Oh Joy, All The Ways Our Childcare System Is A Complete Bin Fire Right Now

Britain’s childcare system is on the brink – and parents are feeling the strain more than ever.

Soaring nursery fees, staff retention issues and nursery closures are just some of the issues the sector is facing, with repercussions for childcare workers, parents and children.

Here’s a rundown of all the ways in which the system is on its knees right now – and if one thing’s abundantly clear, it’s that change must happen fast.

1. Childcare costs are horrendously expensive

A new report has confirmed what every parent already knows (and dreads) – that childcare costs are extortionate. According to charity Coram, the average annual cost of a full-time nursery place for a child under two in Britain is just shy of £15,000. To put that into context, annual university course fees are a maximum of £9,250.

Recently, parents were left reeling by news that these fees may rise by a further £1,000 this year because of the cost of living. This is on top of the fact the average costs of childcare have risen by 5.9% in the past year, according to Coram.

The TUC previously warned that the cost of early years care for a child under two could rise to £2,000 a month by 2026. But for some, this is already the case. One dad in London told HuffPost UK he’s shelling out £2,100 per month for his daughter to go to nursery four days a week.

It’s a postcode lottery for many parents. Coram’s report found there are significant differences in the cost and availability of childcare depending on where you live across England.

The average weekly cost of a part-time place for a child under two is 54% higher in inner London (£199.01) than in Yorkshire and Humberside (£129.32).

Parents in the UK face some of the most expensive childcare costs among leading economies, according to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD).

There is some help available. From the age of two, children from low income families are eligible for ‘free hours’ at nursery in England, Wales and Scotland. When they turn three, all children – regardless of household income – are entitled to a certain amount of these ‘free hours’ per week.

In Northern Ireland, the picture is different again. There are no ‘free hours’ as such, but all three- and four-year-olds are entitled to a funded pre-school place of at least 12.5 hours per week during term time.

Parents who earn less than £100,000 a year can also get tax-free childcare – up to £2,000 a year – to help with childcare costs. But when the total cost of putting a child in nursery can be up to £15,000 a year, it’s still a struggle for lots of families.

Unfortunately, many women are suffering as a result of such costs. A staggering three in four mums (76%) who pay for childcare say it no longer makes financial sense for them to work, a recent report by the charity Pregnant Then Screwed found. One in four parents (26%) say their nursery bill is now more than 75% of their take-home pay.

This time last year, a survey of almost 27,000 parents with young children found the cost of childcare had driven 43% of mums to consider leaving their jobs.

The sad reality is that women are not just considering this – many do leave. A staggering 84% of the 1.75 million people who’ve given up work to care for their family are women, according to ONS data.

2. It’s actually really hard to get a spot in nursery

It’s got to the point where people are signing up for nursery waiting lists when pregnant – and sometimes even before conceiving a baby – because demand is so high. And those who don’t get ahead end up stuck without childcare, or have to make alternative arrangements, which can often make returning to work very tricky.

Joanna Corfield, head of communications and campaigns at NCT, previously told HuffPost UK they’d been hearing more and more about how working parents are having to think about childcare well in advance of when they need it.

“In some areas where demand is high and provision is low, some families are having to make decisions in the early stages of pregnancy,” she confirmed.

3. Childcare staff are (unsurprisingly) leaving for better paid jobs

With everything else that’s going on, the sector is facing staff retention issues. In October 2021, a Early Years Alliance survey on staff recruitment and retention in the early years sector in England revealed over a third of respondents were actively considering leaving the sector.

Meanwhile one in six believed that staffing shortages were likely to force their setting to close permanently within a year.

The survey also found more than eight in 10 settings were finding it difficult to recruit staff. Around half had to limit the number of, or stop taking on, new children at their setting in the six months prior to the survey.

The average salary of a UK nursery worker is £21,000 according to Totaljobs. But despite the low salary, the job is increasingly stressful – especially as staff shortages mean more pressure on those who are left behind. It’s also resulting in nurseries having to close rooms at short notice, leaving parents in the lurch.

In early years settings in England, one adult can look after three children under two years old; or four children aged two; or eight children aged three and over.

