‘I Chose My Dog Over My Boyfriend And Never Looked Back’

When I met Zoe, an 85-pound, deaf American bulldog with different coloured eyes, I knew she was my companion. Seeing her pumpkin-shaped head in my rearview mirror as I drove with her away from the Los Angeles rescue gave me a sense of, “There you are!” as though I’d found someone I’d been searching for for years without realising it.

When my then boyfriend — let’s call him Jax — met Zoe, he had the opposite reaction. “We can’t keep her,” he said, backing away from us toward our living room wall.

Wait, what? His words didn’t compute. Where I saw my sweet, furry friend, Jax saw a monster.

Through difficult conversations, I learned that Jax’s time in a community gripped by generational violence and dog fights led him to associate certain breeds with trauma. It didn’t matter that Zoe stayed calm around him.

Jax said he would try to make it work with Zoe, but couldn’t seem to stay in the house for more than one night with her in it. Within a week, it was clear that Zoe would never be welcome.

Jax owned the home, and I’d only recently moved in, so all I felt I could do was make sure Zoe had a safe place where she was welcome. I sobbed, driving her back to the rescue, and hyperventilated after. “If she ends up with no place to go, call me,” I’d pleaded with the rescue manager. “I would come back for her. I’d figure it out.”

Maybe there was a loving home waiting for her around the corner, I told myself. That thought did little for my heartache, but it kept me from falling apart completely.

Jax and I attempted to carry on, but our experience with Zoe seemed to shed light on our differences that now felt like incompatibilities. He needed things to stay spotless and orderly. I needed my own space to be creative, without stressing over any mess I might make. He enjoyed discotheques and nightlife. I prefer sunrise hikes and turning in early. When he told me he wasn’t yet ready to share my attention, even with a dog, I appreciated his honesty. Meanwhile, I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my independence. Or, I realised, not care for a dog.

“I think we rushed into living together,” I told Jax, which started a heated argument. The conflict strengthened my qualms. So instead of slowing things down, we broke up.

After weeks of searching, I found a guest house in my price range that allowed dogs, then contacted the rescue and learned that Zoe was still available. The news gave me a full body exhale.

“She’s protective and doesn’t always like men,” Zoe’s adoption materials read. Works for me, I thought, signing the agreement.

When Zoe met Mike, my kind, funny and brilliant-without-being-intimidating neighbour, she rushed toward him. I panicked. How protective was she? Rather than attack, Zoe placed her front paws on Mike’s shoulders, like a canine hug.

Within two years, Mike and I got married on the steps we met on. Our wedding party consisted of Zoe, Mike’s parrot Wombley, and our dear friends’ senior beagle Eunice Petunia. When Eunice rolled up in her pink stroller with our rings strapped to her back, I lost it.

The writer with her husband and Zoe on their wedding day.

Stefanie Keenan

The writer with her husband and Zoe on their wedding day.

I’m not alone in having chosen a pet over a partner. When I posted about my experience on social media, over 40 people responded with similar experiences.

Ashley, a school principal in Oklahoma, realized her two large, mixed-breed dogs may be a dealbreaker with her partner when an argument erupted over whether or not the dogs would be allowed on the bed once they all lived together.

“They were here before him,” she told me. “I wasn’t kicking them out of their bed!” Beyond that, he didn’t understand her responsibility to them. “He’d want me to impulsively take an overnight trip, without a sitter or boarding lined up, and get annoyed when I’d say I couldn’t,” she said.

She called it quits when her partner took a job in a rural town. “We would have lived over two hours away from our primary care veterinarian, and 1 1/2 hours away from any 24/7 veterinary emergency rooms,” Ashley said. “That was a hard no for me.”

Jeanne Cross, owner and licensed therapist at EMDR Center of Denver, has helped people navigate breakups related to disagreements about animals. “A pet can contribute to a breakup when disagreements arise about pet care, responsibilities or lifestyle compatibility,” she said. “One partner may want a pet-free home due to allergies or a demanding schedule, while the other insists on keeping the pet.” Conflicts can also arise when one person is “significantly more invested in the pet,” she added.

A pet may even give people the courage to leave a harmful relationship. T., an office employee in California who preferred to remain anonymous, was in a relationship that seemed healthy and happy at first. Over time, frequent arguments gave way to abuse by T.’s boyfriend.

