Would You Know What To Do If Your Child Was Burned By A Hot Drink?

Posted on 26/07/2023 by Boris Clair

A mum and former nurse has shared the burns and scalds advice that she reckons plenty of parents don’t know, but definitely should.

Beki (@beki.guinta) recalled the mortifying moment her 18-month-old son pulled her hot tea – consisting of pure boiling water and no milk – down on top of him.

“I was standing right next to him, I did not think this would happen, I’m the most safe parent alive,” she said in a TikTok video which has been viewed more than 5.3 million times.

Beki explained how she used to be a registered nurse and worked in a children’s intensive care unit and therefore has “seen it all” and is “so safe” with her child. But noted these accidents still happen.

She then proceeded to tell other parents “exactly” what to do in the event that their child gets burnt.

“The lack of knowledge people have around what to do if a child gets burnt is astonishing,” she said.

So what’s the advice?

“The first thing you need to do is call an ambulance and then you need to take all your child’s clothing off, get them completely nude, and get them in a shower or under continuous cold running water for a minimum – a minimum – of 20 minutes,” she said.

“Not only does this aid in stopping the burn, this helps aid with the pain as well.”

The NHS shares similar advice for treating burns or scalds. Firstly, it advises to remove any clothing or jewellery from near the burnt area of skin, including babies’ nappies, unless – and this is important – the item of clothing is stuck to the burnt skin.

Then it says to “cool the burn with cool or lukewarm running water for 20 minutes as soon as possible after the injury”.

It warns parents to “never use ice, iced water, or any creams or greasy substances like butter”.

You’ll need to keep your child warm to help prevent hypothermia – “use a blanket or layers of clothing, but avoid putting them on the injured area,” reads the advice.

Beki said she used her body heat to keep her son warm while he was in the shower.

Next, cover the burn with cling film (laying the film flat over the burn rather than wrapping it around a limb) and treat any pain with paracetamol or ibuprofen, advises the NHS. It might also help to raise the affected area to reduce swelling.

Recalling the horrifying moment her son was burned, Beki continued: “My little boy was beside himself. I had to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star while I was sobbing, holding him in the shower just running icy cold water over his burn.

“His whole face, his neck, his torso, his stomach – everything was bright red. I’m talking like, a red that isn’t… you don’t normally see it. It was terrifying.

“I just thought instantly: he was going to be in the burns unit, he was going to be having skin grafts, he was going to have surgery and that would’ve 100% happened had I not done what I did that day.”

She said her son is now fine and “doesn’t even have a mark on him” – and she credits running cool water on him for 20 minutes as the reason why.

According to the NHS, you’ll need to go to A&E if your child is under 10, has a medical condition or weakened immune system and has a scald or burn.

You should also head to hospital if they have:

large burns bigger than the size of their hand,
deep burns of any size that cause white or charred skin,
burns on the face, neck, hands, feet, any joints, or genitals,
chemical and electrical burns,
any other injuries that need treating,
any signs of shock – symptoms include cold, clammy skin; sweating; rapid, shallow breathing; and weakness or dizziness.

The One Health Care Provider Most People Should See After Giving Birth, But Don’t

Posted on 10/07/2023 by Boris Clair

After weekly medical check-ins at the end of pregnancy, most people won’t see a health care provider until six weeks postpartum. At that point, if it looks like healing is proceeding well, they are officially “cleared” to have sex and exercise again.

Following delivery, the focus tends to shift to the baby’s health (how much are they eating, sleeping or crying?) and away from the person who gave birth.

Common postpartum physical complaints such as incontinence or pain in the back, pelvis or genitals are often written off as par for the course, as though pregnancy and birth are expected to do some damage to the body.

While postpartum healing is a process, and most people need some time before they feel “back to normal,” there are things that you can do to support healing and lessen pain and discomfort.

One proactive step you can take is to make an appointment with a physical therapist, who can evaluate you for common postpartum issues and recommend exercises to prevent incontinence and pain.

Postpartum physical therapy isn’t the norm in the U.S., but in other countries, such as France, it’s standard care.

Pregnancy’s impact on the body

After weekly medical check-ins at the end of pregnancy, most people won’t see a health care provider until six weeks postpartum.

There are multiple ways that pregnancy can put a strain on your musculoskeletal system. The hormonal shifts of pregnancy don’t only affect your reproductive organs.

“What happens is the joints can become a little more loose and lax,” Jenni Limoges, a physical therapist in Nevada specialising in pelvic floor issues, told HuffPost. This loosening helps your pelvis expand to make room for the baby, but it can also trigger pain from a previous back or hip injury or result in new discomfort.

In addition, as your belly grows, your body has to adjust to a new centre of gravity. “It tends to pull people forward. It creates instability,” said Limoges.

Your pelvis tips forward, and the muscles in your back, pelvis and hips all shift, either lengthening or shortening. Your abdominal muscles separate to make space for the baby. Even your feet change, flattening out to support your pregnant body (many people find they go up a shoe size following pregnancy).

Your pelvic floor muscles provide a sort of shelf inside your hip bones that supports all of the internal organs, including the uterus. There are three layers and nine different muscles that work in concert, Limoges explained.

