Category Archives: Mental Health

This Is What Your Bedtime Procrastination Is Doing To Your Sleep Quality

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Do you ever find yourself putting off going to bed? It’s so strange, we complain about how tired we are all day, how much we’d love just a couple more hours in bed but when the time actually comes, suddenly there’s another episode we need to watch, another chapter to read, just one more scroll of social media.

We’re our own worst enemies.

According to Max Kirsten, Resident Sleep Expert for Panda London, this is actually something called ‘bedtime procrastination’ or ‘bedtime delay’ and it is the act of unnecessarily delaying going to bed despite having the intention to sleep.

What is bedtime procrastination and how do we overcome it?

According to Kirsten, there are several factors that contribute to bedtime procrastination:

Psychological factors

Kirsten warns that stress, anxiety, and mood disorders can contribute to bedtime procrastination. Even just the thought of facing another day, unresolved issues at work or home, can make bedtime seem daunting, prompting sleep delaying as a temporary distraction.

Poor time management

If you’re prone to procrastination throughout the day, that is likely to seep into your evening, warns Kirsten. This can lead to people postponing bedtime in favour of completing tasks or indulging in leisure activities.

Spending too much time with screens and technology

The convenience of phones and tablets means that it’s easier than ever to engage in stimulating activities late into the night. The blue light emitted from these screens can interfere with our sleep-wake cycle, making it harder to fall asleep, even once the devices have been put away.

How bedtime procrastination impacts our sleep

Disrupts the circadian rhythm

Kirsten warns that consistently delaying bedtime can disrupt the body’s internal clock, making it harder to fall asleep and wake up at the same time each day. This inconsistency can then lead to sleep disturbances and contribute to insomnia and sleep deprivation.

Poor sleep quality

Even if you do fall asleep after procrastinating, the quality of your sleep may be compromised. According to Kirsten, sleep that is fragmented or interrupted by frequent awakenings is less restorative and can leave individuals feeling groggy and unrefreshed upon waking.

Impact moods and mental health

Sleeping poorly can impact your mental health and emotional well-being, leading to irritability, mood swings, difficulty concentrating and heightened stress levels. Kirsten urges that over time, chronic sleep deprivation may contribute to the development or exacerbation of anxiety and depression.

How to stop procrastinating before bed

Make sure you have a consistent routine

Kirsten recommends that you establish a regular bedtime and wake-up time and ensure that you stick to it even on weekends as consistency helps to regulate the body’s internal clock and promotes better sleep quality.

Create a relaxing bedtime routine

Developing a calming bedtime routine signals to your body that it’s time to wind down. Kirsten recommends reading, taking a warm bath or trying some relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation.

Limit screen time before bed

Avoid using electric devices for at least an hour before bed, as the blue light emitted from them can interfere with melatonin production and disrupt sleep.

Address any underlying issues

If you feel that stress, anxiety, or mood disorders are the underlying cause of your procrastination, seek support from a mental health professional.

Help and support:

  • Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
  • Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
  • CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
  • The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
  • Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.
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We Are Therapists – Here’s How To Stop Seeking Approval From Others

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According to Psychology Today, 85% of people worldwide report having low levels of self-esteem.

Self-esteem relates to how we think and feel about ourselves and how much value we believe we have as individuals, according to NHS Inform. This means that if your self-esteem is low, you’re more likely to focus on your setbacks than your successes. Additionally, people with low self-esteem often ignore their own achievements and positive things about themselves and tend to be needlessly self-critical.

When we’re experiencing these confidence dips, it’s likely that we’ll look for validation of who we are in other people — a behaviour known as ‘seeking external validation’, according to Psych Central.

If this all sounds familiar to you, advice from licensed therapists Nick Tangeman and Dr. Jim from podcast ‘Pod Therapy’ might be exactly what you need.

How to overcome low self-esteem

Back in April this year, the therapists took to social media platform Reddit saying, “We are Therapists hosting a R-Rated podcast called “Pod Therapy”, Ask Us Anything for Mental Health Awareness Month!”

One user, So1337, asked”, “It took me a long time to realise that I was constantly seeking my esteem and sense of self-worth from others. What are some things I can do to 1) look inward for my own worth and 2) stop seeking validation so much?”