On a smoldering, triple digit day, T. returned home to find a skinny, tick-covered dog that had recently had puppies, lying down under her boyfriend’s truck. He told her he’d known about the dog but ignored her, not even offering water.

“During my search for her owner and trying to get her to lead me to her puppies, my boyfriend said, ‘Just leave her alone,’” T said. “So eventually I had to call Animal Control to pick her up. When they were walking her to the truck, she turned around and looked at me, and my heart just broke.”

Besotted with the dog, T. decided to visit her at the shelter daily until she was spayed and available for adoption. Then, T. took her home. “I had never experienced so much happiness and joy,” she said of that day. “She very quickly became my heart-and-soul dog.”

T.’s boyfriend, who at one point threw garbage at the dog, soon became her ex. “I felt guilty and heartbroken for my dog being brought into that situation,” she reflected. “I hadn’t cared about my own well-being, but I cared about hers… She saved me from a horribly abusive relationship, and I will forever be grateful for her because of it. We saved each other.”

Relationship experts agree that choosing a pet over a partner can be the right decision. But there is a “wrong” motivation, according to Melissa Legere, a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical director of California Behavioral Health: choosing the pet out of spite.

“If a couple breaks up and one of them insists on keeping the pet…just to hurt the other person, that’s not fair to anyone, especially the pet,” she said. “Doing this turns the pet into a pawn, which isn’t good because pets are supposed to be loved and looked after, not used as a way to get back at someone.”

Approached with genuine care, however, the decision has major benefits: “When you choose the pet, you put its well-being first and can make sure it’s in a stable, loving environment where its needs will come first,” said Legere. “Sometimes, this can be the most responsible and compassionate choice.”

Choosing a pet can also lead to strengthened self-compassion. Ashley, who parted with her ex two years ago, remains happily single. She’ll approach any new relationship differently. “One thing [choosing my dogs over a partner] taught me is that my ideal partner will value and prioritise the same things I do,” she said. “Someone that loves me shouldn’t be asking me to kick the canine loves of my life out of my bed after years of them sleeping with me, or to move somewhere that could leave them without [life-saving] veterinary care.”

The day of our wedding, Zoe started to limp. When a specialist revealed the cost of the surgery she needed, we looked at each other in agreement. Our honeymoon plans turned into a “Zoe-moon,” as we rehabilitated her in our living room for two months. All considering, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

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Cat Trees Are Actually Really Important For Cats’ Well-Being, According To A Behaviourist

If you share a home with a cat, you’ve probably noticed: Cats tend to seek out heights. What cat owner among us hasn’t caught their pet leaping onto counters or soaring onto shelves so high up that we can’t reach them without a ladder or stepping stool?

This love of high spaces is part of cats’ natural instincts, according to Stephanie Merlin, a certified feline behaviorist and cat well-being educator who runs the popular Instagram account @thefulfilledfeline.

“Cats are both predator and prey, so having a high vantage point is a natural way to help them feel safe and secure,” Merlin wrote. “This isn’t just about fun and games; it’s deeply rooted in their biology.”

One way to support your cat’s evolutionary need for heights is through investing in a cat tree, a dedicated structure with multiple tiers for cats to climb and perch on. The benefits of cat trees “go way beyond offering vertical space,” Merlin explained. “Many include scratching surfaces, cozy beds, hidden nooks and plenty of spots to leap and explore.”

Cat trees crucially provide cats with space to express their natural instincts, Merlin noted, and failing to provide this space can have consequences for you and your pet. “Without these outlets, cats can become bored and frustrated, leading to stress and potentially destructive behaviors, such as scratching furniture,” she explained. Cats may even “hid[e] out of fear because they lack the security of a high vantage point.”

Especially if your household has two or more cats, a cat tree “can be a game-changer,” Merlin wrote.

This is because, in multi-cat homes, cats are essentially sharing their territory and, in their view, competing for limited resources. “Without enough space and separate ‘pathways’ where cats can avoid each other, conflicts are more likely,” as well as increased tension, Merlin explained. “Vertical space offers a fantastic way to expand a cat’s ‘real estate’ and avoid these conflicts.”

