The Easy Ratio That’ll Make A Perfectly Healthy Kids Lunch

Posted on 19/09/2021 by Boris Clair

Packing a nutritionally balanced lunch that your kids will actually eat can sometimes feel like a crapshoot – the second you think you have your lunch game on lock, that’s the day they’ll come home with the elaborate bento box you packed them still intact.

As parents, we feel responsible for our kids’ health and that understandably translates into a lot of stress over what they’re eating or not eating.

“Your job as a parent is to offer healthy, nutritious foods as often as possible, on a consistent schedule,” said Aubrey Phelps, a functional perinatal and paediatric nutritionist. “But it’s up to your child to decide what to do with them.”

The best way to grow a happy, healthy eater is to keep offering what you’d ideally want your child to eat – and don’t take it personally if they choose not to eat it. When it comes to school lunches, Phelps recommends keeping it simple: “Focusing on specific vitamins or minerals can miss the big picture,” she said.

If you use the following macronutrient formula to pack your kids’ lunch and vary the sources of each, you’re almost guaranteed to have a healthy, balanced meal that will keep them focused and energised at school.

The Formula

50% veggies and fruit

25% lean protein and healthy fats

25% starch or whole grains

+ fluids

The ideal school lunch formula is often referred to as the plate method – a visual representation of what a well-rounded meal looks like.

“Every child needs a healthy balance of macronutrients (protein, carbs, fat) and vitamins and minerals,” Nicole Avena, a New York-based health psychologist and author of What to Feed Your Baby and Toddler told HuffPost. “The plate method helps ensure that no one nutrient is overpowering the rest.”

If your child has a lunch that’s mostly carbs or whole grains and some protein, for instance, they’ll likely feel tired in the afternoon. Carbs not only make you sleepy due to their ability to increase tryptophan and serotonin levels in the body (both of which are sleep-inducing compounds), but they can quickly raise your blood sugar, and the subsequent drop can leave you feeling tired, Avena said. Even a larger portion of protein and smaller amount of carbs can make your child sleepy.

“Proteins and fats are often more difficult to digest than carbs and nutrients that come from fruits and vegetables,” Avena said. “This can potentially lead to fatigue, since your body needs to use up more energy during digestion.”

Making sure their lunchbox contains every element of this formula means your child will consume the balance of nutrients necessary to focus and enjoy their school day without feeling sluggish.

Let’s break down the formula.

Veggies And Fruit – 50%

Try: carrot sticks, bell pepper strips, grape tomatoes, cucumber, grapes, apple slices, watermelon, berries.

The biggest portion, or half of the lunchbox, should contain 2-3 different kinds of vegetables and fruit – preferably, two vegetables and one fruit, as children’s daily intake of vegetables tends to be lower than their fruit intake, according to a 2019 review published in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine.

This is actually an example of what NOT to do. Don't go heavier on fruits than vegetables, since most kids tend to eat more fruits anyway. — This is actually an example of what NOT to do. Don’t go heavier on fruits than vegetables, since most kids tend to eat more fruits anyway.

“Vegetables and fruit provide antioxidants to fight off disease, including vitamin A for skin and eye health, lutein for eye protection (from blue light) and vitamin C for immunity,” said Amy Shapiro, New York City-based registered dietitian and founder of Real Nutrition.

Produce is also rich in water to keep kids hydrated, and contains fiber for sustained energy and improved digestion.

Lean Protein And Healthy Fats – 25%

Try: chicken, turkey, tofu, edamame, hard-boiled eggs, Greek yogurt, string cheese, nuts, seeds.

“Protein is the nutrient that takes the longest to digest, so having it as part of your child’s lunch will keep them full and their blood sugar stable,” Shapiro said.

Depending on the type of protein provided, it may also contain amino acids for growth and muscle repair, zinc for immunity, and iron and vitamin B12 for energy.

On to healthy fats: “Fat helps to keep you full, provides energy and allows for the bioavailability and absorption of many of the vitamins we eat through other foods,” Shapiro said. “By including fat in your child’s meals, you’ll help them stay full longer and be more energized.”

Enough fat is often cooked into your food or a part of the meal already, so it doesn’t necessarily need to be a separate addition, Shapiro said. (Eggs and nut butters, for example, offer a one-two punch of protein and healthy fats.)