“These muscles help us stay dry,” she said, and play a key role in sexual functioning. The way these muscles have to stretch to accommodate pregnancy and allow for delivery can cause them to become too stiff or too loose, causing pain or incontinence (urinary and/or faecal).

“I often times hear of people saying that they want to opt for a C-section because they think this protects their pelvic floor,” said Ruba Raza, a North Carolina-based physical therapist who also specialises in pelvic floor, pregnancy and postpartum issues. However, Raza told HuffPost that you can still have pelvic floor issues following a C-section.

“Regardless of the mode of delivery, it is important to see a pelvic floor physical therapist if you are having symptoms during or after pregnancy,” Raza said.

“A lot of people do not seek out our services during pregnancy because they
assume that their symptoms will improve postpartum, but with most concerns, these can continue and even worsen if they are not addressed.”

Common postpartum issues

In addition to urinary and faecal incontinence, other common postpartum complaints that can be addressed with physical therapy, Raza said, include: “Sacroiliac joint pain [the sacroiliac joints link the pelvis to the bottom of the spine], constipation, low back pain, pelvic floor pain, C-section scar sensitivity, pain with intercourse and rectal pain.”

Many of the common postpartum complaints such as pelvic floor pain, C-section scar sensitivity and back pain can be addressed with physical therapy,

Another issue you may have heard about is diastasis recti. A line of connective tissue called the linea alba runs down the middle of your stomach and fastens together on both sides of your abdominal muscles.

During pregnancy, this tissue stretches out and often separates to accommodate your growing uterus. After delivery, it generally closes back up again over the course of eight weeks or so. If it doesn’t close back up, you may notice that you continue to have a belly pouch, as though you were still pregnant. You may also have pain or incontinence.

Because movements like traditional abdominal crunches can worsen diastasis recti, it’s important to work with a knowledgeable provider who can prescribe exercises to help your diastasis recti heal.

What treatment looks like

Physical therapy for postpartum issues generally involves weekly visits.

“The typical model for the pelvic floor is one-on-one for an hour,” said Limoges, adding that you should feel the results as soon as a couple of weeks in.

“I definitely expect within four to six weeks you’re seeing some improvements,” she continued.

Raza said she typically sees patients once a week for six to eight weeks, but of course, this varies based on the nature and severity of the issue they’re dealing with.

“The plan is very individualised to the patient’s concerns or symptoms,” she said. There are a multitude of exercises your physical therapist may teach you and have you practice at home.

Limoges explained that the treatment for pelvic floor issues such as incontinence depends on whether the problem is that the muscles are too stiff or overstretched and lacking in tone.

With incontinence, it’s common to hear the blanket advice to do Kegel exercises (contracting the pelvic floor muscles — the ones you use to stop urination mid-stream), but these can be counterproductive if the issue is stiffness. For this reason, it’s a good idea to have an evaluation with a physical therapist before starting any exercise program to address your problem.

While a good portion of the evaluation involves the physical therapist learning what your symptoms are, and sometimes this can even be done via a remote telehealth visit, if you’re having a pelvic floor issue, an internal pelvic exam is usually necessary at some point.

“I like to tell people, ‘I’m not the gynaecologist’s office, so I don’t use stirrups,’” said Limoges.

“I typically do a scan of tissue first, just to make sure everything looks OK. And then for the internal assessment, I insert my finger vaginally, and I’m checking each layer of muscles.” This internal exam allows the physical therapist to assess the muscle’s flexibility and to see if there is organ prolapse.

Your therapist will likely want to see how long you can hold a contraction of your pelvic muscles (a Kegel). The standard goal is ten seconds. They will also want to see how quickly you can contract the muscles and whether you have any pain.

While a physical therapist may recommend Kegel exercises if they find a lack of tone in your pelvic floor muscles, there are many other types of exercises they may prescribe.

Raza and Limoges discussed using breathing exercises with postpartum pelvic floor patients. Other possibilities include stretches, squats, and what Limoges called “self-tissue mobilization,” in which you apply gentle, internal pressure to the layers of muscle.

Each physical therapist stressed the importance of finding a way for a new parent to work these exercises into their day in a way that is feasible.

“I love incorporating exercises into activities that the patient is already doing,
such as adding in a pelvic floor and core contraction every time the patient completes a transitional movement or working on diaphragmatic breathing and pelvic floor relaxation while they are breastfeeding their baby,” said Raza.

Limoges also mentioned feeding/pumping as an opportunity to do Kegels or breathing exercises, as your life during those first few months tends to revolve around these moments. She recalled working with one mom caring for her newborn while homeschooling her older children. She needed exercises that she could do while standing and wearing the baby, so Limoges prescribed some wall sets and lunges she could do.

Postpartum or not, Limoges said she limits treatment to a few daily exercises that a person can work into their routine without too much trouble and works with the patients to address their most urgent concerns within the context of their lives.

A mother of twins, Limoges recalled, was having issues with urgency to urinate. “But she was running into a problem because she couldn’t get the twins in a place that she could watch them and go to the bathroom at the same time.” She padded her bathtub so she could set them safely in it to pee without leaking or holding it too long.

While your body will never return exactly to what it was before pregnancy, Limoges believes that improvement is always possible with any of these physical issues.

