‘I Want To Move To New Zealand, But My Husband Wants To Stay’

You’re reading Love Stuck, where trained therapists answer your dating, sex and relationship dilemmas. You can submit a question here.

In a relationship, you won’t always share the same desires as your partner. Your partner might want to go on holiday for two weeks whilst you’d prefer if the holiday was for seven days. Perhaps you want to have three children but your partner wants to have one.

Or you want to move to another country, but your partner doesn’t think this is the best idea. This is the issue for this week’s reader. Harriet.

“I’m a 73-year old woman and want to move to New Zealand where my daughter and granddaughter live. My husband of 30 plus years wants to stay. Do I go or do I stay?” she asks.

Should she make the move to New Zealand without her partner? Or should she stay in the UK?

Counselling Directory member Kirsty Taylor suggests that Harriet considers the pros and cons of moving her life across the world without her husband. “It might be useful to actually make a list of all the reasons to go, and all the reasons to stay,” she adds.

What would you say to this reader?

“There can be strong emotional reactions when someone you love dearly is moving far away, and it’s a very normal response to consider if life would be better being nearer to those you love the most,” Taylor says.

“However, there is a long marriage and partnership to consider here too. I would like the reader to reflect on her marriage and how much it means to her, to have a good honest period of reflection on what she wants her future to look like and who she most wants to be in it.”

Counselling Directory member Paula Coles thinks it’s understandable that Harriet would want to live closer to her grandchildren. However she says “it’s important that lots of thought should be out in to huge decisions such as this, partly because it affects many individuals in both the nuclear and extended family systems.”

Coles is also curious about Harriet’s current life. “Is she perhaps feeling a lack of purpose that she hopes the daughter and granddaughter can give her?

“How might she also find purpose in her current life through friends and activities, which for many have been dreadfully affected by the pandemic and the strain that has put on many people in the last few years.”

How can she weigh up if she should move away?

Taylor thinks Harriet could benefit from a little bit of space and time to really consider this decision. “It might be useful for her to write a list of all the pros of moving to New Zealand and then all the cons of this decision.

“I think the reader could map out her future by writing it down. She could spend some time imagining what she wants from the rest of her life – will living near her daughter without her husband give her enough joy to sustain a life away from her husband? What does her daughter imagine this life to look like?”

It could put a strain on the relationship if Harriet relies on her daughter for all of her social needs.

“Has there been some conversation about the practicalities of this decision if she goes ahead with it, in terms of finance, where to live, healthcare, leaving friends, potentially living alone?” Taylor asks.

“Ultimately, the gut is our guide to decision making. The reader needs to be clear about what her gut is telling her. Regardless if the decision might cause some pain and difficulty, her gut might already have the answer.”

How can she deal with this issue with her partner?

Ultimately, Harriet needs to have a long discussion with her partner. “She could try and find out his reasons for not wanting to go, and see if there is a way to come to a mutual agreement or to manage his fears and worries about a move and find a way to make a plan together,” Taylor says.

Taylor believes that she should have an honest and truthful conversation with her husband about why she is considering to move. “There may be a bigger issue in the relationship that needs some gentle navigation.”

Her desire to move could also be a sign of deeper unhappiness or frustration. “People often look at their lives at certain points and want to make some changes,” Taylor adds.

“There may be a way of finding a middle ground – half a year in NZ, half a year in the UK. Ultimately, this issue needs some careful and considered navigation to come to an outcome that makes sense for the reader’s future happiness.”

Love Stuck is for those who’ve hit a romantic wall, whether you’re single or have been coupled up for decades. With the help of trained sex and relationship therapists, HuffPost UK will help answer your dilemmas. Submit a question here.

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How To Maximise Your Annual Leave In 2023 For The Most Time Off Work

Just like that, the last bank holiday of the season (until Christmas) has passed. Love Island has finished, we experienced two heatwaves, danced at Notting Hill Carnival and caught a tan at the beach. It looks like it’s time to slowly start putting your summer clothes away and get out your jumpers.