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21 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week (July 27-Aug. 2)

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We’re Obsessed With This Strange Rule For Dog Names In France

If you’re a pet owner, you likely had a lot of fun (or frustration!) naming your pet. Do you go silly and call them something like pancake or do you go aggressively normal and name them something along the lines of Barry?

The choices are endless and while it obviously isn’t anything like naming a child, there is a certain weight to it as you are literally naming an animal that lives in your home.

It’s all very surreal if you think about it too much – which you shouldn’t.

Anyway, it turns out that in France, your choices are a little more limited as there are actually naming conventions around naming dogs over there. Sacre bleu!

The rules for naming dogs in France

In a recent video on her TikTok account, travel influencer Roya did a skit of two people discussing a dog and the year in which he was named. In the skit, the ‘French’ person assumed that her dog Peanut was born in 2019 because his name begins with the letter ‘P’.

It turns out that the dog was born in 2020 and, therefore, should have been named something beginning with the letter ‘R’.

Is this all making sense to you?

Yeah, same, I was a little lost. So I did some digging to find out what exactly was behind this convention.

According to Connexion France, this actually goes back to 1926. Since then, dog owners who hoped to register their pedigree dogs have had to name their dogs in accordance with the Société Centrale Canine in its Livre des Origines Français (LOF) which means naming them from the letter of the year they were born.

This is because the Société Centrale Canine has responsibility for keeping track of the genealogy of pedigree dogs and this rule was brought in to simplify the listings of these pups as sometimes owners would delay registering their dog at birth, making registers not-quite accurate, with older dogs appearing after younger dogs.

Since the introduction of this rule, the letters for each year have cycled through the alphabet with some exceptions. The letters K, Q, W, X and Y are left out due to the scarcity of names.

As for the French dog name letter for 2024? It’s V! As one commenter said on the original TikTok, “Can’t wait to name my dog Vulva this year ❤️

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23 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week (Dec. 2-8)

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We Fought To Keep Our Dog Alive When He Was Diagnosed With Cancer — And I’m So Grateful We Did

As we pulled into the parking lot, space No. 8, I tried to tell myself that this was all one big misunderstanding.

“Hopefully this doesn’t take too long,” I told my husband and our chocolate Labrador, Bill. In September 2022, we were still parking outside in an allotted spot and calling the veterinarian’s office to let them know we had arrived before entering the building.

Bill bounced around as the technician took down his vitals. “There is no way my dog, the one sitting here begging for treats and attention, has cancer,” I thought to myself, almost numb to the questions we were being asked, like if Bill still ate.

“Yes, of course he still eats,” I wanted to scream. “He also still plays and pulls on the leash during walks and barks at anyone he sees on the sidewalk.” But the words were trapped in my throat, tucked beneath my N95 mask.

We found ourselves in the veterinary oncology office after our 6-year-old dog developed a cough. I had taken Bill to his primary veterinarian, fully expecting an antibiotic and a $500 bill. Instead, she told me his lymph nodes were slightly enlarged and she was going to aspirate them “out of an abundance of caution.”

“Sometimes it’s cancer,” she said casually, “But Bill is young and healthy.” Those words would haunt me.

When the oncologist came into the room, she confirmed what I was wishing against: Bill had B-cell lymphoma, a cancer that’s treatable, but incurable. Left untreated, he had weeks to live. With treatment, we could hopefully get a year or more.

Just three months prior, my husband and I experienced our fourth consecutive pregnancy loss within an 18-month period, coupled with the devastating news we would not be able to have children of our own. A lymphoma diagnosis for one of our dogs felt like a cruel blow from the universe.

During my fourth pregnancy, I spent months in bed fighting for my life and the one inside of me. Bill would curl his body up against my shoulder so I could rest my head against his back. I’d crawl to the bathroom, too weak to walk, and he would follow, resting his head on my feet.

The upside, the doctor told us, is that chemotherapy doesn’t manifest in dogs the same way that it does humans. Because it’s used to preserve quality of life – not be curative – Bill would never know he was sick, he wouldn’t lose his hair, and any mild side effects, like an upset stomach, could be well managed.

“Some lymphoma patients have lived a long time,” she said.

“That will be Bill. He will be the outlier,” I thought to myself.