“My goal is to get people to 90% at least,” Limoges said. “Can you get yourself to where you’re not hunting for the bathroom or worrying about wearing a pad everywhere you go or [not] leaving your house and those kinds of things? Absolutely.”

If Your Child Wants To Change Pronouns, Here’s What You Can Do And Say

Posted on 10/07/2023 by Boris Clair

The topic of children changing pronouns has caused quite the stir of late, with one Tory MP suggesting pronouns should be removed from schools to “protect children” and another saying kids should be banned from changing their pronouns at school.

The reality is though that we need to talk about pronouns. So we might as well be sensible about it.

More and more young people are challenging the concept of gender binary, according to family psychotherapist Fiona Yassin. The therapist has seen “a big increase” in the number of young people pausing and assessing their identity.

In fact, the founder and clinical director of The Wave Clinic, tells HuffPost UK around 60% of children and young people who are treated at the clinic request their pronouns are changed from the ones they were assigned at birth.

And in some cases, these children are pre-teens, which can catch parents off-guard.

“At The Wave Clinic, we’re specifically noticing that gender identity and pronouns are being debated by younger children at the ages of around 10-11,” she says.

“Questions of identity: ‘who am I?’ and ‘who do I want to be?’ are very strongly linked to the developing sense of self.”

Pronouns are words we use in everyday language to refer to ourselves or others, according to Stonewall, and they can be an important way for people to express their gender identity. Some commonly used pronouns are she/her, he/him and they/them.

“Whilst conversations around pronouns and identity have become commonplace amongst children, tweens and teens, the topic is unfamiliar to many parents and carers and they may not necessarily feel equipped with an understanding of, or language to talk about, pronouns and gender identity,” Yassin says.

With that in mind, here’s her advice for parents and carers on how to approach a conversation with a young person who would like to change their pronouns.

1. Stay with the information you’re presented with and avoid jumping ahead

“When a young person tells a parent that they are thinking of – or would like to – change their pronouns, parents often become alarmed that there’s also going to be a change in sexuality,” says Yassin.

And although the two can (and do sometimes) go together, it’s important for parents – and indeed, everyone – to understand that gender identity and sexuality are two different things.

She describes instances where young people have started a conversation about pronouns and have then been pressed by parents on whether they’re gay.

“This often happens because parents feel fearful about the transition their young person is wanting to make. In reality, there are many stages to transitioning and all require gentle communication,” she explains.

So, her key advice is to stay with the information you’ve been given, avoid jumping to conclusions and steer away from questioning your child about their sexuality.

2. Respond in an age appropriate way

If you have an 11-year-old talking to you about changing their pronouns, “it would be inappropriate to dive into a more extreme conversation, for example about surgical or hormonal changes,” says Yassin.

“If the conversation does evolve into this then it’s okay to explore this further. But it’s important to meet them where they are at and not get ahead,” she adds.

3. Be curious and actively listen

The charity Mermaids, which supports trans and gender diverse children and their families, says one of the key things they encourage parents or carers to do is to really listen to their child.

This means hearing and respecting what they are saying, giving them time and space to explore these feelings and what they mean for them as individuals, and taking their young person’s lead, says a charity spokesperson.

One of the most important things parents can do is to be curious, agrees Yassin.

“Without being persecutory or pushy, use this as an opportunity to find out what they are considering around their identity and why, and what different pronouns mean to them,” she suggests.

“Exploring this with your young person can be a beautiful moment – it’s likely that you are both navigating this for the first time. As a parent, you are not there to assert judgement or to share your opinion – acknowledge that your child’s feelings, emotions, thoughts, experiences and viewpoints on the world are likely different to yours.”

4. Set time aside to have a conversation where you won’t be interrupted

If you’re not able to listen properly – for example, it’s during the morning school rush or late at night – you need to gently defer the conversation for a time when you can do so.

Yassin advises parents to “acknowledge you’ve heard your young person and set a time aside when you know you can explore this together”.

So, you could say something like: “Thank you for sharing this with me. I really would like to hear about what you’re experiencing and find out more about your views and opinions on this. Let’s sit down together as a family when we get home and explore this together.”

5. Only invite people into the conversation who you know are open and understanding

If there’s someone in your family who you think will react badly or simply won’t be emotionally available or open to the conversation, it’s worth letting them sit this one out.

“It is better to have the conversation and explore this with your young person without someone who is tricky and has less flexible attitudes,” says the therapist.

“If you need to tell friends or family members who have staunch or more traditional views about your child’s change of pronouns, look to have these conversations without your child’s involvement. This helps to protect your young person from volatile and unhelpful reactions.”

6. Be careful about your choice of words

In the heat of the moment, and without the appropriate warning, you might say something you regret – or that comes out wrong.

Yassin urges parents to tread carefully here, as you don’t want to use any words that could minimise their experience.

“Fluidity is everything in these conversations and defining your young person by using words such as ‘queer’, ‘bisexual’ and ‘heterosexual’, may make them feel boxed-in or marginalised,” she says.

“In addition, some parents can get stuck on the notion that ‘they/them’ pronouns do not sound right or fit snugly into the English language. Avoid using language and phrases that can feel shaming and marginalising, such as, ‘it’s not natural to use they/them’.”

Some parents might also assume their child is following a trend or is in a phase when they decide they want to change pronouns.