I know you don’t want to to think about winter just yet, so why don’t you use this time to start planning your holidays for next year?

It might feel too early, but if you start plotting your time now, you can get bag the best days and get 47 days off work by using only 19 days of annual leave. Imagine how you’d spend that time living your best life!

Want to find out how you can maximise your holidays next year? Keep reading.

Easter weekend 🐣

Easter Sunday falls on Sunday 9 April in 2023. If your employer closes on the weekends and bank holidays you can get a 10-day break using four days of annual leave.

Book off: April 3, 4, 5, 6

Get off: March 31 to April 10

May bank holiday 🌸

Ah, May how we love you for your multiple bank holidays. If you didn’t manage to get those days off in April then you’re in luck, because the May bank holiday is shortly after the Easter break. The first bank holiday is on May 1.

Book off: May 2, 3, 4, 5

Get off: April 31st to May 8th

The fun doesn’t stop there in May as we also have the late May bank holiday which falls on May 29.

Book off: May 30, 31, June 1, 2

Get off: May 29 to Sunday June 4

August bank holiday 🏖️

The August bank holiday is everyone’s favourite. It signifies the end of summer so we all want to make the most out of that weekend. And it’s the perfect time to book a little trip away. The 2023 August bank holiday falls on Monday 28.

Book off: August 29, 30, 31, September 1

Get off: August 26 to September 3

Christmas 🎄

Tis’ the season to be jolly by taking timing off to eat a dozen mince pies. Even those who don’t enjoy Christmas don’t want to work during that time. We’d all rather drink hot chocolate and snuggle up in bed. Christmas day falls on Monday 25 in 2023. You’ll also get a bank holiday on Boxing day (December 26) and New Year’s Day (January 1 2024)

Book off: December 27, 28, 29

Get off: December 23 to Tuesday January 2 2024

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How Alcohol Affects Your Body When You’re On A Flight

Ordering beer, wine or a cocktail while flying is a common move. For some, having an alcoholic beverage on the plane is a travel day essential to relax, take the edge off, celebrate a vacation or even to fall asleep on a long flight.

But is this really the best option? Alcohol can leave you groggy and dehydrated. When consumed in excess, it may lower inhibitions and lead to unruly behavior, which we saw a lot of when people reacted negatively to federal mask mandates.

We reached out to some experts in medicine and nutrition, and asked if alcoholic beverages were a good idea while flying. Here’s what we found out about how alcohol affects your body while you’re up in the air.

Is it a bad idea to order alcohol on a flight?

There’s no easy answer to this question, experts say. Ordering a beer or wine while flying is a personal decision that might work for one person and not for the person sitting next to them. “If a person is on edge due to flying in general — and doesn’t become more so with alcohol — sometimes having a beverage might relax them or make the process feel a little bit more pleasant or more ordinary,” said Wendy Bazilian, a registered dietitian nutritionist.

But while some may grab a drink as a celebratory kickoff for a long-awaited trip, others may experience side effects while drinking on a plane.

You may not sleep well.

It’s tempting to order a drink in hopes that it will help you fall asleep and get some much-needed rest on an overnight flight. But this isn’t necessarily the greatest idea, according to the experts we spoke to. “Even though you think it relaxes you, your sleep will be disrupted and you likely will not get into REM sleep, the type of sleep that is restorative,” said Amy Shapiro, a registered dietitian at Real Nutrition.

You may doze off after a glass of wine, but your sleep won't be as restful.

Jaromir Chalabala/EyeEm via Getty Images

You may doze off after a glass of wine, but your sleep won’t be as restful.

Drinking on a flight doesn’t promote restorative sleep but can help some people fall asleep, Bazilian points out. “If in moderation … if she or he believes it helps a little to ease into sleep, then that can be fine.”

You may become dehydrated.

Alcohol is a diuretic, which means your body will increase its output of urine. If you don’t drink additional water to make up for this fluid loss, you may quickly become dehydrated, Shapiro said.

You may become intoxicated without even realizing.

