Here’s How Many Seconds Science Says It Takes To Poop, And Wow, Am I Doing It Wrong

We’ve already shared at HuffPost that you’re not actually meant to sit on the loo for more than five minutes at a time.

We’ve also written about the fact that, although women tend to have more complications with their BMs, men spend a lot more time on the porcelain throne.

While writing the second article, though, I learned something that turned my world inside out.

According to some scientists, most mammals (and yep, we’re a part of that) should take no longer than 12 of Gillian McKeith’s own seconds to pass a poop.

What? Why?

Well, okay, it’s not as exact as that.

But according to a paper published by the Royal Society of Chemistry in their journal Soft Matter (I know), most mammals take between five and 19 seconds; 12 seconds on average.

The study, called Hydrodynamics of Defecation, looked at a range of mammals of different sizes at Zoo Atlanta. They didn’t study humans.

It found that, from a cat to an elephant, a majority (roughly 66%) of mammals took the same, sub-20 amount of seconds to pass a stool.

Patricia Yang, a mechanical engineer at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta, said that that may be because “The smell of body waste attracts predators, which is dangerous for animals.”

“If they stay longer doing their thing, they’re exposing themselves and risking being discovered,” the study’s main author told New Scientist.

How come it all takes the same time?

Pooping doesn’t work the way most of us think, the study revealed.

We’re not pushing the BMs out like removing toothpaste from a tube; “It’s more like a plug that just goes through a chute,” the study’s lead author said.

That’s partly because of the mucus that lines our gut and makes it slippery.

Add to that the fact that poop seems to take up a similar amount of space in the gut before it’s excreted across most species (five times the diameter of the mammals’ rectum), and it’s no wonder they exert a similar amount of pressure and take around the same time.

Though, again, the study didn’t look at humans, its lead author said “If it’s taking far longer than 12 seconds, I’d say you should go see someone about it.”

“But you can’t count the newspaper time,” she added.

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So… Why Do Men Spend So Much Time In The Bathroom?

In an Instagram Reel that’s been viewed over 70 million times, site user Hannah Stocking put a book above her loo’s cistern, placed a seat cover on the toilet, and walked out to her partner.

“I have to go,” he said forlornly; “I love you,” they both whispered as he entered the WC.

Arms on a clock span as he played games, scrolled, and generally hung out in there, pants around his ankles. He eventually emerges, bearded and disoriented.

“When your man goes to the bathroom,” the caption reads.

It’s not just an anecdotal thing or a funny post, though; according to a survey run by UK Bathrooms, men spend, on average, one hour and 35 minutes perched on the toilet each week compared to women’s 55 minutes.

Why?

It’s not usually stomach issues; or at least, it’s less likely to be that than it is for women.

Dr. Kyle Staller, a gastroenterologist, told Yahoo Life: “It’s true that men do spend longer in the toilet or on the toilet than women do, but in reality are much less likely to have bowel issues and chronic constipation than women are.”

Women’s colons are, on average, 10cm longer than men’s; our hormones also typically fluctuate more often, beleaguering our BMs.

A 2017 study from the University of Oxford and the University of Canberra found that not only are men more likely than women to scroll on the loo (20% vs 26.5%).

A YouGov study also found women feel more nervous about going number two in public loos, where lines are generally also longer than men’s.

But if we’re being real, I reckon we all know the true answer ― a lot of men admit to looking for a bit of an escape and some “me time” on the porcelain throne.

One-third of British men admit to hiding in the loo to escape their families compared to one-fifth of women, according to a survey by bathroom company Pebble Grey.

In a Vice article,

: “Now that I live with my girlfriend, I often use that alone time to plan dinners for the both of us and just generally take stock of the days ahead and what I’ve got going on.”

But doesn’t everyone like some me time?

Well, yes.

“I’ve had some clients tell me that the bathroom allows for the perfect escape from parenting duties,” Jonathan Alpert, a psychotherapist and author, told LiveScience.

“It can be a hideout for people because no one ever asks what you’re doing in there, even if you take a long time. It can truly be a safe place.”

