Raheem Bailey GoFundMe Reaches £100k After Schoolboy Loses Finger Fleeing Bullies

Raheem Bailey is a name you would have seen all over your social feeds over the weekend. Devastatingly, the 11-year-old had a finger amputated after he suffered an injury trying to flee bullies at school.

The young Black student was attacked, beaten and pushed to the ground in his school in Abertillery, Wales, based on racist bullying, said his mother Shantal.

Doctors worked six hours to save Raheem’s fingers but ultimately could not save it.

Since she shared the news, the story has gained worldwide attention, with the likes of Anthony Joshua, Jadon Sancho and US basketball player Gerald Green speaking out.

The mum also started a GoFundMe page with the intention of raising £10k for Raheem’s medical costs, including a prosthetic finger. But since the story broke out, donations have poured in, far exceeding the family’s expectations.

Currently, the donations stand at £101,847.

Shantal Bailey wrote on the donations page: “Raheem has faced racial and physical abuse, as well as more generic bullying about his height and other things, since he started secondary school in September 2021.”

Though she had been aware of some comments, she was not aware of the extent of her son’s bullying, she said.

“Raheem was attacked by a group of children and beaten (mainly kicked) after being pushed to the ground. Consequently, Raheem made a desperate attempt to leave the school grounds in order to escape the situation.

“Whilst climbing the fence, his finger got caught and attached to it, causing the skin to strip and the finger to break in half it.”

The mother said she had contacted the school about the incident and was assured it would be dealt with.

The school, Abertillery Learning Community, announced yesterday that it would be closed today as it work with police to investigate the issue.

In a statement issued on Sunday, Blaenau Gwent County Borough Council said that all campuses would be closed on Monday, saying: “Abertillery Learning Community is working with Gwent Police in relation to an ongoing investigation into an alleged assault on the secondary campus.

“All campuses at Abertillery Learning Community will be closed tomorrow on health and safety grounds.

“Learners will access blended learning for Monday, 23rd May. The safety and well-being of learners and staff remains of paramount importance to the Learning Community and the Local Authority at all times.”

Share Button

How Soon Is Too Soon To Become Attached To Your New Partner’s Children?

For parents dating again, figuring out when to introduce a new partner to your kids is a tricky calculus: How many months should you wait? Does the relationship feel stable and safe enough to take that step? Is your child emotionally ready to meet someone new since you split from your co-parent? What will your ex say?

The stress doesn’t end there; once the introductions have been made, you need to check in with your kids to make sure it’s all not too much, too fast, and that they’re comfortable around your new partner.

This common post-divorce dilemma has played out on a very public stage in recent months, since reality star Kim Kardashian has started dating Saturday Night Livekim comedian Pete Davidson.

Things seem to be going swimmingly for the new couple, but Kardashian’s ex, Kanye West, has expressed concern about Davidson’s relationship with his kids. (At one point West even dramatically wrote, “NO YOU WILL NEVER MEET MY CHILDREN” on an Instagram post.)

Still, photos taken recently show that Davidson has met the couple’s kids. And earlier this month, another photo popped up showing what appears to be a new tattoo for the comedian: The ink reads KNSCP, letters many fans believe stand for Kardashian’s four children with West: North, Saint, Chicago, and Psalm.

If the tattoo is real – and Davidson does have a history of getting tattoos for the women in his life, including a branding in dedication to Kardashian – it’s a showy display of commitment on his part.

Family therapists we spoke to wondered just how committed a person could be after roughly six months of dating.

“The tattoo seems more like evidence of his impulsivity rather than his genuine attachment to his girlfriend’s kids, which he could not possibly have in any substantive way after only six months,” says Virginia Gilbert, a Los Angeles-based therapist specialising in high-conflict divorce.

“I think six months is too soon to meet her kids, especially with an in-process messy divorce and Kanye being so opposed to the meeting, but everything Kim does is in the public eye, it would have been hard to keep Pete a secret, so the question is probably moot,” she added.

Kurt Smith, a family therapist in Roseville, California, who mostly works with men, says that the desire to connect deeper with your significant other by showing interest in their kids is understandable.

Ultimately, though, new partners need to recognise that it’s a delicate dance ― one that usually requires a healthy distance.

“Pete should be asking himself why that was so important for him to do at this stage of the relationship,” he says.

Since this co-parenting quandary is top of mind for many right now, we decided to ask family therapists and other experts on blended families to share the advice they’d give to parents newly dating again like Kardashian. Here’s what they say.

First off, when should introductions be made?

For divorced parents, when to introduce and involve a new partner in children’s lives is a complex question, with no “one size fits all” answer.

For some people, six months is enough; for others, a slower approach might be necessary, says Dawn O. Braithwaite, a professor of communication studies at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.

Braithwaite has spent her career studying how families interact to create, navigate and change relationships, routines and traditions, especially in stepfamilies and chosen families.

According to her, parents need to consider the following six things before making introductions:

  • What they believe will be the future of their new relationship

  • The age of the children

  • How long it’s been since the separation or divorce

  • How well children have adjusted to changes in their family situation

  • The relationship with the co-parent

  • The interest the new partner has in meeting the kids

“While there are exceptions, most scholars have found that new partners can play a positive role in children’s lives, but that they should go slow and act as a friend for children rather than overstepping and acting in ways that are confusing or inappropriate for children,” the professor says.

“While there are exceptions, most scholars have found that new partners can play a positive role in children’s lives, but that they should go slow and act as a friend for children," said Dawn O. Braithwaite, a professor at University of Nebraska-Lincoln who studies stepfamilies.

Johnny Greig via Getty Images

“While there are exceptions, most scholars have found that new partners can play a positive role in children’s lives, but that they should go slow and act as a friend for children,” said Dawn O. Braithwaite, a professor at University of Nebraska-Lincoln who studies stepfamilies.

Meetups should be casual at first

To avoid coming on too strong or overstepping boundaries, keep those early getting-to-know-you meetups as casual as possible: Arrange a park date or meet up for a Marvel movie and pizza.

“The onus needs to be on the new partner to meet the kids where they are ― meaning you need to participate in the kinds of things they like to do,” Gilbert says. “I would also suggest postponing adult sleepovers until the kids become comfortable with the new partner.”

Remember that your relationship is not with your partner’s kids — it’s with your partner only

If you’re the parent, reinforce that you’re not a package deal – not yet, anyway.

“Maintaining this boundary is important for both partners, the health of the new relationship, and, most importantly, for the kids’ health,” Smith says.