“There is usually very little food available on most flights — or it is not particularly appetizing — and it would be easy to drink too much on a relatively empty stomach,” said Dr. Karen Jubanyik, an associate professor of emergency medicine at Yale University School of Medicine. It would be very easy to drink the same amount you drink at home, but without adequate food intake, this amount might be too much, she said.

There’s also the fact that most people are pretty sedentary on a flight, rarely leaving their seat. When you do get up, you may find you’re feeling the effects of alcohol more than expected.

You could become disruptive.

We all know that drinking alcohol can lower inhibitions. This could cause an individual to become loud and disrespectful to the flight crew and fellow passengers. People with lowered inhibitions may have a harder time staying calm when annoyed by small inconveniences and actions of people nearby, like a fully reclined seat back. “If someone has lowered inhibitions, they may speak their mind or start a confrontation with another passenger over relatively small things, which can also land them in trouble,” Jubanyik said.

You may have trouble moving around the plane.

“Progressive intoxication can lead to slurred speech, trouble with coordination and trouble walking,” Jubanyik said. “Just walking to and using the bathroom or exiting the plane could be difficult.”

The good news? You can drink on a flight if you keep some recommendations in mind.

Sipping a cocktail while commuting home from a work trip or while en route to a vacation doesn’t carry a ton of benefits, but you can still enjoy a drink while flying if it’s a behavior that works for you.

“It can be helpful in relaxing you or easing anxiety in the beginning, and since many people are anxious flyers, this can help,” Shapiro said, while also pointing out that drinking too much can lead to increased anxiety and have a boomerang effect, so it is important to know your limit.

Sometimes you may just want to order a drink simply because you feel like having one (many of us regularly do so after work or on the weekends), and this is fine when done in moderation and with a few tips in mind.

Don’t drink on an empty stomach.

If you plan to drink alcohol on a flight, pack some snacks and make sure to eat a meal before boarding if you know there won’t be any in-flight food service.

“Eating food alongside alcohol can help maintain energy and steady blood sugar while your body processes the alcohol,” Bazilian said.

Stay hydrated.

The experts we spoke to recommend alternating each alcoholic drink with at least one or two glasses of water. “This will help you to remain hydrated and to feel the negative effects less,” Shapiro said. Electrolyte drinks can also help, and if you have the chance, fill up your water bottle in the airport before takeoff. Water and other nonalcoholic drinks aren’t always readily available throughout the flight, so sometimes it’s just easier to carry your own.

Don’t drink if you’re going to be renting a car upon arrival.

“It is particularly a bad idea to drink alcohol if you will be renting a car and will need to drive upon arriving at your destination,” Jubanyik said. “Even if not technically drunk, driving in an unfamiliar location will likely require additional attention and reaction time than one needs in their local environment.”

Pace yourself.

It’s easy to drink quickly on a flight or to grab another drink simply as a way to pass time. Along with staying hydrated and taking a breather between drinks, Bazilian recommends paying close attention to how much alcohol you’re consuming. “One of those little alcohol bottles on a plane is typically 1.5 or 1.7 ounces, not a 1-ounce pour, and the mini-bottles of wine may be more than a 3-ounce pour. Just be aware that one drink [on a flight] may be more than you count as one when you’re on the ground.”

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How To Deal With Body Image Issues When You’re On Holiday

Vacations can be tricky for those of us who struggle with body image.

Sometimes the clothes we think we’ll look hot in suddenly feel wrong. These thoughts can mess with our mood and get in the way of us enjoying time off — which is frustrating, yet hard to beat. The conversations we hear in real life and from the media about “bikini bodies,” as well as systemic fatphobia issues, such as hotels not giving out size-inclusive towels and airplanes making too-small seatbelts, exacerbate this predicament.

While you may not be able to avoid focusing on body concerns entirely, you can pack and prepare in a way that helps foster better body positivity on your trip. A few eating disorder and body image experts shared their best tips.

Start with your packing list

When you’re staring at your closet, trying to decide what to pack, go for comfort first. Think of the temperature at your vacation spot, what materials feel best on your skin, variety and pieces you know you love.