That’s despite Office of National Statistics data that showed fathers of children aged five to 10 enjoyed five hours more leisure time than women per week, and “consistently took more leisure time than women regardless of how old the child in their household was.”

A 2023 Mumsnet post from a poster whose husband took several half-hour-long loo breaks daily reads, “The house would [be] chaos, the family wouldn’t eat and nothing would get done if I took 20 minutes out several times a day.”

Of course, if medical issues are to blame, ensure you see a doctor. And if it’s not a real cause of contention, hey ― scroll away.

Just don’t stay seated while, er, exposed for longer than five minutes (that can cause piles); and if you dash to the bog every time you need an escape, you might want to consider other, less pungent sources of “me time.”

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I’m A Doctor ― This Common Gut Health Buy May Be A Waste Of Money

It’s well-known that if you’re going on antibiotics, you’ll need to supplement the tablets with probiotics to protect your gut’s microbiome, right?

The medication wipes out the “good” bacteria along with the bad, and you need something like a specially-designed probiotic drink to restore it, the common argument goes.

But Dr. Karan Rajan, who’s known for spreading his medical know-how on TikTok, recently shared a video explaining that the relationship isn’t as straightforward as that.

Why not?

“Whilst there are some strains of bacteria known to have a protective effect at reducing the risk of antibiotic-associated diarrhoea, there’s no guarantee your average supermarket probiotic [drinks] contain these strains, even if they claim to,” he says.

“And even if they do contain it, are they even alive or present in sufficient concentrations to have any effect?” he asked.

He’s not alone in doubting the supermarket supplement.

Women’s Health writes that “the benefits [of supermarket probiotic drinks] are negligible,” with or without antibiotic use; dietitian Sophie Medlin told Which?, ”[the effect of probiotic supplements] depends on what bacteria is already present in your gut. This is why it’s hard to prove probiotics offer the same benefit to everyone.”

Medlin and Women’s Health both agree that research into the effectiveness of probiotic drinks is thin on the ground.

It’s not that nobody thinks any probiotic drink can help; it’s just that proving they do can be harder than you’d think.

“The jury is still out about which strains and which dosages are the most effective,” Dr. Karan Rajan says.

“So instead of spending your money on [probiotic drinks], there is something more evidence-based and effective that you can do during and after taking antibiotics.”

Which is?

I hate to be this person, but; plain ol’ fruits and veggies, apparently.

“Add more prebiotic fibres to your meals,” the doctor advised. “These plant fibres feed and encourage the growth of the existing good bugs.”

He added that “you can get these prebiotics in the form of supplements like psyllium husks or fibre-rich plants ― fruits, vegetables, grains, pulses.”

The doctor went on to say that brightly-coloured plants “tend to have a higher concentration of polyphenols, which our good gut bugs love.”

“Instead of these store-bought probiotics, go for the stuff naturally found in food ― they’re more likely to contain live bacteria in the form of lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium, which happen to be two of the most researched strains of probiotics,” Dr. Rajan ended his video.

Of course, listen to your doctor first, and if you’ve noticed benefits from drinking probiotic drinks then continue enjoying them.

Though some argue there’s not much proof for their effectiveness, there’s no definitive proof they don’t work, either.

But as dietician Kaitlin Colucci told Which?, while they “can be beneficial” for people who are unwell, “For healthy people without symptoms there’s no need to take probiotic supplements.”

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The Nasty Truth About ‘Poo Plumes’ — And How To Protect Yourself From Them

A wise philosopher once noted, “everybody poops,” and if you live in the United States and many other parts of the world, you’re probably using a toilet when you do.

So just how germy are they? And what can we do to keep our toilets, our bathrooms, and ourselves as faecal-matter-free as possible?

That’s what we — Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson, hosts of HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast — asked microbiologist Jason Tetro, aka “The Germ Guy,” when he recently chatted with us about the grossest parts of our bathrooms and how to vanquish the bad germs that might be thriving in them.

Listen to the full episode by pressing play:

“There are trillions and trillions and trillions of microbes that are essentially part of you,” Tetro, the author of “The Germ Files” and “The Germ Code,” told us. “The majority of them happen to be in your gastrointestinal system … As you might expect then, the majority of germs that we’re going to encounter in any household happen to be in the toilet.”

