Though I’ve had insomnia for years, I’ve managed to find some tools to help me stay asleep at night.
“Clock-blocking”, getting out of bed when I can’t get back to sleep, and even enjoying a morning stroll have all helped me recover from my 3am wake-ups.
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So, too, does my Bluetooth eye mask, which allows me to play “white noise” as I slumber.
But speaking to HuffPost UK, sleep expert Dr Deborah Lee from Doctor Fox (who’s paired with Bed Factory Direct) said it shouldn’t be the only sound in my arsenal.
“Certain types of background noise, also known as coloured noise, can actually improve sleep quality, reduce overnight disturbances and also help you fall asleep quicker,” she told us.
One of those is “pink noise”, which the doctor revealed is best for deep sleep and even memories.
What is pink noise?
I’ll admit I’d never heard of the noise until Dr Lee told me about it.
But it turns out it’s a pretty technical term: pink noise, also known as 1/f noise, fractional noise, or fractal noise, contains all audible frequencies.
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Though white noise offers the same range, pink noise decreases the intensity of sound at a rate of three decibels per octave.
Basically, that means “pink noise is a slightly deeper version of white noise,” Dr Lee said.
“An example of pink noise would be rustling leaves or ocean waves – some sounds that people find extremely relaxing.”
The doctor added: “Pink noise has been shown to enhance deep sleep, but also improve memory.”
A 2020 paper found that participants who listened to an increasingly quiet pink noise machine while falling asleep not only nodded off faster, but slept deeper.
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Research from 2022 also suggested that older adults who fell asleep saw an increase in slow wave sleep, linked to memory consolidation.
What are some types of pink noise I can listen to at night?
You can find pink noise playlists or even buy a pink noise machine (though they’re harder to find than white noise options).
“Everyone’s brain responds differently to sounds,” Dr Lee said. “However, what is clear is that the right kind of noise, when used consistently, can make a huge difference in not just getting to sleep, but staying asleep too.
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“It’s worth playing around with different sounds to find the right sound for you, as not everyone will have the same response.”
You may already know how many sit-ups and push-ups you’re meant to be able to do by age and gender, as well as how long you’ll ideally be able to hold a plank or stand on one leg.
But what about your balance and stability – factors Harvard Health says can influence your risk of falling and injury, and which are key to pain-free running?
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The key to ensuring those are in the best possible nick, they add, is strengthening your core (a group of muscles that extends far beyond the six-pack abs you may associate with a strong core).
As it turns out, the best way to test your core strength also seems to reveal the strength of your hip flexors too – all key muscles to prevent running injury.
Try a unilateral hip bridge endurance test (UHBE)
A 2016 paper sought to find the best way to measure core strength at a clinical level.
The scientists assessed two common core stability tests: the trunk stability test (TST) and the unilateral hip bridge endurance test (UHBE).
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The TST is essentially a push-up test. It asks participants to lie face down on the ground and push their body up with their hands planted on the floor.
Their back, shoulders, and knees should not sag or dip. This test is scored from 0-3, with 0 meaning they failed to complete the move and had pain (3 is a perfect, pain-free push-up).
They are asked to keep their hips straight, avoiding dipping up buckling, for about 10 seconds. Pain, inability to complete the move to the full 10 seconds, and not feeling the move in your glutes can all be signs of issues.
Researchers found that compared to the TST, the UBHE test seemed to be far better at gauging your core strength, especially as it relates to your lower body.
It’s also a great way to assess your glute and hip strength, and because it’s a unilateral move, you can see whether one side is weaker than the other.
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Try as I might (and believe me, I’ve tried), I constantly manage to wake up hot and sweaty at 3am.
I’ve always attributed that to my insomnia. But hormone and sleep specialists have shared my issues might be partly down to my biology.
We know it’s crucial to keep bedrooms cool (experts recommend 16-18°C) to be able to sleep well – and this is perhaps even more important for women.
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When a study found rising temperatures are impacting sleep globally, it also revealed women were impacted more than men. The Guardian noted “women’s bodies cool earlier in the evening than men’s when going to sleep, meaning higher night time temperatures may have a bigger impact on women”.
Women’s slightly higher core body temperatures can also make us “feel” external cold and warmth more intensely, Dr Karan Rajan previously shared.
Women appear to wake up overheated more often than men – but why?
Dr Renee Young, an endocrinologist and founder of the Young Naturopathic Centre For Wellness, told Pretty You London that “hormones like oestrogen and progesterone play a central role in how the brain regulates body temperature”.
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She added: “Even slight fluctuations can confuse the body into thinking it needs to cool down. That often looks like a hot flush or a sudden sweat episode, especially at night.”
These are not exclusive to menopause or perimenopause, though both of these can lead to similar symptoms.
“Women in midlife often have a lower stress threshold… Higher cortisol levels, especially when they don’t follow their normal rhythm, can interfere with sleep and make overheating worse,” she shared.
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How can I stop overheating at night?
Though you might be tempted to take a cooling shower before settling down, NHS GP Dr Hana Patel said this may not be the answer.