And so began the fight for Bill’s life – one that I will be forever grateful to have had the opportunity to endure. Choosing to fight Bill’s lymphoma was a privilege, as it comes with a price tag that is simply not feasible for many families, and we are endlessly grateful we had the ability to make that choice. Surely, a dog who had walked through hell alongside us ― including licking tears off my face as I miscarried my third pregnancy on the bathroom floor at home ― deserved to have his paw held through his own battle. For us, there was no Plan B.

Bill got his first treatment on his seventh birthday. Chemotherapy treatment was new to both my husband and myself. I feel most prepared ― and capable ― when I’m armed with knowledge, so I showed up to Bill’s chemotherapy each week ― always parking in spot No. 8 ― with a list of questions. Our family developed a routine of weekly chemo appointments, and fostered a relationship with his care team that resembled old friends, not medical staff.

After five months, Bill completed his chemotherapy plan, donning a graduation cap, and we cheered in the parking lot as he raced to greet us. We spent two cancer-free months together before the cancer returned. Determined to enjoy more time together as a family, Bill began another chemotherapy protocol that kept us in a state of bliss for more than six months. In some ways, Bill’s lymphoma diagnosis put a dog’s already-too-short lifespan into hyper-focus and left us wondering: How can we make every day his best day?

"Bill graduated his first round of chemotherapy with a parking lot celebration, complete with a graduation cap and a small parade with his oncology team in the parking lot."

Photo Courtesy of Kait Hanson

“Bill graduated his first round of chemotherapy with a parking lot celebration, complete with a graduation cap and a small parade with his oncology team in the parking lot.”

Everything about the 13 months we gained thanks to treatment was an intentional effort to savour joy in both big and small moments. My husband and I began taking both of our dogs with us wherever we went, like car rides to get “pup cups” for no other reason than spending time together, and stopping to delight in the ordinary, like crawling into bed as a family of four to watch a movie.

Normally a couple who travels frequently, we opted for things we could do with our dogs instead. We took trips to the beach, where Bill ripped through our rental property covered in sand, a road trip to Kentucky, in which both dogs decided they hated riding in the car and whined for nine hours, and visited plenty of wineries, where Bill always insisted he get the best seat in the house. What may have previously irritated me left me smiling and grateful. I look back on every photo I took during that period (more than 10,000) and I don’t see cancer; I see happiness.

Because the author and her family lived in Hawaii for most of Bill’s life, the beach was his happy place.

Photo Courtesy of Kait Hanson

Because the author and her family lived in Hawaii for most of Bill’s life, the beach was his happy place.

On a Friday morning in October 2023, Bill didn’t eat the food I put down. Instead, he looked at the bowl, looked at me, and turned around to go back to bed. I texted his oncologist: “Can you see Bill today?” On the way, Bill enjoyed his head out the window the entire time and even smiled when we pulled into spot 8. Bill loved his oncologists and care team, and whenever we got to the parking lot, no matter how he felt, it was like an internal switch was flipped and he rallied.

Throughout that day, Bill had bloodwork, ultrasounds and internal scans ― all of which came back clean showing normal lymph nodes and organs. “He looks great, all his lymph nodes palpate normally, but something is definitely off,” I remember his doctor saying as Bill rested his head on my feet. But by the end of the day, Bill was eating, wagging his tail, and ready to come home. That night, we enjoyed celebratory crab cakes and Bill, in true form, tried to steal them off our plates.

At 4 a.m. I woke up to the sound of my husband telling me something wasn’t right. Bill hadn’t slept and seemed restless. I flipped on the overhead light and one look told me this wasn’t the same dog who was attempting to eat dinner off a plate last night. We administered fluids into Bill like we’d learned to do from his care team, hoping to perk him up, but it was no use.

“Bud, just tell me what’s wrong,” I whispered into his floppy ears as dawn broke.

Our oncologist met us at the hospital, and after another thorough physical examination where Bill presented normally, we all agreed it would be in his best interest to get some supportive care in the hospital. We walked out of the hospital that morning with only his collar and leash, and it symbolized a reality I wasn’t ready or willing to accept yet.

“Bill won’t eat for us. I also need to let you know that his white blood cell counts and platelets are tanking,” the ICU doctor told me on the phone the next morning. “We have reason to believe his cancer has moved aggressively to his bones.”