The therapists responded to the commenter saying, “First, it’s not inherently bad to get a sense of ourselves from the perspectives of others. Humans are social animals, we value community and its normal for us to want to please others and desire their approval.

“However, as you’ve realised, this often becomes toxic to us. Maybe the people we look to for approval will never give it, can’t give it, or have a myopic view of reality and we shouldn’t trust their judgement of us in the first place. Maybe people around us see our conspicuous flaws and fail to be curious or interested in who we really are. Or maybe we are just surrounded by assholes.”

The therapists then recommended taking the following steps:

Reflect on who you are as a person

The therapists unsurprisingly recommended looking inwards as the first step saying, “Get a list of personality description words from the internet. Look through that list and circle as many positive qualities about yourself as you can find which you relate to. Then reflect on each of the words you circled, recalling memories and experiences you’ve had which you feel exemplify that word.

“Make it a ritual in your life to review your day, your week, your month and your year through the lens of what your personal goals for yourself were, where you’ve grown as a person, and what you are proud of.”

They said this is important because, “part of how we let go of the voices of others is to consciously hear our own voice, so we have to make this a practice in your life.”

Be direct about your needs

The therapists pointed out that when we’re looking for external validation, we’re often doing so passively and laying expectations without actually indicating what we need. They said, “While it’s natural to seek validation from others, we often do so in a passive way that is unsatisfying. We are *hoping* somebody will thank us, compliment us or affirm us.

“We post online that we are sad or feeling down to fish for some positive feedback (which isn’t wrong to do). But a better way is to approach a few quality people in your life from time to time and tell them that you need a reminder of what they like about you, or admire in you, and ask if that is something they can take a moment to give you.

″I like being direct and honest about what we need from others because it gives them an opportunity to think about it and get closer to providing what we need.”

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This Is What Matthew Perry Wanted Us To Understand About Addiction

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The sad news of Matthew Perry’s death has sent a shockwave around the world. The actor, who fought addiction his entire life, made it his life’s work to help others struggling with substance abuse.

Perry was predominantly known for his role as Chandler Bing in the hit sit-com series Friends, a role that saw him nominated for countless awards and winner of the Golden Derby Award for Drama Guest Actor in 2012, the Huading Award for Best Global Actor in a Television Series in 2013, the TV Guide Award’s Editor’s Choice in 2000.

However, his activism and determination to bring a deeper, more nuanced understanding of what addiction is, how it impacts people and why it affects some people more than others is his lasting legacy.

Talking with The New York Times in 2022, Perry discussed his addiction in detail, which began at just 14 years old with Budweiser and Andrès Baby Duck wine. Later, this addiction grew to include vodka, Vicodin, Xanax and OxyContin (to name a few):

“I would fake back injuries. I would fake migraine headaches. I had eight doctors going at the same time,” Perry told The New York Times.

“I would wake up and have to get 55 Vicodin that day, and figure out how to do it. When you’re a drug addict, it’s all math. I go to this place, and I need to take three. And then I go to this place, and I’m going to take five because I’m going to be there longer. It’s exhausting but you have to do it or you get very, very sick. I wasn’t doing it to feel high or to feel good. I certainly wasn’t a partyer; I just wanted to sit on my couch, take five Vicodin and watch a movie. That was heaven for me. It no longer is.”

In several interviews following the release of his memoir, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, Perry approximated that he had spent around $9 million trying to get and stay clean. He attended six thousand AA meetings, 30 years of therapy, 15 years at rehab clinics, and an estimated 65 detoxes throughout his life. His determination and empathy for those suffering from addiction led him to speak out against addiction misinformation and disinformation.

On an episode of BBC News Night in December 2013, Perry called out journalist Peter Hitchins who was in opposition to the use of drug courts, known as substance misuse courts in the UK, a public health-focused approach to drug addiction-related crimes. Drug courts allow judges to send offenders to rehabilitation for treatment before sentencing and are said to help prevent future offending.

When asked by presenter Jeremy Paxman: “How do you know that these people wouldn’t have quit their drug habit anyway?” Perry was compassionate in his explanation of how the process can “interrupt” the downward spiral that leads to further criminal convictions, “rather than throwing people away”.