“A cold shower can cause your body to generate more heat as a response,” she advised, while the cool-down period following a warm shower “tells your brain it’s time to sleep”.
Wearing thinner pyjamas, avoiding heavy bedding, and even keeping your partner out of your bed (if needed) may help, The Sleep Foundation said.
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Whatever the cause, though, you should see your GP if your sleep is consistently interrupted.
“Menopause and hormonal changes don’t have to steal your sleep,” Dr Fogarty-Draper stressed. “When we understand the cause, we can take back control.”
Bad news for them. I have another running obsession.
“Jeffing,” named after Olympian and author Jeff Galloway, is a kind of lower-key fartlek (another 10/10 name). If both of those terms sound like gobbledegook, they refer to a period of slower walking (or running) before bursts of higher-energy sprints or jogging.
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Jeffing, also known as the “run walk run” or Galloway method, is ideal for beginners – a version of it is often used by Couch To 5K apps.
But Galloway himself said that non-stop runners who adapt to the method correctly run “an average of 7 minutes faster in a 13.1-mile race” and over 13 minutes faster in a marathon.
Personally, it’s transformed my 10K time.
How does “Jeffing” work?
You can pick a ratio of walking to running that works for you. That might be 1:1 at the start (so one minute running to one minute walking).
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As you progress, you might like to try 1:4 (30 seconds of walking for two minutes of running).
Women’s Running reported that Galloway doesn’t recommend more than a 30-second walk break if you’re trying to up your pace; you can stack these up if you save them, though.
For instance, if you choose a 1:4 pace, you can run for four minutes and walk for a minute instead of going for two minutes on and 30 seconds off.
You can use distance as a marker, too, or a combination of distance and time. I like having a 30-second walk at the end of each kilometre.
In general, Women’s Running pointed out, the more improvement you want to see in your pace, the shorter the walking sessions should be.
What are the benefits of “Jeffing”?
A 2016 paper found that runners who did a combination of running and walking in marathons had similar finish times to races run non-stop, but faced less muscle strain.
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Galloway said he invented the method to combat muscle fatigue, lower injury rate (especially over long distances), and keep beginners motivated.
“By shifting back and forth between walking and running muscles, you distribute the workload among a variety of muscles, increasing your overall performance capacity,” he said.
“For veteran marathoners, this is often the difference between achieving a time goal or not.”
I’ve been more motivated to complete my runs and, to my shock, have since shaved six minutes off my 10K time (though part of it might be that I’m more excited to get running knowing I’ll have breaks, leading to more practice).
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The method has improved my muscle recovery time, too.
Longevity seems to be the word of the moment, with the exciting potential for a longer, healthier life capturing the attention of millionaires and the Vatican alike.
But while the more extreme steps some take in the hopes of an unnaturally extended lifespan may grab headlines, expert after expert recommends simple steps: eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, and stay social.
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Author and public health researcher Professor Devi Sridhar, whose longevity-focused book How Not To Die (Too Soon) is set to come out on 12 June, says even that doesn’t take it far enough.
“Have you ever questioned why, despite the avalanche of self-help books and optimisation hacks, we remain embroiled in multiple global health crises?” her book’s blurb reads.
“The stark reality is that we’ve been sold a monumental lie.”
HuffPost UK spoke to Professor Sridhar about some of those myths.
Myth #1: Your lifespan is completely in your hands
Professor Sridhar’s book focuses on how individual health tips “distract” us from the reality: our lifespan isn’t all in our control.
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A Social Determinants Of Health paper found that “40% of an individual’s health is determined by socioeconomic factors such as education, occupation, or income,” compared to only 30% determined by lifestyle choices (such as not drinking or exercising).
So, she said, we should see government policy as a far more effective way to “significantly extend our lifespans” than the latest superfood.
Myth #2: Lifespans are getting longer across the board
As financial inequality booms, Professor Sridhar said some people may be left with shorter lives, despite healthcare improvements.
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Life expectancy is “tightly linked to income,” she explained.
“The basic drivers of health are linked to resources – whether money, time, social networks, access to green space or leisure centres and gyms, nutritious food, and so increased inequality means the bottom quintile struggling to maintain existing life expectancy, or even going backwards.”
Earlier this year it was reported that the number of children living in poverty in the UK is at an all-time high (since records began in 2002). There are 4.45 million children living in a household of relative low income, according to the BBC.
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Myth #3: You need to get everything just right to achieve a longer life
When it comes to health and longevity, the professor told us that “perfection is a myth”.
Let’s say you have a “nutritionally poor” day of eating, she said – “just make the next day different with more vegetables, fruits and grains, and [the] same with exercise.”
Speaking of which, the movement enthusiast said those who expend “mild to moderate effort (even weekend warriors who exercise just 1-2 times per week) get the bulk of the benefits” of working out.
“Same for diet. What are you eating 80% of the time?” she added.
“Basically, don’t make food or diet or sleep something to stress about. Stress is also implicated in dying too soon!”
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Though we do have some control over our longevity, then, ignoring the impact of policy on our lifespan, assuming they’ll improve no matter what, and stressing too much about your individual one might not be the best way forward.