As Yassin says: “We hear many parents ask ‘who else in your class/school has changed their pronoun’ or ‘who amongst your friends has done this already’. This line of questioning can feel disempowering and minimising to a young person and could cause quite an angry backlash.”

Plus, research is showing that the majority of children over the last decade or so who have changed their gender pronouns do stick with their decision.

7. Steer clear of shame-inducing language

Don’t shame your child for wanting to change their pronouns. The therapist suggests doing so could “cause harm to a generation of children who, because their parents are not accepting or retaining curiosity, shut down or hide parts of themselves”.

“Young people in the early years of identity development are experimenting and trying things out for size and it’s important that as parents, we encourage our young people to be curious and experiment,” she adds.

8. It’s okay to say you don’t know

If your child is asking questions and you don’t know the answers, it’s OK to admit that.

“Ask your young person if you can join them on their journey of discovery and learn and research together,” suggests the therapist.

“Assume that if your child comes to you with the conversation, it’s likely they have already done a lot of research online and are talking to people who are in the same position as them. Exploring this together can also help to sieve out misinformation and find trusted resources for support.”

9. Accept that you might make mistakes

Chances are you’ll probably make some mistakes along the way, like using the wrong language or stumbling on their pronouns.

“The reality is, we are all human and despite having best-intentions, you may not get it right 100% of the time,” says Yassin.

“Mark this at the outset and talk to your young person about what will happen if you use the wrong name or pronoun. Being open and honest upfront can help to avoid the issue escalating if mistakes are made.”

Mermaid’s spokesperson says some families don’t use any pronouns for a while, to help make the switch, or they have a pronoun jar (a little bit like a swear jar) where they pay up if they make a mistake.

“Acknowledging that getting someone’s pronouns wrong was a mistake and may have caused upset to them, so apologising and correcting yourself is important too,” they add.

10. Consult a gender positive therapist

If a child is considering changing their pronouns, you might also want to seek outside help to ensure they feel supported during this period of change. Mermaids’ helpline, for instance, provides support to parents and carers during this period.

“For some, the change can bring hefty conflict into the family and for some cultures this shift will be very difficult to accept,” says Yassin.

“Parents should happily consult a therapist, particularly a gender affirming and gender positive therapist, who can help to facilitate a conversation with the family about what’s happening and why it might be happening.

“Having professional support can help to avoid fragments and tension appearing within the family.”

‘My Body Is Craving A Break’: This Is What It Feels Like To Be ‘Touched Out’

Posted on 08/07/2023 by Boris Clair

As a breastfeeding mother of three, Krystal Duhaney is no stranger to the sensation of being “touched out”. She describes it as “reaching the point where you just want a little breathing room from constant physical contact”.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love cuddling and snuggling with my little ones, but there are moments when I feel like I’ve had enough,” Duhaney, a registered nurse, lactation consultant and founder of MilkyMama, told HuffPost.

“Imagine having tiny hands tugging at your clothes, clinging to your legs, lifting up your shirt, and constantly wanting to be held. It can be overwhelming, especially when you add breastfeeding into the mix. Sometimes, all you want is a moment of personal space to recharge and gather your thoughts.”

This phenomenon is most often reported by mothers, but any parent or caregiver can experience it. Some have described it as a skin-crawling or claustrophobic feeling. For Duhaney, being touched out can make her feel “a bit irritable and impatient”.

“It’s like my body is craving a break from the never-ending physical demands,” she said. “It doesn’t mean I love my children any less. It’s just a natural reaction to the constant touch and sensory stimulation.”

Parents may feel touched out for any number of reasons. The near-constant physical contact when taking care of young children, especially, is a big contributor – think nursing, rocking, holding, cuddling, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, etc. Personal space and alone time are in short supply when you have a baby or a toddler.

“Breastfeeding demands, especially when coupled with frequent nursing sessions, can add to the feeling of being touched out,” Duhaney said.

“Sometimes, all you want is a moment of personal space to recharge and gather your thoughts.”

– Krystal Duhaney, mother and lactation consultant

Plus, there’s the “sensory overload from the combination of physical touch, noise and other stimuli,” which can be overstimulating to moms, she added. This may be especially pronounced for mothers with ADHD or other neurodivergent parents.

The heavy mental and emotional burdens of modern parenthood – like the pursuit of trying to “do it all” – likely play a role in feeling touched out, too, experts say.

“There isn’t much space left to think about yourself when you are worrying and thinking about your child, spouse, and all the other tasks you are responsible for,” marriage and family therapist Gayane Aramyan told HuffPost.

Naturally, all of this can take a toll on your relationship with your partner, too. Aramyan said her clients who are mothers often tell her they “literally don’t want to be touched anymore at the end of the day” and “just want their own space”.

“It’s really hard to make space for the family members who are not infants to have close intimate touching when you have an infant hanging off of you all day,” psychologist Louise Packard told Motherly.

If you’re feeling touched out, here’s how to cope

“Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee alone, taking a quick walk, or simply locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes of peace, those moments of solitude can work wonders," Duhaney said. — “Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee alone, taking a quick walk, or simply locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes of peace, those moments of solitude can work wonders,” Duhaney said.