Under Liz Truss’s premiership, it was suggested these ratios could be stretched further, so staff could look after more children at one time – some parents were concerned it would pose a safety issue while members of the childcare sector suggested it would prompt even more staff to leave.

Neil Leitch of the Early Years Alliance previously told HuffPost UK that while childcare settings spend the majority of their income on staff wages, “years of government underfunding has meant that many educators are on little more than the national living or minimum wage”. Because of this, people are leaving the industry for better-paid positions in sectors such as retail and hospitality. And who can blame them?

4. Nurseries are closing at a rate of knots

Nurseries and childcare settings are also dropping like flies – and some organisations suggest it’s only going to get worse because of the cost of living.

The overall number of childcare providers in England dropped by around 4,000 between April 2021 and March 2022, according to figures from Ofsted.

In August 2022, the National Day Nurseries Association (NDNA) warned that between September 2022 and 2023, we could see record-breaking numbers of closures leading to a “catastrophic” reduction in places.

Purnima Tanuku, chief executive of NDNA, said at the time: “Most nurseries are small businesses and similar to the picture in other sectors, these are hugely impacted by rocketing fuel costs, inflation and chronic underfunding.” Tanuku added that nurseries have also had to pay “unfair business rates”.

The latest Coram survey revealed there’s been a sharp drop in childcare availability across England over the past year, with only half of local areas reporting sufficient childcare for children under two. This was a decrease of 7% on 2022.

5. Disabled children and those from low income households are impacted greatly

One of the alarming findings from Coram’s report is that less than one in five (18%) local authorities in England report sufficient childcare for children with disabilities – a 3% decrease on 2022.

The charity called for improved support for children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) by introducing responsive funding to improve staff skills and make more childcare places accessible.

In Britain, parents can get help with childcare costs thanks to ‘free hours’. Some parents are eligible for 15 hours free childcare a week for two-year-olds.

All three to four-year-olds in England can get 15 hours free childcare a week (for 38 weeks of the year). And some eligible parents (for example, those on benefits) of three to four-year-olds may also be eligible for 30 hours free childcare a week. It’s a similar picture in Wales and Scotland.

But nurseries are struggling to offer these funded spots. Almost half (43%) of local authorities across Britain report that some or many of their local childcare providers have reduced the number of funded early education entitlement places they can provide.

It’s no surprise this is happening as these spots have historically been underfunded. A 2022 survey by the Early Years Alliance found that for 86% of settings, funding for the three- and four-year-old early entitlement scheme does not cover the cost of delivering places – and around a third (30%) of the providers surveyed said they’re operating at a loss.

6. There isn’t actually a plan (that we know of) for sorting all of this out

While there’s been a lot of talk about how to tackle the nation’s childcare problem from various prime ministers, not much has actually happened to sort the issue so far.

In Rishi Sunak’s first speech of 2023, back in January, the prime minister revealed his educational priorities for the next two years – but his plans for childcare weren’t exactly detailed.

When a member of the press asked about the childcare sector, Sunak responded: “The government and I are completely committed to ensuring good availability and affordability and flexibility of childcare. There’s a consultation that is out at the moment, and we’re in the process of considering – about some reforms – and it wouldn’t be right for me to comment on that now.”

In December last year it was revealed that childcare will be treated as “national infrastructure” – this means local councils will be able to fund it alongside other crucial services like schools, GP surgeries and public transport.

It’s hoped the issue of childcare will be addressed at the spring budget on March 15. There have been murmurings that Sunak is considering extending the free 30 hours for childcare to all parents – not just those who are eligible because they’re on benefits. But nothing has been confirmed as of yet.

What we do know is that changes to Universal Credit will reportedly be announced at the budget, including paying parents on Universal Credit childcare support upfront and increasing the amount they can claim by several hundred pounds.

But for parents who aren’t on Universal Credit, the struggle may well continue if no additional support is provided.

Megan Jarvie, head of Coram Family and Childcare, said: “The need for reform of the childcare system is urgent. As well as eye watering bills, parents are facing widening gaps in availability of the childcare they need.

“As the Chancellor decides his budget, we urge him to recognise the value of investing in childcare – it is a wise investment, enabling parents to work and boosting the outcomes of young children.”