In a recent TikTok, former Tracy Beaker actor Dani Harmer spoke about her recent perimenopause diagnosis as she sought advice for her “thinning” hair.
The former Strictly Come Dancing contestant, 36, says her husband asked her to see her GP when he noticed her “whole personality had pretty much changed.”
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Before she learned she was perimenopausal, the star added, “I was so down”.
She continued, “I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety pretty much since I was a teenager, but there was something really different about me, and in myself, I knew that something was off”.
Dani said she had also been affected by brain fog, night sweats, and bad sleep, all of which are common signs of perimenopause.
Though some commenters were surprised to learn about the actor’s condition (with one TikTok user saying, “Whaaaat? You’re about 17 years old”), perimenopause in your 30s is perfectly possible.
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Here’s what perimenopause means, 62 of its signs, and what to do if you suspect it (like Dani, you should seek help if you struggle with any symptoms).
What is perimenopause, and why can it start in your 30s?
Perimenopause is “when you have symptoms of menopause but your periods have not stopped,” the NHS says.
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You are officially in menopause when you have not had your period for 12 months.
The average age to start menopause in the UK is 51. You count as being in “early” menopause if it begins before you turn 45, and “premature” menopause if you’re under 40, the NHS says.
Just because your periods don’t stop during perimenopause doesn’t mean it can’t “have a big impact on your life, including relationships and work,” the NHS says.
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Anxiety, mood swings, brain fog, hot flushes and irregular periods are common signs.
Don’t wait until you lose your period to see your GP about perimenopause symptoms if they’re affecting your life.
What are the symptoms of perimenopause?
The symptoms of perimenopause are the same as those of menopause, minus the absence of periods. Some women will experience them at different levels of intensity during menopause or perimenopause.
Some signs, like irregular periods, will be more noticeable during perimenopause.
A BMC Women’s Health study found that, on average, people experiencing menopause or perimenopause had about 10.7 symptoms.
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Menopause care specialist Dr Naomi Potter previously shared 62 possible symptoms with HuffPost UK, which are:
Palpitations
Chest pain
Breast tenderness
Itchy skin
Dry skin
Rosacea
Acne
Thin skin
Collagen loss
Crying
Brain fog
Memory loss
Poor concentration
Difficulty finding the right words
Anxiety
Low mood
Worsening PMS
Anger or rage
Irritability
Headache
Migraines
Joint pain
Joint stiffness
Vaginal dryness
Vaginal discharge
Vulval itch
Perineal itch
Vulval/vaginal ‘electric shocks’
Increase in thrush
Increase in bacterial vaginosis
Poor libido
High libido
Weight gain
Hair loss (on your scalp)
Unwanted hair growth
Urinary infections
Urinary incontinence
Urinary urgency
Nocturia (getting up at night to pee)
Sexual dysfunction
Chest tightness
Constipation
Gastric reflux
Fatigue
Night sweats
Hot flushes
Cold flushes
Increased period frequency
Decreased period frequency
Heavier periods
Muscle loss
Tinnitus
Dry eyes
Watery eyes
Burning mouth
Gum disease
Foot pain
Frozen shoulder
Insomnia
Histamine sensitivity
New allergy
Body odour change.
What if I think I’m perimenopausal?
It bears repeating ― don’t wait until menopause begins to see your GP if you are experiencing symptoms, no matter what age you are.
Even if you aren’t in perimenopause, the symptoms are worth investigating.
And if you are, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can help replace the oestrogen and progesterone your body loses during menopause and perimenopause.
According to the NHS, “The main benefit of HRT is that it can help relieve most menopause and perimenopause symptoms, including hot flushes, brain fog, joint pains, mood swings and vaginal dryness”.
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Dani has said, “I’m really glad that I went and I got help. My doctor was more than happy to put me on HRT, and I’ve been on it for about 18 months now”.
She says her symptoms have mostly gone, except for hair thinning and the occasional hot flush.
Your doctor can help you to work out which solutions are best for you, so speak to a professional as soon as you notice symptoms.
Neurologist Suzanne O’Sullivan recently told The Times that “overdiagnosis” is a scourge these days, including among those with suspected autism.
But do the stats bear these claims out?
The National Autistic Society says that roughly 750,000 autistic adults in the UK remain undiagnosed; the Children’s Commissioner’s 2024 report on waiting times for assessment and support for autism found wide “inequalities between the most and least advantaged children” seeking assessment.
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With the latest NHS figures on diagnosis waiting times having just been released (sharing that just under 90% of those with suspected autism have had open assesment referrals incomplete for at last 13 weeks), we spoke to The National Autistic Society about why difficulties getting assessed might be more of a risk than so-called “overdiagnosis.”
“An autism diagnosis can be life-changing”
Mel Merritt, Head of Policy and Campaigns at the National Autistic Society, tells us: “The number of people waiting for an autism assessment in England has rocketed to more than 224,000 people – that’s nearly the population of Luton or Portsmouth.”
It is also a 23% increase from last year’s figures, and a 76% rise over the past two years.
