Why ‘Find A Job You Love And You’ll Never Work A Day In Your Life’ Is B.S.

“Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”

Ever since I entered the workforce about a decade ago, I’ve noticed versions of this expression on inspirational posters, mugs, online memes, laptop stickers and more. The phrase speaks to the idea that if you are passionate about your work, it won’t feel like a chore or a burden, but rather an enjoyable and fulfilling experience in which you want to take part.

This is all a nice idea, but even in a job you love, is it really possible to feel like you’re never working? I spoke to career coaches, psychologists and people who genuinely love their jobs to find out what they think about the expression and how it relates to the reality of work.

It makes sense why the phrase appeals to people.

“When so many people are stressed and burnt out by work, the idea that you could have a job that doesn’t ‘feel like work’ is incredibly appealing,” said Lauren Appio, a psychologist, executive coach and organisational consultant who specialises in mental health at work. “It’s aspirational and soothing for people who live in a culture like ours in the U.S., where there is little social safety net and people typically have to work very hard to make ends meet.”

Many people have very negative relationships with their work. Gallup’s latest State of the Global Workplace report showed job dissatisfaction to be at an all-time high, along with staggering rates of unhappiness and disengagement.

“You hear about the ‘Sunday Scaries’ or a ‘case of the Mondays,’” said career strategist Ana Goehner. “Some people also believe that everyone hates their job. This expression gives people hope that finding a job they love makes their negative feelings about work go away.”

While people commonly attribute the quote to Confucius, there’s very little information regarding the origin of “find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day.” Some citations of the expression date back to the 1980s, but it seems to be even more prominent in the Etsy era of embroidered quote pillows and inspirational memes.

“I think this mantra is almost as millennial as ‘live, laugh, love,’” said Kate Kennedy, author of the upcoming book “One in a Millennial” and host of the “Be There in Five” podcast. “I’m not sure when it became widespread, but I remember hearing it a lot in the early 2010s, whether it was a product of being post-recession, the start-up boom, or being in peak ‘Shark Tank’ America.”

Having entered the workforce amid the economic downturn of the Great Recession, Kennedy believes many young people were made to feel lucky to have any job at all.

“There comes the point of burnout where a lot of the joy is sapped from the hobby when it becomes your meal ticket.”

– Kate Kennedy

“That built-in sense of indebtedness to our employers normalised having a job you tolerated that paid the bills, so having a job you loved seemed like the most glamorous dream of all,” she said.

Meanwhile, technological advancements expanded our career options, with full-time bloggers, Instagram influencers and entrepreneurs monetising their hobbies through e-commerce and other new sources of income. Social media compounded the shift, as we saw people “just like us” showing off their flexible schedules, financial success and other aspects of these new aspirational work lifestyles.

“It’s hard not to find other people’s lives and careers more desirable based on how they portray them online,” Kennedy said. “It’s almost like the volume of options and the frequency of seeing successful examples of exercising those options created a sense of ‘elsewhere’ for careers, where during the moments you are feeling job dissatisfaction, it’s hard not to idealise doing something else.”

But the reality is often detached from the ideal.

“It’s important to acknowledge that not everyone has the luxury of choosing a job they love,” said Elizabeth Pearson, a women’s career coach and author of “Career Confinement.” “For many people, their work is simply a means to an end, and they may not find much enjoyment or fulfilment in it. Additionally, even if you do love your job, there will still be times when it feels like work ― deadlines, difficult projects and long hours can all take a toll on your energy and motivation.”

Having a job you love is no guarantee that you won't face challenges, difficult co-workers and other obstacles that make it feel like work, at least sometimes.

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Having a job you love is no guarantee that you won’t face challenges, difficult co-workers and other obstacles that make it feel like work, at least sometimes.

Stressful situations, terrible bosses, difficult co-workers, economic downshifts and other obstacles can arise no matter how passionate you feel about your work. Thus, “find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life” is, for most people, more of a feel-good statement than a feasible reality.

“I see this idea sold to service professionals: Work for yourself and do what you love,” Goehner said. “But few people discuss the challenges of building a business and performing tasks you dislike. Few people talk about the issues you face and all the learning involved. Doing what you enjoy should be the norm, but it’s still work. You are still trying to make a living.”

