Everyone has opinions about how to get a good job and keep one, and it’s hard to figure out which pointers are actually helpful to follow.

What your well-meaning uncle, professor or manager says you need to do for your next job move may actually be disastrous to follow. To be savvy, you need to learn how to weed out the kernels of good career tips from the bad.

To help professionals avoid these mistakes, we asked career experts to share the worst, most common pieces of job advice you’re going to hear a lot in your life. Read on to learn why these boilerplate outlooks can hold you back and what alternative advice you should follow instead.

This is bad advice because job descriptions are not necessarily realistic and are often written as a “wish list” from the employer’s point of view, said Cynthia Pong, founder of Embrace Change, a career coaching and consulting firm.

“Many people, especially women of colour, people of colour, women in general and others from underrepresented backgrounds or with non-traditional career paths, may self-select out of applying because they don’t meet all the criteria listed,” she said.

Just because a job listing states a desired education requirement does not mean you actually need it. For example, in 2017, Accenture, Grads of Life and Harvard Business School conducted an analysis of 26 million job postings and 600 business and HR executive surveys. They found that 67% of the job postings required at least a bachelor’s degree, yet only 16% of employees who were already in those jobs held that degree. The findings are a reminder that many jobs do not require a college degree to succeed, despite what companies advertise.

Instead of taking yourself out of the running before you apply, Pong advised that it is better to “apply if you meet most key qualifications.”

If you have every skill and experience listed in the description, the job opportunity is likely a lateral career move. But if the role is going to push you beyond what you already know, that’s a sign of a good stretch opportunity, and that’s what actually helps you grow in your career.

One important caveat, though, is that a hiring manager is not going to automatically understand why your unique skill set makes you the best hire — you need to explain that to them.

Pong said job seekers should use the cover letter or other application materials “to connect the dots for the hiring manager as to how your past experience is transferable and will enable you to excel in the particular role, even though you may not check all the boxes for them.”

“As someone on the hiring side, I look at the overall qualities and growth potential that a person brings to the table more than their specific skill set, especially if the person demonstrates a strong ability to learn and teach themselves how to do new things,” she continued.

Even if you do not get the job, applying for the role puts you on an employer’s radar.

“If someone’s not a fit for a particular role, it’s a great opportunity to keep them in mind for another role or future work,” Pong said.

The message behind this common feel-good platitude is that passion alone will make the drudgery of work go away. But there’s no one correct way to feel about your job. It’s perfectly normal for a job to just be a paycheque that funds your life outside of it. Even dream jobs that are fulfilling and meaningful come with hard days, difficult deadlines and the potential for burnout.

Sometimes, the activity you love to do most is an unrealistic career. Don’t be guilted into monetising your passion hobby into your next side hustle just because you enjoy it. In some cases, it’s better to keep your ceramics hobby as a relaxing extracurricular than your next career.

As Gorick Ng, a career adviser at Harvard University and author of “The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right,” previously told HuffPost, “Do you love the business of doing something as much as you love doing the thing itself? Not everyone will say yes to this question and that’s OK.”

It’s normal to want meaning and purpose in what you do for a living, but don’t put more pressure on your work to be more than work. Ng suggested rewriting the advice of “find a job you love” to say, “Find something that brings you joy and purpose every day, and you’ll always have something to look forward to.”

There is an outdated assumption that the longer you stay at a job, the more reliable and responsible you seem to other employers.

Although some employers do judge “job-hoppers” as disloyal, there are many more who understand that a career at one company is unrealistic for people to achieve now in an unstable job market.

Harleny Vasquez, a career coach and university speaker, said she tried following the “stick it out” advice when she was starting her social work career.

“I remember feeling burnt out and unsatisfied, and the idea of sticking it out at one job only added to that frustration,” she said. “What’s more, I already had a history of job-hopping, so pivoting felt like I was breaking some unspoken rule and made me feel guilty.”

From that experience, Vasquez learned that “it’s OK to prioritise your happiness and growth. If a job isn’t fulfilling you, it’s perfectly fine to explore other options.”

“Don’t let guilt hold you back from finding a career path that truly fits you,” she added.

Having multiple jobs can actually make you a more desirable candidate.

“Employers now often look for candidates who have a range of experiences, have tackled various challenge and have a demonstrated ability to adapt to new environments and learn quickly,” said career coach and diversity consultant Ebony Joyce.

Instead of the outdated advice to stick it out, a more relevant and empowering approach is to actively manage your own career paths, Joyce said. To do that, she recommended embracing continuous learning and being open to training in new skills that are relevant to what you want to do.

“Regularly assess whether your current role aligns with your personal values and long-term career goals,” she said.