“People should pack whatever clothes they feel most comfortable in and are suitable for the climate of their vacation or types of activities that they’ll be doing,” said Rachel Evans, an eating disorder psychologist. “If you have space in your suitcase, then it’s probably a good idea to pack a range of clothes, some with a looser fit and some with a tighter fit … You can decide in the moment what clothes make you feel more secure about your body.”

Then, consider what feels fit for the occasion. “Look at styling and function,” said Carolina Mountford, an eating disorder expert with personal experience and a mental health advocate. “Do you need smart or casual? Is it an active holiday or relaxing by pools or on beaches? … Once you’ve narrowed it down to comfort and function, pick your favorites.”

And don’t forget about what feels stylish to you as far as colors, prints and styles. “Are you able to dress up in a way that feels less about the body and more about who you see yourself as?” said Kerrie Jones, a psychotherapist and founder of Orri, a specialist day treatment service for eating disorders. “Turn your attention towards the individual items themselves as opposed to how they are making your body look.”

Plan ahead for scenarios that may bring up body image issues

You can also prepare for vacation by brainstorming triggers and how to handle them.

“Whether it’s social media, a certain person or group of people in your friendship circle or an experience — perhaps changing rooms — if you’re aware of situations or activities that trigger negative body image, you can work to process and respond to them in a healthy way,” Jones said.

That may look like deleting your Instagram app while you’re away or changing clothes by yourself. Mentally preparing for the circumstances you know don’t make you feel good can help you navigate them or avoid them.

Packing a range of clothes and options will help you feel more comfortable on your trip.

Adene Sanchez via Getty Images

Packing a range of clothes and options will help you feel more comfortable on your trip.

If negative thoughts pop up on your trip, redirect your attention

While being mindful of the clothes you pack can help with body image, you may still struggle with negative thoughts popping up. No need to feel bad; it happens to many of us.

“My body is supporting me on this holiday,” Evans suggested. Is it digesting yummy new foods? Allowing you to swim in the ocean? Helping you play with your kids in the sand? “Research suggests that when we focus on what our body can do for us, rather than what it looks like, then we develop a better relationship with our body,” Evans said.

Treat yourself like you’d treat someone you love

“Speak as kindly to yourself as you would to a friend. Remind yourself that this is your holiday; you’ve worked hard for it and you deserve to enjoy every moment,” Mountford said. “Remind yourself that outward appearances are a desperately poor measure of contentment. Remind yourself that those around you love you as you are.”

She explained these thoughts can help you reset your focus and re-connect you to the present.

Think of other aspects outside of your body

Jones also recommended reminding yourself that you are so much more than a body ― both on vacation and at home. Think, “What makes me laugh? Who do I love, and who do I know loves me back? What fulfills me? What areas of my life do I want to nurture?” she said.

And when you’re worried other people are judging you, remember feelings aren’t facts. “You’ll likely see that almost everyone is too busy getting on with their vacation to be focusing on what your body looks like,” Evans assured.

Lastly, she shared her favorite quote from Zen Shin for when you catch yourself comparing: “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

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10 Of The Most Scenic Urban Walks In The UK

You are reading Anywhere But Here, our summer-long series on travel at home and abroad, serving up the information and inspiration you need

If there’s one thing that lockdown has made us value more, it’s going for a walk. Part of the joy in walking is discovering new and scenic areas – and you don’t have to live in the countryside to enjoy a beautiful stroll.

New research from Premier Inn has revealed the most picturesque urban walks in the UK, by analysing the walks in big towns and cites with the most Instagram photos per kilometre.

London was revealed as having some of the most picturesque urban walks, with four of the top five Instagrammed walks being located in the city.

London’s Parkland Walk was found to be the most Instagrammed overall. It stretches from Finsbury Park to Alexandra Palace and measures just under five kilometres in length. It has 2,131 hashtags per kilometre of the route and follows the course of an old railway line, with several points where you can take a good picture for the gram, including sculptures and graffiti artwork.