Move too quickly and you could quickly incur the annoyance of the kids ― and the potential ire of the other parent.

“I’ve counselled divorcing parents where his new girlfriend posted pics on social media of his kids at a birthday party like they were her own and believe me, it did not go over well with the other parent,” Smith says.

“It’s hard enough bringing in new partners and blending families, so avoiding anything that could cause tension or conflict should be avoided,” he explained.

Be comfortable being an outsider for a while.

Kids in situations like this are usually grappling with competing, confusing concerns, says Amy Begel, a family therapist in private practice in New York City and author of the blog Most Human: “Will they betray their father if they have a relationship with this new guy? Will they betray their mother if they are loyal to their father and want to protect his feelings?”

That’s why it’s important to take a backseat for a bit if you’re the new partner. It may feel like a blow to the ego to be treated as marginal, or worse, an intruder, but patience during this process is crucial, Begel says.

As Jenna Korf, a stepmom and founder of StepmomHelp.com, previously told HuffPost, you’re an outsider joining an already-formed family – even if your partner and their kids eventually move into your home.

“A lot of this is unintentional, but kids automatically go to their parent,” she says. “You might be sitting right next to your partner and they won’t address you, often leaving you out of the conversation.”

If you’re the new partner, take the approach of a new friend or neighbour, not an automatic stepparent.

New partners should try to befriend the kids, but move at a pace determined by the kids, says Ron Deal, the founder of SmartStepfamilies.com and author of a number of popular books on blended families.

“In my book with Dr. Gary Chapman, Building Love Together in Blended Families, I tell stepparents it’s like making friends with a new neighbour,” Deal says. “You don’t just push your way into their house and tell them you’re their new BFF. That makes enemies.”

Instead, the stepdad and author advised, you knock and wait patiently on the doorstep.

“You may even have to talk to them through the door for a while until you find a few things you have in common. Only when they open it can you begin to connect face to face,” Deal says. “Slowly, over time, a friendship is made that stands on its own terms.”

Meeting for the first time? Keep it casual. Think: The new Marvel movie on Disney+ and pizza at home where you get a chance to talk and get to know each other.

mixetto via Getty Images

Meeting for the first time? Keep it casual. Think: The new Marvel movie on Disney+ and pizza at home where you get a chance to talk and get to know each other.

Avoid “erase and replace” messages if you’re the new partner

According to Deal, exaggerated gestures like Davidson’s tattoos send the wrong message to kids. The goal for new partners is to come across as additive rather than substitutive. The kids should feel like they’re potentially adding to the family, not getting a substitute dad or mum.

“Pete’s tattoo may sound romantic – that’s the kind of thing people do to win the affections of their dating partner – but to the children it declares, ‘You’re mine.’” Deal says. “Someone might say, but isn’t that great as well? Not necessarily to a child. In their world, it may seem like Pete is trying to ‘erase and replace’ their father.”

A child’s loyalty lies, understandably, with their biological parent, not the new stepparent. A message like that threatens their relationship with their father “may partially explain Kanye’s strong reaction and only escalates the battle between the parents,” Deal tells HuffPost.

“Here’s my rule of thumb: a new partner who tries to erase and replace a biological parent is, in fact, going to be erased and replaced themselves,” he says.

"As a general rule, it takes at least two years before a new partner can assume a traditional parenting role," said Virginia Gilbert, an LA-based therapist specializing in high-conflict divorce.

FatCamera via Getty Images

“As a general rule, it takes at least two years before a new partner can assume a traditional parenting role,” said Virginia Gilbert, an LA-based therapist specializing in high-conflict divorce.

Most kids with newly divorced parents are dealing with abandonment issues; don’t add to them

It’s awful for a child to get attached to a new partner who then disappears from their lives. If your partner is coming on too strong with the kids, Gilbert says to acknowledge that this is a tough transition for everyone and tell them you really appreciate their efforts.

Then, shift the conversation: Try to encourage them to see things from the kids’ perspective: Among other things, your kids may be feeling extra loyal to your ex or they may be experiencing grief that their parents are no longer together. They may not want to share you with a new person and they may not want someone to have control over changes in their lives.

“Your new partner needs to understand how overwhelming your relationship might feel to the kids and that their ambivalence is not about them,” Gilbert says. “If the issue is creating conflict between you and your new partner, consider seeing a therapist who can help you both make child-centred decisions.”

The big takeaway here, though, is to take things slow: “As a general rule, it takes at least two years before a new partner can assume any sort of traditional parenting role,” Gilbert says.

Share Button

Priyanka Chopra And Nick Jonas Share First Photo Of Baby Daughter After Spending 100 Days In Intensive Care

Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas have shared the first photo of their baby daughter, Malti Marie, after she spent the first few months of her life in a neonatal intensive care unit.

Priyanka said it had been a “challenging few months” in an Instagram post shared by the Quantico actor on Mother’s Day.

“On this Mother’s Day we can’t help but reflect on these last few months and the rollercoaster we’ve been on, which we now know, so many people have also experienced,” she captioned the picture.

“After 100 plus days in the NICU, our little girl is finally home.

“Every family’s journey is unique and requires a certain level of faith, and while ours was a challenging few months, what becomes abundantly clear, in retrospect, is how precious and perfect every moment is.”

In the photo, Priyanka holds Malti against her chest as her singer husband holds the baby’s hand.

“Our next chapter begins now, and our baby is truly a badass. Let’s get it MM! Mommy and Daddy love you,” she wrote.

“Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and caretakers in my life and out there. You make it look so easy. Thank you.”

She added: “Also.. there is no one I’d rather do this with than you. Thank you for making me a mama @nickjonas I love you.”

The couple also took the opportunity to thank the doctors and nurses at Rady Children’s Hospital, La Jolla and Cedars-Sinai, Los Angeles, for their care and support.

The couple, who married in 2018, confirmed in April that they had named their first child Malti Marie Chopra Jonas.

“We are overjoyed to confirm that we have welcomed a baby via surrogate,” the couple said in January. “We respectfully ask for privacy during this special time as we focus on our family. Thank you so much.”

Share Button

These Photos Show The Unique Bonds Between Black Mothers And Their Sons

I’ve always found it endearing the way men pay homage to the mothers and matriarchs in their lives. We love songs like Tupac’s Dear Mama” and Bill Withers’ “Grandma’s Hands.” We witness the robust relationship between Kanye West and his late mother, Donda, who was undoubtedly his biggest fan, in the documentary Jeen-Yuhs: A Kanye Trilogy. We heard the gut-wrenching cries of George Floyd calling out for his mother moments before his death in 2020.

