No, Christmas Is Not The Time To Slide Into Your Ex’s DMs

It’s almost Christmas and work is finally winding down. Instead of using this time wisely to plan goals for next year or productively to wrap the presents under your tree, you’re doing what you do best: time-wasting on social media.

You scroll and scroll and – what’s this? – somehow you’ve made it onto your ex’s Instagram page (whoops!). It’s been a while since you last spoke so you think: let me just wish them an early merry Christmas. What’s the harm in that?

Because let’s face it, who hasn’t been contacted by an ex-partner or fling over the holiday season – or done a little festive messaging ourselves?

These dwindling days of the year are often a time for reflection and/or twiddling our thumbs. A time to think about the people you miss (or the ones you missed out on). And whether you’re single or in a relationship, it’s now we mull over who we really appreciate and want to keep in our lives. Or who we want back…

Chris*, 27, a product designer from Manchester received an interesting email just this Tuesday. The subject read “Hi Christopher.” It was his ex of a few years back reaching out to ask for forgiveness and apologise for past mistakes.

“I had forgiven her years ago so I was quite shocked when I saw the email,” Chris tells HuffPost UK. “She asked to meet up, but I replied and said this would be inappropriate. I think she’s still holding on to the past but I’ve moved on and hope she does the same.”

Sometimes the contact is not as chill. Savannah*, a 23-year-old doctor from London, only broke up with her partner at the start of 2022, but due to the nature of the relationship, it didn’t end on good terms.

Following their split, Savannah blocked the ex across several different platforms, but this didn’t stop him from trying to get in touch – and he recently attempted to contact Savannah through their joint Netflix account. She removed his profile, but he somehow logged back in and deleted her account entirely.

“He’s done that because he knows it’s the only way he can get through to me,” she says. “I would never want to get back to him again and he knows this, which is why he’s trying so hard.”

It’s not all unhappy endings, however. Laura*, a 29 year old writer from east London reached out to an ex-situationship fling last Christmas.

“We stopped dating a month before but, I really missed him so I texted him on Christmas morning. We live really close to each other so I wanted to press my luck to see if he would come and see me in the evening,” she tells HuffPost UK.

“Even though he didn’t visit me, we spent the whole day talking which felt nice and familiar. I have a small family so Christmas always feels a bit boring, I think I reached out to him so I could have some entertainment throughout the day.”

A few days later the former fling ended up visiting her. And spoiler alert: “We started dating again. So I guess you could say it worked,” she says.

Sliding into your ex’s DMs over Christmas ended up being a good move for Laura but is this really a time to be contacting past lovers?

Relationship and dating expert Christiana Maxion weighs in.

Why do people feel the need to message their exes during the Christmas holidays?

There’s usually a reason an ex tends to reach out during the holidays – and that reason might not necessarily be you, warns Maxion.

“It could be because they have ‘time’ on their hands whilst off work, stuck and bored within a family situation, or feeling nostalgic or maudlin,” she says.

“This will make them think about the potential for a new hook up or about a past love. They will then use any excuse to try and get back into your good graces. And they’re also hoping that the holiday cheer will erase bad memories and you’ll let them back in and engage with their contact.”

What if it’s you who gets the urge to message?

Maybe you’re like Laura and feel the pull to message someone you once dated? Maxion says it’s easy to remember the good times especially around Christmas, but an ex is usually an ex for a reason.

However, maybe your past relationship ended down to bad timing or a set of circumstances that have since changed.

Whoever makes the first contact again, Maxion advises asking yourself: “Do you still have feelings for this person? Are they [or you] trying to rekindle love or just seeking attention? Are they bored with family or actually interested in you?”

Being back home can conjuring up past feelings, she says, which can make you want to take a stroll down memory lane in other ways. “Let your answers inform you as to whether this is a truly good idea or not.” she recommends.

How should we respond if an ex reaches out to us?

“I would ignore an ex if you’re over them or in a new relationship. Silence speaks volumes!.” Maxion says. And if it feels like a sign to revisit things?

By all means, explore your feelings, “if you can be clear headed about it, disregarding the obvious ‘cheer’ and goodwill we fill ourselves with at Christmas.” But explore your motivations too, she adds.

“Make sure you ask yourself those questions – you’ll find your answer!”