Starch Or Whole Grains – 25%

Try: whole grain bread, cereal, granola, brown rice, quinoa, crackers, air-popped popcorn.

“Carbohydrates are broken down into sugar in the body, providing energy for immediate use and reserves for later use,” Shapiro said. “Ideally, whole grains or whole wheat should be included, as they’re rich in nutrients, digest more slowly and are high in fiber to aid in balanced blood sugar and digestion.”

They also contain B vitamins, which are important for energy and metabolism.

But if your child isn’t the biggest fan of whole grains, don’t fret: “Vegetables and fruits also fit into the carbohydrate category, so you don’t always have to think about bread or grains if your child doesn’t like them,” Shapiro said.

Starchy vegetables and fruit include carrots, corn, potatoes, winter squash and bananas.

Fluids

Even just mild dehydration can cause a decline in cognitive function.

“Being dehydrated can affect reaction time, attention, memory and reasoning,” Avena said. “Children are potentially more at risk of dehydration because they’re more likely to be dependent on someone else for their fluid intake.”

Send your child to school with a large water bottle so they get enough fluids during the school day — and remind them to keep it at their desk.

“Out of sight equals out of mind,” Phelps said. “I also recommend a water bottle that’ll keep the water cold or room temp (however your child prefers) so they don’t get turned off by drinking warm water.”

It doesn’t have to be plain water, either: They might prefer fruit-infused, coconut or sparkling, or a different liquid entirely, like milk or 100% fruit or vegetable juice.

“If your kid really struggles to drink enough, consider sending hydrating foods,” Phelps said. “Soups, smoothies, juicy fruits like grapes and melon, bell peppers, even yogurt, are all hydrating options that can help keep kids on track.”

The easiest way to measure out lunchbox portions

Children are intuitive eaters – they’ll eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re full, with the amount of lunch they eat fluctuating day-to-day – so there’s really no such thing as perfect portions to pack.

The easiest way to ensure you’re in the ballpark? Use your child’s hands as your guide.

Think of your child’s hands as a plate – palms up, pinkies together. Half of their “plate” (or one hand) should be veggies and fruits. The palm of the other hand protein, and fingers complex carbs.

“Using this method, the amounts needed change as your child grows (and so will their needed portion sizes),” Phelps said.

She’s also a fan of the bento box-style lunch containers, which are already sectioned off into child-friendly portions. You can fill one section with vegetables and fruit, one with protein and healthy fats and one with starch or whole grains sans guesswork. These ratios don’t necessarily need to be tweaked if your child has specific dietary needs.

“Appropriate substitutions are needed to ensure they have a filling and nourishing meal, regardless of the nutrition modifications that are needed,” Maya Feller, a Brooklyn-based registered dietitian, told HuffPost. The overall rule of thumb, however, generally stays the same.

Ratios and formulas should only be used as a guideline, not a hard rule, because children themselves should dictate how much they need to eat.

“If parents find their child is consistently eating 100% of foods packed throughout the day, it could be a sign they’re going through critical stages of development and require more energy,” Feller said.

It’s also important to keep in mind this is one meal out of their entire day — so if a lunchbox comes home practically full, it’s not game over. “We want to look at nutrition over the course of the day, not one meal,” Shapiro said.

When in doubt, you can check in with your kids: Ask how lunch was and make food and portion modifications based on the feedback given.

Remember: nutrition is cumulative

View your child’s nutrition over the course of a week, not a day – or a meal. “They’ll get what they need over time,” Shapiro said. “Some days are great and some days are off and it all balances out.”

The most important thing a parent can do is create a good relationship with food. That’s more important than creating the perfect lunch.

“Kids tend to be more black and white thinkers, so I don’t recommend focusing on ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’ or ‘fun’ foods,” said Krystyn Parks, a California-based paediatric registered dietitian. “All food is food. All foods have a purpose.”

Perfection isn’t the goal – setting routines that work for you and your child are.

“Find your own routine, get your kids involved in the choices and don’t measure yourself against another person,” Feller said. “No one day – or meal – is going to be perfect in terms of nutrition.”

Yup, End-Of-Summer Tantrum Season Is Here, And It’s No Fun

Posted on 30/08/2021 by Boris Clair

For so many kids, summer really is bliss. There’s the initial joy of school being over that soon gives way to sunshine-filled days, later bedtimes, and generally loosened-up routines.