Even if you have the freedom to take a leap and monetise your hobby, it probably will still feel like work at times.

“There comes the point of burnout where a lot of the joy is sapped from the hobby when it becomes your meal ticket,” Kennedy said. “The biggest issue for me when I started a product-based business was not having access to capital to outsource or hire out many of the functions to get off the ground efficiently, so it all fell on me to figure out, which ended up with me working way more hours for a lot less money than I made in my corporate job.”

The job doesn’t magically feel like it’s not work once you’ve found a sustainable way to make a comfortable living, either.

“I absolutely love my job, and I’m still beat by the end of the day,” Appio said. “It requires deep, sustained focus and active emotional processing and regulation for hours at a time. Outside of my sessions, I also complete paperwork, manage all of my billing, marketing and communications with clients and colleagues, offer consults for prospective clients, develop and deliver trainings, and pursue continuing education.”

Any job comes with difficult days, including one that overall brings fulfilment and joy. And it’s normal to not always want to devote the required time and effort to the job.

“Even when you find work you love, jobs are temporary,” Goehner added. “In our current economy, you won’t likely spend your entire career with one company and do the same tasks. Even people who dedicate their lives to their careers may have tough days or perform tasks they dislike. You do what you enjoy, receive pay and hopefully get recognised for your efforts.”

What you ‘love’ doesn’t always translate to success or happiness.

“Telling others to ‘do what you love!’ is an oversimplification. Doing what you enjoy is not enough. Doing what you’re good at ― and being willing to stick with something, even when what was fun is no longer so fun ― can be just as important,” said Gorick Ng, a career adviser at Harvard University and author of “The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right.”

Consider whether you can leverage certain skills or expertise to succeed in your field.

“Maintaining the belief that work you love isn’t actually ‘work’ can create shame for people who feel burnt out or overwhelmed by work that they do truly love. This is especially common in work like health care, mental health and education.”

– Lauren Appio

“The expression doesn’t help people see possibilities based on where they are in their careers now,” Goehner said. “You can use your skills, gain new ones and find a workplace where you use 60-70% of the skills you enjoy. Sometimes, feeling a sense of expertise and having the freedom to share that at work can help you feel a sense of purpose or connection with your job.”

If you’re feeling drawn to a completely different path, give it a lot of thought and do your research. Ng emphasised that the idea of something is often more interesting than the thing itself.

“Would I like to be a musician? Sure! Can I sing to save my life? No!” he said. “And does singing the same song over and over again in a different city each week still sound fun when I haven’t been home for six months? I’m not so sure.”

“Your number one passion may not be a realistic career,” Goehner added. “I’d love to take care of baby pandas, but the likelihood of this happening is minimal. Also, what you love may not provide a decent living for yourself or your loved ones. It could be a source of income, but you may need to supplement it with another job. Love doesn’t always pay the bills.”

Even if you love a hobby like photography or baking, that doesn't mean you'll necessarily love the business of doing that hobby as a career.

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Even if you love a hobby like photography or baking, that doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily love the business of doing that hobby as a career.

Additionally, consider how you feel about the business of the thing you love, not just the activity or hobby itself.

“It’s great to have a dream job, but it’s also important to remember that you may not like the day-to-day tasks associated with monetising that dream,” Kennedy said. “I started a handmade business selling home decor where I hand-painted things, and I loved the category, I love working with my hands and being creative and I loved the idea of self-employment. But I didn’t spend most of my days doing an artist’s work ― I was mostly buried in things I was less passionate about, like shipping, fulfilment, customer service, and inventory management before I could afford help in those areas.”

Ng shared a time he met a talented photographer and asked if he wanted to pursue his art as a full-time career.

“His response surprised me,” Ng recalled. “He said, ‘I love taking photos, but I hate the business of taking photos. The minute I start relying on photography to pay the bills is the minute I’ll stop loving it.’ Be honest with yourself if you’re thinking of turning an interest into a career. Do you love the business of doing something as much as you love doing the thing itself? Not everyone will say yes to this question and that’s OK.”

The expression sets up workers for dissatisfaction and shame.