In second place with over 850 hashtags per kilometre is the Queen’s Walk in Southbank, London, and Regent’s Canal Walk also in London ranks in fourth place, with 447 hashtags per kilometre of its 14.5km route.

Other routes outside of London include The Forth and Clyde Canal Towpath in Scotland, which ranks in 8 place with 193 hashtags per kilometre, whilst routes in Durham and Leeds rank in 9 and 10 places.

Want to find other scenic routes in the UK? Here’s the top 10 in full:

1. Parkland Walk, London, 2131 hashtags per KM

2. The Queen’s Walk, Southbank, London, 856 hashtags per Km

3. Bath City Walk, Somerset, 820 hashtags per KM

4. Regent’s Canal Walk, London, 820 hashtags per KM

5. Thames Path, London, 349 hashtags per KM

6. Derry City Walls Walk, Londonderry, 343 hashtags per KM

7. Cambridge Colleges Walk, Cambridgeshire, 234 hashtags per KM

8. Forth & Clyde Canal Towpath, 193 hashtags per KM

9. Durham (River Banks & Maiden Castle), 182 hashtags per KM

10. Leeds, (Civic Centre & Canal), 129 hashtags per KM

Travel is the story of our summer. The rules (and traffic lights) are always changing, but one thing’s clear, we dream of being Anywhere But Here. This seasonal series offers you clear-headed travel advice, ideas-packed staycation guides, clever swaps and hacks, and a healthy dose of wanderlust.

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20 Most Picturesque Places To Move To In The UK

Lockdown has made us reassess the way we see our homes. Having spent more than 18 months being cooped up inside, many of us are considering a change of scenery.

More than a quarter of UK homeowners (29%) say they want to move house this year to get more outside space, according to the newest Home Improvement Trends Report from the tradesperson site Rated People. A quarter (25%) also want a bigger home.

And what better place to move than somewhere that is Instagram-worthy?

As part of the report, researchers analysed Instagram hashtag data for over 500 towns and cities in the UK and compared this with each place’s population size, to reveal the locations that people want to photograph the most.

Durham is seen as the most Intstagram-worthy place to live as it’s surrounded by the River Wear and boasts a beautiful romanesque cathedral. Over 2.5 million photos of Durham have been shared on Instagram, even though the population is just over 50,000 people. That means for every person there are 50 photos shared online, making it the UK’s most photographed city.

Cornish surfing town Newquay makes the list as the second most scenic place in the UK, with 42 photos shared per capita, and Stamford in Lincolnshire is third, with 32 photos.

If you’re thinking about moving or visiting somewhere new, here are 20 of the most picturesque places.

1. Durham, 2,601,061 Instagram photos

2. Newquay, 909,883 Instagram photos

3. Stamford, 653,624 Instagram photos

4. Scarborough, 1,901,394 Instagram photos

5. Manchester, 16,468,992 Instagram photos

6. Brighton, 7,075,737 Instagram photos

7. Cambridge, 4,319,044 Instagram photos

8. Falmouth, 684,587 Instagram photos

9. York, 4,554,540 Instagram photos

10. Warwick, 851,832 Instagram photos

11. Merseyside, Liverpool 14,833,871 Instagram photos

12. Oxford, 146,065 Instagram photos

13. Tyne and Wear, Newcastle upon Tyne, 5,646,656 Instagram photos

14. Edinburgh, 9,581,542 Instagram photos

15. London, 150,696,691 Instagram photos

16. Ely, Cambridgeshire, 335,558 Instagram photos

17. Canterbury, Kent, 1,028,006 Instagram photos

18. Devon, 822,303, Instagram photos

19. Margate, Kent, 870,828 Instagram photos

20. Inverness, Highland, 621,240 Instagram photos

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These 7 Tropical Destinations Are Cheaper Than UK Staycations

You are reading Anywhere But Here, our summer-long series on travel at home and abroad, serving up the information and inspiration you need.