But as summer slips away, things tend to go south. Kids who just a month or two ago couldn’t believe how lucky they were to spend an afternoon at the beach turn into tired, entitled monsters, freaking out when you ask them to do anything, or yelling about seemingly little stuff.

And depending on when school starts where you live, you’re likely deep into end-of-summer-slash-start-of-school tantrum season, when kids seem to collectively lose their minds.

So why does it happen? And what can you do about it? Here’s what parents need to know about navigating this short (but intense!) stretch of time.

Spending time out of routines eventually catches up with kids.

Yes, kids love how unstructured and fun summer is. But being out of their routines for several months eventually catches up to them, especially if they’ve spent week after week soaking up lots of sun, staying up late and not necessarily eating all that well.

“We know that kids thrive when there is structure in their routines, and not having that is chaotic,” said Dr. Candice Jones, an American Academy of Pediatrics spokesperson and author of High Five Discipline: Positive Parenting for Happy, Healthy, Well-Behaved Kids.

Jones, who is a mum herself, certainly doesn’t think that kids and families have to stick to a strict schedule during the summer. But it can help to just remind yourself that your kid isn’t melting down because they’re trying to push your buttons; they’re melting down because the happy chaos of summer may finally be catching up to them.

Day-to-day, make sure you’re doing what you can to prevent tantrums by “managing their environment” and making sure your kids are getting enough food and that they’re relatively well-rested, Jones said. Sometimes on long, hot, end-of-summer days simply making sure a kiddo gets a nap and a few good snacks can do wonders for their overall behaviour.

Reminding kids of parts of school that they really like can help ease end-of-summer tantrums.

Remember: transitions are tough, especially this year.

As you navigate the summer/fall back-to-school tantrum season, it’s also helpful to remind yourself that transitions are difficult, especially when many kids are heading back to the classroom full time for the first time in 18 months.

“It’s hard for children and parents to go through,” Jones said.

If your child’s school hasn’t started yet, it can be helpful to reinstate some routines beforehand and practice what it’s like to all get out the door in the morning, she urged. Ideally, about two weeks or so before they head back, you’d start to institute a more regular bedtime and wake time, for example. Block off time for them to read, or for you to read together, so they get a bit of practice learning again if they’ve taken a bit of a break.

Then just try to be gentle and patient with yourself and with them, Jones urged.

Try this ‘active ignoring’ technique.

Tantrums may be developmentally appropriate for younger kids, but that doesn’t necessarily help you stay calm in the moment. So Jones is a big fan of taking a few moments to step away from a toddler who is melting down, provided it’s safe to do so.

“One of the strategies that works is the removal of your attention. Don’t argue with the child. Don’t beg and plead. Just kind of calm yourself down, and remove your attention, and once your child starts to settle … then you can acknowledge their feelings by saying something like, ‘What’s going on? What’s wrong?’” she said. (Some kids really benefit from someone holding them close while they’re in the middle of a tantrum, Jones added, and you can absolutely still give them that kind of close physical support while not giving into their demands.)

The Child Mind Institute calls this strategy “active ignoring,” and notes that it’s very important to give positive attention as soon as the behaviour you’re looking for starts.

Give older kids plenty of opportunities to talk about their feelings.

There’s ample evidence that children of all ages had a tough time emotionally over the past 18-plus months, so now more than ever it’s important for parents to give their children time and space to open up about what they’re experiencing as the summer winds down.

Also, don’t be surprised if older school-age children suddenly seem to be having meltdowns or regressing, which has been happening throughout the pandemic.

With kids who aren’t necessarily big sharers, it can help to back into the conversation a bit by asking how they think their friends are coping with this current moment of transition, for example, or by telling them a bit about how you’re feeling right now. (Here are some other creative ways real parents have found to get a sense of their children’s pandemic-related feelings, which may work for the end-of-summer/back-to-school stretch.)

Don’t forget to get them excited about school as well, Jones said. Let them help you with back-to-school shopping, she suggested. Remind them of friends they’ll see or activities they love that they’ll get to do again.

“Check in, see how they’re doing, and talk to them,” Jones said. “Let them know you’re there for them.”

Help, My Kid Is A ‘Whiteatarian’ Who Only Eats Beige Food

Posted on 22/08/2021 by Boris Clair

It was parents’ weekend at my daughter’s college, and we were treating her to dinner at an off-campus bistro. The waitress arrived, and she gave her order: “I’ll have the baked salmon with a side of sauteed spinach, please.”