Black motherhood has often been centered in the analysis of the Black family — and for Black men, the maternal connection is vital, political and liberating. These affirmations are dedicated to women whose labor and love are far-reaching and priceless. The vocal appreciation is always welcomed, especially when the work of mothers has often been overlooked.

“My mother is a force of nature. If she wants to get something done, it’s getting done. I think that’s been pretty evident in the course of her journey,” said Sulaiman Rashid, a 20-year-old college student in Washington, DC, whose mother raised four kids. “My siblings and I have different career paths, but we are all grounded in the desire to create change, and that stems from my mom’s passion to help and to serve others and to aid in the betterment of the world.”

I wanted to explore the relationships between sons and their mothers. In this series of portraits, I photographed families and asked the sons to share some perspectives of the role their mothers had in their lives. From guidance on love, career and education to artistic inspiration and global travel, we see an expansive view of the strong bonds between Black sons and their mothers.

Diane Redfern

Sons: Christopher and Charles Tarpley

Laylah Amatullah Barrayn

My mother, commonly known as Lady D, is a resilient and confident mother. She has a jazzy personality and is a strong woman of faith. She raised my brother and I to become the gentlemen we are today. – Charles

My mother’s favourite saying is “I’m gonna tell you what God loves … the truth.” This is what I admire about my mother the most, her love of God. She has such a strong will to never give up no matter how tough things may be raising twins. – Chris

Tamara Redfern

Sons: Yaseen Ellison and Mujahid Ellison

Laylah Amatullah Barrayn

My mother has always been a source of light in my life. Across time and space – from my earliest memories in the US to years later and continents away – this has rung true. The continuum of joy and love surrounding my mother could not be summarised by a discrete moment. How would I describe my mother, who first showed me the magic and vibrancy of life? Who taught me firm confidence in my ability to grow, adapt, achieve and inspire?

I realise I don’t have to isolate any single experience to highlight who she is when everyone who encounters her is liberated by her grace and kindness, and when all spaces she walks through are automatically elevated by her presence. It is no wonder Allah says heaven lies at the feet of the mothers. I love you, Mom. – Yaseen

When I think of my mother, my thoughts often associate her with the moon. Her radiant, smiling face is akin to the light of the moon on a clear night sky. Her sound judgment and listening ear have served as a therapy to the many problems I’ve come to her with over the years. Her belief and willingness to lend a helping hand to me, unwavering, in times when I felt all was lost. Time after time, failure after failure, my mother has always been by my side. The best person to have around when sharing good news, as her pure, bona fide joy for you can be experienced by anyone who has interacted with her. The funny thing is my mother has taught me virtually everything I need to survive and thrive on my own, but hates it when I’m not around. There’s no better feeling than being capable of being alone but still having someone who never wants you to be alone. She’s my light and my guidance; my mother is my moon. I love you, Mom. – Mujahid

Aisha Hassan

Son: Bilal Hassan

Laylah Amatullah Barrayn

Ummi is very special to me; she means the world to me. She is my friend, travel buddy and confidant. I love being around her. She raised me into the young man that I am today. She is generous, caring, loving and not afraid to speak her mind. She was literally my first teacher. I was homeschooled from kindergarten to sixth grade by her and my father, who has since passed away. Back then, we didn’t have all of the home-schooling resources that exist today. Now, homeschooling is this big thing with programmes that you can do online. She created an amazing curriculum for us. She was extremely resourceful in making sure that we had an optimal learning experience. We did so much with very little. We had so much fun on our extended learning library trips. She is a genius. I could never repay her for how much she has poured into me. – Bilal

Jamilah Rashid

Son: Sulaiman Rashid

Laylah Amatullah Barrayn

My mother is a force of nature. If she wants to get something done, it’s getting done. I think that’s been pretty evident in the course of her journey. My siblings and I have different career paths, but we are all grounded in the desire to create change, and that stems from my mom’s passion to help and to serve others and to aid in the betterment of the world. I love her because she gave that to me. I can’t describe all the ways and reasons why I love her. As I grow into a man, I hope that my need for her doesn’t wane or fade. When I was younger, I needed her to read me bedtime stories, and what I need from her now is guidance in selecting a companion and partner. She did a really great job, and I’d be very blessed to find someone like her. I’m grateful to her every single day for who she is as a mother, wife and a person. – Sulaiman

Adama Delphine Fawundu

Sons: Amal Buford, Kofi Buford and Che Buford (not pictured)

Laylah Amatullah Barrayn

My mom set the standard and laid the foundation. She’s always been so driven and always accomplishes what she sets her mind to. There are so many roles that a mother can fulfil: a provider, a protector, a friend, an inspiration. She does it all. Some of my most fond memories are of us getting up really early and riding the subway to school. Even though it was the crowded subway, it felt like just us; it was so warm. We would have some of the best conversations. We would talk about anything and everything. We would read together; we would do math problems together. I love thinking about those times. It makes me nostalgic. You don’t realise how important that is, and I don’t ever want to take that for granted. It’s never been a question as to whether my brothers and I were her priority. She would drop us off and then have to go work her own job. It’s a job within a job. I’m older and I live on my own; I’m independent, but my mother is still my biggest inspiration. – Amal

My mother introduced me to so much. The knowledge and experiences that she imparted on me shattered the limitations that would otherwise be present in my life. It’s the reason why my creativity flourishes. We’ve traveled together. She took me to Sierra Leone, New Orleans, Phoenix, so many places. When we travel, we have fun, but we also learn about the land, the monuments, the historical connections. Our travels showed me the beauty of different cultures and that there are many ways of living. I love my mother. She always supported me. – Kofi

Karen D. Taylor

Sons: Chenzira Taylor Lewis and Siyaka Taylor Lewis

Laylah Amatullah Barrayn

I have always been enamoured by my mother’s unadulterated focus and ability to create as an artist. It’s always helped me to see her not only as a mum, but also as an artist and creative in her own right. And it’s been inspiring to see her flourish throughout my life in her different creative identities. She always encouraged my autonomy and inquisitiveness and aided my creative spirit. Her determination demonstrated that my dreams and creative endeavours are attainable. ― Chenzira

I see my mother as a community pillar, a preservationist of Blackness and Black culture and Black excellence. She is a preserver of the relic, an educator, a nurturer, a policer of integrity. I love the uniqueness of who she is, her quirks, her silliness, her strength and intelligence. She is very New York to the core; she is an intellectual, a scholar with the grit of the jazz nightlife scene. Most definitely a music snob, jazz and blues head, creatively impulsive, loving, laid back and full of big laughs. At the core, she is serene. She is literally the perfect yin and yang of creativity and strong love. – Siyaka

Share Button

What To Do If You Don’t Like Your Kid’s Friend

It’s an issue many parents will run into at one point or another: Your kid is hanging out with someone you’re not crazy about.