Bill and the author's husband at the hospital

Photo Courtesy of Kait Hanson

Bill and the author’s husband at the hospital

Puzzle pieces in my brain began shifting into place, and I suddenly felt stupid for thinking we had cheated cancer. By that night, we knew one thing for sure: Bill deserved to spend any time he had left with the people he loved most.

We brought him home and got in bed together for what would be the last time. Restless and unable to sleep, a feeling of dread nestled into my stomach. As the sun began to rise, I half hoped my lethargic best friend had done a 180 overnight, and I rubbed his back with an ounce of hope. Instead, he inched to the edge of the bed in an attempt to escape my cuddle smothering.

For more than a year, people had told us that we would know when it “was time” by the look in our dog’s eyes, a fact I had mentally filed in my brain’s “empty platitudes” folder.

“His eyes are a different colour,” I said to my husband when the morning light finally illuminated our room. I felt like the air was being sucked from my lungs.

That day, we pulled into the same spot that had comforted us for so long, for the last time. So much had changed since the first day we claimed spot 8 more than a year prior, and we walked into the clinic without a phone call, unmasked, and carrying the dog who once plowed through the doors. Alongside my husband and the team that had cared so deeply for him, I kissed Bill’s velvety ears as he took his last breaths.

"Even at his darkest moment, Bill was smiling."

Photo Courtesy of Kait Hanson

“Even at his darkest moment, Bill was smiling.”

“I feel like an idiot for being so hopeful,” I told one of Bill’s oncologists as she escorted us out of the building through a private backdoor that day.

“Hope is how you get through it,” she replied.

From the outset of his diagnosis, we had promised Bill one thing: When the bad days began to outnumber the good days, we would carry out our final act of love. At the time, we had no idea if that meant an extra month or an extra year. We stopped counting days and instead began counting moments – and we made good on our promise to him in the end without hesitation or regret. I think that was the lesson in all of this, directly from Bill himself: Life is too short not to savour every single moment and make it count.

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20 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week (Aug. 12-18)

If you feel like you’ve been working like a dog, let us offer you the internet equivalent of a big pile of catnip: hilarious tweets about pets.

Each week at HuffPost, we scour Twitter X.com (is Elon Musk fur real?) to find the funniest posts about our furballs being complete goofballs. They’re sure to make you howl.

(And if you want more, no need to beg ― you can check out last week’s batch right here.)

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‘Trickster’ Cat At Shelter Caught On Video Opening Door Himself And ‘Strutting His Stuff’

A cat in a Nebraska animal shelter has made headlines for his skill with a door handle, but he’s still waiting for an adopter to open their door to him.

“Staff started to go crazy knowing they shut certain doors when they left at night but those same doors would be open in the morning……then today we discovered this,” the Capital Humane Society in Lincoln wrote on July 27 on Facebook.

The post included a video of a black cat named Grimsen leaping up and grabbing a door’s lever handle with his paws, managing to pull it down to let himself out.

“Grimsen is the ultimate trickster,” the shelter wrote.

The cat’s adoption listing also cites his ingenuity, calling Grimsen a “VERY smart guy” who “has managed to teach himself how to open lever style doorknobs and walk freely amongst the other shelter cats strutting his stuff.”

Early in the morning on the day of the Facebook post, the shelter staff noticed that three different doors were open and Grimsen was strolling the hallway. He was returned to the room he shares with two other cats, but around noon, “Grimsen was spotted walking down the hallway again,” veterinary and behaviour assistant Hillary Brandt told HuffPost in a Facebook message.

Not long after, Grimsen was once again returned to his room. This time, he was caught red-pawed opening the door.

Grimsen, probably coming up with another scheme.
Grimsen, probably coming up with another scheme.

Capital Humane Society

Unfortunately for a freedom-loving feline like Grimsen, it’s important that doors remain closed, especially after business hours.

“Doors stay closed at night so we know all cats are behaving properly and not throwing parties after hours, making messes and possibly fighting with others who don’t play well with feline friends,” said Sierra Kurth, the shelter’s fundraising and grants coordinator.

Grimsen had to spend a night in a cat condo inside a locked office before the shelter was able to add a hook apparatus to the doorknob of his regular room to prevent him from getting out ― though he still made an attempt.