One problem with this idea about work? “It can keep people preoccupied with finding their ‘dream job’ and experiencing a chronic sense of dissatisfaction,” Appio said. “Because if your work feels like work ― as work does ― does that mean you’re doing something wrong?”

This fantasy of doing what you “love” and never feeling like you have to work can also lead to feelings of guilt or shame for those who don’t take a huge leap. This is especially true in the age of social media when we frequently see “creators” sharing all the highlights of their careers and few if any of the downsides.

“When I was in a corporate job, I wondered if I had ‘sold out’ or forwent meeting my potential by working in the corporate world,” Kennedy said. “Sometimes, it creates a fear that you actively chose to do something you don’t love when you could have followed your passion.”

There’s a sense of guilt for those who do make the choice to pursue a passion-based career.

“Maintaining the belief that work you love isn’t actually ‘work’ can create shame for people who feel burnt out or overwhelmed by work that they do truly love,” Appio said. “This is especially common in work like health care, mental health and education. Professionals in these areas may feel guilty or ‘ungrateful’ for experiencing compassion fatigue or needing a break.”

She also believes the “find a job you love and you’ll never work” expression can be used to further devalue creative or mission-driven work.

“If you love your job, people will often tell you that you ‘didn’t get into it for the money,’” Appio said. “But we all work to earn money, and even if we’d do our work for free in a different world, we all deserved to be paid well for the work we do.”

But it’s not completely off base.

“This is actually an expression that I believe in myself, and there have been moments where I lived it,” said career coach Jasmine Escalera. “The thing is, I do believe the expression needs to be tailored because it isn’t just about finding work you enjoy, but finding work that is connected to your purpose, to your passions and to your strengths.”

She believes a job that integrates the skills or tasks you’re particularly good at can make you feel inspired and as though you’re not working at all.

“The company culture is such an integral part of enjoying the work, as well,” Escalera said. “So I would say not just find a job you love, but find an environment that will let you be the most successful version of you, and you’ll never feel like you have to work a day in your life.”

Other experts offered their own rewrites of the expression.

“To make the expression accurate, I’d say, ‘Find a job you enjoy and that recognises your efforts, and build time for hobbies and activities that bring purpose outside of work,’” Goehner said. “You are more than your job.”

“I’d tell people if they haven’t found a job they love, to find a job comprised of tasks they like and do what they love on the side,” Kennedy added. “Jobs are often more about the day-to-day than the broader industry or buzzwordy job description, and paying attention to the type of work you find engaging can be a good way to find job satisfaction within the confines of being employed by someone else.”

Whether you’ve monetised a hobby or simply work to pay the bills and seek greater purpose elsewhere, Ng noted that there is no objective right or wrong in your approach to your career, just a difference in personal choices and values.

If you do want to find meaning in work, however, he shared this rewrite: “Find something that brings you joy and purpose every day, and you’ll always have something to look forward to.”

“Ultimately, the idea that you should ‘find a job you love’ is a good one, but it’s not always realistic or feasible,” Pearson echoed. “Instead, it’s important to strive for a job that aligns with your values and provides some level of fulfilment, while also being realistic about the fact that work is still work, even if you love it.”

This story was previously published on an earlier date.

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These Are The 10 Job Interview Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

Looking for a new job can feel like a job in itself. You spend so much time sending CVs, cover letters, and preparing for interviews that it eventually starts to feel like a chore.

The whole experience can make you so desperate for a job that you start missing potential warning signs that maybe the job on offer isn’t actually that great. When we’re looking for a new employer, we sometimes forget that we should be interviewing them too. Not everything that glitters is gold, especially when it comes to jobs.

It seems that more Brits are realising this as the search term ‘interview red flags,’ has received a 309.87% increase in the past month, according to Google Trends Data.

Fortunately for us, Tayo Ademolu at Translayte.com has shared the 10 job interview red flags to look out for throughout the interview process with HuffPost UK, so you’ll never wish you said no to an offer again.

They leave you waiting

It’s not unusual for employers to be a few minutes late for an interview, especially if they work in a fast-paced environment.

However, some interviewers can leave candidates waiting in Zooms or physical waiting rooms as an act of power play. If your interviewer leaves you waiting without a form of explanation, this might indicate that they tend to exert power.