The message behind this clichéd advice is that if you work hard to make an impact at your job, your company will reward your efforts and help you succeed. It can be comforting to believe, but arbitrary layoffs of talented individuals show the glaring problems with this viewpoint.

“I think that this advice makes us feel like we have some control over what companies decide to do when we absolutely do not [have control] if a company decides to eliminate a product or shut down a division or scale down a department,” career and leadership coach Phoebe Gavin previously told HuffPost. “They’re just going to do that.“

Instead of following the advice to “make yourself indispensable,” Gavin said employees should focus on building up their layoff resiliency. They can do this by building up their financial cushion and investing in their network, so that it’s easier to walk away from a role that’s not working for them.

“Humans are social creatures, we tend to share information and give the benefit of the doubt to folks that we know,” Gavin said. “And so if you have great skills, but you don’t have a great network, it is still going to be much more challenging for you to step into another role.”

Too often, professionals are asked to take on unpaid assignments or additional responsibilities outside of their role because it will supposedly be good for their career.

“These requests come with the promise of increasing experience or enhancing visibility, but what is often not considered is that the employee is often not given the institutional support to thrive,” said Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite, a career coach and licensed psychologist.

Horsham-Brathwaite said she’s been given this advice and has taken on extra work or roles without a title, but it did not help her career.

“I felt devalued and a bit resentful, and it impacted my ability to be as effective in the role,” she said.

Before accepting any task for exposure, you should have a “formal and financial acknowledgment of the role you are being asked to take on,” Horsham-Brathwaite said. “If the company is unwilling to do so, use this as an opportunity to find a role or organisation that sees your value.”

But take this advice on a case-by-case basis. Sometimes, doing something for exposure can actually help your career. If it can give you a new ally or a marketable skill that you want, it may be worth it.

Pong gave the example of someone being asked to lead a committee at work. The extra role would be additional, uncompensated work, but it would give this person access to meet certain influential people in the company and also build relationships with them. Working closely with these leaders could convert them into mentors who can later advocate on behalf of this employee.

“So if there were a significant likelihood of this kind of win in taking on the additional work, then it could well be worth it,” Pong said.

Nell Wulfhart, a decision coach who helps professionals get “unstuck,” said the bad advice she often sees clients take is to stay at a job when a work issue does not change because someone keeps promising it will.

Wulfhart shared the classic example of when a colleague quits and you’re asked to pick up their duties.

“‘It’s temporary,’ you’re told. ‘We’re going to hire a replacement ASAP,’ and then they don’t. And you just keep doing two jobs,” she said. “Whenever you ask when things are going to change, you’re told, ‘Change is coming, management is working on it.’”

Wulfhart said clients will often come to her to ask if they should quit their job because a promised reward, promotion or raise hasn’t arrived.

“They know that rationally it makes sense to quit, but there’s always a sense of hope that the people in charge will make good on their word, despite the lack of evidence to the contrary,” she said.

Instead of waiting around, Wulfhart said that it’s better “to look at what the company does, not listen to what they say.”

“Are they making a visible effort to hire that replacement, get you an assistant or give you a raise? Or are they just talking? Have you seen them make promises in the past and fulfil those promises or not?” she said. “Try ignoring the words for a while and observe actions instead ― you’ll have a lot more data with which to make your decision.”

Actions speak louder than words. One of the hardest yet most rewarding career lessons is knowing when enough is enough and when it’s time to move on.

Your 20s can be a tumultuous time of discovery, and it can help to hear from people on the other side.

Take it from me. I’m in my 30s. I don’t have regrets about the detours and pivots my career has taken, but if I could go back in time to the previous decade, I would tell my younger self to negotiate her starting salary when she gets that one job offer — because the thousands lost compared to her peers will sting later.

Back then, I was so grateful to have a job, I didn’t realise employers should also be grateful to have me.

And I would let her know that the people you work with matter just as much, if not more, than the work you end up doing. You can’t get good work done without mutual respect. Caring co-workers kept me sane during long shifts in an unstable industry while bad colleagues drove me out of projects I enjoyed doing. Learning who will be a bigger headache to work with means learning to trust your instincts, and for a long time, I didn’t trust mine.

Those are my two pieces of hard-won wisdom –– what are yours?

If you need inspiration, listen to these experts. HuffPost reached out to writers, artists, creatives, entrepreneurs, and professionals in STEM who are also in their 30s about the career advice they wish they could tell their 20-something selves. They shared thoughtful, nuanced advice that you can take with you, regardless of where you are in your career journey.

Some answers were lightly edited for clarity and length.