The feline’s chaos-causing ways were mostly met with approval by those who commented on the shelter’s video.

“I’m Grimsen’s lawyer,” read a top comment from one justice-minded Facebook user. “My client is innocent.”

His story made multiple local news headlines, with KLKN-TV declaring him the cat who “can’t be contained.”

But despite his number of fans, Grimsen, who came to the shelter as a stray in mid-June, was still looking for someone to adopt him as of Friday. Preferably someone with a good sense of humour.

“He is a very active and comical boy,” Brandt said.

And despite his exceptional intelligence, Grimsen is no snob. His adoption listing notes that he “loves all the pets that you can give him, even when he has escaped and his presence surprises you.”

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This Top Performance Dog Coat Is An Absolute Winter Saviour For Your Pooch

We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, HuffPost UK may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

As humans we often find ourselves contemplating whether we actually need another coat in the closet when winter hits, but what about our furry friends?

Considering dogs can’t make that decision to stock up on insulating layers, or buy themselves fleece thermals, we have to be extra mindful when shopping outerwear for them – and not solely based on whether it looks cute, which is where Non-Stop Dogwear lends a helping paw!

The brand prides itself on comfortable, practical and warm activewear for you and your pet to wear on your daily strolls, so all the family can enjoy non-stop fun when faced with the elements.

And now Non-Stop Dogwear recently upgraded its Glacier jacket, and launched the Glacier Jacket 2.0, which is bigger and better than before.

This windproof and water repellent jacket provides extra warmth for your pooch, and also protects against rough vegetation they may find themselves exploring when outdoors. The functional design is lightweight and soft against your dog’s body, while still keeping them warm and dry without restricting their movement when they go bounding through the park or fields.

<img class="img-sized__img portrait" loading="lazy" alt="Non-Stop Dogwear's jackets keeps your dog warm and happy, but still able to move as much as they like” width=”720″ height=”960″ src=”https://www.wellnessmaster.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/this-top-performance-dog-coat-is-an-absolute-winter-saviour-for-your-pooch-3.jpg”>

Non-Stop Dogwear

Non-Stop Dogwear’s jackets keeps your dog warm and happy, but still able to move as much as they like

This ergonomic creation is made from PrimaLoft Insulation Eco, a fabric that is also used in sportswear for humans – because if it’s good enough for us, it’s good enough for our pets, right? The reinforced seams ensure this jacket is sturdy even on the most playful pups, and it’s breathable so your barking best friend does not overheat.

Non-Stop Dogwear has all bases covered with the Glacier jacket 2.0: it has drainage holes on the chest to prevent water from entering the jacket and getting trapped between their fur and outerwear, which can stop them from warming up and cause health concerns.

The updated version also has new panels to fit your dog’s body, no matter their size, and leg straps, which, combined with the cinch points, bungee cord adjustment and chest strap, means the jacket fits like a glove, but also stays in place. There is a dedicated leash opening, so you can still attach a harness, collar and lead with ease, and reflective printing for your pet’s safety.

We love that the Glacier Jacket 2.0 is compact and easily packed away after use, or stored neatly in the storage bag, which is perfect when on the go.

It can also be worn in all weather conditions, whether your dog is a daily walkies type or an extra active pooch who accompanies you on hikes or biking in the rain or snow.

<img class="img-sized__img landscape" loading="lazy" alt="Non-Stop Dogwear works in all conditions – can we have one?” width=”720″ height=”479″ src=”https://www.wellnessmaster.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/this-top-performance-dog-coat-is-an-absolute-winter-saviour-for-your-pooch-4.jpg”>

The Glacier jacket 2.0 comes in three colours: purple, black and orange, and as navy with teal and red detailing, all available in sizes 24-90cm back length.

The price varies depending on the colourway and size you select, as the cost ranges from £78.99 to £86.99, but considering it’s a practical for all pets when the winter cold really sets in, it’s an investment your dog will be thankful for.

However, it’s not only your dog’s length and size, or the colourway you need to consider when investing in Non-Stop Dogwear, but the breed of your pooch, their coat, health and age. When you layer a dog in a jacket, it is vital the design is not too tight or pushes down on their natural layer of fur, so the natural insulating abilities of their coat still function.