The charity wants to see a reformed system which “prioritises quality, guarantees a childcare place for every child, values the workforce and makes sure that parents only pay what they can afford”.

One thing’s abundantly clear: sorting out childcare should be a priority for the government, as charity Pregnant Then Screwed found 96% of families with a child under three years old are likely to vote for the political party with the best childcare pledge in the next election.

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I Know A Lot About Toddlers, Here Are 5 Potty Training Mistakes Parents Make

Plenty of parents dread potty training – and for good reason. There will be rogue poos that find their way onto your favourite rug, there will be wee everywhere, and there will be tears (mainly from you).

But once the penny drops and things click into place, nothing can quite prepare you for that feeling of accomplishment. You will burst with pride – not just for your genius of a child, but for yourself. After all, if you can teach them how not to soil themselves, you can literally achieve anything.

For those yet to embark on the journey, or if you’ve recently started but aren’t having much success, there are some key things to know.

Potty training and toddler specialist Amanda Jenner – who is glamorously known by kids as “the wee and poo fairy” – has worked with hundreds of parents over the years, helping their children master the art of going to the toilet.

When asked what the perfect age is to start, she says there isn’t one as every child is different. “You know your child best,” she says, suggesting you might want to start the process “any time from around 2-4 years old”. When they’re showing signs of readiness (more on that later) and can communicate when they need to go, “then it’s the right time to give it a go,” she adds.

Here, the toddler expert talks us through the potty training mistakes that parents commonly make (we’re only human after all) – and how to rectify them.

1. Starting when your child isn’t ready

If you’ve started potty training, given it a good couple of weeks and your toddler is showing absolutely no interest and having lots of accidents, then they are simply not ready, says Jenner.

Children are able to control their bladder and bowels when they’re physically ready and when they want to be dry and clean. Every child is different, so some might be ready to start this sooner than others.

We know that by two years of age, some children will be dry during the day, but the NHS acknowledges this is still quite early. By three, however, most children are dry most days – although some will have the odd accident if excited or upset.

What to do instead: have a break for one or two months and then start fresh. Look out for them showing signs of readiness. These include:

  • stopping in their tracks when they are doing a wee or a poo,
  • becoming aware of their bodily functions,
  • insisting on a nappy change when it has been soiled,
  • hiding behind the sofa when they are doing a wee,
  • going longer periods with drier nappies,
  • understanding simple instructions and commands,
  • being able to communicate that they’ve done a wee or poo.

2. Getting started when there’s a change in circumstances

It’s not a good idea to start potty training if you’re experiencing some disruption to your lives right now. This could be because your toddler is feeling unwell, there’s a new baby in the family, you’ve moved house, your child has started or changed nursery, or there are any problems in the household, such as a separation or a death in the family, says Jenner.

What to do instead: wait until there’s less disruption in your lives and start the process again. Jenner recommends spending the week before you start potty training educating yourselves on the process and reading a potty training story book to your little one to help them understand what they have to do.

StefaNikolic via Getty Images

3. Getting frustrated with your child

Potty training can be unbelievably frustrating for both you and your toddler. Believe us, we know. But little ones don’t like to disappoint their parents, so try not to become cross with your child for accidents or not wanting to sit on the potty or toilet, says Jenner.

What to do instead: turn your frustration into lots of encouragement using upbeat and happy language. You could say: “mummy and daddy are so proud of you for trying” or “what a big boy/girl you are using the potty/toilet and wearing big girl/boy pants”.

4. Trying to nighttime potty train at the same time as daytime potty training

Trying to get your child to use a potty in the day and then go through the night without going to the toilet – and not wearing any nappies – is probably not going to work out like you’d hoped.

It usually takes a little longer for children to learn to stay dry throughout the night and although most learn this between the ages of three and five, around 20% of children aged five sometimes wet the bed.

Nighttime dryness involves different bladder control than the day and some children sleep deeper than others, which means they aren’t aware when they have a full bladder, says Jenner, which can then lead to bed wetting.

What to do instead: wait until they are dry in the day for a couple of months and then begin nighttime training. In the meantime, keep them in nappies overnight.

