are matching their male counterparts for passion, drive and visibility. Australian striker Sam Kerr, of Chelsea FC Women, will soon become the first female player to feature on the cover of the football game FIFA for 2023.

So, if there’s a difference between women’s and men’s football, it isn’t down to technique. These Euros have shown that women are more than capable at smashing the sport. It’s more about the way it makes us feel: positive.

Amelia Dimoldenberg, a 28-year-old writer, was at the opening game of the Euros on July 6, when England played against Austria at Old Trafford – and noticed the difference.

As a young woman, going to a men’s game can still feel intimidating, she tells HuffPost UK. “There’s so much testosterone there and so much bravado, and when you go to a women’s game it’s void of most of that” – not just because of the number of families in the stands, she adds. “It’s just exciting to see young girls and young people getting involved with the sport.

You only had to listen to BBC broadcasters Alex Scott and Ian Wright reacting to Tuesday’s heroics to realise that times aren’t changing – they already have.

Scott and Wright, who formerly played for Arsenal women’s and men’s teams respectively, as well as for their national sides, spoke eloquently in the moment about the journey to this point in football – and the future potential.

“It is hard for me not to get emotional right now,” Scott said, holding back tears, “because the amount of investment which has gone into the women’s game is for a moment like this. For this team to get to Wembley, they are creating something special and deserve every accolade which is coming their way.”

She added: “Everyone who has been involved in women’s football has been waiting for this moment. It’s special.”

Wright agreed, but also had a message to those who run the game. “Whatever happens in the final now, if girls are not allowed to play football in their PE, just like the boys can, what are we doing?” he said passionately post-match.

“We have got to make sure they are able to play and get the opportunity to do so. If there’s no legacy to this – like with the Olympics – then what are we doing as this is as proud as I’ve ever felt of any England side.”

Photographer Jade Keshia Gordon, 28, from London, is a lifelong Arsenal fan who started supporting both the club’s teams when she was eight. She also thinks women’s football should be championed so girls know it’s possible and “okay” to play.

“I played football as a kid and I remember hearing that I should ‘do something that girls do’ from boys my age. I hope that if I was to ever have a daughter they will have no fear of joining their football team,” Gordon tells HuffPost UK.

A young England fan cheers on the Lionesses during the England-Sweden game.

Catherine Ivill – UEFA via Getty Images

A young England fan cheers on the Lionesses during the England-Sweden game.

Gordon says she enjoys watching women play for the dedication, drive and persistence on show – and of course the sheer skill of it.

“I don’t know if it’s because they’ve felt like they’ve always had to prove themselves, but I feel a sense of strength when they play and it’s just good football, regardless of them being women,” she says. “Football is football regardless of the gender.”

It’s a sentiment that Charlotte Thomson agrees with wholeheartedly. As head of women’s football at Copa 90, a football media company that makes fan-first content, she believes the energy surrounding the Lionesses is built on more than just a successful tournament on the pitch.

“This team is proof that women’s football has well and truly arrived,” she says.

Iconic moments provided by the likes of Stanway and Russo breaking into the football zeitgeist is testament to the changing perceptions around women’s football,” says Thomson. “At the time of writing, Russo’s goal alone has been viewed 17 times per second, every second (!) since it was scored.”

The conversation has moved on from inspiring young girls to inspiring a nation, Thomson adds, and agrees that the atmosphere at games is something else.

You don’t have to delve too deeply into women’s football fan culture to get a taste of the positive, inclusive space they occupy,” she says. “Turning up to any of the matches this summer and the atmosphere you are greeted with is more akin to that of a festival than a typical football match.”

Lionesses fans celebrating in Sheffield.

Catherine Ivill – UEFA via Getty Images

Lionesses fans celebrating in Sheffield.

This positivity tips over onto social media, she adds, where Copa 90 has seen huge engagement for its match day takeovers, while off the pitch, collectives such as Baller FC, Studs and This Fan Girl have hosted watch parties and events, welcoming “everyone and anyone” to join in, Thomson says.

“However, do not make the mistake in thinking a positive space is one that’s less passionate, quieter and lacking in atmosphere,” she adds. “You just need to hear the hoarse voices of the fans this summer to understand that is most certainly not the case.”

The inclusivity she speaks of also includes the brilliant LGBTQ+ representation in the women’s game, on and off the pitch.

At the last Women’s World Cup, at least 41 players were openly gay or bisexual with individuals like USA’s Megan Rapinoe using the platform to speak out for the community – whereas, over in the male game, this year Jake Daniels was the first professional player to come out publicly since Justin Fashanu in 1990.

“The active allyship among the women football community is to be celebrated, and is something the men’s game can learn a lot from,” Thomson says.

That doesn’t mean that progress isn’t still needed in other areas. Many fans have noticed how white the current national women’s football team is – and Thomson stresses that “a lot of systemic work” must be done.