You might think this friend is a bad influence because of the language they use, the way they treat other kids or speak to adults, or their attitude toward school. Maybe this friend has been mean, controlling or otherwise inconsiderate toward your child.

Whatever the reason, it can be a tricky issue to navigate. Below, parenting experts offer advice on how to handle the situation.

Do some self-reflection.

First, take a little time to consider what exactly is rubbing you the wrong way about this friendship. Are your feelings warranted – or is it possible you’re bringing your own baggage to the table?

“Do you dislike the child because of your personal values, prejudice or opinion?” Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and author of The Me, Me, Me Epidemic, told HuffPost. “Your child may be benefitting from this friendship or have more in common with the child than you may realise — even if you wouldn’t choose this friend for yourself.”

Or perhaps your feelings toward this friend are misplaced. You think you don’t like the kid when really, it’s the parents you have an issue with.

“In today’s charged political and social climate, parents can be faced with interacting with families that don’t align with their views,” clinical psychologist Cindy T. Graham — founder of Brighter Hope Wellness Center — told HuffPost.

Ask your kid about the friendship

Put aside your preconceived notions for a moment and have a conversation with your kid about this friend. Ask why they like hanging out with them and what they enjoy doing together. Be curious and listen to what they have to say. This requires an open heart and mind, Graham said.

“Aside from being a great opportunity to connect with your child, it gives you the chance to learn about aspects of the friend’s personality, demeanour or circumstances that you may not have previously been aware of,” she said.

“For example, sometimes kids can present as immature or standoffish when under stressful situations,” Graham continued. “Moments that trigger anxiety ― such as meeting unfamiliar adults ― can lead to behaviours that may be perceived as disrespectful.”

Try also putting yourself in the kid’s shoes. Think about the struggles they — or their family — might be facing that could be affecting their behaviour.

“Take into consideration what they may be going through or have gone through,” McCready said. “Your own kid or family may be just what this child needs!”

Get to know the friend and their parents better

Spend some time with the friend and their family — it might show you a different side of them. Go into the experience hoping to see what your child sees in them.

“It’s also helpful for the parent to be willing to get to know the family on a few different occasions,” Graham said. “This will give everyone a greater chance of getting past the initial anxieties of making a good first impression to instead get to know one another.”

Judge the behaviour, not the person

If the friend in question does something you don’t like, it’s OK to tell your child that their behaviour concerned you. But resist making accusations or assumptions about the friend’s character because of it.

“You can comment on a friend’s behaviour that you disapprove of and help your child problem-solve why that behaviour may be something they shouldn’t mimic,” McCready said. “The bottom line: Judge the behaviour, not the person.”

“Friendships that are less-than-ideal aren’t necessarily a recipe for disaster or a path to trouble.”

– Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions

If you think the friendship is a danger to your child, step in

There’s a difference between not being particularly fond of your kid’s friend and feeling like this person could be a true threat to your child’s safety or well-being. If it’s the latter case, you should intervene immediately, McCready said.

“If you’re concerned, set limits – without prohibiting the friendship,” she said. “Keep a close eye on behaviours and offer your home as a hang-out spot to keep your eye on the kids, or set an earlier curfew when your child is hanging out with that friend.”

Look out for negative changes in your child’s behaviour that could indicate the friendship is an unhealthy one. For your child, that might mean a worsening mood, a sudden change in their grades or withdrawing from activities they once enjoyed.

If you notice any of these signs, “then parents would want to look into the social dynamics with the friend more closely,” Graham said.

Talk about what it means to be a good friend.

Use this situation as an opportunity to have conversations about what healthy friendships look and feel like. Discuss important qualities like trust, respect and standing up for one another.

“Highlight the differences in how you feel in a healthy friendship – inspired, accepted, safe, encouraged, hopeful, versus the emotions that come from unhealthy, toxic relationships – feeling anxious, disrespected, put out, pressured to do things you don’t want to do, or like you’re constantly in competition with your friend,” McCready said.

Try to remember what it was like to be a kid yourself

It’s normal for kids and teens to go through different phases as they try to figure out who they are.

“Many kids who may have seemingly off-putting personalities are going through a phase that many of us go through,” Graham said.

Consider this: When you were younger, perhaps you weren’t always the kind of kid your friends’ parents were thrilled about, either. Keeping that in mind “could help you to be more kind towards your kids’ friends,” Graham said.

Also, remember that your kids are growing up in a different time than you did.

“Often what was once considered unacceptable can change over time,” Graham added.

Keep things in perspective

Friends come in and out of our kids’ lives. Just because these two are buddy-buddy right now doesn’t mean they’re going to be inseparable forever (even if it feels that way).

“Understand that these may not be your child’s friends for life and statistically, they probably won’t be,” McCready said. “According to a study, only one percent of friendships formed in middle school are still going strong by the 12th grade.”

Agree to disagree

It’s a fact of life: you’re not going to like everyone your kid is friends with, and that’s OK. Sometimes an “agree to disagree” approach is the best thing for the health of your relationship with your child. (As McCready pointed out, trying to forbid the friendship could create a power struggle between you and your child — one that could push them away from you and closer to this friend.)

“There is a lot to be said for social relationships that allow a child to thrive and feel supported,” Graham said. “As long as the friend isn’t having a detrimental effect on your child, it may be best to accept that you may not always like your child’s choices, including their friendships.”

And remember: Even not-great friendships can turn out to be positive learning experiences for your kid. For example, it may help them figure out which qualities they value in a friend or teach them how to set and hold boundaries.

“Friendships that are less-than-ideal aren’t necessarily a recipe for disaster or a path to trouble,” McCready said. “With your open mind and willingness to offer counsel, your kids will navigate friendships with the proper support.”

This is part of a HuffPost Parents series called Enjoy the Ride. Read more here.

Share Button

When Is Wayfair’s Way Day Sale And What Are The Best Deals?