* Surnames have been omitted to offer anonymity

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Elon Musk Begins Mass Layoffs At Twitter

Mass layoffs have begun at Twitter, where reports suggest upward of 50% of the social media site’s jobs ― roughly 3,700 ― could be eliminated.

Employees received a message on Thursday evening notifying them that layoffs were beginning, according to The New York Times. They were told not to come to the office on Friday.

Twitter employees began tweeting about their experiences as some said their access had already been cut off, probably as a precursor to being fired.

The drastic cuts coincide with other HR-focused directives, including plans to scrap the company’s work-from-anywhere policy, which affects some 1,500 employees. Those unwilling or unable to relocate to a physical office will likely contribute to the job loss totals.

There’s already been a lawsuit filed over the job cuts. In a suit seeking class-action status filed Thursday in San Francisco federal court, workers say Twitter is conducting the layoffs in violation of federal and California law by not giving enough notice, Bloomberg reported.

Friday marks the end of Elon Musk’s turbulent first week running Twitter, where the world’s richest man has embarked on a frantic mission to cut costs and find new revenue streams to keep the company afloat.

Soon after he took over, Twitter cut off access to some content moderation and policy enforcement tools, curtailing employees’ ability to moderate hate speech and misinformation, Bloomberg reports.

The early chaos has unsettled advertisers, with major brands pulling ads from the site while they await a more coherent vision for what, exactly, Musk envisions ― and how he intends to moderate the platform.

In a tweet on Friday amid the mass firings, Musk blamed “activist groups” for the mayhem and the corresponding “massive drop” in advertising, and attempted to portray advertisers as enemies of free speech.

Musk’s acquisition deal saddled Twitter with $13 billion in debt (and made Saudi Arabia the company’s second-largest investor). As a result, the company, which has never regularly turned a profit, will now have to pay about $1 billion a year in interest expenses alone.

So far, potential monetisation schemes have included charging users a monthly fee to be verified and allowing users to charge for video content, which would effectively set up Twitter as an OnlyFans competitor.

It’s unclear how much money either approach might actually generate. Indeed, if poorly executed, the latter option could prove quite costly.

And many users who are already verified have balked at being asked to pay for the blue check mark. While verification has come to be viewed as a status symbol on the platform, its original (and far more important) purpose was to cut down on rampant misinformation.

Author Stephen King summed it up succinctly in an exchange with Musk himself this week.

“$20 a month to keep my blue check?” King tweeted Monday to his 6.9 million followers. “Fuck that, they should pay me. If that gets instituted, I’m gone like Enron.”

“We need to pay the bills somehow!” Musk responded. “Twitter cannot rely entirely on advertisers. How about $8?”

Remarkably, Twitter employees told The Washington Post they haven’t heard from Musk or received any form of official communication from Twitter leadership since the deal closed on October 27 ― even after Musk fired many of Twitter’s top executives, including CEO Parag Agrawal and the rest of the C-suite.

Somewhere amid the madness of the week, Musk also found time to spread a false conspiracy theory on Twitter about the assassination attempt on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi that left her husband with severe injuries. He quietly deleted the tweet hours later.

Liza Hearon contributed to this article.

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People Are Muting Their Favourite Influencers. They Tell Us Why

Instagram and influencers – it’s difficult to imagine one without the other. I’ve happily followed fashion influencers on Instagram since I first downloaded the app in 2014. And there’s no doubt the limited representation of Black women in mainstream media made me feel connected to Black influencers specifically.

These were the people I ran to for makeup recommendations, to ogle their clothing choices and tap up their lifestyle content, from food to travel. I’ve kept up with everything my favourite influencers are wearing and buying for years.

That is, until the pandemic.

It was during lockdown when I started feeling less inclined to scroll influencer content. This was partly because my own life, like many others at the time, wasn’t where I wanted it to be. I was job-hunting, while freelancing through a pandemic. It was difficult and I wanted social media to be a form of escapism.

But the content I’d once found aspirational began to feel out of touch. Seeing people the same age as me buying things I couldn’t afford didn’t want to make me want to work harder – it made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

I knew the influencers weren’t really the problem, but I had to control how they were leaving me feeling. As someone who spends a lot of time on social media, it was up to me to decide which content I wanted to consume.