“I am currently in my 30s, and I would tell my 20-year-old self to not put stock into what people think of my potential. Directly, I’d say: Raise that chin, girl, the best thing for you will eventually be your ability to disregard everything they taught you to ‘succeed,’ including the ‘right’ path towards that goal. You’re going to forge a path all on your own, so nurture your passions and you’ll soon see how it will pay off. Shit feels hard right now, but all these experiences will fuel your writings. Feel your feelings and don’t be scared of your voice. Your writing will free you.” ―Prisca Dorcas Mojica Rodríguez, founder of Latina Rebels and author of “For Brown Girls with Sharp Edges and Tender Hearts: A Love Letter to Women of Colour”

“I wish I’d been told in my 20s that there is no such thing as a ‘dream job’ and that I should think hard about what success really means to me. Back then, I thought my dream job was to simply rise higher in the ranks of the company or start my own business (which I later did, and spoiler alert: It was still not a ‘dream job!’).

“I thought it meant a specific title or reaching a specific salary goal. It’s only recently that I’ve realised that success and fulfilment in a job (to me) means having continuous growth and learning, connecting with others, having time to think and create deeply, and feeling proud of the work I put out. It also means having things outside of work that inspire me and bring meaning to my life. Work can be fun and fulfilling, but it can’t be everything.” ―Alisha Ramos, founder of Girls’ Night In

“I’d give her a big hug and I’d tell her: Go toward what you like to do, not what you think you should do. Make friends you love and make art with those friends. Focus on what you can control. Create comedy that makes you laugh and art that feels real to you, and once you’ve done that, do it again. Things take time, so make time for life, too.” ―Alyssa Limperis, comedian and actor

“For those in their 20s, my advice is this: Figure out who you want to impress—and what they will be impressed by. Every profession has its tried and tested paths. … The sooner you uncover the unspoken rules of your desired profession, the sooner you can start focusing your time on the highest-impact activities — and the sooner you’ll reach your career goals.” ―Gorick Ng, a career adviser at Harvard University and the author of “The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right”

“My biggest piece of advice I think would be centered around building authentic honest relationships and valuing them. So many parts of my success [have] been boiled down to doing the right thing by my relationships.

“…Put in the time to be the best at what you do, so that the value of your talents [is] always seen. The opportunities that relationships offer won’t matter if you can’t shine.

“…Spend time on the little things and be true to your word. Relationships of any kind are a social contract in communication and expectations. If you become known as someone who will do what you say they will do and are honest about what you can’t do or don’t know, you will fulfill that social contact every time. It’s valuable for people to know what they can expect from you.

“People would much rather you underpromise and overdeliver than overpromise and underdeliver. But if you do promise something, do the things necessary to make it happen, even if that means sacrificing some other things. The goal here is that next time you are only promising what you can do without sacrificing other relationships. Unfortunately, sometimes the only or best way to learn is from experience.

“…Value and respect everyone! You never know who will be the one in your corner or whose life you can change in the process. It’s not always the most accomplished people in the relationship that bring the most value.” ―Jamal Robinson, director of sales and marketing for New England Brewing Co.

“Society will pressure you to act and look non-disabled. Resisting these ableist pressures will feel hard at first, but it’s critical you define for yourself how success looks and feels.” ―Haben Girma, human rights lawyer and author of “Haben: The Deafblind Woman Who Conquered Harvard Law”

“I started this competitive road cycling journey almost exactly 10 years ago. I spent a lot of time worried about people who were being very mean and negative about my big dreams.

“I also had no idea what I was doing and frequently felt anxiety about figuring out next steps. I think my advice from my 36-year-old self to my 26-year-old-self would be, ‘Don’t worry so much about the folks who don’t believe in what you’re doing, you can reinvent yourself as many times as you want, and trust your instincts and pay attention, the next step will come to you!’ Honestly, this is advice I can still use today.” ―Ayesha McGowan, professional road cyclist for Liv Racing TeqFind

“Be open to new opportunities. Don’t be afraid to travel if you can. The market for what we do is expanding. Don’t miss out on good money and good life experiences for what is comfortable.” ―Demetrious Parker, microbiologist

“Your 20s is a great time to take career risks. It’s easier to bounce back from failures and course-correct at this stage of life.” ―Martinus Evans, marathoner, running coach and founder of Slow AF Run Club

“The thing you got your degree in doesn’t have to be the thing you do for the rest of your life. It’s never too late to change your mind, you’re never too old to shift gears, and there’s never a bad time to start something new. The life you imagined when you were in your 20s can drastically shift when you’re in your 30s. It’s good to acknowledge when you’ve outgrown your dreams or when they’re no longer serving you in the way you had hoped.