“The waiting list has more than tripled since the publication of the National Autism Strategy in July 2021, despite its promise to reduce diagnosis waiting times and improve support,” Merritt continues.
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This is also despite the NHS itself saying people should not have to wait for more than three months to be assessed.
“An autism diagnosis can be life-changing and in some cases lifesaving, but getting an autism assessment shouldn’t be this hard… the average wait is now over 14 months,” the spokesperson shares.
“The assessment can be the first step to really understanding people’s needs and, too often, people can’t get support without a diagnosis, although this shouldn’t be the case.
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“Additionally, people shouldn’t have to pay to get the support they need for themselves or their children.”
The Children’s Commissioner’s 2024 report found that “the most disadvantaged children with neurodevelopmental conditions are most likely to have their life course permanently altered by long wait times.
As a Guardian writer puts it, “No one is simply ‘slapping’ an autism diagnosis on anybody, at least not in the NHS.”
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Endless wait lists are “traumatic”
Though there is an increased demand for assessments (especially among “previously overlooked demographics such as women and girls”), the National Autistic Society tells us there is not a corresponding supply.
And even once you pass the “traumatic” wait time, “The diagnosis process is not a simple, quick process and can involve hours of recounting traumatic experiences and focusing on perceived deficits.”
Merrit ends, “Autistic people and their families face a constant fight for support in all aspects of their lives, and this often starts with long, traumatic waits for a diagnosis.
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“The Government must provide urgent funding for diagnosis services to end this worsening crisis, and make sure autistic people and their families get the support they need when they need it.”
Graphic content warning: this article includes photos of an injured finger.
The mum of a baby whose fingertip was cut off after it became caught in a folding step stool is urging other parents to be aware of the dangers – and to keep theirs well out of reach of little hands.
Kay de Bruyn, 35, from Alberta in Canada, said she kept a step stool next to the sofa so her eldest son could get on and off it to watch TV.
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But one morning, disaster struck when she turned her back for a moment and heard a “thud”, followed by her youngest son, who is one, screaming and crying.
“I had never heard a cry like that before,” de Bruyn told HuffPost UK. “He was lying on his stomach and the stool was now collapsed and lying on the ground in front of him.
“I thought he might have tripped and hit his face on it. But when I picked him up, there was blood everywhere. I caught a glimpse of his middle finger – it looked like the tip was gone.”
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Kay de Bruyn
Her son’s finger after the accident (left) and since healing fully (right).
The mum said her son was inconsolable and she began to panic.
“I grabbed a clean cloth from the bathroom and held it to his finger. I wish I could say I stayed calm, but I completely lost it,” she said.
After calling her husband and her parents, she ran across the street with her son and knocked on her neighbour’s door.
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“I explained what had happened and asked them to check if the fingertip was truly gone,” she said.
“They gently took my son, checked, and confirmed it. Still holding him, they came back to the house with me and even offered to drive us to the emergency room.”
The parent quickly ran upstairs to see if she could locate the fingertip. “And that’s when I saw it: the tip of his finger was still stuck in the stool,” she recalled.
“I brought the stool downstairs, and my neighbour pried it out using a clean kitchen knife. While he did that, I called emergency services, and they instructed me to place the fingertip in a clean plastic bag.
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“The ambulance arrived and took us to the children’s hospital, where they reattached the fingertip. Unfortunately, part of it didn’t survive and eventually fell off.”
Because part of the fingertip is missing, her son’s nail is now growing over the tip of his finger and the family is hoping to get a referral to a plastic surgeon.
“While he seems relatively unfazed by it now, I wanted to share our story – because I know this type of stool is common in many households,” said de Bruyn.
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After posting a reel about what happened, the parent said two other families contacted her to say the same thing happened to their children.
“If I had known something like this could happen, I never would have kept it in our home,” she added.
Dementia has been the leading cause of death in England and Wales for years now, with Dementia UK adding that more people die from dementia in the UK overall than of any other condition.
Still, a 2017 YouGov poll found that roughly half of us have no idea that dementia, which kills about 55 million people worldwide, can be a direct cause of death.
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That means the dementia itself leads to their death.
So, we spoke to Simon Wheeler, Senior Knowledge Officer at Alzheimer’s Society, about how dementia actually kills.
“Dementia is a terminal condition”
Speaking to HuffPost UK, Wheeler explains: “Around 1 in 3 people born today will develop dementia. It’s the UK’s biggest killer, but many people don’t understand why.
“It shortens a person’s life by several years if they are already old, and potentially by several decades if they have young-onset dementia,” he continues.
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One of the ways it does this is by diminishing a person’s ability to perform the essential skills and bodily functions that are needed to stay well.
“At first, these changes are mainly cognitive – for example, not remembering to take medicines or not being able to react to dangers around the house or outside,” Wheeler tells us.
“If they need surgery for other health problems, their dementia can make these procedures more challenging and recovery more difficult. This is why people with dementia tend to have much worse outcomes when they have to go to hospital.”
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The later stages of dementia have more physical effects
“As the condition progresses to its later stages, its effects become more physical as the parts of the brain involved in eating, swallowing, moving, and communicating become severely damaged,” the expert adds.