So I started to unfollow or mute some of their accounts.

Like me, Toju, a 21-year old student from Glasgow, also noticed a shift during the Covid lockdowns in how she felt about the influencers she followed.

These were the weeks and months when it was easy to think other people had more space, more time, were being more productive or having more fun than you, despite the challenges we were all facing. Remember when it seemed like every past Love Island contestant ever was in Dubai over Christmas 2021?

“During that time, a lot of influencers were travelling or just living very different lives to me,” she says. “I’ve also recently felt a shift again this year as more influencers have moved towards luxury or designer items in their content.”

More influencers that ever seem to be publishing elevated content, from showcasing their designer clothes and bags to eating out at expensive restaurants and generally living a life of luxury.

Of course, this content can be seen variously as aspirational or a form of escapism. It can also make you feel wholly inadequate in the here and now.

The cost of living crisis is playing out in real time. It’s hardly surprising Toju and many other social media users no longer feel inspired by influencer accounts.

“I can’t even be ‘influenced’ because these items are simply entirely out of my reach and budget, so I gain nothing but feelings of inadequacy from them,” she says.

“I’m seeing more things that would like to have but can’t afford on a daily basis, something I probably wouldn’t see if I wasn’t on social media.”

But the answer isn’t necessarily coming off social media entirely. It could just be changing who you do follow or which platforms you use and for what.

Data analyst, Hena J. Bryan, 25, a content creator herself, says that she’s put many of the influencers she used to follow on mute for over a year now.

“They just don’t align with a lot of the things I find important,” she says. “I think relatability, for me anyways, goes beyond finances, especially as I can afford the things they’re advertising. I want to discover more influencers who offer more than pretty pictures, and I’ve found a few who speak to my interests.”

Bryan creates content about the books she is reading and enjoys engaging with others doing the same. She adds: “I think people should curate their feed. You literally have to be militant and protect your digital footprint/experience.”

If you want to follow influencers, seek out those who genuinely speak to your interests.

SDI Productions via Getty Images

If you want to follow influencers, seek out those who genuinely speak to your interests.

It’s also worth being aware that how you engage with social media shifts over time. Akachi Priscilla Mbakwe, 32, a marketer from south London has lived online since her early teens. “I’ve been following influencers since I was on Tumblr,” she tells HuffPost UK. “People like Justine Skye who at the time were influencers, but the term wasn’t invented yet.”

When she was younger, Mbakwe says she followed people “for aspirational reasons”, and for their fashion and make-up content.

“I started to feel different in the pandemic especially during the resurgence of Black Lives Matter. I saw influencers uploading pictures of themselves whist the caption was about George Floyd – they just looked silly to me.”

There’s self-preservation at play here, too. “I started to unfollow influencers because I realised subconsciously that I was constantly comparing myself to them,” says Mbakwe. “Now I have such a better relationship with myself and how I look and I don’t want to compromise.

“I still look at them from time to time but not like I used to. Also, now I feel that most influencers make the same content. They’re all following the same formula. If you follow one it feels like you follow all of them.”

So, where does ultimate responsibility lie: with the followed or their followers?

Though the life of an influencer looks perfect, influencers themselves will tell you that sometimes it’s far from that. A lot of work goes on behind the scenes and many posters rely on rented or gifted products to project the image they do, some earning little more than the followers who aspire to their lifestyle.

“I don’t feel like influencers should change their content to suit us,” weighs in Mbakwe. “I think we (the consumers) should curate and have better boundaries with our feed if the content you’re viewing is making you feel bad.”

Bryan echoes this: “I believe we should all have social responsibility, but we shouldn’t have to force influencers to do/say things they don’t want to. You’re responsible for what you consume and I think TikTok has created a wave of new influencers who don’t lend themselves to perfectionism and are more relatable.”

With living costs only set to increase, it might be time for be more conscious about the content we choose to see. Arguably Influencers aren’t the ones to blame, just a byproduct of a capitalist society that rewards people for flaunting their wealth.

You have the power to choose who and what you engage with, so be honest about how your Instagram feed leaves you feeling – and make the changes you need.

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No, Curry Isn’t Cancelled. But Indian Food Is So Much More

Judging by the papers this week you’d think “the woke left” were trying to ban curry altogether.