When Hitchins said referring to addiction as a disease was “fantasy” and a “choice”, Perry dismissed the disinformation by explaining the classification of addiction as a disease of the brain and an allergy of the body, adding: “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” and suggested Hitchins read the research and evidence available.

But his compassion and empathy for the struggle of addicts didn’t just stop with correcting myths and misinformation. Over the years, Perry sponsored other addicts in their recovery and advocated for their rights.

Matthew Perry and the cast of Friends join James Corden for a Friends Reunion Special during The Late Late Show with James Corden.

CBS Photo Archive via Getty Images

Matthew Perry and the cast of Friends join James Corden for a Friends Reunion Special during The Late Late Show with James Corden.

Last year, speaking about himself, Perry said “The best thing about me, bar none, is that if somebody comes up to me and says: ‘I can’t stop drinking, can you help me?’ I can say yes and follow up and do it. That’s the best thing.

He wanted people to understand the fight people with addiction face, saying: “Your disease is outside doing one-armed push-ups just waiting for you, waiting to get you alone, because alone, you lose to the disease.”

Perry chose to be outspoken about institutions like Alcohol Anonymous, explaining; “It suggests that there’s a stigma and that we have to hide. This is not a popular opinion, by the way.”

He often put his money where his mouth was. One such example was Perry turning his $10 million Malibu mansion into a sober living facility called Perry’s House in 2012. The following year, his project received an award from the White House.

His memoir opens with the sobering line, “Hi my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name, my friends call me Maddie and I should be dead.”

Throughout the book, Perry details extremely frightening dances with death and addiction. Living through many near-death experiences, from an exploding colon to pancreatitis in his 30s, it wasn’t until he was faced with the possible future of living with a permanent colostomy bag that made him examined his addiction differently.

“My mind is trying to kill me and I know it,” he wrote.

Perry wanted people to understand that addiction wasn’t as simplistic as wanting to use drugs and alcohol. He wanted people to see the bigger picture when it came to addiction and for them to be receptive to suffering people’s openness.

In an interview with Diane Sawyer in 2022 for ABC News, he said, “Secrets kill you. Secrets kill people like me.

He knew that people couldn’t overcome addiction alone, and so, using his stratospheric fame from Friends he chose to speak out on what substance abuse looks like, how it tears people apart and the deep shame and stigma surrounding addiction.

Perry’s death is a saddening blow. His parting gift to us, aside from his comedic genius and acting prowess, is his vulnerable and honest account of a life lived with addiction.

Perry has shown the world over that it’s OK to fall down, so long as you get back up — and keep on getting back up. And that to do so, you mustn’t do it alone.

Help and support:

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Neuroscientist Shares 5-Step Guide To Help Kids Handle Life’s Challenges

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If there’s one thing we all know about life, it’s that nothing is ever simple. We all make mistakes, things inevitably go wrong, so how is best to react when these issues do crop up? And how can we, as parents, help our kids navigate these tricky waters?

Caroline Leaf is a cognitive neuroscientist, mental health expert, and mum of four. She recommends something called ‘the Neurocycle’ which is essentially five steps for mind-management when things go wrong, that both parents and children can use.

Leaf, who authored the book How to Help Your Child Clean up Their Mental Mess, explains that the Neurocycle is a five-step process that harnesses the brain’s ability to change and can help children develop their mental resilience and manage their mental health.

“A great way to explain this process to your child is by telling them that the Neurocycle is like having a superpower, one that they can use throughout their life when they feel sad, when they’re mad or upset, or even when they are happy and just want to learn something new,” Leaf tells HuffPost UK.

It’s all about transforming negative or disruptive thinking patterns into healthy thoughts and habits.

“We all have ‘messy’ minds as we manage the daily struggles of life,” she says. The Neurocycle is a way to control that “mess” and “optimise resilience with brain-boosting strategies and practices like gratitude, joy and kindness”.

What are the steps?

1. Gather awareness

Gain a comprehensive understanding of how you’re feeling mentally and physically.

“Consider any warning signals that take shape through your behaviour, because this means your body is trying to tell you something important,” says Leaf.

2. Reflect

This bit is all about taking a step back and considering why you’re feeling the way you do.