Staycations are all the rage right now for obvious reasons. But their prices? Not so great. In fact, new research by BBC Panorama and consumer group Which? found that trips around the UK can cost an average of £300 more per week in August compared to before the pandemic.

And if you were thinking of heading to Brighton – hold your horses, it looks to be the seaside resort with the highest prices, with average rental costs almost doubling.

For one night of self-catered accommodation for two people in Brighton, it would have been £109 in 2019, but is now £206 – a rise of 89% – according data by AirDNA, which monitors websites such as Airbnb and Vrbo.

Places in St Helier in Jersey increased by 76% from 2019, while Lyme Regis on the south coast jumped up 74%.

Which? also published the differences between trips in the UK and abroad, even with flights included. The group compared prices for late August getaways for two people in the UK and overses, looking at the cheapest, highly-rated hotel available in a central location, and transport costs.

Oh, you want to go to Cornwall? It's going to cost you.

Oh, you want to go to Cornwall? It’s going to cost you.

South of France versus Brighton

According to Which’s research, a coastal break in the UK, such as Brighton, will set you back £1,131, a hotel in Nice, in the south of France costs £1,085, and that’s with flights included.

Lake Garda, Italy versus Lake District

A week in Lake Windermere in England’s Lake District costs £2,424, compared to £802 for flights and accommodation for a week in Lake Garda in northern Italy.

Corfu versus Cornwall

Get ready to have your mind blown. For a luxury three-bedroom villa with an ocean view in Carbis Bay, you’re looking at £12,000 for weekend dates in mid September (it sleeps up to six people, so that’s £2,000 a person).

Meanwhile in Corfu, Greece, prices have only increased by 13%. Search the exact same dates for flights and a five-star hotel and you can find one for as little as £273 (and you’d save further if you were to share the hotel room).

Turkey versus Cheshire

For the first available weekend in September, you’re looking at £1,895 for a week’s holiday rentals in Delamere Forest, Cheshire (that’s for four bedrooms, two beds are currently sold out).

By comparison, the cost of private accommodation in Marmaris, Turkey, has increased by just 7% since 2019. A quick search on Kayak for the same September dates throws up flight and hotel deals for as little as £230 (so, for a family of four, you’d be looking at £920). Even with the PCR costs included, a trip to Marmaris would be cheaper.

Tenerife versus Dorset

A holiday home in Berehayes Farm in Dorset for two people can cost £655 (for four people, it’s £986). In comparison, you can stay in a five-star hotel near the beach in Tenerife for £210, including flights.

Costa del Sol, Spain versus Wales

The only holiday Which? found for this August that worked out cheaper in the UK than abroad was a beach break in Tenby, Wales, compared to Estepona, on the Costa del Sol in Spain – but only by £10.

The accommodation in Tenby was still more expensive than Estepona, costing £880 for seven nights in Tenby compared to £837 for seven nights in a similarly rated hotel in Estepona. Only transport costs made the Tenby break marginally cheaper, with the journey estimated at £43, while return flights to Estepona cost an estimated £96.

And just in case you were wondering what prices were like for trips further afield – you can fly to Dubai and stay in a bouji hotel (The Hilton Garden Inn) and it will only set you back £346 at the moment. Brilliant!

Travel is the story of our summer. The rules (and traffic lights) are always changing, but one thing’s clear, we dream of being Anywhere But Here. This seasonal series offers you clear-headed travel advice, ideas-packed staycation guides, clever swaps and hacks, and a healthy dose of wanderlust.

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How To Survive Your First Holiday Together As A Couple

You are reading Anywhere But Here, our summer-long series on travel at home and abroad, serving up the information and inspiration you need.

After the 18 months we’ve had, many of us are aching for a holiday, but you might be a little hesitant about enjoying a staycation or jetting abroad with a new partner.

There are so many things to consider when you’re going on holiday with a partner for the first time. Will you argue? Will you want to do the same activities? Will their snoring be unbearable? It’s perhaps no wonder that almost a quarter (23%) of couples feel more nervous than excited about their first trip together.