5. Forcing them to sit on the potty if they are refusing

If they won’t sit on the potty, don’t make them do it as this will only result in them associating the potty with a negative or fearful experience, says Jenner, meaning they probably won’t want to continue with potty training.

What to do instead: try using distractions and making it a more fun and positive experience – use bubbles, books and sensory toys. If they still refuse, then stop after a few days of trying and revisit again in a month or so. Continue to educate them in this break by using books, flash cards, watching videos and talking about it. Good luck!

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Help! My Toddler’s Taken A Serious Dislike To One Of Our Relatives

Having kids is all fun and games until your child decides they hate your relative – especially when you’re going to be spending Christmas with them.

One mum recently took to networking app Peanut to say her toddler had taken quite the dislike to her sister-in-law’s husband.

“She is a totally chill baby but when he comes over she will cry loads and cling to me,” she wrote. “I haven’t seen her like this with anyone else.”

What’s more, the mum said her sister-in-law’s husband is “the loveliest person”. What a pickle.

“I feel so bad that she doesn’t like him,” she wrote. “Any tips or advice? We’re having them over on Christmas Day and I’m worried. I also feel bad as she’s obsessed with my side of the family.”

There might be several reasons why little ones take a dislike to family members or friends, suggests Dr Kalanit Ben-Ari, a family therapist who founded the parenting platform Get The Village.

In some instances, a baby might sense a parent’s anxiety or stress around a particular person and react to it, she says. It might also be that once that person holds the baby, the child loses touch with the parents and becomes stressed, leading to fear of separation anxiety that is associated with that person.

“The problem is that when a parent anticipates the baby’s stressful reaction, the baby becomes more stressed, so it is a cycle or reaction that starts to be associated with that person,” says Dr Ben-Ari.

Everything a young child does – whether throwing themselves on the floor, or nuzzling their parents – is their way of demonstrating how they feel, because they often can’t verbalise it.

“In this instance, it sounds like the child is using lots of non-verbal messaging and non-verbal clues,” says Fiona Yassin, family psychotherapist and founder and clinical director of The Wave Clinic.

“Children often cry or cling to a parent in this way because they feel unsafe. It could be the person reminds them of someone else who looks quite scary,” she says.

The therapist offers the example that if the person has a beard, it could be that the child associates them with a bearded villain they’ve seen on TV and will remember the negative emotions they felt when they saw said villain – so “seeing this person may trigger a similar response”.

Sometimes children might have a sensory reaction to a family member that isn’t necessarily positive. They might take a dislike to a different voice, accent, smell or even appearance: for example, if they wear glasses or keep their shoes on in the house.

“Although these appear to be very small points, children look out for tiny differences, which is something we call the Little Professor,” says Yassin. “The Little Professor in the child has the job of trying to work out what’s going to happen next.”

What can parents do about it?

You’re probably dreading your child seeing the family member they’ve taken a dislike to, but you’re going to have to try really hard to think positively and anticipate a good connection. Otherwise your little one might pick up on your anxiety – fuelling the negative reaction further.

Ahead of seeing them, it might be helpful to create and share a positive persona of the person the child dislikes.

“If you have family photographs with the person in, show them to your child and talk about what that person does, who they are, who their family is and what activities they like to do,” says Yassin.

This helps the child to understand more about who they are and squash the idea of them as a villain-type character.

It can also be helpful to have your little one’s security blanket or toy on hand, suggests Dr Ben-Ari, to offer comfort and familiarity.

If the child’s reaction to the person is very strong, allow someone else to hold them while you greet and welcome the person, adds the therapist. “Seeing you at ease, relaxed and happy, interacting with that person will send the signal to the baby that it is safe.”

“Seeing you at ease, relaxed and happy, interacting with that person will send the signal to the baby that it is safe.”

– Dr Kalanit Ben-Ari

One thing you definitely shouldn’t do is force your child onto the person – whether that be letting them hug, kiss or hold them, which can ultimately just make things worse.

Instead, encourage the adult to give space to the baby to reach out to them, suggests Dr Ben-Ari. “The adult can start making fun noises, point to or hold a toy, offer the baby’s favourite toy, speak calmly to the baby, and once the baby shows signs of interest, they can slowly get closer.”