Many of those microbes are harmless, but some can make us sick. Even though our toilets do a great job of capturing and eliminating our waste, rogue “poo particles” (a decidedly non-scientific term Michelson used) can still escape the bowl — especially if we don’t shut the lid when we flush.

“This first started [to be studied in 1976], and the whole idea was, is there something that’s coming out of the toilet when you flush it if you don’t keep the lid down?” Tetro said. “[Back then we called it] a ‘plume.’ So it’s not ‘poo particles,’ it’s a plume of droplets in the air.”

Scientists placed petri dishes around a toilet, flushed it multiple times, and looked to see if anything sprouted.

“Sure enough, within six feet of that toilet, you had microbes that were growing because that’s the droplets’ span,” Tetro said.

“Let’s jump to today, because we now have had the ‘Austin Powers’ movies, and as a result of that, what are we going to use to be able to identify poo droplets? A freakin’ laser,” he said laughing.

After using lasers to map toilet plumes, scientists confirmed that they can launch as high as six feet in the air and the spray can land as far as six feet from the bowl.

“Within six feet of your toilet is usually your toothbrush,” Tetro noted. “When you think of it from that perspective, then you start to begin to realise that if you’re not closing the lid, then what ends up happening is that plume of droplets that contains your poo particles are getting onto things that are going to be touching your face and going inside of your mouth.”

That’s bad news because, as Tetro explained, “those fecal microbes can potentially cause infection and other problems.”

Though a partial plume could still escape from the sides of the seat even with the lid down, Tetro assured us most of the spray would be contained.

“If you keep the lid closed and you do end up with a little bit of a plume coming out of the sides, it’s just essentially gonna drop,” he said. ”[Just] make sure that you’re cleaning the floor around your toilet.”

What about cleaning the toilet itself?

“If you were to be able to swab a [toilet bowl] and then run that on a petri dish, you’re probably going to get a bunch of bacteria, but most of those are going to be environmental because it’s from the water,” Tetro said. “The reason for that is because toilets do what they’re supposed to do, which is to remove whatever is in the bowl — other than the plume — and take it down into the drain. So, in that sense, you really don’t need to worry too too much about contamination and growth and all that stuff.”

What we do need to worry about are biofilms, which are caused by bacteria in the water and often form as rings in our toilet bowls (and other places like our bathtubs and shower heads).

“They become very sticky and that’s where the poo bacteria can essentially start to accumulate,” Tetro said. “So what you want to do is try and prevent any of these biofilms from forming. It takes about three days to start creating a biofilm that isn’t visible, but could start being sticky. So if you really wanna be clean about it, then you want to be cleaning about every three days.”

However, Tetro said that it takes about seven days before “any of that stickiness could lead to poo sticking around,” so he advised cleaning our toilets once a week.

“The only time that I would say that you would want to do it more than that is if someone does have a gastrointestinal infection,” he added. “We’ve seen Salmonella survive in a toilet bowl up to seven weeks… [so] if you have any GI issues, then you really should be cleaning up later on that same day.”

We also chatted about the parts of our bathrooms with the most germs (they probably aren’t the spots you’d guess), how often we should be washing our towels (and the gross reason they start to smell), and much more.

So listen to the full episode above or wherever you get your podcasts.

For more from Jason Tetro, visit his website here.

Need some help with something you’ve been doing wrong? Email us at AmIDoingItWrong@HuffPost.com, and we might investigate the topic in an upcoming episode.

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If You’ve Ever Wondered Why You Fart More On Planes, This Is For You

We don’t talk enough about the sensory experiences on flights. The popping ears, the flip of the stomach as take-off happens, the vast array of confined noises all happening at once… it’s a lot.

However, the one sensation that we really don’t talk enough about is just how much more gassy we are when we’re thousands of feet in the air. It’s fine, you don’t have to say it out loud, we’re saying it for you.

There’s something so cruel about experiencing excessive gas when you quite literally can’t escape the situation but it really is normal and if you experience this, you’re not alone.

In fact, according to Dr Karan Rajan, it’s pretty much unavoidable.