I dropped my menu, my jaw and the mistaken notion that I knew what this kid had been up to since we’d dropped her off a couple of months ago. I had spent most of the past 18 years trying to nudge her – sometimes gently, sometimes with growing desperation º into eating something, anything, other than noodles with butter and salt, half a bagel with plain cream cheese or – her true love –Rold Gold Tiny Twist pretzels.

The idea of fish had always made her shudder. The mere mention of “green things” like spinach could lead to tears. So what was up with her dinner order tonight? She shrugged. “They serve salmon in the dining hall sometimes, and my friends all eat it. Everybody at school likes spinach, too.”

I feigned disinterest and changed the subject, but inside I was doing the parental equivalent of a victory dance. I had relinquished my title as mother of the world’s most adamant whiteatarian, all for the low, low cost of tuition at a liberal arts college that was 1,000 miles away from home.

Your kid is hardwired to act like this

Before I do any more gloating about the sight of my beloved progeny actually putting spinach in her mouth, let’s take a step back to those early years, when I was driven to frustration by a girl who refused anything that wasn’t white. What made her act that way, anyhow?

Well, mums and dads, you already know that children are annoying for lots of reasons, including a tendency toward tantrums, a love of pre-dawn wake-up times and, of course, picky eating. Would it help if I told you that their eating preferences are pretty much hard-wired into their sweet-smelling little noggins?

The National Institutes of Health says infants have an “innate preference for sweet and salty tastes and tend to reject sour and bitter tastes.”

And, guess what, it gets worse. “After the age of one, vegetables begin to taste very bitter to children,” Alisha Grogan, a paediatric occupational therapist who specialises in picky eating and sensory processing, tells HuffPost.

“When humans had to forage in the wild, children’s sensitive taste buds prevented them from eating anything poisonous.”

Some kids remain loyal passengers of the S.S. Sweet And Salty even as they get older, often to the exclusion of any food that might actually provide, you know, some nourishment. A range of different studies have reported that, by the time they reach age 3, between 6% and 50% of kids are described as picky eaters by their parents.

And if you think they’re doing this just to piss you off, you’re right, at least when it comes to the younger set. “Toddlerhood is when many kids start to exert their autonomy and push boundaries with parents,” paediatrician Dina Kulik tells HuffPost. Not only do they get to remind you who’s boss, they also literally make themselves happy with each bland, beige bite. “Simple sugars are easy to eat, they taste good and they provide a quick dopamine hit, much like other stimulating drugs,” she says.

Can your kid live on beige food alone?

Is a diet of pasta and bread sustainable for health? Kulik said there are concerns. “The risk of iron deficiency, especially, is high on a very starchy diet,” she says. Even though many manufactured grain-based products are supplemented, she said, kids following the whiteatarian plan are often low in iron, vitamin D, calcium and B12.

Think this bagel with cream cheese looks plain enough? Think again – those sesame seeds could even be too much for a picky eater.

In the short term, anyway, the nutritional prognosis is not totally dire. One study said that, while picky eaters did tend to have lower levels of zinc and iron, their overall macronutrient intakes were not severely reduced. And many of us know at least one adult who still lives on a mostly white diet and seems to survive, if not thrive.

“Many kids can survive on white carbs alone, as long as they’re eating enough of them,” Grogan says. “Carbs often are fortified with all sorts of vitamins and nutrition. However, depending on how limited a child’s diet is, they could have some nutritional deficiencies.”

The only thing you have to fear

In the comedy special John Mulaney & the Sack Lunch Bunch, a boy named Orson Hong sings an ode in which he declares that “a plain plate of noodles with a little bit of butter is the only thing I’ll eat.” His heartfelt song is more a lament than an homage, and it’s clear that his character is anxious and fearful about ingesting anything but this classic whiteatarian meal.

Fear is a big part of what’s going on, said Amanda Smith, a programme director at Walden Behavioral Care, and it’s important for both kids and parents to acknowledge that. “Some kids might be afraid of different textures, or they might fear that a food will make them choke or vomit,” she tells HuffPost. “It can be overwhelming, scary and hard, so it’s important for parents to try to understand that.”

“Short-order cooking and pressuring a child to eat during meals can lengthen the time a child is selective about what colour foods they’ll eat.”