First, know that as unpleasant as this sensation can be, it is a very common experience and is in no way a reflection of your parenting abilities or the love you have for your family.

Mums often feel guilty for being touched out, but they shouldn’t: Bodily autonomy is a “normal human need,” psychologist Jessica Combs Rohr wrote in a blog post for Psychology Today.

“A fun thing about motherhood is you almost always feel like you are being a bad mother if you have a normal human reaction to difficult experiences,” she wrote in the story.

When you’ve reached your touch limit, communicate that to your family. Explain that you love them, but you need some time or space for yourself right now.

When you’re not so overwhelmed, have an honest conversation with your partner about what you’re feeling. That will help them understand what you’re dealing with and realise it isn’t personal.

“Set some boundaries and ask for support,” Duhaney said. “Your partner, family or friends can help share the load and give you some breathing room.”

Try to schedule some “me” time every day — even if a few minutes is all you can manage.

“It can be as small as 10 minutes before everybody else waking up,” Aramyan said. “Or taking 10 minutes during your child’s nap to not do anything but sit and read, or meditate. It’s important to fill our cup not just with girls’ nights or date nights or exercise, but to have something that happens daily for us to get something done for ourselves.”

Duhaney said it’s also important to give yourself permission to take breaks without feeling guilty about it.

“It’s OK to step away and recharge. Find moments throughout the day to steal some personal space,” she said. “Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee alone, taking a quick walk, or simply locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes of peace, those moments of solitude can work wonders.”

Connecting with other parents who understand firsthand what you’re going through can also help.

“Find online communities or local mom groups where you can share your experiences, vent, and get advice from moms who’ve been there,” Duhaney said. “Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone in feeling touched out can bring a sense of relief and validation.”

If your partner is the one feeling touched out, here’s how you can help

If you’re the partner of a touched-out mum, be supportive and understanding. Respect her boundaries, which may mean putting your desire for physical affection on the back burner temporarily.

“Show empathy and understanding by acknowledging her feelings and validating her experiences,” Duhaney said. “Let her know that you’re there for her and ready to help in any way you can.”

Make sure you’re pulling your weight when it comes to caregiving and other household responsibilities. See where you can do more to lighten her load.

“Offer to take over some tasks, such as feeding, diaper changes or bedtime routines, to give her a break,” Duhaney said. “By sharing the load, you’ll provide her with the opportunity to recharge and have some much-needed personal space.”

“Pay attention to signs of her feeling overwhelmed and step in to assist before she reaches her breaking point.”

– Duhaney

Be proactive about stepping up without always needing prompting or reminders from your partner.

“Anticipate her needs and offer help without waiting to be asked. Pay attention to signs of her feeling overwhelmed and step in to assist before she reaches her breaking point,” Duhaney said. “Proactively taking care of household chores or offering a listening ear can go a long way in easing her burden and making her feel supported.”

For the time being, sex may feel like yet another thing she has to do for someone else — but there are many other ways to foster intimacy. Maybe that’s getting a date night on the calendar once a month, setting aside 15 minutes at night to talk about stuff other than kids or household logistics, holding hands while watching TV or giving her a foot rub after a long day.

Encourage your partner to prioritize time for herself and help her make it happen.

“Support her in taking time for herself, whether it’s a relaxing bath, a solo outing, or pursuing a hobby she enjoys,” Duhaney said. “Offer to take care of the kids during those times, so she can fully focus on rejuvenating herself.”

This Mum Potty Trained Her Two-Year-Old In 72 Hours Using The ‘3P Method’

Posted on 07/07/2023 by Boris Clair

Potty training is not for the fainthearted. It requires oodles of patience, a lot of wipes and an ability to be increasingly chilled when a poo turns up on your nice cream carpet.

But once your child is out of nappies and proudly doing wees and poos in their potty (or on the toilet) it’s a very rewarding feeling for all involved.

One mum-of-two recently took to TikTok to share how she managed to potty train her two-year-old in 72 hours (aka three days) – and we have nothing but respect for this toileting champion.

Courtney Ryrie-Novack, who is known as @scottishcourt on the app, said she used something called the ‘3P method’.

Those Ps stand for: persistence, patience and praise. Sounds interesting. So what does it all involve?

For starters, Courtney shared that she and her toddler didn’t leave the house for three days while they embarked on the potty training mission. And for that entire time, her son was naked.

Discussing the ‘persistence’ part of the 3Ps, Courtney said this is “most important” in the first day or however long it takes for your child to grasp that the potty is where they need to do poos or wees.

“Personally for us it was one day to know where the pee or whatever goes. So every 10 minutes you’re going to put your child on the toilet and say: you need to go pee, or poo, or whatever word you want to use,” she explained.

“You’re going to fill them up with juice … and you fill [them] all day long, and every single 10 minutes: [put them on the] toilet, toilet, toilet. And you do that until it’s bedtime, and that’s when we put a nappy on.”

She added that when her son first started using the potty, they’d use a distraction like an iPad to keep him sitting there, because otherwise he would try and run away.

There were some downsides to this technique, however. “He kind of tried tricking us sometimes by sitting on it for like 20 minutes so he could watch 20 minutes of his iPad, but we kind of let it pass the first day because – like I said – it was his first day,” she said.