Why you need to fart more on planes

In a reel posted on Instagram, the doctor explained that because the cabin pressure decreases which leads to the air inside of your intestines increasing by up to 30%.

Then, since your colon has limited space and can only expand so much, a natural consequence is to release the fumes. While you can try to hold farts in, not only is that going to leave you feeling uncomfortable, it’s also almost impossible on a flight.

This is because the pressure of the gas travelling down will take over the integrity of your anal sphincter, and some stinky fumes will make their way out. Sorry.

If you’ve ever wondered why the food on planes is very carb-heavy, this is why. Low fibre foods are less likely to leave you quite so gassy.

However, Dr Rajan assures, the filters in flight air conditioners are actually charcoal and they can absorb a lot of the smell. If you do worry about farting too much or just have a sensitive stomach, he recommends avoiding high FODMAP foods such as onions, garlic, seeds, and some kinds of breads as well as eating slowly to aid digestion.

Plus, you can take comfort in knowing this can happen to everyone so you won’t be the only gassy passenger.

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Love Chia Seeds? We’ve Got Some Bad News For Your Bowels

For a while now, chia seeds have been one of the key foods celebrated by health and fitness enthusiasts and with good reason: they’re loaded with antioxidants, can lower your risk of heart disease, contain important bone nutrients such as calcium and magnesium, and can even reduce blood sugar levels.

All in those tiny seeds! They’re so easy to add to smoothies, porridge, and yoghurts making them an ideal healthy choice. Especially since they don’t really taste of anything.

However, if you’re fond of sprinkling some of these popular seeds on your foods, you really need to make sure you’re drinking a lot of water because according to a gastroenterologist, chia seeds can absorb up to 27 times their own weight.

Chia Seeds Can Form A Concrete-Like Mass In Your Digestive Tract

Yep, that’s right.

Chia seeds may be small but they truly are mighty. According to Socalgastrodoc, an MD and gastroenterologist on TikTok, when there isn’t enough liquid in your digestive system, these seeds will form a concrete-like mass in your digestive tract which can lead to them getting stuck.

She even provided a shocking photo of one of these masses stuck in somebody’s oesophagus after they dry-scooped chia seeds. Lovely.

One commenter said “based on all the messaging I thought that they were a good form of fibre for my diverticulitis. I ended up with a blockage in my colon and almost died”…!

However, the good news is that this is very avoidable. Drinking plenty of fluids or using them in something like overnight oats means you’ll avoid such grim complications and still get the wealth of health benefits that chia seeds have to offer.

A commenter said “Moral of the story: make overnight chia seed pudding and never eat them dry” to which Socalgastrodoc replied with a trophy emoji which we can only assume is approval.

As another commenter said though, “Doritos don’t do this to me.”

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I Put My Friend’s Poo In Me – Welcome To The World Of DIY Faecal Transplants

Sitting in my Brooklyn apartment early one Friday morning, sipping on a mug of strong coffee, my cell phone pinged. “The eagle has landed,” the text message read, and I quickly threw on a jacket, ran downstairs, and hopped on my bike to pedal about three miles south, to the historic neighbourhood known as Ditmas Park. Pulling up to the street I was looking for, I pumped the brakes to cruise into my friend Adam’s driveway, where an insulated lunch box was waiting for me on his doorstep. I carefully placed the precious cargo into my bike’s rear basket, and set off straight for home: Time was of the essence.

Back in my apartment, I breathed a sigh of relief that my roommates had already left for work, as I was about to attend to a task so embarrassing and so frankly disgusting that I would not want another soul to bear witness to it. Setting myself up in my bathroom, I unzipped the lunch box to reveal its contents: A zip-top plastic bag containing one perfectly formed human turd – yes, I’m talking about poop – still warm, naturally, from its brief stint inside the padded box.

Working quickly in order to avoid introducing air into the bag – and also, let’s be honest, because the task was gross – I tipped a small quantity of saline solution into the bag, zipping it back up and using my hands (from the outside of the bag, of course) to mash the saline into the poop to approximate the thickness of a chocolate milkshake (my apologies for ruining that craving for you).