– Alisha Grogan, paediatric occupational therapist

Keep in mind that once they’ve passed toddlerhood, this eating pattern is about them, not you. “If an older child is still eating only white foods, they aren’t trying to punish their parents or stress them out,” Grogan says. “Eating is hard for them. One way to help is to neutralise the topic, and to avoid labelling foods as good and bad or healthy and not healthy.”

Here’s what you can do

“I suggest not fighting or negotiating,” Kulik says. She suggested an attitude of: “Here’s the plate of food. If you want it, great.” Then, she advises, “If not, don’t start a battle. There is evidence kids need to try a food more than a dozen times to realise they like it. When you simply give in and offer the carbs, they don’t learn to try anything new, and the fear and pickiness persist.”

“Short-order cooking and pressuring a child to eat during meals can lengthen the time a child is selective about what colour foods they’ll eat,” Grogan adds.

In extreme cases, a child might have what’s known as Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder or ARFID. The disorder, Kulik explains, is characterised by “very selective eating habits or disturbed feeding patterns.”

She cites estimates that anywhere between 5% and 14% of children in inpatient eating disorder programs, and up to 22% of children in outpatient programs, have the disorder. “It’s important to note that this is a true mental disorder, and the vast majority of kids who are whiteatarians don’t have it,” she says.

Don't forget about tan foods, the close cousin to white foods. — Don’t forget about tan foods, the close cousin to white foods.

“If you have concerns, start with a visit to your child’s medical provider,” Smith suggests. “They’ll be able to assess any medical factors that could be playing a role, and they can check your child’s growth progress, weight and vital signs, and then run some lab work.”

You’ll also want to pay attention to patterns that develop at mealtimes. “If kids are having emotional tantrums or breakdowns over new foods being near them or on their plate, or if they’re gagging or throwing up when new or other-colored foods are near them, then it could be something more serious,” Grogan says.

“If your child is limiting intake to fewer than 20 foods, or you’re noticing physical symptoms relating to their diet, consulting with a health practitioner is advised,” says Sarah Appleford, a registered clinical nutritionist with an interest in children’s health, including fussy eating and gut issues.

“It’s more than just a phase if they’re refusing food at most meals, exhibiting anxiety or stress, have undeveloped eating skills or sensitivities based on texture, colour, appearance, noise or smell at the table and away from the table. Physical symptoms can include slow growth, fatigue, pallor of the skin or complaints of tummy pain or gastrointestinal upset such as constipation.”

Look to the rainbow

Along with every other awful thing, this issue is on the rise, according to the experts. “We’re seeing a growing number of kids with anxiety disorders, and extreme fussy eating behaviour is often a component,” Appleford says. But there is some good news, she adds: “Most children will naturally grow out of fussy eating as they gain more skills and confidence around food.”

“Parents can find it to be very stressful to have a child who only eats white foods, because it’s difficult to go to parties or even pack a lunch,” Grogan says. “But kids — even the pickiest — can learn to eat a variety of different coloured foods.”

In the meantime, listen to the experts and try to cut yourself (and your child) a little bit of slack. You might also want to start saving for that liberal arts college experience that will liberate their taste buds and turn them into rainbowtarians, just a few long years from now.

Funny Tweets About The Things Kids Collect

Posted on 13/08/2021 by Boris Clair

From Legos to seashells to dead leaves on the ground, there’s no limit to the kinds of things kids will collect.

Consequently, there’s no shortage of parents venting about their children’s collecting habits on Twitter. If your child won’t stop picking up rocks and bringing them home, you’re not alone.

We’ve rounded up 22 funny tweets about the things kids collect. Enjoy!

How Do We Reduce The Screen Time Our Kids Are Used To Now?

Posted on 11/08/2021 by Boris Clair

My two sons always got some screen time daily, but my husband and I tried to set relatively clear limits about what they could play and watch, and for how long. Then the Covid-19 pandemic hit, and like so many other parents and caregivers, we leaned into screens hard. Our 6-year-old got an iPad. Our toddler grew accustomed to multihour Blippi marathons while my husband and I worked. My children have become legitimate screen monsters.

Various surveys suggest that my experience isn’t an anomaly and that kids’ screen time during the pandemic has soared. In the US, kids now spend more than four hours a day on screens, and screen time has basically doubled over the past 18 months. One psychologist recently warned the New York Times that America’s kids are headed for a “period of epic withdrawal”.