It’s also important not to leave your child alone with them – regardless of whether they’ve just arrived or have been there a while.

“When the person the child dislikes enters the room, it’s better they are not left on the floor or on their own,” says Yassin. “Hold the child or sit on the floor with them so you are physically at the same level.”

She continues: “Parents mustn’t force cuddles or plead the child to be nice to the person they have taken a dislike to. Railroading the situation and trying to force a relationship will create bigger barriers. Do not leave the child alone with the person for any length of time and be gentle with introductions.”

If the family – including the person the child dislikes – is coming for Christmas, keep things as normal as possible, says the therapist. And remember: it probably won’t last forever. “This type of situation tends to be a very big deal for a short period of time,” she adds, “but does blow over.”

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‘I Pooped In A Secret Way’: 27 Funny Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up Life With Toddlers

Life with toddlers is a real rollercoaster – one moment they’re telling you they love you, the next they’re mooing at you as you step out of the shower.

Fast forward two hours and they’re prostrate on the floor, screaming at you because you wouldn’t let them lick your shoe.

While they can be pretty harsh sometimes – and totally unreasonable – their brutal honesty and innocent outlook on life often brings plenty of laughs to the table, too.

These tweets sum up just how chaotic life can be with young children – and while we do love a moan as parents, we also know we wouldn’t have it any other way.

1. Where did you hide the poo?!

2. My child loves me… but also pizza.

3. Today in questions you never thought you’d ask yourself: Why is there a car under my back?

4. Hi sweetie. Please stop licking mummy’s face.

5. This parent was probably quite relieved they didn’t get to see their toddler’s carol concert IRL.

6. When your toddler is mad because they can’t do something (that also happens to be impossible)…

7. Get this toddler on The Apprentice.

8. Out of the mouth of babes (and all that).

9. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. But with the word penis.

10. This two-year-old ran the dishwasher undetected and empty for an entire hour.

11. Imagine being demoted from Your Majesty to Mom Face. Cruel cruel world.

12. Does anyone else’s toddler run like this?

13. Another reason why toddlers get mad: they can’t eat raw food.

14. This toddler wanted to go and buy some more milk for boobies. Then things got a bit dark.

15. Why do all toddlers line up toys like this?

16. Who doesn’t love getting sick 17 times a month?

17. This toddler requested their pear is cut into rectangles and nobody has time for this.

18. Feelings = hurt.

19. When you find out the nation’s favourite coffee chain doesn’t sell books.

20. We’re just wondering why any parent would do this to themselves?

21. WFH and looking after toddlers is a real hoot (said no one ever).

22. This tweet is perfection.

23. Two going on… 42?

24. Admittedly they can be cute.

25. But then in the next breath they can be stone cold.

26. This toddler is going places. (Mainly the steakhouse next door.)

27. We’ll just leave this here…

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How To Get Your Kids To Eat Vegetables – And Actually *Gasp* Enjoy Them

Is there such thing as a child who likes vegetables? Yes, there is. But they’ll often need a helping hand in getting there.

This is why a leading baby food brand is urging the government to consider adding sensory food play to the curriculum for young kids attending nursery.

Ella’s Kitchen has launched a nationwide campaign calling on the UK government to take urgent action to improve early childhood nutrition by encouraging more sensory food play – where kids can explore fruit and vegetables in a fun, engaging way that stimulates the senses – in early years settings.

The brand said poor nutrition is having a “devastating impact” on the health of the nation’s children, but this simple, low-cost intervention could play a role in alleviating this.

More than a quarter of kids (29%) aged five to 10 years old eat fewer than one portion of fruit or veg a day.

Yet evidence shows that sensory food play helps to build confidence and curiosity around fruit and veg, which can create a willingness among kids to try, and ultimately like, them.

While talk of implementing this kind of scheme in nurseries rumbles on, parents can start fuelling a better reception to vegetables at home, too.

It’s difficult to get children to eat tveg – every parent knows this. But why is it such a chore? “Babies are born with immature bitter and sour taste buds,” says Sarah Almond Bushell, a registered dietitian and weaning expert at The Children’s Nutritionist.