That’s when people with dementia tend to notice physical, as well as cognitive, changes.
“They become increasingly frail,” Wheeler explains.
“Injuries and infections become more difficult to recover from. Eventually, an illness or other event happens that they can’t recover from and this is what ultimately causes the person to die.
“There is the near cause of death, such as pneumonia, and then there is the underlying condition that has resulted in the person being in such a frail and vulnerable condition – this is what dementia does.”
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Today (May 1st) is the final day to decide to join us for Year 9 in Conscious Growth Club, and I felt inspired to share some insights about where I see the club flowing in Year 9 and beyond.
Every year the club evolves. This transition from Year 8 to Year 9 is a big advancement with some very powerful shifts opening up.
Leadership Dojo
Many members in CGC have been evolving in the direction of leadership. This has been showing up differently for everyone, but it’s fair to say that it’s not the stale old corporate or hierarchical version of leadership. It’s a much more personal and internal form of leadership. At least that’s where it begins.
This is about leading from within – knowing yourself, standing strong in your core essence, and radiating your light into the world around you, like I shared in this video several months ago: Fill Your Reality With Your Light.
When you step up and take charge of your own life powerful, other people are likely to notice. Those who appreciate similar values to yours will likely feel drawn to you. They’ll be attracted to your centeredness, your resolve, your clarity, and your sense of ease, lightness, and flow. You may end up attracting some sort of following without really trying.
For some members this shows up as a desire to build communities or their own, online or offline. A lot of members have been going through meaningful transformations of their social lives. They no longer feel in tune with their old circles, and it’s important to them to draw more people into their lives who really align with who they are now and who they’re becoming.
One reason this happens is that CGC itself is a model for this kind of social alignment. It’s a community centered around growth, self-development, and truly embodying our best selves. People who value this will find lots of like-minded people inside to connect with. Once they experience how delightful it is to make and have so many friends like this in one place, it can reveal a difficult contrast with their other social circles, which may not feel adequate anymore. Thus begins the journey into assuming more autonomy over one’s social life, and this eventually flows into some kind of leadership experience.
Seeing this aspect of CGC emerging over time has encouraged me to give it more attention and to invite new members into the club who see themselves flowing into an emerging leadership role. So this year I made that a key part of the invite.
That’s yet another reason we don’t invite Trump supporters to join us in CGC. That’s been our policy for years. Trump supporters carry follower vibes by definition. That’s the opposite of our direction in CGC.
There are lots of ways to step into leadership. In CGC we really focus on the inner journey, which involves getting clear about what we want to create and then advancing it into being.
Note that at the beginning of 2017, CGC was just an idea. I began sharing about the idea on my blog back then, inviting people to comment on it and share their feedback. Later that year we opened the doors with an early access phase while we were developing it. Today we’re starting our 9th year together, the club is thriving inside, and we clearly have a bright future together as we continue to advance together. This all began with a decision to step up and make it happen. Many hundreds of other decisions followed – and are still following – as the club continues to evolve.
Relating to People as Their Strong Selves
Since I have a lot of experience watching people grow and seeing how they evolve over time, I often pick up patterns in what’s unfolding for people before they see what’s emerging within themselves. I like to meet people where they are, but I also love to relate to them based on where they appear to be heading.
The better I get to know someone who’s very growth-oriented, the more I can help to hold the vision and the vibes of the stronger and more capable version of them that’s emerging.
For instance, I may interact with someone who’s a bit camera shy, but I can also see that they’re working on it, which may help me see that they’ll eventually get past it altogether. So I can start relating to them as the person they’re becoming, not who they’ve been.
Or I may be talking with a very head-based person, but I can also see they’re making good progress in developing their intuitive side and opening their heart, so I can meet in the the land of emotional expressiveness and keep relating to them as their emerging future self.
Sometimes this surprises people because they’ve never had anyone treat them as the person they’re becoming. Others have usually been treating them as who they’ve been in the past (or some skewed version of that).
I love doing this for people, but it’s definitely best when I get to know someone, so I gain a more specific understanding of where they’re heading.
Holding stronger visions of each other – and for each other – is becoming woven into the fabric of CGC. As more members bear witness to each other’s growth, they’re helping hold those new visions of themselves. That’s really lovely to see.
If you’ve never been in a social circle that holds you in high regard and begins treating you as your stronger and more capable future self, I sense you’d really love and appreciate this aspect of CGC.
Don’t think it’s easy though. The old parts of you may rise up to reject your new self-image – at first – so it can take some time to work through those old limits and release them.
Feeding and Fueling Our Strong Selves
As members have continued to invest in CGC, they’re clearly gotten stronger and more capable. More possibilities are opening up for them. There’s a sense of strength and stability in the core of the club, which is fertile soil for encouraging even more to emerge.
Back in 2018 when I first created the Deep Abundance Integration course, my motivation was largely driven by compassion for people who were struggling with scarcity. I wanted to provide a helpful resource to immerse people in abundance vibes, so they could really lock onto it and transition over, much like I learned to do back in 1999 (the year I went bankrupt).