That’s after two food bloggers questioned why many South Asian dishes are often categorised under the umbrella term “curry”.

Chaheti Bansal, a chef by hobby based in California, posted an Instagram video pointing out the colonial origins of the word.

The 29-year-old asked why foreigners label any South Asian food as curry, even though there is huge variety among food items.

“There’s a saying that the food in India changes every 100km and yet we’re still using this umbrella term popularised by white people who couldn’t be bothered to learn the actual names of our dishes,” said the blogger.

“But we can still unlearn.”

After Bansal’s video was shared on BuzzFeed Tasty’s Instagram channel, and viewed more than 3.6 million times, many criticised her sentiments, saying it stoked a “woke” colonialism row.

So how did the word curry come to be? According to historians, British officials misheard the Tamil word Kari (referring to side dishes), which then – due to power imbalances – became the norm among locals. Homogenising such varied dishes as sabzi, chawals and sambars simply as ‘curry’ is “rooted in white, Christian supremacy”, one historian told NBC news.

The message was echoed by another food influencer, Nisha Vedi Pawar, who said the diversity of South Asian items shouldn’t be lumped together.

Pawar, 36, from New Jersey spoke to HuffPost to explain the issue she and Bannsal are trying to raise awareness for, has been blown out of proportion.

Nisha Vedi Pawar aims to preserve Indian culture through her cooking

Nisha Vedi Pawar aims to preserve Indian culture through her cooking

“Every time we try and defend anything people say we’re being ‘too woke’ or ‘too sensitive’, she says.

“Curry is often assumed to be heavy, cream laden dishes. Contrary to popular belief, Indians do not eat curry every day, neither will you find curry powder stocked in Indian homes or grocery stores. Curry is a concept that Europeans imposed on India’s food culture. By labelling all Indian food curry we are giving a very broad, watered down version of our beautiful cuisine.“

Instead, Bansal and Pawar suggest learning the different names of all your favourite Indian dishes.

“It starts with all of us making the effort to learn and label the dishes as what they are. Methi murgh, raasedar paneer, dahi wale aloo. Let’s start using the actual names of our dishes,” says Pawar, who adds that when calls like this to decolonise food get taken out of their context, it only contributes to culture wars.

“Sensationalised headlines make it very difficult for creators of colour to share their thoughts with the world without getting judged or railroaded. When the media takes a few blurbs from someone’s opinion and spins it to their liking, it create more harm than good,” she tells HuffPost UK.

“My goal is to create my page and educate people that Indian food is more than curries. I want to see more people taking the time to learn the origins of our dishes.”

And the waiters will be suitably impressed if you order a shorshe murgi instead of a chicken curry.

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TikTokkers Are Exposing All The Lazy Ways Men Write Women

If you’re watching a film or TV show and see a young woman dressed all in black with a grungy hairstyle and a resting bitch face, be warned – she’s probably a feminist character written by a man.

Or perhaps there’s an impossibly attractive woman doing some cooking, alone, wearing just an oversized white T-shirt and socks, as she dances around the kitchen, using a whisk as a microphone.

Such is the single dimension of some women characters on screen and in fiction, often written by men. And TikTokkers are exposing the lazy writing.

Female creators on the video-sharing app are acting out all the unrealistic ways women are often characterised: sexy, seductive, clumsy, and whimsical, their looks and tics a cue to their inner soul.

Actor and content creator Caitlin Reilly was among the first to the trend, satirising how a woman in sci-fi films is often depicted: you know, the geeky scientist who probably wears glasses and keeps her hair in a tight ponytail, and is so dedicated to her work, she has no time for love or a social life.

Reilly’s breakout video, which includes such lines as “I’m a woman and a scientist, I can’t be both good at my job and nice”, has been watched more than a million times.

She has also mocked action movies for the way they paint women; helpless, emotional, forgetful. “I forgot the box of things that are very special to me, I have to go back”, and the hysterical mum shouting “please find my daughter,” are lines that have seriously tickled her Instagram followers, too.

Over on TikTok, the trend has blown up in recent days, soundtracked by Portishead, as young women ridicule the way they’re written into fiction in the most mundane scenarios, from having breakfast to going to sleep, from putting on their makeup to taking it off, from reading to dating to chewing gum.