Some breeds have a thick double coat of their own and can acclimatise to the cold temperatures and do not necessarily need another layer of insulation, in comparison to short-haired dogs who would benefit. Having said that, when resting, or in extreme cold, all breeds can benefit from a little extra layer to protect them from the elements.

And If you can’t tell by their fur, the telltale signs a jacket is needed is if they are shivering, any changes in behaviour, or when they lift a paw off the ground – who knew it wasn’t just to say hello?

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Yes, The ‘Puppy Blues’ Are A Real Thing. Here’s How To Cope.

It’s hard to imagine anything more delightful than bringing an adorable puppy home. Yet many new dog owners find themselves feeling anything but delighted during those early weeks and months. It turns out there’s a name for this phenomenon: the puppy blues.

“The term ‘puppy blues’ refers to a range of emotions including feeling overwhelmed, sad, helpless, guilty, trapped, anxious and sometimes regretful after bringing a new puppy home,” Becky Stuempfig, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Encinitas, California, told HuffPost. “These feelings can last anywhere from a few days to a few months.”

Not everyone experiences the puppy blues after getting a new dog, but it’s certainly common, especially in first-time dog owners whose expectations for life with a pup don’t match the reality.

“Prior to bringing a dog home, many people have a scenario playing out in their mind that involves lots of puppy cuddling and play time,” Stuempfig explained. “They may be expecting to form an immediate bond with the puppy, especially if they had a very close bond with a previous pet.”

Raising a puppy can be fun and magical, but it’s also filled with challenges and frustration. Don’t underestimate the toll this new responsibility can take on your physical and mental health. But don’t despair, either.

“I have been a practicing veterinarian for over 40 years and have been a pet parent literally every day of my 67 years on this earth,” said Dr. Danny Cox, chief veterinary medical officer at Petzey. “I have experienced the sensation of ‘second guessing’ the decision to add a new puppy to the household multiple times for myself, my family and my clients.”

“It is not unusual for people to wonder if they made the correct decision,” Cox added. “However, with a little preparation and enough time, the puppy blues and that time of frustration and fear will morph into happiness, compassion and love for a wonderful lifelong companion.”

HuffPost asked Cox, Stuempfig and other experts to share their advice for coping with and overcoming this emotional experience, and they offered seven helpful tips. As Cox exmphasised: “Rest assured, the puppy blues ― being a real feeling ― is survivable.”

Remember the puppy stage is temporary

“It is important to remember that many of the things that create the puppy blues are fleeting,” Stuempfig said. “For example, the sleep deprivation that comes with potty training a puppy is a temporary phase and there’s [an] end in sight. The biting and nipping that puppies tend to engage in can be quite painful, but also a temporary stage.”

If it seems like your puppy is more interested in tearing up pillows than interacting with the humans at home, don’t despair or assume that this stressful environment will be the long-term reality. And this frustration doesn’t mean you hate your dog or that your dog hates you.

“Many new puppies have no interest in cuddling and feel trapped when humans try to hug or cuddle with them,” Stuempfig said. “Puppies want to explore their environment. They are curious about everything and their natural curiosity can be interpreted as detachment. Puppies often take a while to warm up to everyone in the family, particularly if you have young children.”

Study up and prepare

“New dog parents, just like new human baby parents, often find themselves unprepared to be new parents,” Cox explained. “If they have never had a dog before, they simply don’t know what to expect, and with the actions and behaviour quirks of a young puppy, their first response is ‘Oh my, what have I gotten myself into?’ ― much like postpartum depression experienced by new parents with a newborn child.”

She recommended taking the time to educate yourself about your dog’s breed so you know what to expect and can set ground rules for training your puppy and everyday life at home. Knowledge is power.

“A puppy is a feeling, thinking, loving, angry, confused, hungry, thirsty living being,” noted Dr. Alejandro Caos, a veterinarian with The Vets, a mobile veterinary service. “They require physical and emotional support, environmental enrichment and exercise, warmth and tender care mixed with rough-and-tumble fun. If you read this as being ‘needy,’ they are and deserve the best.”

He recommended reading the work of the late veterinarian and applied animal behaviourist Sophia Yin, who published many books to help families welcome a puppy into their lives.