3. Write, play or draw

Organise your thinking and reflections to gain insight.

“For adults and older kids or teens, write down your reflections. For younger children, it might make more sense to draw or play to bring subconscious feelings to light,” says the neuroscientist.

4. Recheck

Once you’ve created a clearer picture of how you’re feeling, accept the experience and think about how you can view it in a new light, so it no longer controls how you feel.

5. Active reach

This involves a thought or activity that distracts you from the negative emotions and keeps you from getting stuck with your toxic patterns.

How do I do this with my kids?

First, help your child gather awareness of how they are feeling by observing their warning signals more deeply. For example:

  • “I feel worried and frustrated” = emotional warning signal.
  • “I have an upset tummy” = bodily sensation warning signal.
  • “I want to cry and not talk to anyone” = behaviour warning signal.
  • “I hate school” = perspective warning signal.

Now, walk them through the reflecting stage, helping them consider why they feel this way, and then write, play or draw what they feel, which will help them better understand what their warning signals are pointing to.

During this stage you can encourage them to ask themselves questions like: Why do I feel sad and frustrated? Why is my tummy sore? Why do I want to cry and not talk to anyone?

The fourth step, recheck, requires parents to encourage children “to explore their feelings and thoughts and try to find a way to make what happened to them better,” says Leaf.

So, for example, if a child is worried about a bully, you could offer them another way to look at it. Leaf suggests you could say something like: “Maybe the bully is dealing with some issues at home, or maybe someone else is bullying them.

“All of their frightened energy is resulting in them treating you in an unkind way. That doesn’t make it right, but it may help you feel sorry for them and walk away without feeling bad about yourself.”

And lastly, active reach is a bit like taking a treatment or medicine each day to help their thinking and feelings get better.

“Help your child come up with ways they can do this when they are feeling overwhelmed or unwell,” suggests Leaf.

“This step is characterised by actions and things your child can do that are pleasant and happy, which stabilise what they have learned and anchor them in a peaceful place of acceptance.”

The last step is all about teaching children to try and look for solutions instead of getting “stuck in their emotions”, concludes the neuroscientist, which is important for building their mental resilience.

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It’s Not Your Imagination: Brits Haven’t Been This Unhappy In Over A Decade

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After Brexit, Covid, and now a cost of living crisis, this perhaps won’t be surprising to hear but as a nation, we’re not doing so well when it comes to happiness.

In fact, according to the LifeSearch Health, Wealth, and Happiness report, 25% of us are less happy today than we were a year ago – this level of unhappiness has not been reported in over a decade.

It does make sense given the turmoil we’ve faced over these years but a huge reason is also the loneliness many of us have faced since the start of the pandemic. In fact, one million people are feeling lonelier now than they were pre-pandemic and according to the report, 4.2 million Brits state that they have no friends at all.

Bestie Britain

So, it’s not all bad news, one in two Brits has somebody they’d describe as their best friend with 61% of women saying they do and 50% of men. Those that have best friends on average feel significantly happier 61% than the national average of just 26% of people.

However, outside of these besties, many of us don’t have more close friends or even people we’d consider friends at-all. 36% of us wish that we were closer to our mates with half that wished they were closer admitting they’re feeling less happy than they were a year ago.

There’s no way to avoid, even as the world begins to recover from the years that have passed, the fact that our social lives took a serious hit during Covid-19 and for many of us, the world still feels strange. Additionally, last year it was reported that one in three Brits had fallen out with friends or relatives due to the pressures of the pandemic.

All of this paints a worrying picture of our overall wellbeing as a nation at a time when being closer together is increasingly important.

How to make friends as an adult

This is something that can feel incredibly awkward, especially as an adult but if the Health, Wealth, and Happiness Report is anything to go by, a lot of us are in the same boat and looking to connect with the people around us as well as new potential friends.

Emma Walker, the Chief Growth Officer at LifeSearch who commissioned the study said: “Maybe it’s the nature of our busy lives or an impact of the pandemic lockdowns, but many Brits admit to not seeing their mates as much as they like and wish they had closer bonds.

“It may be no surprise to see in our Health, Wealth & Happiness study the correlation that the nation’s happiness is at its lowest point today in over a decade too. Making time and effort to build and nurture friendships could be the key to improving our happiness again.”