In one clip, a woman experiencing a break-up sits wistfully, wearing just a top – many of these portrayals are trouser-less – as she licks ice cream seductively off a spoon. Ice cream is a big thing in the land of the male gaze, it seems.

In fact, many of these #writtenbymen clips are tagged #malegaze, spreading feminist theory about the problems with women being depicted from a masculine and heterosexual (indeed sexual) perspective to a new generation.

As well as drawing attention to sexism in screenwriting, some of the videos also touch on long-established and fetishising depictions of women of colour, of disabled women, and of trans women, as shown by creator AJClementine.

You’ll see what we mean when you check out others videos tagged into the trend. And while you’re watching them, please remember no woman in history has ever taken off her glasses to realise that she was beautiful all along.

She was “all that” already – without the nerd-to-hottie makeover by a man.

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Katie Price’s ‘Track A Troll’ Petition Is Getting Some Kick-Back. Here’s Why

LGBTQ+ people and human rights advocates are concerned a petition launched by Katie Price to end online anonymity may put vulnerable people’s lives at risk.

Price launched the petition alongside Conservative MP Andrew Griffith to call for action to be taken against online trolls, who have abused Price’s 18-year-old son Harvey.

In a statement posted on Instagram, Price wrote: “No troll should retain the right to hide behind their abusive malicious posts. I will not stop until every stone is unturned and all those are exposed and held accountable for their actions. This affects everyone in society including our children, Mother, Brother, Sister, family and friends alike, together we are all united in this petition. #TrackATroll.

As it stands, there are more than 140,000 signatories. Price’s petition asks for it to be made “a legal requirement, when opening a new social media account, to provide a verified form of ID. Where the account belongs to a person under the age of 18, verify the account with the ID of a parent/guardian, to prevent anonymised harmful activity, providing traceability if an offence occurs.”

However, it has prompted communities to speak out about why online anonymity is essential for some people, such as marginalised queer groups, who use platforms like Twitter and Instagram to find solidarity and community.

Since Price launched the campaign on March 10, the hashtag #SaveAnonymity has been widely shared on social media. Many individuals using the hashtag to express their concerns are doing so from anonymous accounts.

One post, which has more than 10,000 retweets, reads: “I’m practically begging you to RT – those under 18 in the UK will have to get their parents to verify their accounts with full ID. This will put so many teens in danger (LGBTQ+ youth, abuse victims, etc.)”

Another reads: “Please tweet the hashtag #SaveAnonymity! A petition is going to UK Parliament that would require everybody on the internet to provide full ID before making an account, and minors would have to use parents’ ID.”

It continued: “If this law gets passed, LGBT kids would be outed, people in dangerous situations lose opportunity to reach out for help anonymously, etc, so please, don’t just tweet the hashtag and nothing else (this would be counted as spam), include other words too.”

One person wrote that they were “ terrified” at the prospect of the proposal getting passed, while another tweeted: “My parents would kick me out for my preferred pronouns. Social media is my escape from homophobic family and school. Please don’t let them take it away from me and many others.”

The Open Rights Group, which promotes human rights online and has 44k followers, is also standing against Price’s campaign. Speaking to HuffPost UK, a spokesperson said: “Attacking anonymity is a short cut to making some LGBTQ people’s lives very difficult, among others.”

In a statement on Twitter, the ORG commented: “We stand with #SaveAnonymity – it is great to see young people stand up for the rights of #LGBTQ people to be anonymous online. This is how rights are defended and won – people standing up for their rights.”

In January, the Open Rights Group responded to the Lords Communications Committee enquiry into freedom of information online, claiming digital regulation is limiting freedom of expression.

Referencing the ongoing debate about online anonymity, the group said: “Psuedonymity is vital for marginalised individuals such as members of the LGBTQ community seeking to explore their identity safely without identifying themselves to everyone they know.”

Other voices expressing concern about Price’s campaign include Rob McDowall, rapporteur for Equality and Human Rights Scotland and chair of Welfare Scotland, who tweeted that he “absolutely could not” support the campaign, which would “put so many in danger especially LGBT+ people who aren’t out.”

McDowall also endorsed another tweet suggesting it should be platforms such as Twitter and Facebook that should be held accountable for any abuse posted.

Cyberbullying has risen under lockdown, according to the Office of National Statistics, whose recent data showed one in five schoolchildren had been at the receiving end of online bullying over the past year.