“The fact that the current Lionesses have only three black players – Jess Carter, Nikita Parris and Demi Stokes – is proof there is clearly a need for change,” she says. Even more so, when the latest figures from Sport England’s Active Lives report show the significant numbers of girls and young women of colour who are participating in the game at a grassroots level.

“Work needs to be done from the bottom up, ensuring centres of excellence are not just in rural locations and offering resources to give a wider group of girls access to key talent pathways, ” says Thomson.

“Additionally, we need to be providing role models from a grassroots perspective, given there’s not much at the top.”

Nikita Parris during an England training session during the Euros.

Lynne Cameron – The FA via Getty Images

Nikita Parris during an England training session during the Euros.

Even though Thomson, along with so many of us, has been loving the Euros coverage, she doesn’t think all football fans have to champion women’s football.

“For some people, women’s football just isn’t for them. For others, women playing football is outright offensive. But that’s okay – we don’t need them,” she says.

“The record breaking numbers this tournament has produced almost daily is testament to that. I would, however, like to see people taking heed from Leah Williamson’s quote from a recent BBC documentary: ‘I don’t particularly like watching fencing, but I don’t tweet to say that I don’t like it!’”

Nor is it one-size-fits-all. Sure, it’s heartening to see David Beckham thanking the Lionesses for inspiring his daughter Harper and the Duke of Cambridge appearing on Instagram this morning with Princess Charlotte to wish the team luck in the final. But their reach goes way beyond this demographic.

“Contrary to how the game has been marketed in the past, we know that there is more to women’s football fans than the watered-down ‘daddy and daughters’ parade that is often portrayed,” says Thomson. “Women’s football fans have proven to be wide ranging and highly engaged.”

And one thing’s for sure, they’ll all be tuned into Sunday’s final at Wembley, where, regardless of the score, we’ll be supporting the Lionesses all the way.

Good luck to the Lionesses!

Danny Lawson – PA Images via Getty Images

Good luck to the Lionesses!
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These Ukrainians Support First Lady Olena Zelenska’s Controversial Vogue Shoot – Here’s Why

Ukraine’s First Lady Olena Zelenska has been accused of “glamourising the war” on Twitter after starring in Vogue magazine’s cover shoot – but many Ukrainians don’t see it that way.

Zelenska and the president, her husband Volodymyr Zelenskyy, have been pushing Russia’s unprovoked invasion of Ukraine to the top of the international news agenda for almost six months, in a bid to secure more help from the West.

Zelenskyy has spoken in the UK’s House of Commons, at the UN and at the EU. He has been featured on TIME magazine’s front cover over his leadership skills, and was even dubbed the “modern Churchill” for his communication.

Then, fashion magazine Vogue put the couple on its cover.

While Zelenska led the shoot – and in one photo was photoshopped into a scene with Ukrainian soldiers – she also posed with her husband in his army clothes for a couple of other images.

And something about the shoot rattled some on Twitter:

However, many Ukrainians on the same platform have been keen to defend Zelenska and remind these critics what war really looks like.

In a Twitter thread, Oleksandra Povoroznyk pointed out: “Most of the English-speaking people on the internet are lucky enough to have no clue what a war actually looks like.”

Through a follow-up exchange with HuffPost UK, she added that she was “genuinely surprised that so many non-Ukrainians saw the photoshoot as something controversial”, and not a “reflection of how strong Ukrainian women actually are”.

“Most Ukrainians I’ve spoke to see the photos and the interview as an important part of what Zelenska’s doing to draw more attention to our country,” Povoroznyk explained.

“In fact, a lot of Ukrainian women are super happy that Zelenska wasn’t portrayed as some kind of dainty and shy tradwife [traditional wife] hiding behind her husband.”

She added that “a lot of Eastern European women are portrayed as very stereotypically feminine”, even though there are still female volunteers in the Ukrainian army right now.

Povoroznyk, who is based in the Ukrainian capital of Kyiv according to her Twitter profile, said, “nothing about the photoshoot is ‘glamourising’ the war”.

Instead, she said it was a “pretty accurate representation of what the war feels and looks like to many Ukrainians who are lucky enough to be in cities controlled by Ukraine”.

She claimed that while it was clear those in occupied cities would face a different reality, people in cities are trying to find “some kind [of] war-life balance”.

The Ukrainian explained that plenty of people still do their best to work, to go out with friends, get their nails done, put makeup on under the “constant threat of air strikes”.

She added: “And yet we keep going, because there’s literally nothing else we can do. And sure, a photoshoot for Vogue might not seem like work for the average lurker on Twitter, but it is part of Zelenska’s duties as First Lady.

“Her job is to keep the world’s attention on Ukraine, and that’s why she ’s giving interviews and speeches and yes, even having her photos taken by huge publications like Vogue.”

She also pointed out in a subsequent tweet that Britain’s Queen – back when she was Princess Elizabeth – also took part in photoshoots during World War 2, to raise awareness of the war effort.

She was not the only person to defend the images either, both in and out of Ukraine.

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