​​We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, HuffPost UK may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

So, you pride yourself on being a savvy shopper when it comes to deals and discounts. You’re a Prime Day pro, you can bosh Black Friday, and you’re all over the hidden savings to be found in Ebay’s refurbished section.

But you’re missing a trick if you’re not also mining Way Day – Wayfair’s annual 48-hour sale, a great time to nab some big savings on even bigger ticket items for your home and garden.

When Is Way Day 2022?

Wayfair’s biggest sale of the year is actually a two-day affair, running from 12am the morning of Wednesday April 27 through to midnight on Thursday April 28.

That adds up to 48 hours of discounts on a huge range of items across Wayfair.co.uk, with free delivery on orders over £40 to most UK addresses.

What are the best Way Day deals?

Way Day is a great time to pick up those tick list items you’ve been wanting for your home and garden, whether that’s kitting out your bedroom, sitting room, home office, nursery or outdoor space. And there’s also a wealth of soft furnishings and accessories to be snapped up on site.

Among this year’s deals, the home retailer is selling beds for at little as £99.99, garden furniture sets under £200, and sofas for a bargainous £249.99. The discounts have even started early with 70% already off some items.

Categories on sale will include:

We’ll be rounding up the best savings to be made on home and outdoor ware in this year’s sale right here on HuffPost Shopping as Way Day progresses.

Stay tuned as we update our shopping guides on this page and you can also sign up for alerts on a range of homeware categories on the Wayfair site.

Share Button

The Most Important Phrases You Should Teach Your Kid From A Young Age

As parents, we want to raise good kids — ones who are curious, confident, empathetic, resilient and respectful.

What we say to (or in front of) our children, the way we say it and the behavior we model help shape the people they’ll become.

We asked experts to share some of the most important phrases we can teach our kids from a young age. Many of them are simple yet make a “surprisingly big impact on children’s abilities to thrive,” said educational psychologist Michele Borba, author of “Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine.”

1. “There’s no such thing as a stupid question.”

Little kids love asking questions — sometimes nonstop from the moment they open their eyes in the morning to the time their head hits the pillow at night. All that curiosity is great, but it can also be exhausting for parents and caregivers.

“Sometimes we inadvertently deflect our children’s curiosity because it can be overwhelming,” psychotherapist Mercedes Samudio, author of “Shame-Proof Parenting,” told HuffPost. “But teaching our children that there is nothing wrong with being curious and even teaching them how to seek out answers from others can be a helpful trait to cultivate in children from a young age.”

Encouraging their inquisitiveness and helping them feel confident enough to speak up when they’re unsure about something will serve them well for years to come.

2. “I got this!”

We want our kids to adopt a “growth mindset,” a term coined by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, which describes the belief that talent can be developed with hard work, determination and help from others. Those with a fixed mindset, however, believe their intelligence and skills are innate and therefore unlikely to be improved upon.

“When kids (or adults) are in a fixed mindset, difficulty makes them feel inadequate — their fixed ability feels deficient — and their confidence becomes shaky,” Dweck told Stanford News. “But when they are in a growth mindset, difficulty is a natural part of learning, so they are more likely to take it in stride and find new strategies that work better.”

Phrases like “I got this!” can help kids feel more confident as they attempt new and difficult things.

Maskot via Getty Images

Phrases like “I got this!” can help kids feel more confident as they attempt new and difficult things.

Borba recommends encouraging your child to use phrases like “I got this” or “I can do this” to bolster their belief in themselves when challenges arise.

“Our children must develop growth mindsets — a sense of personal efficacy or agency — especially in today’s uncertain world,” she said. “Resilient children are tenacious — they don’t stop! And they don’t wait to be rescued.”

3. “Hi, my name is X. What’s yours?”

Between schools being closed and many activities and events being canceled, the coronavirus pandemic limited kids’ opportunities to socialize with their peers. Now that things are opening up again, we can encourage kids to get back out there and introduce themselves to new people and, hey, maybe even make a new friend.

“Two years of physical distancing has caused a lot of children to be socially anxious,” she said. “They haven’t exercised their social skills — and they’re easy to learn if we model them.”

4. “It’s OK to make mistakes. Just be honest about it.”

Making mistakes is an inevitable part of life. When we teach our kids this, we send a message that messing up is only human. It’s how we handle those blunders that matters.

“Honesty is a trait many parents want to cultivate in their children, and the best way to do that is to make sure that it’s OK to make mistakes in your family,” Samudio said. “From a young age, we can teach children that the best way to develop honesty is to be supported through mistakes — which moves children away from lying to get out of trouble, because mistakes don’t bring punitive responses.”

5. “Thank you.”

Gratitude is a learned behavior. As parents, it’s our duty to help instill in our children the importance of being thankful for what we have — and expressing it. Research has shown that practicing gratitude is strongly and consistently linked with greater happiness, as well as better health and relationships.

Saying thank you often increases gratitude — “a known and simple happiness booster,” Borba said.

You might model this to your child by expressing to them how grateful you are for their thoughtful or helpful acts, said Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions.

“Be specific about how they made a difference for you: ‘Thank you for playing with the dog while I had my conference call. I really appreciate how you kept him occupied so I could concentrate on the meeting.’” she previously told HuffPost. “Being the recipient of gratitude will encourage your kids to want to pass it on.”

Let them also see you share your appreciation for others in your day-to-day life.

“From the cashier at the grocery store, to the dry cleaner to their teachers,” said McCready. “Your kids are watching and listening.”

6. “It’ll be OK.”

Helping our kids learn to stay optimistic through difficult times can put them in a better position to weather life’s challenges.

Language like “It’ll be OK,” “I’ll get through it” and “Things will get better” can be powerful in achieving this.

“Let’s teach kids simple statements to keep hope alive and pessimism down,” Borba said.

According to Aha! Parenting, “Research shows that optimists, who believe they can achieve success, are in fact more able to do so. They are less likely to get depressed, get fewer illnesses, have longer relationships, and live longer.”

Teach your child that they have the power to perceive setbacks any way they choose. When they’re catastrophizing, remind them that many problems are temporary and often within their power to fix — or at least improve.

This is part of a HuffPost Parents series called Enjoy the Ride. Read more here.

Share Button

21 Little Milestones That Are Secretly A Big Deal For Kids

Rolling over. The first step. The first word. Parents often fixate on these classic developmental milestones, but doing so can lead to unhealthy comparisons and insecurity.

“Milestones are exciting, but also know that your child may not follow the ‘expected’ ages for specific actions,” said Christina Furnival, a psychotherapist who specializes in children’s mental health. “Each child is unique and special and wonderful, regardless of the standard milestones they reach and the age at which they reach them.”