A third (33%) of Brits are most nervous about using the toilet in close confines with their partner, not having any time to themselves (27%) and having their partner see how they look first thing in the morning (28%).

In the new survey by Hotels.com, 62% of Brits also said going on holiday with their significant other is a “make or break” situation. Talk about pressure.

Many see holidays as a time for indulgence, which is why 34% of Brits said the most annoying thing their partner can do on holiday is being tight with their money. Meanwhile 31% of Brits said making the hotel messy would be their biggest pet peeve and 25% said they wouldn’t want their partner to wake up late and miss the hotel buffet.

So, how do you have a successful first break? Keeping the room tidy and being open to new activities and ideas will help, as will pushing your toilet worries to one side (remember: everyone poops!) Dating coach and relationship expert Hayley Quinn also shares these tips:

Great Expectations

“Big expectations can often lead to disappointment. After a year of being cooped up, for a lot of couples, summer 2021 represents their first opportunity to go on holiday: this can create a lot of pressure for everything to go perfectly. Remember things invariably never go exactly to plan, so don’t sweat if you don’t bag the best hotel sun loungers on the first morning! Enjoy being in the moment instead.”

There’s no time like the present

“Get off the grid! And yes, that means the Instagram grid too. A holiday is a great excuse to switch off, and you may find you connect better with your partner if you factor in a few phone-free days. Get off the gram, switch on your out of the office and get yourself to the hotel bar. Doing novel activities will also help you to be more present with your partner.”

Try a mini break first

“Before committing to that two-week summer vacation, road test how your relationship works abroad by going on a mini-break. A low-pressure shorter hotel staycation will help you to iron out any potential differences before you commit to a longer haul destination.”

Money, money, money

“It may not sound sexy, but budgeting is an important part of any long-term relationship. As your lives and finances become more intertwined, it’s important that you’re on the same page with your attitude to money. As a general rule of thumb, the budget for your holiday should be affordable to the lower-income partner.”

Communication is key

“A first holiday together signals a gear shift in your relationship where perhaps things are becoming a little more serious. It may also throw up some points of incompatibility. If you’re seeing this person as a long-term partner these are actually all good conversations to have. Remember it’s not about having everything in common, to begin with; it’s about your ability to communicate and resolve any conflicts that really make the difference.”

Travel is the story of our summer. The rules (and traffic lights) are always changing, but one thing’s clear, we dream of being Anywhere But Here. This seasonal series offers you clear-headed travel advice, ideas-packed staycation guides, clever swaps and hacks, and a healthy dose of wanderlust.

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6 Stunning Flower Fields To Visit On Your Summer Staycation

You are reading Anywhere But Here, our summer-long series on travel at home and abroad, serving up the information and inspiration you need.

When we see a beautiful field of flowers, it makes us want to do one of two things: pick them or post a pic of them.

Well, we’re in luck, as it’s the Flower Farmers’ Big Weekend from August 13-15 – an invitation for flower lovers to meet growers from across the UK, explore their fields, pick an arm (or posy) full, where allowed – and generally learn what goes on behind the scenes to produce these incredible blooms.

In fact, the PYO (pick-your-own) flower scene is only growing in popularity in this country, so much so that the team at holidaycottages.co.uk have rounded up some of the prettiest flower fields to visit over the summer months.

Try not snapping this lot to the gram – we know you won’t be able to resist.

1. Dahlia Beach, Millets Farm, Oxfordshire

Millets Farm claims to be the UK’s largest pick-your-own spot for dahlias – very much the flower of the moment. As well as PYO, the farm runs workshops, such as a guide to growing borders, which takes place on the pink double decker Dahlia Beach bus.

2. Strawberry Fields, Lifton, Devon

Lifton Farm marks the changing of the seasons with an evolving range of pick-your-own experiences from strawberries to maize to sunflowers to pumpkins. August is very much sunflower time – and the farm shop is also worth a visit.

Strawberry Fields, Lifton, Devon, PL16 0DE

3. Flower Fields at Wyke Manor Estate, Worcestershire

As well as more sunflowers, the main attraction at Wyke Manor Estate is the Confetti Field, which is harvested to create petal confetti every summer. Check out the virtual field online first to plot your day.