Price’s campaign to #TrackATroll has garnered backing from charities including Mencap, and charity founder Anna Kennedy OBE, who appointed Harvey one of her charity’s ambassadors.

Clarifying details of the petition on Monday, Katie Price told Victoria Derbyshire: “When we say ID, I could be called Princess Price on something when my name is Katie Price – it’s just a way of contact so you can be contacted. As long as you can be tracked. And if people don’t want to do that then they could be guilty of something.”

In response to the criticism of the campaign, a representative for Katie Price told HuffPost UK: “No one is being outed, or required to provide personal information – a trackable IP address is not asking for private data – only an address to the IP registrar; a registrar of IP address that is held on a data base by a governing body.

“This is yet all to be negotiated. In the instance [that] a complaint is raised, the IP can be tracked to an address and subsequently the source. Katie would not expose anyone other than trolls and those guilty of malicious online content who’s purpose is to directly harm and cause mental upset.”

Responding to Price’s rep, the Open Rights Group spokesperson added: “If [Katie Price’s] plan really is limited to keeping IP records, as her representatives say, then this already exists. The problems here are about enforcement of platform’s rules, of police being unwilling to act.

“We remain worried that calls to remove ‘anonymity’ would be used to justify removing or limiting anonymity and making social media much less safe for LGBT people – and others who wish to remain anonymous or unknown to their work colleagues, social circles of families for instance, from fear of abuse.”

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Who Is Accountable For Kemi Badenoch’s Public Attack On Our Journalist?

Some people call it “cancel culture”. Others call it accountability. Rightly or wrongly, your Twitter feed can get you in trouble at work, or worse. But we’ve now learned that members of our government are not held to the same standards as the rest of us.

It’s almost a month since Britain’s equalities minister posted an eight-tweet thread filled with false allegations about the conduct of HuffPost reporter Nadine White. Nadine had asked Kemi Badenoch, as one of parliament’s most senior Black MPs and the minister with the portfolio for race and inequality, why she hadn’t appeared in a video aimed at increasing uptake of the vaccine among Black people. She emailed the MP’s office, and the Treasury press team, where Badenoch also holds a ministerial role. Rather than respond via either of those channels, the minister fired off a Twitter tirade about how this routine press enquiry was a “sad insight into how some journalists operate”, describing it as “creepy and bizarre”. Nadine was forced to lock her Twitter account after she received abuse.

It took us a couple of hours to file a formal complaint with the Cabinet Office. It took them three and a half weeks to reply, but at last the government has seen fit to answer our complaint. 

Their letter is short and to the point. “I note that the tweets were not issued from a government Twitter account but instead from a personal Twitter account,” writes Cabinet Office permanent secretary Alex Chisholm. “The minister is personally responsible for deciding how to act and conduct herself, and for justifying her own actions and conduct. As such, this is a matter on which the minister would be best placed to offer a response.”

The ministerial code states that “ministers of the Crown are expected to maintain high standards of behaviour and to behave in a way that upholds the highest standards of propriety”. But not, it seems, on their ministerial Twitter accounts. 

We were not alone in mistakenly thinking that the minister’s verified Twitter account, in which she describes herself as “Treasury & Equalities Minister”, was in some way linked to her job

How stupid of us. It is cold comfort that we were not alone in mistakenly thinking that the minister’s verified Twitter account, in which she describes herself as “Treasury & Equalities Minister”, was in some way linked to her job. The National Union of Journalists called Badenoch’s original outburst about Nadine “frankly weird, completely out of order and an abuse of her privilege”. The Council of Europe’s Safety of Journalists Platform flagged the incident as a potential threat to media freedom under the European Convention on Human Rights. The European Centre for Press and Media Freedom, recorded the attack as a “violation of media freedom”. I wonder how many of Kemi Badenoch’s 40,000 followers are also under the impression that her Twitter account is a reflection of her professional role and work as an elected representative.

Also mistaken was No.10’s race adviser Samuel Kasumu, who was so upset about Kemi Badenoch’s behaviour that he handed in, but was then persuaded to withdraw, his resignation. Apparently unaware of that Kemi Badenoch’s official parliamentary Twitter account is only “personal”, he wrote: “I believe the Ministerial Code was breached. However, more concerning than the act was the lack of response internally. It was not OK or justifiable, but somehow nothing was said. I waited, and waited, for something from the senior leadership team to even point to an expected standard, but it did not materialise.”