“It can be scary to dive into something unfamiliar later in life, but it can also be extremely rewarding. You may have to learn new skills or give up old comforts, but don’t let that stop you; life is longer than you think. Even tattoos and marriages aren’t permanent ― trust me, I know from experience.” ―Carla Stickler, Spotify software engineer and Broadway performer

“Start therapy sooner so that you can recognise when your childhood wounds are being exploited by an employer and their reward system. If you’re used to ‘enduring’ through a lot of difficult things growing up, you’re more likely to normalise toxicity and endure an experience that’s negatively impacting your health.

“If you’ve struggled with feeling like you’re enough or if you grew up believing that you have to prove to someone that you are valuable, you’re more likely to allow companies and managers to exploit your talent. So, I’d tell myself: ‘Vivianne, you don’t have to endure anymore, and everything will be OK. Go design the life and career that you want.’” ―Vivianne Castillo, UX researcher and founder of HmntyCntrd, a community supporting UX and tech professionals

“Spend a significant amount of time working on yourself. And be open-minded and honest about it. Learn who you are, what you’re good at, bad at, what motivates you and keeps you happy and productive. Learn what you’re passionate about. Learn why you think and react the way you do.

“….You are the most valuable in your career and your relationships when you understand who you are and what you bring to the table. If you don’t know yourself, you’re asking a lot for someone else to know.”

“The truth is, most people live their lives working a job because they feel like they have to and don’t know what their passions are or who they are. But the percentage of people who do know these things are the percentage that is the most happy, fulfilled and successful.” ―Robinson

“Behind every inspiring leader is a professional coach, therapist, mentor, you name it. I wish I started working with a professional coach early on in my career to get a decade’s head start on developing myself into the leader, manager, colleague, and person I aspire to be. Also, a note to the under-30s, oftentimes professional coaches charge a lower rate for those in this age range to encourage this growth.” ―Marian Cheng, co-founder of Mimi Cheng’s Dumplings restaurants

“If I could, I’d tell my younger self to approach a career less like a goal to be conquered, attained, or ‘figured out’ and more like an ever-changing entity, to investigate and nurture. I’d encourage her to prioritise meeting people, gathering information and asking questions. As I near the end of my 30s, I can say without hesitation that fostering connections has not only led to my greatest moments of career growth, it’s also made the path less lonely and a lot more interesting.

“I wish someone had told me that the snapshots of success we’re sold are often a myth ― no career, including ‘stable’ jobs with a clearly defined ladder, will ever provide unwavering security and satisfaction. Circumstances change, just like markets and people, a fact that can bring comfort. If experience has taught me anything, it’s that nothing is static for long. If you make a wrong choice, you can always choose again.” ―Caroline Cala Donofrio, writer, ghostwriter/collaborator and author of “Best Babysitters Ever” series

“I look back at myself in my 20s and I had my dream job — a job I’d been motivated to get since I was 10 years old. I worked at Condé Nast for Allure magazine … I couldn’t imagine ever leaving. And I was scared to, because to me, that job … defined ‘success,’ and at that time, I didn’t realise how my definition of success at work would change. And it has ― a lot.

“I’d tell my 20-something-year-old self to be ready for more successes that would look and feel different … To be brave and leave a position where I felt successful behind to create a feeling of success somewhere new. Throughout the last decade, I’ve felt successful by both how much money I’ve made and how many KPIs I could attach to my achievements. Today, I define success by how much pride I have in the company I work for and its values, and the way I can mentor and motivate my team to reach their own definition of success.” ―Vicky Land, senior vice president of brand and communications, Barry’s

“Nurture your intuition with the same rigour of intellectual pursuits. What they don’t tell you in school is that making a product, shaping a business, leading a team ― those are all fundamentally art forms.

“The task is to build a disciplined creative process ― to get out of the weeds, and get fully connected to your full body receptors as you step into shifting through signals in order to make tough judgment calls. … You have to go both inwards and also outside of your daily tasks to build and strengthen this muscle and to connect the dots that lead to bursts of inspiration, the courage to pivot, or simply clarity on a decision.” ―Elise Densborn, Co-CEO, Splendid Spoon

“I wish someone had told me that respect and prestige are not the same thing—respect is more important.

“I wish someone had told me that what feels right for you may not be what your family wants or what looks impressive on a résumé or sounds cool when someone inquires after your work at a cocktail party. But you’re the one who has to live within it, day after day, and your experience matters.

“That’s not to say the right job will always be fun or easy ― despite the old adage, I can attest that doing what you love will still feel like work. But it will also feel aligned with your values, your personality, your goals. If you’re contorting yourself into positions that feel unnatural and uncomfortable, it might be wise to seek out another opportunity. You ― yes, you, no matter how green or confused you may feel — know better than anyone.” ―Donofrio