Downplaying your experience

It’s natural to feel nervous before or after an interview but if you leave a meeting with a potential employer interview second-guessing yourself you might need to assess that.

If you find that your interviewer is downplaying your experience or is surprised at your salary expectations this may be a sign that they’re attempting to dampen your confidence in a bid to gain an exceptional skillset for a lower-than-average salary.

Having several interview stages

Most job interviews will consist of two to three interview stages. However, if each interview lasts several hours, and includes multiple tasks to the point where it feels that you’re working for them for free, you might need to run.

Ultimately, a workplace that is familiar with your CV and references should not feel the need to put you through several interviews.

If the interview is overly extensive, you should consider if it’s a workplace culture that you really wish to be a part of.

Not being transparent with the salary

If you have entered the interview stages, the workplace should be transparent when discussing salaries. If they are increasingly vague, this could be a red flag as it may be lower than the industry standard.

Getting too personal

Part of the interview process is figuring out if a candidate can fit in with the culture of the company. But, it’s not acceptable for an interviewer to ask personal questions.

Asking if you have children (or plan to), your marital status, your age, or your family background are definite red flags.

A work hard, play hard culture

Does the interviewer frequently talk of after-work drinks, drunken Thursdays, or boozy Friday lunches? After-work drinks are great however if the workplace promotes a ‘work hard, play hard’ culture, there may be an unsaid rule that workplace drinks are mandatory and promote an unhealthy work culture.

Too many perks

Instagrammable offices are cool to look at, but you should be careful of companies that are keen to offer perks that have game rooms and free snacks. Are they offering catering throughout the day because they expect you to consistently work overtime?

These places often use perks in place of pay rises too, so you should be wary of that.

Lack of focus during interviews

If the person interviewing you is looking at their phone or taking part in separate conversations, it could be a sign that they don’t respect you or their colleagues in the workplace.

No feedback after the interview

There’s nothing worse than waiting back on the result of an interview. During the interview, you should ask when you expect to hear from them.

If they leave you waiting several weeks, this is a red flag as it may indicate an unnecessary exertion of power, disorganisation, or lack of respect.

Pressuring you to start straight away

So you’ve managed to get the job, congrats! But, is your potential new place of work pushing you to hand in your notice and start?

Any new workplace should understand that you may take a reasonable amount of time to accept the role. Any pushiness from your potential new workplace may highlight an issue within the company.

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9 Things I Won’t Do After Working As A Nanny

There are 2.2 million domestic workers in the U.S., and a lot of them are nannies.

Nannies have busy, demanding jobs with tasks that can completely vary from family to family. They may be responsible for driving children to school, making meals or live-in caregiving.

Nannies work in private homes, often putting them outside of public view, so their critical roles in families and society can be undervalued and exploited. Misunderstandings can happen between what parents think they want in a nanny and the reality of what it’s actually like to employ or be one.

That’s why HuffPost reached out to nannies for what they think about working for families and the biggest “won’ts” they have learned. These are their hard-earned lessons.

Responses have been edited for clarity and length.

1. I won’t accept money under the table

boonchai wedmakawand via Getty Images

“I’ve been in the industry for over 25 years now. And I remember when I first started, that was the big thing: People paying you under the table and not paying their taxes.

“I remember even working for a family and they were lawyers, so they figured out how to get around it. I was like, ‘I can’t buy a car because I don’t have any proof of income,’ because I got paid in cash. … It was really weird. At the time, I was young and I did not understand the whole business of it. It definitely was done and it’s still done even though it’s illegal. People still try to pay you under the table.

“On a bigger scale, when COVID happened, so many nannies who were getting paid under the table couldn’t file for unemployment. It’s a big ‘no’ for me.” — Kimberly C. Brown, the CEO of the Nanny Kim on the Go consulting agency in Jersey City, New Jersey.

2. I won’t be paid less than a liveable wage

“About 10 years ago, I took a nanny job that paid $200 a week, so a lot of the stuff that I post [on TikTok] is based on real experiences that I have gone through within the last 10 years.

“A lot of people undermine our education and our professionalism because they assume it’s a little girls job. I am a professional and I have tons of education, and it is not comparable to being a teenager [babysitting].” — Coco in Scottsdale, Arizona. (Coco’s last name has been withheld for privacy reasons.)