In the early years of CGC, there was a lot of this helping-people-who-were-struggling mentality in the club too. That fit with the old coaching model, and many coaching calls involved helping people with various forms of stuckness. Today we are way beyond that old mindset and old approach.
Struggles can be endless and cyclical, especially if people keep recreating the same conditions that lead to struggle. Now we’re better at stepping back and inviting those weaker energies to depart, so something stronger and more engaging can emerge.
When this kind of powerful energy surges, many old struggles vanish. Either they become easy to solve because we become stronger, or they’re no longer seen as problems, or we stop creating the conditions that give rise to them. One way or another, CGCers learn to opt out of living in perpetual crisis mode.
Today’s CGC isn’t a good match for people who are mired in distracting problems. It’s a much better fit for people who want to engage with their lives from their core – their strong selves. Then keep building from there.
I like to think of this stronger part of me as my higher self. That’s the version of me that’s fearless, wise, caring, kind, creative, generous, and more. These days my own path of self-development is mainly about coming into greater alignment with this core version of me. I do my best to channel my deepest wellspring of insight and energy into my decisions and actions. That’s been working really well.
Even when I have mundane problems to deal with, I find that I can easily shred them when I’m attuned to my core strengths. Then I can be as patient, methodical, rational, and courageous as needed to solve problems definitively. These kinds of solutions are very satisfying, both during the solution process and afterwards. I know I did my best, so there are no regrets.
This kind of energy is emerging very strongly in the club now. I sense it will be a big part of Year 9 and beyond.
One specific way we’re supporting this energy is with the new Sense & Solve call format that we’re introducing this CGC year. We’re running it the first time on May 15.
High Trust and Intimate Teamwork
CGC is a very kind, intimate, caring group inside. It took some work to get there though, and I’m very protective of this aspect of our culture. In our early years, we attracted some members who were only into self-development for themselves – some prima donna types if you know what I mean. They came to CGC for the content and for their own gains and didn’t participate much in the community aspects, except for their own validation now and then.
We still did our best to serve those members, but I soon realized that we were better off without them. What we do in CGC really is a team effort, and we grow stronger by attracting good team players. So I’ve deliberately positioned the club to make it less palatable to people who aren’t interested in the team aspect.
We’ve come a long way since then, really focusing on attracting more genuine team players and serving them well. CGC has become a space where the givers tend to gain the most. Those who show up and participate and share their growth journeys surely learn a lot more and make bigger strides.
I see us investing even further in this teamwork direction in Year 9 and beyond. That includes involving other members in the live event we’ll be co-creating for April 2026.
All of our calls for Year 9 involve some form of interaction. They’re really not content-based. They’re all designed as group experiences that we share in and create together.
This morning, for example, we had our monthly Intention Infusion call. The call was very well-attended, with lots of members sharing all throughout. This included sharing our individual intentions for the month and also co-creating a group intention. The group intention we chose was limitless vitality, so we’re all pooling our collective intentional energy to intend limitless vitality for each other. This has been a normal rhythm in CGC for the past two years now. Every month we all hold positive intentions for each other’s well-being and advancement.
The core of this community is trust. When people open up and trust more, they tend to thrive in CGC. It’s not like sharing about your life on social media and wondering who will judge you for it.
It usually takes a bit of time for people to get used to a community like this. They come in with their well-developed masks from years of social media engagement. Then they gradually drop those old facades and let us see more of their real selves. That’s where they’re met with so much love, understanding, and connection.
Life really is different when you learn and grow as part of a kind and caring community that has your back. If you don’t get that from CGC, please find some place to get it – a space where you can fully open up and show all parts of the real you and be seen and acknowledged as the beautiful being you are. This includes letting others see your beauty even when you’re not seeing it yet yourself.
This kind of work really lights me up inside. Even after 8 years of serving CGC, I’m still abundantly enthusiastic about it. As I’ve said many times before, this is my forever project. That’s something I learned from Walt Disney because Disneyland was his forever project. The benefit of a forever project is that you have lots of time to keep improving it and optimizing it. You know to be extra thoughtful in making each decision because you’re thinking about how it might ripple out over decades.
Playfulness
I love that we’re so playful in CGC. I really resonate with making self-development lively and fun. I feel we’re landed in a really good range there. We take self-development seriously, and we have serious fun working on it together.
We often crack jokes on the live calls, but we also do our best to keep them light. I really think we bond very well through shared humor. Some members are really great at anchoring humor vibes into the club, and I would love to see even more people like this join us inside because we so appreciate what they bring to the experience.
We already have some great abundance in this area, but I say let’s keep going. Why limit ourselves? Good-natured humor folds really well into our group energy and values.
I sense that this light-hearted playfulness that so many of us share in CGC will be infused into our April 2026 gathering as well, which makes me look forward to it even more.
Range and Variety
I know of no other self-development group that covers as much range and variety as CGC does. We really do cover all aspects of self-development and more.
Take a look at our call types for Year 9. We have 18 different formats now, up from 14 last CGC year. And even within a given format, no two calls are the same. Each call is a unique experience.