Of course, if you have serious concerns about your child’s development, it’s important to talk to your pediatrician. But if you simply find yourself feeling worried about their progress and your ability as a parent, remember that there are so many milestones worthy of celebration, including more nuanced and subtle ones.

Below, Furnival and other experts share 21 interesting and insightful small milestones in childhood development.

Showing visual attention

“Visual attention is a very important early developmental milestone that is more difficult to measure in a concrete way,” said Lauren C. Shuffrey, a developmental neuroscientist. “At birth, infants already have the ability to visually distinguish different types of objects, such as human faces, and this skill continues to develop over time. Visual attention to social or nonsocial stimuli in the early life environment helps form the basis for more complex skills later in infancy, such as social communication and joint attention.”

Kristene Geering, director of content at Parent Lab, noted that she looks for and delights in seeing a baby express joint attention ― another big step in their visual attention development.

“This might be a child looking at something, turning back to the parent, then looking back at the object,” she explained. “Or it could be them pointing at something and checking to see if you’re looking, too. A lot of parents don’t realize what a big deal that is for both communication and cognitive development, but it’s huge!”

Dropping and knocking things over

It may seem annoying when your little one drops their toy every time you hand it to them, but Rachel Robertson, vice president of education at Bright Horizons, said this is another big sign of growth.

“Toddlers are really great scientists,” she explained. “They are exploring a lot of cause and effect: Like what happens when I drop my spoon once, twice, 10 times! How about if I dump this bucket of blocks? They are working on muscle control.”

Amanda Gummer, a child psychologist and founder of The Good Play Guide, noted that babies dropping things is a step toward understanding “that they can have an impact on their environment” ― thus making major strides in cognitive development.

“For example, splashing water, knocking over a pile of blocks, or pressing a button on a toy to set off lights and sound,” she added. “Toddlers and preschoolers will then progress from seeing the world in a very concrete way, to being able to use symbolic and logical thinking.”

Forming a strong attachment

“Has your infant around five months on become less comfortable with being passed around and a little more clingy?” said Noel McDermott, a psychotherapist. “They are forming attachments in a healthy way to a primary carer. Their neurological frontal lobe development ― the brain development crucial for language, social, thinking, executive decision making ― is happening.”

He explained that this mechanism allows them to develop bonds with others throughout their lives. While this can manifest as separation anxiety and pose challenges, it’s actually a milestone when your child shows a strong attachment to a parent or friend.

“Even when your preschooler cries at drop-off because they are so comfortable with you ― that’s a milestone to note,” Furnival added. “Also when they run into class without looking back.”

Playing peekaboo

“Peekaboo is another milestone that, while parents certainly enjoy it, they don’t often recognize as a sign of object permanence,” Geering said.

Object permanence is the ability to understand that items or people still exist even when you can’t see them. “There are several stages for object permanence, and recognizing that this is a milestone … can make a parent’s day.”

Smiling at and with you

When your baby smiles at and with you, that’s a powerful developmental milestone that fosters connection and communication. Pay attention to “social smiles.”

“Smiling is a way to bond with your child,” said Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart, a pediatric psychologist and parent coach.

“It also helps them with their self-concept ― understanding who they are in relation to others,” she added. “It gives them reassurance that you love and care about them. It’s also a way for people to connect since so much of our communication is nonverbal and subtle.”

Eventually they will recognize themselves in the mirror and smile then as well, indicating an understanding of self.

Engaging in imaginative play

Playtime is an important part of child development, and the toddler years are when things start to evolve quickly.

“Your kid will start to play by themselves, and in their play space, objects can change and morph,” McDermott said. “Blocks can transform from one thing to another. A pencil may become a rocket. A toy car may become a submarine. Your kid is developing their literacy. This ability to imaginatively transform and maintain transformation in a creative internal narrative is the cognitive skill needed for reading.”

Kelly Oriard, a family therapist and co-founder of Slumberkins, an educational brand focused on emotional learning, said parents can get a glimpse into their child’s inner world by joining them during playtime. She noted that imaginative play fosters language development, relational interactions, problem-solving skills, and self-esteem.

“This magical milestone is such a fun one,” Oriard said. “Your child will begin to imagine and create their own little worlds for themselves and their toys. Through this milestone, children can better figure out their place in the world and their roles within their different systems. Another benefit of imaginative play is that kids can also explore their emotional identification and expression.”

Taking turns

“From ages 1-3 years, milestones can include sharing toys with friends or siblings and learning to take turns during play,” said Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist.

This milestone manifests earlier than many parents expect, so they might not recognize its importance.

“Of course, we want our kids to take turns on the playground, but when your toddler rolls the ball back and forth with you ― that’s also turn-taking!” Geering said. “And it builds not just the social-emotional skills we want our kids to have, it also helps in communication, that back-and-forth part of speech.”

Saying ‘no’

Hearing “no” from your toddler can get frustrating, but Robertson explained that it is not necessarily a bad thing.

“For toddlers, saying ‘no!’ means they are discovering their independence and exercising some control,” she said. “They are figuring out they have preferences and opinions, but don’t have a lot of words or methods of expressing them. It is worth noting when they start to be able to express their feelings like that, it is a sign of identity development. ‘Me do it’ or ‘I no want broccoli’ means they understand they are an individual who can express thoughts and have some autonomy.”

Matching objects

“It’s important to understand that one skill usually builds on another,” Geering said. “For example, while parents may think of reading as a milestone, it’s actually several milestones building on one another. One very early reading skill is being able to match two objects. A later stage would be matching that object to a photo, and then to an illustration.”

The smaller steps that build up to reading are important little milestones on their own. Parents can see that their child is making progress when they learn to recognize those incremental skills.

“If you see rows of patterned scribbles or shapes that sort of resemble letters, that means they are beginning to understand communication and that markings are symbols that represent words and ideas,” Robertson added.

Asking ‘why’ questions

“When you child is about 3, they start to ask ‘why’ questions,” said John and Kyle Hattie, co-authors of “10 Steps to Develop Great Learners.”

“This is a big deal as they are trying to understand the weird world they have come into. Things are happening that they want to begin to understand, see how their thinking about the world is true or not, and become genuinely curious.”

The authors noted that it’s important for parents to help their children find answers to their queries because during this time is when their child is developing a theory of the world around them.