3. I won’t forbid a nanny from answering a phone or leaving the house

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“I would never tell the nanny they can’t take the child outside or can’t answer their phones at work. People have to realise that nannies work during the day when most calls come in.

“A lot of people, they feel like nannies need to be ‘on’ all the time. That could be exhausting and wear your nanny out really quick. [I would never] assume that they don’t have emergency calls that may come in.

“I’ve definitely had that at work or at a job where they’re just like ‘Oh, I don’t want you to answer the phone for anybody but us’ or ‘I don’t want you to have your phone on at all.’

“I’ve worked with families where they won’t give me a key to the house, because they don’t want me to go in and out. They don’t want me to take the kid to the park. I just sit in the house all day with them until they come back. And that’s just not normal.” — Brown.

4. I won’t assume a nanny is a housekeeper

“I am more than happy to help out and I understand that managing their home is part of my position, but it’s not my job to scrub your baseboards. It’s not my job to wash your windows. It’s not my job to clean out your pantry and your fridge. I’ve even been asked to take the dog to the vet or come over if I have a day off, let’s say, and they say something along the lines of ‘We don’t need you today, but we just need you to stop by and water the plants.’ Something like that, to me, is inappropriate. I live an hour away, and I’m not going to drive an hour to water your plants.

“This job is very weird because you can be family with your bosses. It’s strange. You don’t want to be treated like any ‘regular-degular’ employee, because if I wanted to do that I would work at a day care.” — Coco.

5. I won’t contradict a family’s decisions

“As a nanny, I won’t contradict my employers, even in the smallest ways. Parents deserve to be respected in their absence, and my role is to be a supportive team member.

“I may offer advice or information, but ultimately will defer to the parents’ judgment. As long as the children are safe, I follow the guidance and preferences of my bosses when making decisions in their household.” — Amber Sembly in Atlanta.

6. I will not work without guaranteed hours in my contract

“An issue that I’ve seen happen to other nannies and even to myself as well a couple times is a family will hire you, they’ll say whatever hours they need, say it’s Monday through Friday, 8 to 5. Those are the set hours you’re going to base your life around, you’re going to keep your schedule open. But then every once in a while, the parent might get home early. But that affects your pay at the end of the day. So those guaranteed hours just keep you safe in case they do send you home early.

“Vacations — that’s a big one as well, especially with spring break coming up right now. [The family I work for is] going out of town with the kids for spring break, but I’m still getting paid for that week because of my guaranteed hours in my contract.” — Maiya Mosley in St. Louis.

7. I will not hire a nanny without meeting them

“If I were to hire child care, whether it’s short-term or long-term, I would definitely make sure my kids are comfortable with them and do a trial, even a few hours or so. Luckily for me, I’ve never had any issues. But I always think it’s crazy when people are like ‘OK, come over tomorrow night and watch them.’ And I’m like: ‘OK, you haven’t even met me yet. Are you sure?’

“Calling references, too — you want to do your due diligence. Luckily I have very good references and kids really like me, but I would never message someone on an app and be like, ‘You sound great, come over tomorrow.’” — Teniya Renee in Boston.

8. I will not arrive home late

Westend61 via Getty Images

“I wouldn’t come home late. Obviously, it happens, but I would definitely let the nanny know ‘Hey, I’m running behind,’ because nannies also have things to do after work. Being a nanny can often seem like, to a family, that you’re beholden to them. That’s a big one that comes up for nannies.” — Danny Rosenthal, the owner of United Nanny Agency in Chicago.

9. I will not assume a nanny knows what I need

cako74 via Getty Images

“Most families don’t realise that hiring a nanny means opening a small business in their home. Families have a huge learning curve … [and] hardly ever set expectations or explain how to accomplish the tasks they have set out for them to do. Families have no idea that they prefer their clothes folded a certain way or that they prefer one brand of paper towel over another — that’s real — but every family is particular. Very particular.

“If you want a nanny to do something, you need to show them. If you want a nanny to buy something, you need to tell them what brand, what store and which aisle. Years of experience means a nanny is capable of learning how to work with a family, but it doesn’t mean they know how to do everything the way you like it.” — Rosenthal.

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