According to Self, some of the best ways to make friends as an adult are:

  • Find a way to meet people who share the same interests or hobbies
  • Try to look and be approachable as a person – put your phone away now and then!
  • Have a positive attitude when meeting new people
  • Invite somebody you met and liked in a group setting to hang out one-on-one
  • Consider turning your work friends into real friends
  • Tell people you enjoy their company!

Of course, it’s also worth nourishing the relationships that you already have by making plans, sharing new information or anecdotes about shared interests or even simply telling them that you’d like to spend time with them more often.

Most of all, know that you’re not alone in this and many people feel exactly the same way.

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Next Time You Make A Negative Comment About Your Kid, Remember The 3-1 Ratio

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Having good self-esteem is so important for our mental health – and with social media being exceptionally popular now, it can feel harder than ever to keep our kids feeling confident about themselves and their bodies.

Self-esteem is how a person feels about themselves. According to the charity Young Minds, most children will have dips in self-esteem as they go through different stages or challenges in life, such as bullying or sitting exams.

And as parents, it can be tough to know what to do to help them through these dips in how they feel about, and view, themselves.

Signs of low self-esteem in children

According to the mental health charity, children and young people with low self-esteem might regularly:

  • have a negative image of themselves
  • lack confidence
  • find it hard to make and keep friendships
  • feel lonely and isolated
  • tend to avoid new things and find change hard
  • can’t deal well with failure
  • tend to put themselves down
  • are not proud of what they achieve
  • always think they could have done better
  • are constantly comparing themselves to their peers in a negative way.

Thankfully there are some relatively easy ways we, as parents, can help boost our children’s self-esteem.

Apply the 3-1 ratio to everyday life

It’s pretty hard to never utter a negative comment to your child (especially when you’ve reached the end of your tether and they’ve been pushing your buttons all day).

According to Big Life Journal, a popular Instagram account offering parenting advice, for every negative comment you make about your child, you should then balance it out with three positive ones.

So, for example, if your child spilled a drink everywhere and you reacted with: “I can’t believe you did that. Why can’t you just hold your cup?”

The experts behind the account advise following up with at least three positive comments to your child that day. So things like: “I noticed you shared with your brother, thank you” or “thank you for putting your jumper away”.

“Scientists discovered that it takes three positive experiences to offset one negative experience,” they wrote in an Instagram post.

“Your child’s brain is wired to remember and focus on negative comments. So, to build your child’s self-esteem, apply this 3-1 ratio.”

Other ways to boost self-esteem, according to Young Minds, include:

  • Let them know you value effort rather than perfection
  • Encourage them to try new challenges
  • Encourage them to voice their opinions and ideas
  • Ask them about three good things that went well during their day
  • Acknowledge how they feel and help them to express this in words
  • Spend quality time together doing things they enjoy.
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‘My Body Is Craving A Break’: This Is What It Feels Like To Be ‘Touched Out’

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As a breastfeeding mother of three, Krystal Duhaney is no stranger to the sensation of being “touched out”. She describes it as “reaching the point where you just want a little breathing room from constant physical contact”.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love cuddling and snuggling with my little ones, but there are moments when I feel like I’ve had enough,” Duhaney, a registered nurse, lactation consultant and founder of MilkyMama, told HuffPost.

“Imagine having tiny hands tugging at your clothes, clinging to your legs, lifting up your shirt, and constantly wanting to be held. It can be overwhelming, especially when you add breastfeeding into the mix. Sometimes, all you want is a moment of personal space to recharge and gather your thoughts.”

This phenomenon is most often reported by mothers, but any parent or caregiver can experience it. Some have described it as a skin-crawling or claustrophobic feeling. For Duhaney, being touched out can make her feel “a bit irritable and impatient”.

“It’s like my body is craving a break from the never-ending physical demands,” she said. “It doesn’t mean I love my children any less. It’s just a natural reaction to the constant touch and sensory stimulation.”

Parents may feel touched out for any number of reasons. The near-constant physical contact when taking care of young children, especially, is a big contributor – think nursing, rocking, holding, cuddling, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, etc. Personal space and alone time are in short supply when you have a baby or a toddler.