“Children who do not get answers to the many ‘why’ questions begin to fall behind their peers, become less trusting in the world and people around them, and later in school struggle to make meaning,” they said.

Recognizing the urge to use the bathroom

“While parents often think of potty training as one thing, it’s made up of a lot of steps along the way,” Geering said. “It starts with the brain being able to even recognize the urge to go.”

During this time, kids are also “learning to coordinate their brains and bodies,” she said, for example, when they are figuring out how to pull their pants down and back up.

Starting daycare

“Entering daycare is a big milestone for toddlers and parents,” Lockhart said. “It introduces the concept of separation from primary caregivers, socializing and connecting with other adults and peers, independent play, gross and fine motor skills, and executive functioning skills, like problem-solving.”

She acknowledged separating from your little one can be nerve-wracking for many parents, but it’s a powerful and important developmental task.

Engaging in parallel play

“A stage of social development that’s easy to miss is when babies are playing next to other babies, but not together,” Gummer said. “They may be doing something completely different, watching the other child, or perhaps copying what the other infant is doing. This is known as parallel play and it will progress into playing with others as they get older.”

She emphasized that parallel play is a big first step toward collaborative play and making their first friend.

Experiencing humor

“The first laugh or even the first time your child understands humor and cracks a real joke ― should be noted and observed with greater frequency,” Oriard said.

She explained that a child’s displays of humor are joyful moments but also important social-emotional milestones to celebrate. Take note when you see your kid “get” a joke and laugh, relish in making other people laugh, or laugh at themselves when they do something silly.

Showing empathy

“Social-emotional milestones are being able to recognize emotions in themselves and others, and demonstrate compassion,” Robertson said. “Maybe they share something with a friend who is sad or offer you a hug without prompting. This shows you that they’re developing perspective and empathy.”

Acknowledge the first time your children show concern when someone is sad or hurt. Foster this empathy by helping them identify big feelings in themselves and others.

“Empathy is such a powerful skill, and throughout your child’s life, it can help create more robust and healthier relationships with others, including peers,” Oriard said.

Developing motor skills

“As a parent, point out those small skills your kids have now that they didn’t have a few months ago,” advised Deborah Farmer Kris, a parent educator. “Zipping up their jacket, putting on their socks, using a spoon, sorting their toys. Walking, talking, reading and writing aren’t events ― they are a cumulative processes.”

Furnival added that fine motor milestones may look like anything from using scissors to holding a pencil a certain way, while gross motor milestones can be going up the stairs one foot at a time or throwing a ball.

Seeing things as right and wrong

“Another important social-emotional milestone occurs around the ages of 4-5,” Oriard said. “At this stage, children begin to understand right and wrong and begin to conceptualize things from a moral viewpoint.”

Beginning to see things as right and wrong indicates that your child’s worldview is broadening, so they are better understanding how their actions can affect others.

“While moral development doesn’t happen all at once and is fine-tuned through many years, at this age, we begin to see it burgeoning into our children’s day-to-day interactions.”

Demonstrating emotional self-regulation

In addition to recognizing and expressing emotions, showing signs of emotional self-regulation is a significant milestone.

“When a child tries ― maybe doesn’t always succeed ― but tries to calm their own emotions, that is a really important sign of a critical life skill of self-regulation, being able to control emotions and actions,” Robertson said. “This is paramount in a classroom or a boardroom.”

Practicing complex and flexible thinking

An underappreciated sign of development is when a child demonstrates an ability to hold more than one thing in their mind at once and think flexibly. Robertson believes that this shows budding executive function control.

“Executive function is the most sophisticated set of brain functions and develops into a person’s 20s,” she explained. “It’s often compared to the CEO of the mind and includes working memory, self-control, and flexible thinking. If a child can remember three-step directions, or plan ahead and follow through even when distracted, or play a game like Simon Says, they are developing those very important abilities.”

Gummer pointed to another important step in the development of logical thinking and cognitive reasoning skills.

“Until around age 7, a child will believe that a tall, thin cup holds more liquid than a short, wide cup,” she said. “This is known as conservation. It can support a child’s math skills and along with other types of logic, can help children to problem solve in many different scenarios.”

Finding success at school

Parents often fixate on report cards as the most significant marker of a child’s development in an academic setting. But Joanne Frederick Washington, a licensed mental health counselor, believes there’s much more to it than grades.

“Other milestones that may not get recognized are kids waking up on their own every morning to go to school, their achievement of going into the next grade level, no days absent in a school year, not getting suspended, or having detention in a school year,” she said.

Overcoming a challenge

Going to school or participating in sports and other activities gives kids the opportunity to overcome a challenge or persevere after making a mistake.

“When they make a mistake, the big deal is what then happens next,” John and Kyle Hattie noted. “It’s learning that errors and failure are the learner’s best friends, and they are opportunities to learn.”

Challenges force kids to develop interpersonal skills, resilience, self-awareness, creativity and confidence.

“Going from frustration to satisfaction is the goal,” said Susan G. Groner, author and founder of “The Parenting Mentor.”

“We need to allow our kids to experience the frustration in order for them to figure it out and problem solve and then feel the satisfaction.”

She emphasized enjoying your time with your child and supporting them as they grow. “Observe the little things. Maybe we call them ‘inch stones,’ she said. “Hitting markers should be fun, rather than stressful!”

This is part of a HuffPost Parents series called Enjoy The Ride. Read more here.

Share Button

This Is How Men Under 30 Really Feel About Fatherhood

Women are “delaying” motherhood, or so the headlines would lead you to believe. And yet it takes two to tango if you’re hoping to conceive naturally.

When ONS data released earlier this year revealed a record number of women do not have children by the time they reach 30, the debate that ensued was a little skewed, to say the least.

Radio hosts questioned whether it was careers, the cost of living, or a desire for post-pandemic fun that was motivating women to have children later in life. The role of men in all this barely got a look-in.

But the chat did spark an interesting conversation with a friend of mine who, despite his impending 30th birthday, revealed that nobody had ever asked him about his views on fatherhood. Ever.

And actually, it might benefit us all if guys talked about this stuff, too.

Though there is one scientific study into male attitudes on fatherhood that’s periodically bandied around, we seldom hear men talking about this topic in the media – or even everyday life.