Once achieving that texture, I snipped a corner off the plastic bag, squeezed the brown mixture into a disposable plastic enema bulb, and lay down on my side atop a clean towel I had placed on the bathroom floor. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I reached behind me, squeezed the bulb’s contents into my rear, and browsed social media on my phone for about 15 minutes, at which point I placed my legs up the wall and waited for another 15 before going about my day.

What kind of a person would do something so astonishingly nasty and incredibly taboo? A perfectly normal one, I assure you – but also a very sick and desperate one. The process I describe above is known as a DIY or at-home faecal transplant, and I performed my first such treatment back in the fall of 2018. A

bout a year prior, I – a formerly very active, healthy, and vibrant 31-year-old – had become very, very sick, more or less overnight. Whereas my days used to be packed with such varied activities as researching and writing freelance journalism articles, biking all over my borough, cooking elaborate meals to enjoy with friends, and attending yoga classes, in that time I had gradually become housebound with symptoms such as joint pain, digestive issues, the confused thinking known as “brain fog,” and chronic fatigue that had me sleeping up to 18 hours a day.

By this point, I was no longer living, but just surviving, day in and day out, as I attempted to piece together what, exactly, had gone wrong.

Prior to my descent into chronic illness, the only sickness I had ever known was a short-lived cold or headache. Therefore, I was truly out of my depths when it came to sleuthing out the cause of my symptoms, which had been kicked off by a course of common antibiotics I took for a urinary tract infection in 2017.

Shortly after finishing the meds, I started to experience all sorts of bizarre things: My scalp itched incessantly as if I had lice, my extremities were hot to the touch and visibly inflamed, and my former stomach of steel suddenly had trouble digesting foods I’d eaten my whole life. At the time, I was living abroad in Mexico, and was forced to travel back to New York to seek medical attention.

At my first appointment with a naturopath recommended by a friend, the doctor looked up from the notes she was scribbling furiously when I mentioned the recent course of antibiotics. “Are antibiotics something you take frequently?” she asked. “Actually, yes,” I replied. I explained that throughout my 20s, I had been plagued by frequent and painful UTIs, and that doctors always prescribed antibiotics for them. Together, the naturopath and I figured out that I had ingested about 15 rounds of antibiotics in adulthood alone, and who knows how many as a child.

Today, it’s fairly well known that this class of drugs, while lifesaving in certain cases, is vastly over-prescribed and can negatively affect the health of the complex ecosystem that resides in our guts, known as the microbiome or microbiota.

There, up to 1,000 species of bacteria (ideally) live in harmony, forming the basis of our immune system and helping the body not only to digest food, but also to stave off invaders such as harmful bacteria and viruses.

But at the time, I didn’t know that antibiotics kill off both beneficial and pathogenic bacteria indiscriminately, a mechanism the new naturopath explained to me. Especially when overused, the drugs can permanently eradicate species of good bacteria in the gut, she told me, leading to system-wide malfunction in the body, and, potentially, symptoms such as irritable bowel syndrome, chronic sinus infections, and chronic skin infections.

The naturopath suspected that my myriad of symptoms stemmed from a gut depleted of various species of beneficial bacteria, and she suggested a course of treatment that included absolute avoidance of antibiotics and a diet rich in fermented, probiotic foods such as sauerkraut. But back at home, where I continued to research the issue online, I learned that the healthy bacteria in fermented foods don’t readily survive in the gut, which is, after all, a completely different environment than a strand of cabbage. The only known way to repopulate the gut with native strains of bacteria is through the infusion, to put it nicely, of faeces from a healthy “donor”: aka, a faecal transplant.

Known to livestock farmers – who observed that giving an enema made of poop from a healthy animal to a sick one could, in many cases, save the latter animal’s life – for at least a century, a faecal transplant consists of administering from a healthy subject to to the rectum of one that is sick, typically with the type of chronic diarrhoea that often leads to death due to extreme dehydration.

There, the beneficial bacteria from the healthy subject immediately start to colonise, restoring the immune system and helping the sick animal recover.

Eventually, the medical world caught on to what farmers had been doing for ages, and in 1958, the first faecal transplant in humans was used to treat the often-mortal gut infection known as Clostridioides difficile. Since then, FMT, as the process is known (short for faecal microbiota transplant) has been used regularly – with great success – to save the lives of patients struggling with this dangerous infection.