By the end of the first day, Courtney said her son knew where he needed to pee and would know to get his parents, so they could take him to the toilet. And by the end of day two, he was going to the toilet by himself.

The mum added that ‘patience’ is also crucial during this time – and especially on the first day – because there will be a lot of accidents.

On the second day, she said her son was no longer having any accidents in the wee department, but did a couple of rogue poos. But that’s to be expected.

Moving on to the third P – ‘praise’ – Courtney said this is definitely the most important part of the process.

“We’re never going to scold our kid for missing the toilet, not making [it to] the toilet, or just not doing it in the toilet,” she said. “Because it’s not their fault. All they’ve known their whole life is ‘do it wherever I am in my diaper’.”

So, when children end up weeing or pooing on the potty, she encouraged parents to check what’s in the potty and then cheer and celebrate with them. She suggested you could give them a sticker, sweet or a toy – “whatever you think will motivate them”.

In her case it was chocolate, and it worked like a dream.

Fellow parents were keen to try the process, while others shared their own success. “I was a toddler teacher and this is exactly how I ended up potty training my two boys and how I recommended my friends potty train theirs,” said one mum.

There is no set age to start potty training as every child is different, however the NHS does recommend that around the age of 18 months to two years old parents can introduce sitting on the potty as part of the normal daily routine.

Do You Actually Forget The Pain Of Labour? This Mum Did Six Months After Giving Birth

Posted on 07/07/2023 by Boris Clair

A mum has revealed how just six months after giving birth, she can’t remember the pain of labour. And it’s something many – but not all – can relate to.

“My husband thinks this is crazy. But I didn’t know if anyone else experienced this,” revealed the parent. “I gave birth almost six months ago and I don’t remember the pain.”

The phenomenon is not uncommon. Lots of women report not quite remembering the sensations of labour, even though they recall it was painful for them at the time.

“I vividly remember being in pain, and clutching the hospital bed rails with all my might, but the actual pain, [I] can’t recall it for anything,” said the mum, taking to Reddit.

“It blows my mind. Like I know I had contractions for hours, but I couldn’t even tell you what they felt like.”

Other parents were equally baffled and shared their own experiences of not remembering the sensations of birth. “I remember between (screaming through) contractions I said to my husband, ‘how do siblings exist?!’” said one.

“Two weeks later I’m picking out sibling names.”

But not everyone shared the reduced memory recall, as far as pain was concerned. “I can vividly recall every single pain and I’ve already decided to never do it again,” said one parent.

Another added: “Can’t relate. The pain haunts me daily.”

So, why is this?

Unsurprisingly it’s not a well-studied area, but one study of women’s memory of labour pain – from two months to five years after birth – found memory of labour pain did decline in a lot of women over a period of time.

But for those who had a negative overall experience of childbirth, the memory of labour pain didn’t decline. What’s more, women who had an epidural – suggesting they experienced extreme pain during birth – reported higher pain scores at all time points, suggesting that these women remember the ‘peak pain’ of labour.

In a piece for the Conversation, Monique Robinson, of the Telethon Institute for Child Health Research at The University of Western Australia, suggested lots of other factors can play a part in how a birth is remembered. So things like: satisfaction with care-providers, choice of pain relief, level of medical intervention, complications, outcomes for the baby, and other personal factors.

All of these would add up to either form a positive or negative birth experience. Positive experiences are less likely to be associated with pain, whereas negative ones are.

Discussing why some people might forget the pain of birth, Jennifer Conti, clinical professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at Stanford University, told Self her theory is that from an evolutionary perspective, the survival of our species could depend on women forgetting the pain of labour and birth.

“If you can’t remember how intense your [birth experience] was, maybe you’re more likely to do it again and reproduce,” she said.

“I often hear women say that they can remember that they were in pain during labour, but can’t actually recall the perception or intensity that well. On the other hand, there are women who swear they remember the event like it happened yesterday.”

If You Want A Cheaper Family Center Parcs Holiday, You Should Try This

Posted on 06/07/2023 by Boris Clair

When it comes to quintessential British family holidays, Center Parcs is up there – between the cute log cabins, wealth of things to do and picturesque settings, it’s got a lot going for it, especially as far as parents are concerned.

But one thing that can put some families off – especially given the current financial climate – is the price tag that comes with a week-long break.

Consumer champion Which? recently found that, on average, the cost of a UK Center Parcs stay is roughly £1,274. And that’s for a family of four to stay at a site for four nights during a peak period like half term.

But if you’re after a cheaper way to enjoy Center Parc’s outdoor adventure vibes, it might just be worth looking further afield.

A new report from Which? found families could more than halve the cost of a Center Parcs break by booking in Europe instead of the UK.

Oh, really?

Yup. The consumer group compared the cost of a four-night stay for a family of four at 16 Center Parcs sites across England, France and Belgium during four peak periods.

It found a UK stay came in at £1,274 on average, compared to £833 in France and £701 in Belgium.

Which? said the biggest price differences could be found for bookings over October half-term and Easter, partly due to differences between the school calendars here and in Europe.

On average, a family could save 55% opting for a Center Parcs resort in Belgium rather than the UK over October half term, with a four night break costing just £613, compared to £1,369 in the UK.

And the savings in France were almost as good, with the same stay costing £868 on average.