In Bear Care we work on boundaries and self-care. In Contribution Café we focus on purpose and service. In Story Lab we use the lens of story to fuse the objective and subjective aspects of our lives into a cohesive plot that’s unfolding. Courage Forge’s theme ought to be pretty obvious. Same goes with Pure Imagination. Mating Call is a new format we’ve added this year to improve our sex lives. And Moonglow is all about receiving and allowing (and not blocking life’s gifts).
I actually drew a significant amount of inspiration from theme parks, particularly Disneyland itself, in designing and evolving CGC’s core structure. I’ve personally spent at least 100 days of my life at Disneyland, including going there with Rachelle for 30 days in a row, six months before we opened CGC. So you can definitely think of CGC as being like a self-development theme park. While our core focus is on self-development, the calls are all designed to be lively, entertaining, and enjoyable as well. I never want the experience for our members to become stale or boring.
The vast majority of our live calls are unrecorded too (only Reflections & Revelations is recorded), so that helps people open up and be more candid as well. I really noticed a positive shift in participation when we shifted from recorded to unrecorded calls a while back. I love that we have so many years to keep tinkering and fine-tuning to discover what works best for our members.
Learning From Each Other’s Growth Journeys
With the CGC forums as part of the experience, there’s even more variety because members can share and discuss anything of interest to them.
I especially love that our discussions and explorations are so focused on helping each other advance. There really isn’t much debating in CGC for the sake of debating. Politics and current events don’t have a big presence in the group. That’s all fair game for discussion, but most CGCers would rather not discuss that sort of thing, especially since they can do that elsewhere on social media all day long if they want.
In CGC the conversations are mainly about personal experiences and explorations as well as how members are figuring out solutions. People discuss their goals, action steps, and their progress a lot. They share the emotional side too, like how life is going and how they’re being affected.
Because we have our own private, members-only spaces, members are a lot more candid, and the shares are often deeper and more detailed than what you’d find elsewhere on the Internet. People share a certain depth in CGC that they wouldn’t trust to Instagram, Facebook, etc.
This is true for me too. While I’ve been very open about my life from 20+ years of blogging and also YouTubing, I share even more depth and detail in CGC. Most of what I share about my ongoing explorations these days is posted in CGC, not outside of it. I just feel drawn to share certain details more with the people I’ve come to know and trust very well. I’m still into sharing openly outside of the group, but with CGC as such a huge part of my life, I don’t feel drawn to share as much outside the club.
I maintain a progress log in the club myself and update it often. It looks like this in the forums and has hundreds of posts. It’s very interactive too since members can ask me anything about the various explorations I’m doing at any given time. Usually I update it multiple times per week. There is so much I’ve shared there that I haven’t shared outside of CGC, such as details about the 3-night ayahuasca ceremony I did in March and how it affected me – it was very powerful.
One experience that’s coming up this month is my first-ever San Pedro ceremony. I’ve never done it before and have been wanting to sit with it for years. I probably won’t blog about it, but I’ll surely share about what it was like in CGC.
Other members maintain progress logs in the club too, and this has consistently been a great way for us to keep tabs on what we’re all doing and how we’re progressing.
A High-Vibe Approach to Self-Development
When I first got into self-development many years ago, my mindset was very objective. I focused on productivity and time management a lot. I thought very algorithmically much of the time, always looking for useful processes and step-by-step approaches. Some of my favorite authors were Brian Tracy and David Allen – both very deliberate and methodical but also immensely head-based.
That was interesting and helpful for some years, but I soon ran into limits with that approach, especially with respect to certain types of goals and lifestyle desires. Some goals just would not budge.
I was able to use that old mindset to have some cool achievements though, such as running a marathon. That was all about showing up, putting in the training time, and being very methodical and tenacious till I crossed the finish line and got my finisher’s medal – done and checked off my bucket list.
But my most interesting breakthroughs did not arise from that type of programmer mindset. For that I really needed to stretch myself to explore more limitless ways of relating to life and reality. I documented that alternative approach very well in the Submersion course, which is based on relating to life far more subjectively. Since then I’ve layered in even more robust and expansive approaches to keep advancing in ways where an overly objective approach falls flat.
I’d say my #1 favorite gift from opening up and pursuing a different self-development path is my relationship with Rachelle. We’ve been together for 15+ years now, married for more than 7 years. She and I host the CGC calls together. I adore her deeply, and I love the life we share together. I also really love that she and I get to serve and support CGC together. We attracted each other from different countries (she’s Canadian) and flowed into a beautiful yet unconventional relationship. I don’t see anyway a relationship like this could have flowed into my life if I’d been stuck in an overly objective mindset. That old limit had to go, so I could open myself to new forms of allowing, inviting, and surrendering.
This type of energy is strongly infused into CGC. I’ve stopped being an apologist about it, and I’ve really gone all-in with a vibrational-first approach – because it works! It takes time for some people to warm up to it, but what keeps them engaged is that this gets results, especially in areas where an objective approach just isn’t moving the needle much.