So to redress the balance, I asked a bunch of guys under 30 to share their feelings about parenthood. Here’s what they had to say:

“Being a father is just very exciting. It’s not about having that title, but rather being proud to do the things involved, have that responsibility of caring and loving for a child. We knew there would never be a ‘perfect time’, and given we were settled and agreed on having them down the line, we didn’t want to put it off any longer. It’s still bloody terrifying, but good things usually are.” – Ben Rogers (a new father), 29, South London

“I’m getting married next year and I think some family will expect us to have children soon. Personally, I’d rather wait five or six years and travel/enjoy married life first.” – Miles, 29, Hertfordshire

“As a 23-year-old with a business that will soon be turning over six figures, the thought of having a child is something that I’ve mentally delayed even thinking about until my mid-thirties as my friends that have children have had their careers put on hold and are now struggling financially.” – Ted Lawlor, 23, South London

“To be comfortable being a dad I’d need 1) to genuinely be very much in love with the woman, and expect to happily spend the rest of my life with her 2) have a house with enough room and 3) be generally financially stable enough given childcare costs. Due to my financial situation, I was living with my parents until my mid 20s, I think it is very hard to think about having children when living in your parents’ house.” – Sam, 27, Surrey

“I definitely want to be a father one day. The newly born period doesn’t appeal – sleepless nights, nappies etc – but when they can walk and talk I think it would be great fun being a dad! I would have had no issue being a young dad if it had happened.” – Jack, 29, London

“The thought of having children right now whilst I’m not settled down is a scary thought. I feel like it’s a huge responsibility that I’m not ready for yet! I want to make my stamp on the world before I bring my children into it and that’s my main focus.” – Harry Portch, 23, Reading

“Honestly? I haven’t thought about it much yet. Maybe one day, but I don’t feel the urgency yet or anything.” – Elliot, 28, Newcastle

“I’m not sure I want to be a father. But my partner is almost a decade older than me, and it means we’re grappling with a biological clock long before I expected to. We’re sensitive people who like their quiet, and worry about being consumed by childcare and regretting it. We both grew up in tense, angry households and are wary of either losing our peace or inflicting our own stress on any children. We also hate the idea of having kids out of custom or expectation when we’re unsure if it’s for us. But the prospect of missing our chance to do it biologically – especially when all her friends are having kids – is difficult, too.” – Joe, 27, London

“I’m 24 with a very stable career in the medical industry and a girlfriend that I adore, so for me, I cannot wait to have a child! My girlfriend and I have a plan to save money specifically with the child in mind so that we’re fully prepared for the magical moment.” – Jake Hanley, 24, Kent

“The earlier I have kids, the longer I’ll be around for them and my grandkids, but the cost of living and housing means this is being pushed down the road. It’s an increasingly unrealistic reality to enjoy seeing kids and grandkids grow up through life.” – Jonny Abbott, 23, Oxfordshire

“I’m equally as terrified of not having kids as I am of having kids. Knowing men who are involuntarily childless, the pain they have gone through is indescribable. Public broodiness in men is very stigmatised so I’m not surprised men aren’t willing to talk about it. I hope that changes.” – Freddie, 27, London

*Some surnames have been omitted to offer anonymity

Share Button

The Power Of ‘Finishing Strong’ With Your Kids At Night

At the start of the pandemic, when my family was locked down in our 800-square-foot New York City apartment and reeling from the pivot to remote work and no school or day care, an Instagram post from Glennon Doyle saved my sanity.

Her post was primarily about how parents should embrace screen time as a survival tool. But she also offered a theory that sticks with me still, two years on: the idea that all parents really need to do is finish their days with their kids well. Doyle hatched her theory when she worked as a preschool teacher. She’d spend hours devising thoughtful activities and lesson plans to fill the kids’ hours, but ultimately what they remembered most was whatever came at the end of their days.

“This is my philosophy with all things children now. All you have to do is finish strong,” Doyle said in her video post.

I loved this advice then, and I love it still now because it feels like self-compassion. I remembered it last night when, after a day with my younger son that involved more tears and nagging than I’d like, we salvaged the day with a big bedtime hug and a chat about the relative merits of dump trucks versus forklifts. After a pretty blah parenting day, it was the reset we both needed.

Of course, Doyle isn’t the only one preaching the power of ending the evening on a high note. Here’s why the last thing you say at night can be so powerful — and how to work on “finishing strong” with your kiddo.

The Power Of Nighttime Routines And Rituals

Consistency is essential to children, parents are told time and again, because it’s true. Establishing routines with younger children can help strengthen the connections in their brains that help them make sense of their days. Research suggests that kids with strong family routines tend to be emotionally healthier than those without.

Bedtime routines help set clear expectations for behavior and (ideally) help make kids feel relaxed and primed for sleep. A good, consistent bedtime routine may help improve your relationship, if for no other reason than it will help ensure they’re getting enough zzz’s. (Reminder: Kids need substantially more sleep than adults.)

But nighttime rituals and routines serve a strong emotional purpose, too. Kids need to feel that they’re getting plenty of together time and love during their days. Making sure to emphasize connection at bedtime can help fill that cup.

“All kids are wired for positive attention and emotional connection from us on a daily basis,” said Amy McCready, founder of PositiveParentingSolutions.com and author of “The Me, Me, Me Epidemic.” “If they don’t get it proactively, they’ll act out in ways to get attention and power.”

Remember: Bedtime Battles Aren’t Inevitable

While I’m personally heartened by the idea that I can turn around a crappy day with a decent nighttime routine, sometimes that feels impossible. My preschooler excels at dragging out bedtime. Many nights, I’m a frazzled, grumpy shell of myself with little left to give emotionally.

That’s why I like McCready’s focus on what she’s dubbed “mind, body and soul time.” It is a simple strategy that can help minimize bedtime battles and give kids the sense of connection they so crave.

“Here’s how it works: Plan to spend 10 to 15 minutes of one-on-one time with your child at bedtime after they have gone through their to-do lists (teeth brushed, room tidied, etc.),” McCready said. “Minimize distractions — no cellphones, no TV blaring in the background, no mental to-do lists running through your mind! During this time, be fully present in mind, body and soul — and play or do something your child wants to do.”

That could be reading a book, playing a silly game, listening to some wind-down music, she said — what matters is that you let your kiddo call the shots.

“By doing so, you’re filling [their] bucket with the essentials to feel loved, safe, secure and valued — no matter what else happened that day,” McCready said. “What a great way to end each day and promote peaceful sleep, for them and you!”

Be sure to let them know this is something they can expect regularly, she added. Again, it comes down to establishing routines and rituals and fostering connection. McCready suggests saying something like: “Spending this time with you is the best way to end my day, and I can’t wait to do it again tomorrow.”

Share Button