Nadine is a reporter who has done crucial work for HuffPost UK on racial inequality in the UK, not least during the Covid pandemic. So it’s just as well that it was not in a ministerial capacity, but from her “personal Twitter account”, that the minister for equalities made a show of not understanding how news works. Had she only had her professional hat on, she might have remembered that journalists send literally hundreds of requests for comment every day to every institution in the UK in order to find out if a story is accurate. We don’t publish stories without doing this – indeed, no story was published in this case.

It is a little confusing that Kemi Badenoch published screenshots of messages sent to her professional address and the Treasury press office in a “personal” capacity. But it’s certainly a relief that, when she declared to her 39,000 followers that Nadine’s conduct was a “sad insight into how some journalists operate”, and accused HuffPost and Nadine of “looking to sow distrust”, she wasn’t speaking as a government minister – because these claims are not only unbecoming of a senior politician, but betray either an alarming ignorance of how the press fits into our democratic system or a cynical display of bad faith.

In the end, Kemi Badenoch broke her silence by contacting a journalist – not Nadine or anyone from HuffPost, but a reporter at her local paper, the Saffron Walden Reporter. In a statement, she repeated her defamatory allegations about Nadine, this time claiming we had “stoked” a “false story” on social media, claims that were withdrawn from publication when it was pointed out that there was no evidence for them.

This apparently did not trouble her ministerial employers in the Cabinet Office or No.10. Perhaps they might like to clarify whether someone is speaking in an official capacity when they begin a statement with the words “as Equalities Minister”. 

It is absurd to any reasonable person to suggest the words of a minister are somehow less accountable if they are written by them on Twitter than a press release, or were given in an interview.

So who is responsible for the actions of the government’s ministers, if not the government? The Cabinet Office was clear: “This is a matter on which the minister would be best placed to offer a response.” No.10 agreed, with the prime minister’s press secretary saying it was “a matter for Kemi Badenoch” –although she added: “That would not be how we in No.10 would deal with these things.” 

Kemi Badenoch’s office, however, does not agree that it her responsibility, telling Nadine this week: “She has nothing further to add beyond what is included in the letter sent earlier today from Alex Chisholm to your editor.” The same Alex Chisholm who made it very clear it was for her to respond.

This story is not just about a government machine that is out of touch with the realities of our digital lives. It is absurd to any reasonable person to suggest that the words of a minister are somehow less accountable if they are written by them on Twitter than if they appeared in a press release, or were given in an interview. If any member of the public were to tweet out emails sent to their work address, accompanied by a slew of false allegations, they would expect a swift call from HR. Indeed, someone might like to tell transport secretary Grant Shapps, who formally announces weekly updates to the government’s travel and quarantine policies through his own Twitter account, whose handle he literally read out in Parliament. 

The ministerial code, which the government concluded Kemi Badenoch had not breached with her public attack on a journalist doing her job, is built around the loftily-titled Seven Principles of Public Life. Hopefully ministers are asked to read it when they enter office. “Accountability,” reads one principle. “Holders of public office are accountable for their decisions and actions and must submit themselves to whatever scrutiny necessary to ensure this.”

We’re a long way from David Cameron’s famously cringeworthy comment that “too many tweets might make a twat” – ministers of Kemi Badenoch’s generation are all too aware of how useful a platform Twitter is for their political and personal profile. But where they are rightly accountable for their conduct as elected representatives elsewhere in their lives, this effectively allows them impunity online.

The Cabinet Office themselves “noted” to us in their response that “the prime minister’s press secretary has already provided comments on this matter”, suggesting a tacit endorsement of their belief that this is not how a minister should behave. But both institutions apparently felt it was not their place to get involved.

Like a parent banning their teenager’s laptop but leaving them with a phone, Whitehall feels dangerously out of touch in providing such an obvious loophole. Remember next time you see a prospective candidate or councillor cancelled online for tweets they sent at university – our government ministers are allowed to say whatever they like.

Jess Brammar is editor-in-chief of HuffPost UK. Follow her on Twitter @jessbrammar

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