The objective aspects of life are still important, and objective problem-solving tools are still useful, so we haven’t thrown that out. We do a tremendous amount of fusion in CGC, and that YES-AND approach woven into many of our group calls as well. Our problem-solving methods are part vibrational, part physical. They involve getting into harmony with the solution space and feeling our way into it to ramp up motivation and inspiration. Then we devise practical action steps and flow into them with greater ease.
In recent months I’ve been sharing in the club about using this approach to do various DIY plumbing and electrical projects around the house. I got clear about how I wanted to solve each problem on a vibrational level first, including how I wanted to feel throughout the experience and afterwards. As I locked onto those feelings, I flowing through a compelling action sequence that included watching how-to videos on YouTube, acquiring the needed parts and tools, and doing all the steps to get to completion.
This really taught me a lot about my own best pathways through problems I might otherwise put off. I didn’t want to deal with certain problems because I didn’t understand them well enough, and I didn’t feel very trusting about the prospect of hiring someone to do those projects for me. So I went to the vibe level first and crafted the solution there. For instance, I knew that education could solve the understanding problem, so I resolved to educate myself thoroughly first. I also saw solutions to the trust issue, so I worked through how to find a contractor I could genuinely trust, and I found and hired a fabulous plumber to do some bigger jobs. It all flowed beautifully at the action level once I solved these problems first at the vibrational level.
I can tell this kind of vibrational-physical fusion will be a big part of CGC Year 9 and beyond – again because it works. Problems are much easier to solve when we engage not just our minds but our hearts and spirits as well.
Lightness & Happiness
The energy in some earlier CGC years felt heavier to me. Today it’s a lot lighter feeling inside. There’s more happiness and optimism inside the club these days – and some genuine excitement too, especially since we’re starting a whole new year together starting today.
Years ago, some people were initially drawn to approach CGC like a therapy container – a space for working through unresolved trauma.
I gave it a lot of thought and took concrete steps to move the club well away from that direction. I know this bothered some people, but I’m certain that it was the correct decision. Even back then I knew we needed to move away from that.
I’m not a therapist, and I don’t intend to become one. I really don’t want to meet people in their misery and delve into the ache with them.
I know some great people who do work in the space of trauma, healing, PTSD, etc. Most of them work with plant medicines because that really moves the needle when nothing else will. I’ve seen a tremendous amount of positive changes unfolding for people who need to process and release old trauma.
But that isn’t my path. I know this. I’m not here to serve people while they’re still enmeshed in their trauma. I’m meant to work and live in limitless land. That’s very clear to me.
I’ve done multiple plant medicine journeys where I’ve looked into that space – with ayahuasca, mushrooms, and more – and they all tell me the same thing. I’m not traumatized and never have been, and I’m not here to help people with their trauma. One journey revealed a fun way of framing this, revealing that when I incarnated as a human in this life, I looked at the box to select my trauma for my human character, and I wrote in “Fuck no!” And so that wish was granted.
I’ve had plenty of challenges to deal with in this life, but none have ever traumatized me. That isn’t what I’m here to experience. And it isn’t how I aim to serve.
I am the opposite of traumatized. I’m ridiculously happy, and I thrive when working with other people who are at least pretty happy with their lives, and they want to unfold even more richness.
I work best with people who want to let go of old limits and stretch themselves. They want to grow stronger and become even more capable. They may not be traumatized, but letting go of old limits is still a great challenge, and this is where I most enjoy serving people.
This has also become a big aspect of CGC as well. We’re not here to meet you in your pain. We’re here to help you advance beyond old limits. If you have a lot of unresolved pain to work through first that’s holding you back from even focusing on richer and more expansive forms of self-development, I feel for you, but there are much better teachers and communities that focus on that. I have tremendous respect for them, and I’m friends with some great people in that space, but I definitely don’t aspire to be one of them. I’ve found where I belong and what I’m good at, and I do sense that this is a limit I want to keep because it serves me well, and it opens into a beautiful outlet for serving others very well too.
CGC’s energy is much lighter than what you’d find in trauma-informed spaces. The energy inside is typically very positive, encouraging, optimistic, and expansive. Members are usually very engaged with interesting projects and working on stretching themselves in various ways.
Even when someone is going through a major challenge, they’re met with positive support, not commiseration. This helps people remember their strong selves, which they can use to meet any problem.
Stepping Into Your Limitless Self
Hopefully this run-through gives you a clearer picture of what CGC is like inside now and how we’re continuing to evolve.
I’d say that our limitless vitality intention for May is a good container for our upcoming year in the club as well. This month we’re inviting more energy to flow through our bodies and our lives, so we can enjoy more capacity to investing in what we find most engaging.
If CGC appeals to you, I invite you to join us. There’s still time to come aboard and join us for Year 9 if you sign up today. Otherwise you’ll have to wait till April 2026 for another chance.
I’d recommend perusing the CGC FAQ, and then read through the CGC invite page as you reflect upon the decision (sign-up button is at the bottom of that page.
Lastly, feel free to drop me a message via my contact form if you have any further questions. We always see a lot of people join on the last day – even in the final hours – so I’m used to that!