Unfortunately for patients facing the repercussions of antibiotics overuse, C. diff is the only approved hospital use for faecal transplants. For those who hope to treat chronic conditions such as IBS, liver disease, and neurocognitive disorders, the only settings that provide the treatment are private centres such as England’s Taymount Clinic and Australia’s Centre for Digestive Diseases, where in-patient courses of several FMT procedures can run up to $6,000 out of pocket.

In my case, as in the case of many others suffering from chronic illness, the only affordable option is a DIY one. Known as DIY or at-home FMTs, rogue faecal transplants have been something of a trend over the past decade.

Many websites, such as The Power of Poo, as well as tons of firsthand YouTube accounts exist to walk brave at-home FMTers through the process. Those suffering from sickness are advised to locate a “donor” who has a spartan history of antibiotic use, a balanced organic diet, and, of course, excellent digestive health. Many desperate people will go ahead with FMT based on those criteria alone, but others – like myself – will collect a potential donor’s “specimen” and have it laboratory-screened for common pathogens such as E. coli bacteria and Epstein Barr virus.

I identified three possible donors – among my closest circle of friends, who I knew wouldn’t judge me for my interesting choice of treatment – and tested their poo. Sadly, the results were mixed –clear evidence of our modern, toxic way of living – but Adam’s results were the best by far. After ironing out the unsavoury details with him, we entered into the rather unusual agreement.

All in all, I completed about 12 at-home FMTs, the process becoming decidedly less unsavoury as I noticed some positive changes such as an easing of my extreme chronic fatigue and fewer allergic reactions to foods.

Unfortunately, however, I didn’t experience the dramatic healing reported by many of the online accounts I had found, and I continued to dig into other possible causes of my symptoms. Eventually, towards the tail end of my treatments, I received a positive diagnosis for Lyme disease – which made sense considering that my symptoms started around the time that I had not only taken that course of antibiotics, but also immediately after a hiking trip to the Catskill Mountains in New York State, an area infamous for its high incidence of tickborne illness.

Using a just as off-the-beaten-path – but far less gross – treatment known as bee venom therapy, which harnesses the antibiotic and anti-inflammatory effect of live bee stings, I was able to fully recover my health, and have been well for more than a year. But I’ll always maintain – from a distance, of course – a certain level of respect for the healing power of poop.

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Everything You’re Scared To Ask About A Colonoscopy Answered By Someone Who’s Had One

A colonoscopy brings with it a sense of uncertainty – not helped by gut health and bowel movements still being stigmatised by society.

I have struggled with my bowels since my teens. Diarrhoea and urgency made my life miserable, but I became more concerned when I also started passing blood.

My GP had previously given me a diagnosis of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), although everything I read about it suggested bleeding was not usually a symptom. A fatigue like no other began to consume me, too, along with aches in my elbows and wrists. After further tests and a hospital admission (and many years), I was referred for a colonoscopy.

Although I knew the word, I didn’t know what the procedure entailed.

The leaflet given to me by the hospital was clear but clinical and told me the basics – that a colonoscope – a camera on a long, thin tube – is used to view the rectum and bowel. The colonoscope is inserted into the anus and shows your lower digestive tract on a screen. Images alone may be enough to make a diagnosis, but biopsies are sometimes also taken.

The idea of someone pushing a tube up my bum didn’t fill me with joy but I knew it was a vital step on the road to finding out what was wrong with me.

A week or so before my appointment a package arrived from the gastroenterology unit. As well as another copy of the leaflet I’d been given previously, there was a questionnaire to complete and return, along with sachets of a powder called Moviprep. A printout itinerary was also included, telling me how to prepare for the colonoscopy.

To see the bowel clearly, it needs to be completely empty which involves a period of fasting. This is also where the Moviprep came in. Instructions told me that the night before the colonoscopy I was to mix a sachet with two litres of water and then slowly drink the concoction.

The hazy mixture made me gag – it tasted of lemon and dust – but I knew this was the best way to get clear images. Finishing the jug felt like a win, but this was only the halfway point. A second jug had to be drank and this was infinitely harder as the Moviprep was taking effect and I was rushing to the bathroom regularly.