Wick, Pershore, Worcestershire WR10 3NZ

4. Vine House Farm, Lincolnshire

Vine House Farm’s main business is bird food, but their sunflower fields are also spectacular and best seen in August. Don’t miss the shop and cafe too.

Main Road, Deeping St Nicholas, Spalding PE11 3DG

5. Blooming Green, Kent

Blooming Green’s pick-your-own haven is open every Saturday between June and October, and is particularly popular with those doing a DIY wedding. Flowers don’t get much fresher and the tea and cake is also rated very highly.

Loddington Farm, Linton, Maidstone ME17 4AG

6. Cairnie Fruit Farm, Fife

Cairnie Fruit Farm spans 120 acres of Scottish countryside and is open between June and September to visitors. It’s hard to pick what to pick: succulent berries and cherries or sunflowers and other blooms from the beautiful fields of Fife.

Cairnie, Cupar KY15 4QD

Travel is the story of our summer. The rules (and traffic lights) are always changing, but one thing’s clear, we dream of being Anywhere But Here. This seasonal series offers you clear-headed travel advice, ideas-packed staycation guides, clever swaps and hacks, and a healthy dose of wanderlust.

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Revealed: The 20 Most Photogenic Bookshops Around The World

You are reading Anywhere But Here, our summer-long series on travel at home and abroad, serving up the information and inspiration you need.

The world’s most photogenic bookshops have been crowned, with spiral staircases, ornate shelving and stain glass windows abundant.

The list of Instagram-worthy boltholes for book-lovers is based on the number of Insta hashtags associated with each location.

Taking the lead as the most picture-worthy shop is The Last Bookstore located in Los Angeles, California, with a grand total of 110,498 hashtags. The bookshop first opened its doors in 2005 and is now filled with over 250,000 new and used books, making it one of the largest independent bookstores in the world.

The US also takes second place with Powell’s based in Oregon, which has been serving as an oasis for book lovers since 1971.

Third place goes to Book and Bed in Tokyo, Japan. The bookshop doubles as a 30-bed hostel, allowing visitors to purchase books and drop off to sleep under one roof.

The UK just about made the top 10, with Daunt Books in Marylebone, London, coming in tenth place. Barter Books in Northumberland and Folyes in London’s Charing Cross also made the top 20.

Others in the list include Venice’s famous “floating bookshop” Libreria Acqua Alta, where books damaged in flooding are repurposed as outdoor furniture, plus Bart’s Books in Ojai, California, which is the world’s largest outdoor bookstore.

Check out the full list, complied by TheKnowledgeAcademy.com, below.

1. The Last Bookstore, Los Angeles, USA

2. Powell’s, Oregon, USA

3. Book and Bed, Tokyo, Japan

4. Shakespeare and Company, Paris, France

5. Livraria Lello, Porto, Portugal

6. Libreria Acqua Alta, Venice, Italy

7. Cărturești Carusel, Bucharest, Romania

8. Books Actually, formerly Tiong Bahru, Singapore, now online

9. City Lights Books, San Francisco, USA

10. Daunt Books, London, UK

11. Barter Books, Northumberland, UK

12. El Ateneo Grand Splendid, Buenos Aires, Argentina.

13. Ler Davagar, Lisbon, Portugal

14. El Pendulo, Mexico City, Mexico

15. Atlantis Books, Santorini, Greece

16. Folyes Bookshop, London, UK

17. Strand Book Store, New York City, USA

18. Boekhandel Dominicanen, Maastricht, Netherlands

19. Cook & Book, Brussels, Belgium

20. Bart’s Books, Ojai, USA

Travel is the story of our summer. The rules (and traffic lights) are always changing, but one thing’s clear, we dream of being Anywhere But Here. This seasonal series offers you clear-headed travel advice, ideas-packed staycation guides, clever swaps and hacks, and a healthy dose of wanderlust.

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