But don’t the travel costs make it more expensive?

Of course, with any trip abroad you need to factor in travel costs – and these can really rack up when the kids are off school, especially if you choose to fly.

That said, when Which? factored in travel costs – like taking a ferry and then driving – they still found families could save hundreds of pounds overall.

For example, Dunkirk is less than an hour’s drive from Center Parcs’ Park de Haan, in Belgium.

At the time of writing, a return ferry trip for a family of four from Dover to Dunkirk could be booked for approximately £170 during the October half-term.

Similarly, a return car ferry for a family of four from Dover to Calais could be booked for £125 return during October half term, and over Easter weekend a return journey via Le Shuttle can be booked for £179.

Venturing to European Center Parcs sites is something more and more parents are wising up to. One mum previously told The Sun how she took her family to Center Parcs in the Netherlands during the Easter holidays and saved hundreds of pounds.

For £680 she managed to bag a week in a three-bed cottage. She also suggested activities were cheaper in the Netherlands than in the UK.

And Which? also found this. Its analysis found archery costs between £19 and £26.50 at the UK’s Whinfell Forest park, while it costs £14 at Belgium’s Park de Haan. Similarly, Laser Battle games range in price from £24.50 to £34.50 at Whinfell Forest, and cost £15 at Park de Haan.

Jo Rhodes, deputy editor of Which? Travel, said: “Our research found that it’s well-worth casting your eye beyond the Channel to snap up some significant savings

Can I Be Pregnant And Not Know? Welcome To The World Of Cryptic Pregnancies

Posted on 06/07/2023 by Boris Clair

Being pregnant and birthing a baby can be stressful enough, but getting pregnant and going into labour without even knowing about it? Well, that’s unlocked a new fear.

Some people are taking to TikTok to share their accounts of ‘cryptic’ or ‘invisible’ pregnancies.

Kayla Nicole Simpson (@kaylanicolesimpson) shared how she went to the emergency room with severe abdominal pain, thinking she had appendicitis. But at the hospital, an ultrasound revealed she was pregnant.

Doctors swiftly realised she was crowning and she was rushed to the labour ward where, in 15 minutes, she’d given birth to a baby girl.

“Throughout my so-called pregnancy I had lost 30lbs, was the flattest I had ever been and had my period every month,” Simpson recalled.

What is a cryptic pregnancy?

In short, it’s where you don’t realise you’re pregnant because your body doesn’t really give you any of the tell-tale signs.

While for a very small amount of people they might not realise they’re pregnant until labour, a cryptic pregnancy can also apply to people who don’t realise they’re pregnant until at least 20 weeks.

Some people might not experience any symptoms, or very mild symptoms of pregnancy; others might blame their pregnancy symptoms on issues, like stress; and some might not grow a baby bump at all.

Why do some women not get a baby bump?

TikTok creator Nikki Salazer shared a video of her story. While she knew she was pregnant, it didn’t take away from the fact that not getting a bump felt a bit strange.

“As the months went by, I still had nothing,” she explained. “But I still had all the symptoms and felt kicking regularly. At eight months, I started to feel very heavy – but still, no bump.

“No-one could believe I was pregnant – even at the hospital. Thankfully, I had a healthy birth and delivery.”

Dr Karan Raj stitched Salazer’s video with some commentary of his own to explain just why these hidden bump pregnancies occur. “There are a number of factors that could contribute to this,” he said.

Apparently, it’s all to do with the shape of your uterus – and if you have a retroverted uterus, it’s easier for your baby to hide.

“Most women have an ‘anteverted’ uterus where it’s slightly tilted forwards,” said Dr Raj.

“But one in five have a backwards tilt towards the spine. For some women, it may remain tilted backwards for the duration of the pregnancy. This backwards growth could hide any bump.”

He explained that previous surgery, endometriosis and other gynaecological conditions could scar what’s known as the uterosacral ligaments, which “keep the uterus fixed to the spine and inside the pelvic cavities”.

“If these are stiff because of scarring, these ligaments can literally hold the uterus back and stop it from protruding too far out,” he said, which will result in a tiny little bump, or no bump at all.

And bad news if you’re tall… “If you’re taller, you’ll have a longer torso, so there’ll be more space for the uterus to develop upwards rather than just outwards,” added Dr Raj.

Gym bunnies should be wary, too, as a super strong stomach could have the same effect. “If you have well-developed rectus abdominal muscles, the uterus may develop closer to your core, rather than protruding out,” he said.

Other causes can include:

Having recently given birth,
PCOS,
Peri-menopause.

How common are cryptic pregnancies?

The good news is cryptic pregnancies are relatively rare. Studies suggest that around one in 475 pregnancies aren’t noticed until about 20 weeks gestation, which is halfway into the pregnancy.

And around one in 2,500 pregnancies go completely unnoticed until delivery.

On the upside, not having a huge bump getting in the way of tying your shoes, picking things up and generally moving around can be super beneficial.

But the emotional trauma of suddenly going into labour must be… well, a lot.

Although as Kayla Simpson said: “Within those 15 minutes my life changed forever – and now I can say for the better … Obviously I was in shock but I do think that things happen for a reason.”