Focus on the progress

The amount of training your puppy needs can sometimes feel overwhelming, but keep in mind that it’s a gradual process. Celebrate the small wins and milestones when they happen ― whether it’s the first time they communicated that they needed to use the bathroom, stopped chewing on cords or were OK with a leash.

“It’s very normal to feel these ‘puppy blues’ when we do not focus on the progress our furry buds are making,” Caos said. “Celebrate the good they do and try not to dwell on the not-so-good.”

Regressions can happen, and some days are better than others. But thinking about the overall positive momentum will reframe your day-to-day outlook.

Try to focus on the small milestones and the progress your dog makes.

Jessie Casson via Getty Images

Try to focus on the small milestones and the progress your dog makes.

Build a support network

“Ask for help!” Stuempfig urged. “Puppy owners can benefit from recruiting the help of others to minimise exhaustion. Similar to parents of infants, it often takes a village to raise a puppy. I encourage puppy parents to find their dog village and remember they are not alone in the transition. It can be helpful to talk about their ‘puppy blues’ feelings with other dog owners as a way of normalising their emotions since they are quite common.”

If you don’t have many friends who own dogs, consider striking up a conversation with people at the dog park to get a sense of what’s normal and what to expect. Fellow dog owners can be a hugely helpful source of information and comfort.

Professionals like trainers, behaviourists and veterinarians are also a great resource, whether you can schedule in-person classes and consultations or just follow their helpful videos and posts on TikTok, Instagram and other social media platforms. If it’s within your means, consider puppy classes as well.

“Visit your veterinarian regularly,” said Dr. Mondrian Contreras, a veterinarian at Carol Stream Animal Hospital in Illinois. “Make sure your puppy is healthy and not showing signs of overt medical issues that may need to be addressed properly and possibly immediately. Your veterinarian will also let you know if your pup is healthy enough to be socialising with others. These first few veterinary visits are essential to helping owners get started on the right ‘paw’ by helping them understand puppy needs as well as physical growth and social development.”

Acknowledge what you’re losing

“When we are talking about the puppy blues, what we are really talking about is a life transition, and with any life transition, grief and loss are central to the transition,” Stuempfig said. “When we bring a new puppy into our lives, we lose our old way of being in our home. We no longer have the same daily routine. There’s a sudden shift in focus and a dramatic increase in time, money and energy spent on a tiny little animal.”

With a new pet also comes a loss of independence, as you can no longer be away from home for long stretches. Stuempfig emphasised the importance of acknowledging these losses.

“By identifying and processing our losses, it allows people to understand what they are feeling in a nonjudgmental manner and then feel more present in our current situation,” she explained. “If we push these feelings down or judge ourselves for having them, they only grow larger.”

Resist the urge to compare your pup to a past pet

“Sometimes people bring past dog experiences into their new relationship with their dog and create very high standards for the new relationship with their dog, which takes time to build and does not always happen in the first few weeks or months,” Stuempfig explained. “People need to remind themselves that the relationship with their puppy will be different, and try not to place any expectations on the relationship. Rather, think of it as a new adventure that is yet to unfold.”

Remember that emotional bonds don’t form overnight, and that every dog has their own personality and special traits, which will emerge in due time and help you feel closer. Try to take it one day at a time and those positive memories will come.

“The puppy days can be exhausting and filled with stress,” Stuempfig said. “We are given strict guidelines to keep them healthy, tasked with obtaining well checks and immunisations, advised to facilitate puppy socialisation, all while trying to maintain the other pre-existing life tasks. Oftentimes, the enjoyable memories come when the dog has grown past the puppy stage and the puppy tasks have been fulfilled.”

Make proper socialisation a priority

Although medical issues can contribute to the puppy blues, Contreras believes a more common factor involves puppy behavioural issues, like potty training, excessive biting and barking, resource guarding, growling and separation anxiety.

“Lack of socialisation is the most common reason for future behavioural problems. What’s more, the lack of proper socialisation in addition to negative experiences at a young age can result in fear, aggression and generalised anxiety,” he said. “The good news is that most of the behavioural issues can be decreased with proper socialisation and training, which will help owners feel less overwhelmed, anxious, and negative toward their new puppy.”

Getting your puppy vaccinated and following veterinary guidance will allow for safe social interactions with other dogs and positive development. Once your canine is old enough and you’ve taken the proper precautions, they can go out into the world and meet other pups.

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