“Breastfeeding demands, especially when coupled with frequent nursing sessions, can add to the feeling of being touched out,” Duhaney said.

“Sometimes, all you want is a moment of personal space to recharge and gather your thoughts.”

– Krystal Duhaney, mother and lactation consultant

Plus, there’s the “sensory overload from the combination of physical touch, noise and other stimuli,” which can be overstimulating to moms, she added. This may be especially pronounced for mothers with ADHD or other neurodivergent parents.

The heavy mental and emotional burdens of modern parenthood – like the pursuit of trying to “do it all” – likely play a role in feeling touched out, too, experts say.

“There isn’t much space left to think about yourself when you are worrying and thinking about your child, spouse, and all the other tasks you are responsible for,” marriage and family therapist Gayane Aramyan told HuffPost.

Naturally, all of this can take a toll on your relationship with your partner, too. Aramyan said her clients who are mothers often tell her they “literally don’t want to be touched anymore at the end of the day” and “just want their own space”.

“It’s really hard to make space for the family members who are not infants to have close intimate touching when you have an infant hanging off of you all day,” psychologist Louise Packard told Motherly.

If you’re feeling touched out, here’s how to cope

“Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee alone, taking a quick walk, or simply locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes of peace, those moments of solitude can work wonders," Duhaney said.

urbazon via Getty Images

“Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee alone, taking a quick walk, or simply locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes of peace, those moments of solitude can work wonders,” Duhaney said.

First, know that as unpleasant as this sensation can be, it is a very common experience and is in no way a reflection of your parenting abilities or the love you have for your family.

Mums often feel guilty for being touched out, but they shouldn’t: Bodily autonomy is a “normal human need,” psychologist Jessica Combs Rohr wrote in a blog post for Psychology Today.

“A fun thing about motherhood is you almost always feel like you are being a bad mother if you have a normal human reaction to difficult experiences,” she wrote in the story.

When you’ve reached your touch limit, communicate that to your family. Explain that you love them, but you need some time or space for yourself right now.

When you’re not so overwhelmed, have an honest conversation with your partner about what you’re feeling. That will help them understand what you’re dealing with and realise it isn’t personal.

“Set some boundaries and ask for support,” Duhaney said. “Your partner, family or friends can help share the load and give you some breathing room.”

Try to schedule some “me” time every day — even if a few minutes is all you can manage.

“It can be as small as 10 minutes before everybody else waking up,” Aramyan said. “Or taking 10 minutes during your child’s nap to not do anything but sit and read, or meditate. It’s important to fill our cup not just with girls’ nights or date nights or exercise, but to have something that happens daily for us to get something done for ourselves.”

Duhaney said it’s also important to give yourself permission to take breaks without feeling guilty about it.

“It’s OK to step away and recharge. Find moments throughout the day to steal some personal space,” she said. “Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee alone, taking a quick walk, or simply locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes of peace, those moments of solitude can work wonders.”

Connecting with other parents who understand firsthand what you’re going through can also help.

“Find online communities or local mom groups where you can share your experiences, vent, and get advice from moms who’ve been there,” Duhaney said. “Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone in feeling touched out can bring a sense of relief and validation.”

If your partner is the one feeling touched out, here’s how you can help

If you’re the partner of a touched-out mum, be supportive and understanding. Respect her boundaries, which may mean putting your desire for physical affection on the back burner temporarily.

“Show empathy and understanding by acknowledging her feelings and validating her experiences,” Duhaney said. “Let her know that you’re there for her and ready to help in any way you can.”

Make sure you’re pulling your weight when it comes to caregiving and other household responsibilities. See where you can do more to lighten her load.

“Offer to take over some tasks, such as feeding, diaper changes or bedtime routines, to give her a break,” Duhaney said. “By sharing the load, you’ll provide her with the opportunity to recharge and have some much-needed personal space.”

“Pay attention to signs of her feeling overwhelmed and step in to assist before she reaches her breaking point.”

– Duhaney

Be proactive about stepping up without always needing prompting or reminders from your partner.