In contrast, their sweet taste buds are “very mature”, she says, meaning kids will always gravitate towards sweet foods. “It’s an evolutionary thing as it helps newborn babies seek out the breast because breastmilk is very sweet.”

Bitter and sour flavours therefore have to be learned, so exposure is a must – and this is where parents have to put the work in. But you’ll reap the rewards once you do.

1. Serve vegetables at every meal and make sure they see you eating them

It can be all too easy to get into a bit of a mealtime rut at home. We buy the same-old vegetables every week to accompany those same-old meals, because we know our kids will eat them and they won’t end up in the bin.

This might be the easy option, but – argues the dietitian – it is not conducive to getting your child to like a wider range of veggies.

“Children can’t learn to like to eat vegetables without being regularly exposed to seeing them on the dining room table,” she says. “But what’s even more important is that they need to see you eating them too.”

Research suggests it can take up to 10 tries for a baby to readily accept some foods, like vegetables – so keep trying. And an exposure doesn’t necessarily mean them devouring a whole carrot stick, either. The act of touching, smelling and even seeing the food can be enough to ‘expose’ them to a food, according to nutritionist Charlotte Stirling-Reed.

2. Presentation is everything

A bit of wilted cabbage on the side of your toddler’s plate isn’t exactly inspiring, so it’s time to embrace your inner artist and get creative.

“All food must look attractive if you want your little one to be intrigued by them,” says Almond Bushell. “Vegetables come in a rainbow of colours and so are easy to make look appealing.

“Pre-school aged children are influenced by how food is presented so get creative by cutting veggies into funny shapes or arrange them in smiley faces.

“Older children will visually appreciate foods that are presented on sharing platters, coloured or patterned plates, or even simply serving veggies in cupcake cases can instantly lift their appeal.”

3. Make them tasty

If your veg selection looks stellar but tastes like wet socks, then you’ve got a problem on your hands. So yes, the next tip is that veggies quite simply need to taste nice.

“Steamed veggies may be better in the healthiness stakes, but they don’t hold much flavour for developing taste buds,” says Almond Bushell.

“I’d encourage you to sauté your green beans in garlic butter, toss asparagus in soy sauce [you can buy low salt versions], roast your parsnips in honey [if your child is over one].”

She adds: “You can make a fab marinade for most veggies with ketchup, maple syrup and soy sauce, even adding a little salt to broccoli or Brussels sprouts can make a world of difference – and yes, it’s ok.”

While it might sound a little controversial, her thinking is that while these foods will be slightly higher in salt and fat, it will encourage your child to like them at least – “after all, it doesn’t count as nutrition unless it’s eaten,” she adds.

“Once the veggies become an accepted part of their daily diet then you can work on reducing the salt, sugar and butter to improve the healthiness.”

4. Let kids serve themselves

It can be overwhelming for your child if you’ve decided to wave a stick of cucumber in their face or thrust it into their mouth. Why not, instead, focus on letting your kids serve themselves?

Family-style serving involves placing all components of the meal individually in serving dishes in the centre of the table, says Almond Bushell. Then, children as young as toddlers can help themselves or indicate to you what they want, how much they want and when to stop.

“This puts them in control of the food on their plate and ultimately what goes into their body,” she says. “If your little one doesn’t want to have a certain veggie on their plate, that’s OK.”

If you do find they’re averse to certain veggies, set up a ‘learning plate’ next to their dinner plate, she suggests. There are 32 different sensory steps that children go through when they’re learning how to eat and they do this for every single food – so a learning plate can help them navigate this process.

“The learning plate is simply for looking at, sniffing, prodding, poking, licking, chewing or spitting out on,” she explains.

“It’s there just for learning all about the sensory characteristics of the new food.

“Having a learning plate helps move them up the 32-step ladder as the new food is closer to them, they have to look at it, they can smell it, and touching it even with a fork or spoon is a huge step forward.”

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How I’ve Learned To Talk My 3-Year-Old Son Down From His Tantrums

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My Son Will Soon Need His Own Bed – And I’m Dreading It

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