My stomach was bloating from drinking such large volumes. It wasn’t a fun experience, but I finished the second two litres, then spent the rest of the evening reading a book on the toilet before heading to bed.

Surprisingly, I slept until the rude awakening from my alarm clock signalled it was time for more Moviprep. Drinking another four litres on an empty stomach was a challenge but the trips to the bathroom that followed proved my bowels were clear – all I was passing was a slightly yellow-tinged liquid.

When I arrived at the hospital a nurse ran through the questionnaire I’d completed, asked if I’d completed the Moviprep and took my blood pressure and pulse rate. Satisfied that I met the criteria, he gave me the paperwork to sign to agree that I was happy for the procedure to go ahead. Once complete, I was given a hospital gown and paper pants to wear and told to wait for my slot.

By this point I was impatient, edgy, and hungry. Thankfully, it wasn’t long until a healthcare assistant showed me to the colonoscopy suite, instructing me to lie on my left-hand side and telling me how to use the gas and air (it is also possible to be sedated for a colonoscopy if you have someone to take you home).

The doctor who was carrying out the procedure showed me the colonoscope then a gel lubricant was applied, and, after a few puffs of Entonox, we were ready to go. The insertion was uncomfortable but not painful and I focused on the screen – after all, how often do you get to see your insides?

Being honest, I was light-headed throughout. My stomach was swelling, a result of the air used to help the doctor get clear images. The healthcare assistant was talking to me as I watched the images of the colonoscope moving through my bowel.

There were two points where it hurt, which the doctor explained was where my bowel twisted. I was given the option of stopping the procedure, but I persevered, not wanting to have to go through the entire process again. Thankfully, they were able to get the whole way around my bowel by moving me onto my stomach, although this did make me break wind! I immediately felt more comfortable, and they were able to take biopsies from various parts of my bowel.

After about 45 minutes it was all over and I was wheeled to the recovery area to rest, get changed and have an all-important cup of tea and a sandwich. I was then given a discharge form telling me when to expect the results and any warning signs to look out for before being sent home.

Two weeks later the results were in – I was officially diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. Since then, I have had more colonoscopies and, although not pleasant, I know it is an important part of my healthcare routine.

If you are called for a colonoscopy, try not to be nervous. It is a common procedure, with around 900,000 conducted each year in the UK.

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If Your Poo Floats, This Gastroenterologist Has Bad News For You

In today’s edition of ‘wow, we really don’t know anything about how our bodies work’, we’ve got some bad news about your poo.

If you’ve noticed that your stools tend to float in the toilet, this could be a sign of something going on in your gut – and no, it’s not a good thing.

Dr Sara Mesilhy, gastroenterologist at the Royal College of Physicians UK and part of the medical team at Probiotic Review Girl, has weighed in on the subject and it turns out you should take floating poos as a health warning sign.

Dr Mesilhy explains: “If your poo floats, it could indicate that your body is not digesting and absorbing fats properly. When your body is not able to absorb fats, they remain in your digestive tract and can cause your poo to become fluffy-looking and float.

“Floating poos are often a result of factors such as increased gas in the poo, caused by eating gas-producing foods, or changes in the balance of bacteria in the gut from recent antibiotic usage for example.”

So what can we do? According to Dr Mesilhy, the best place to start is by reducing your intake of high-fat foods such as fried foods, fatty meats, and full-fat dairy products (boo, hiss).

It’s also worth increasing your intake of soluble fibre foods (these can help to absorb excess water) to make your poo more solid.

However, Dr Mesilhy warns that floating poos can actually be a sign of a more serious underlying medical condition.

She explains: “In rare cases, floating poos can be a sign of pancreatic disorders, gallbladder disease, inflammatory bowel disease, or celiac. It’s always a good idea, in my opinion, to regularly check your poo for any changes.”

If you consistently have floating poos – even after changing your diet – or if you experience other symptoms such as abdominal pain, blood in your poo, diarrhoea, or weight loss, Dr Meshily advises consulting with a healthcare professional for further evaluation and treatment as soon as possible.

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