“Anticipate her needs and offer help without waiting to be asked. Pay attention to signs of her feeling overwhelmed and step in to assist before she reaches her breaking point,” Duhaney said. “Proactively taking care of household chores or offering a listening ear can go a long way in easing her burden and making her feel supported.”

For the time being, sex may feel like yet another thing she has to do for someone else — but there are many other ways to foster intimacy. Maybe that’s getting a date night on the calendar once a month, setting aside 15 minutes at night to talk about stuff other than kids or household logistics, holding hands while watching TV or giving her a foot rub after a long day.

Encourage your partner to prioritize time for herself and help her make it happen.

“Support her in taking time for herself, whether it’s a relaxing bath, a solo outing, or pursuing a hobby she enjoys,” Duhaney said. “Offer to take care of the kids during those times, so she can fully focus on rejuvenating herself.”

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Turns Out Men And Women Experience Very Differently – Here’s Why

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Depression is an extremely common mental illness, affecting 1 in 6 adults in the UK and usually in combination with other mental health conditions like anxiety, stress, and loneliness. It’s still a massively undertreated condition with only 15% of women getting treatment for it and 9% of men. Women are also twice as likely to experience depression than men.

The differences don’t end there, though.

It turns out that the way the two sexes react to and experience the symptoms of depression are different, too.

Depression Between The Sexes

Depression can hit as early in life as adolescence and for girls, this means struggling with body image, guilt, feelings of failure, difficulty concentrating and general sadness. For boys, this manifests as losing interest in their usual activities and to be more downcast and tired in the morning.

As they get older, women are more likely to see their depression manifesting with stress, sadness, and sleep problems while men will experience irritability and anger outbursts.

It is also worth noting that transgender teens are at a much more elevated risk of developing depression and half of LGBTQI+ people have experienced depression, with three in five also suffering from anxiety.

Why Do The Sexes Experience Depression Differently?

A new study of over 270,000 participants found that prediction methods that take into account gender are more precise in determining an individual’s genetic predisposition to depression than those that do not consider gender.

Until now, depression has been treated without gender being considered but this research has highlighted the importance of gender-based treatments due to both the body’s development of the illness and the widely different ways that it can manifest.

The researchers found 11 sections of DNA associated with depression in women and only a single section in men.

This study also found that depression was linked to metabolic diseases like diabetes and also linked to obesity in women.

Researchers hope that this first-of-its-kind study will help to guide future gender-specific treatment.

Get Help With Depression

If you’re struggling with depression or think you could be, speak to your GP to get the support that you need. Treatments for depression can include talking therapies and medication. Your GP will work with you to identify the best treatment for you. The mental health charity Mind has advice on resources for mental health self-help too.

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Nick Jonas Describes The Public Mishap That Led Him To Seek Therapy

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Nick Jonas said this week that a botched guitar solo at the 2016 Academy of Country Music Awards led him to see a therapist.

The youngest member of the pop sibling trio the Jonas Brothers discussed stage anxiety on the Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard podcast Monday, recalling what he called the “tragic guitar solo debacle”.

Jonas was backing up Kelsea Ballerini on her song Peter Pan and he’d rehearsed, he said, for what seemed like a “million times”. He said was “feeling really confident about it.”

“I started off, it’s fine, and as I walked towards her, I just went completely blank and I hit a wrong note and blacked out, basically, and clocked that it was wrong and I couldn’t stop,” the “Jealous” singer said.

Jonas took a ribbing on social media and tried to shrug off the mishap as a “brain fart”. But the effects were long-lasting.

“In retrospect, I can kind of laugh about how big I thought it was. But it did travel more than I wish it would’ve, and it did cause me to go into therapy,” he said.

“To this day and [after] hours of unpacking it, I can’t really figure out exactly what happened, but I was rushed right into a car and right to a plane after it.

“And I looked at my manager, I was like, ‘I think that was bad’. I was in shock, kind of. And then it was like a really traumatic moment that shaped the pressure I put on myself to be perfect and to always be ‘on.’”

Jonas recalled other mishaps, like forgetting lyrics when he performed on Broadway in Annie Get Your Gun as a boy, but he called the CMA blunder “the worst moment”.

Here’s a longer look at it, beginning at 1:32:30:

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The Jonas Brothers, who got back together in 2019, are set to tour extensively in August, September and October.

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