NHS Launches ‘Virtual Wards’ To Help Kids Access Hospital Care At Home

Posted on 05/07/2023 by Boris Clair

Tens of thousands of children are set to receive hospital-level care at home as part of an expansion of virtual wards on the NHS.

The announcement is set to come from NHS chief executive Amanda Pritchard on the 75 anniversary of the health service.

The ‘hospital at home’ service will cover children in every region of England from this month, after successfully treating more than 6,400 children in a pilot scheme over the last year.

Pritchard said the NHS virtual wards programme has “provided peace of mind” to parents who have used them during trials, including in Blackpool, Dudley and Dorset.

What is a virtual ward and how does it work?

Virtual wards allow patients to get hospital-level care at home safely and in familiar surroundings, helping speed up their recovery while freeing up hospital beds.

Children on a virtual ward would be cared for by a multi-skilled team who can provide a range of tests and treatments, including blood tests, prescribing medication or administering fluids through an intravenous drip.

They would be reviewed daily by the clinical team and the ‘ward round’ may involve a home visit or take place through video calls.

Many virtual wards use technology like apps, wearables and other medical devices enabling clinical staff to easily check in and monitor patients’ recovery.

Children will be treated for a range of conditions like respiratory illness, such as asthma, and heart conditions, but from the comfort of their homes.

How is it helping children?

In Blackpool, almost 200 children have been treated on a paediatric virtual ward.

Hope Ezard, who is 21 months old, is one of them. She was born prematurely at just 29-weeks and has a rare neurodevelopmental disorder, GNB5, as well as chronic lung disease and feeding issues.

Hope has been in and out of hospital for most of her life to be treated for recurring respiratory infections, and to receive high-pressure oxygen and antibiotics.

The introduction of the virtual ward meant Hope could be moved home sooner.

Hope’s mum, Sarah, 39, said being able to receive care at home “is so beneficial to Hope, and our other children”.

“We know that in general, Hope doesn’t sleep very well when she’s in hospital and is more vulnerable to hospital infections, so there is peace of mind when she’s being cared for at home, on the virtual ward,” she said.

“She’s less likely to pick up anything that might make her more poorly, and she’s relaxed and comfortable in her own bed.

“And the fact that the brilliant community nurses are just a phone call away reduces any anxieties that we might have had.”

In Dudley, mum Anum Shazady praised the virtual ward for keeping her son out of hospital, with twice daily calls from NHS staff.

Anum said: “Now my son is on the virtual ward I can record his observations as many times as I want throughout the day, recording them onto the virtual ward pad and a member of staff calls me twice daily which reassures me that he is safe in our home environment.

“The new virtual ward is great for me and my family as it stops my son staying in hospital longer than he needs.”

Why are they expanding the scheme?

The ultimate aim is to free up hospital beds – especially ahead of winter.

NHS chief executive Amanda Pritchard said: “Virtual wards are already providing excellent care to families when their children are sick, and this expansion will enable thousands more to receive high quality care from home.

“Being treated at home can have a hugely positive impact on patients – it means they receive hospital-level care, but it also means they are not separated from their families – providing peace of mind for loved ones.

“As we look to the next 75 years of the NHS, we will continue to embrace the latest technologies and innovations to meet the changing needs of patients while ensuring that care is as convenient as possible.”

Chrissy Teigen And John Legend Welcome Their Fourth Child Via Surrogate

Posted on 28/06/2023 by Boris Clair

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are now parents of four.

Teigen announced the arrival of their son, Wren Alexander Stephens, in a thoughtful Instagram post on Wednesday, sharing how their baby boy was born on Monday, June 19, via surrogate.

In her post, the cookbook author detailed her unique experience being pregnant at the same time as her “incredible, loving, compassionate surrogate”, Alexandra, who gave birth to Wren just five months after the star welcomed daughter Esti in January.

Teigen decided to pursue IVF while working with her surrogate in hopes of achieving her dream of having four kids. The star and Legend already shared daughter Luna, 7, and son Miles, 5, at the time.

Five months into Teigen’s pregnancy, she learned Alexandra was expecting their baby boy.

They celebrated by watching reality TV “with our growing bellies, our families blending into one for the past year”, she said.

“Just minutes before midnight on June 19th, I got to witness the most beautiful woman, my friend, our surrogate, give birth amidst a bit of chaos, but with strength and pure joy and love,” Teigen continued.

“We want to say thank you for this incredible gift you have given us, Alexandra,” she added. “And we are so happy to tell the world he is here, with a name forever connected to you, Wren Alexander Stephens.”

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend attend the 2023 Vanity Fair Oscar Party on March 12, 2023. The couple recently announced their fourth child, a son named Wren Alexander Stephens.

“Our hearts, and our home, are officially full,” she added.

Teigen also remembered their late son Jack writing, “We know both their angel kisses are from you.”

The model and her EGOT husband lost Jack in October 2020 after she experienced complications while pregnant.

Teigen wrote about her experience on Instagram at the time, sharing, “We are shocked, and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.”

Though Teigen’s pregnancy loss was widely reported as a miscarriage, she later revealed she had a life-saving abortion as the doctors told her she was carrying a “baby that had absolutely no chance” of surviving birth.

“Let’s just call it what it was,” Teigen said during a talk in September 2022. “It was an abortion.”

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