I haven’t fretted too much about any of this yet, because I do believe my sons’ screen use was a matter of necessity. Screens babysat my kids when we were locked down together in our tiny apartment and didn’t have outside childcare. They gave me a much-needed break when my stress levels were so high I felt like I was practically vibrating.

But things feel different now. For one, I am hopeful that – for the first time in more than a year – both of my children will soon actually be in school full-time.

I don’t really want the amount of screen time my kids have got accustomed to to be what they expect moving forward. I also feel more pressure about how long this has been going on – and with the delta variant circulating and rates increasing again around the country, I’m aware that the pandemic is likely to continue for a while. In other words, the “survival use” of screen time is over – and I don’t want my kids to expect it in the same way every day.

Are you also thinking about dialling back your children’s screen time? Here are some strategies and ideas to have in mind.

Consider the content and the costs

Every family develops their own screen time rules. Even groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics and American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry tend to be pretty vague with their recommendations for kids over the age of six. They urge parents to “encourage healthy habits” and “limit activities that include screens” – whatever that means.

What experts generally recommend is that you be deliberate about setting those limits, rather than winging it. And when devising your own family boundaries and rules, consider what kids are watching and playing, knowing they can absorb content from TV, movies and video games.

In her new book The Family Firm: A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years, economist and parenting guru Emily Oster recommends that parents also think about what she calls the “opportunity cost” of spending time in front of screens. Basically, there are only so many hours during the day. So if your child is spending time watching TV, they’re not using that time to play or learn or engage in an extracurricular activity of some kind. You might be totally OK with that, and Oster notes that kids really need a break sometimes. But it’s something to consider.

In my house over the past 18 months, my kids were watching screens so they weren’t interrupting me during a meeting or driving me mad while I tried to get something done. Now that things have opened up more, though, their screen time is definitely replacing potentially more valuable pursuits, like hanging out with friends or reading.

Know that your child probably won’t be thrilled if you change your screen-related rules now that the opportunity costs are potentially more significant.

“As we come out of this, there are definitely going to be some moments where we are going to have make rules that take away privileges, and as our kids age that isn’t as common,” Oster told HuffPost. “They will be angry. And that’s just kind of what it is.”

Emphasise play

If you’re trying to cut down on screen time, it can really help to emphasise play in order to “balance out the equation,” according to experts with the Center on Media and Child Health at Boston Children’s Hospital.

“Carve out time specifically dedicated to play,” experts there say. “Plan activities that incorporate different types of play, including board games, balls, blocks and role play.”

Setting aside specific time for play can help decrease how much time your kids spend looking at screens.

You may not have had the time or energy for playing with your child – or helping them get started with play – when we were really thick in the lockdown period of the pandemic and truly in survival mode, but perhaps you have some more energy for that now. (Personally, there was a point about six months into the pandemic where I could not handle more imaginary play with my kids and placed a moratorium on hide-and-seek; now I’m starting to embrace it again, and have also really learned that I’m in my sweet spot when it comes to reading and drawing together.)

The good news is, kids seem to be getting more play in their days pretty organically right now. There is evidence that kids’ boredom is down at this point in the pandemic, while their overall feelings of happiness and enjoyment are steadily increasing, too.

Really help them with transitions

As Oster warned, kids are going to react to being told they cannot be on screens as much as they may have been over the past year-plus. You should expect that and be prepared to hold your boundary – but it’s also helpful to really work with your child through transitions from screen time to something else.

“Help your child transition from screen time to active play time. For instance, if your child is watching a cartoon, turn off the TV and encourage your child to build on the storyline themselves with toys,” the experts with CMCH say.

Previews and countdowns are other valuable tools, the Child Mind Institute’s website points out. Children can learn to switch gears from screen time to something else without too much anger or whining, but they might need you to give them a specific time frame (like: “In 10 minutes, we’re going to turn the TV off and then do XYZ”).

And being consistent about your new routines is key. “Having a predictable structure in place can be reassuring and helpful even for older kids (and adults!),” the Child Mind Institute says.

8 Lasting Changes We Might See In Children After This ‘Lost’ Year

Posted on 03/08/2021 by Boris Clair

The Covid-19 pandemic changed all of our lives, but for developing children, its impact may have more long-term effects.

“Every child’s experience of the pandemic is different based on their temperament and their home life,” Jacqueline P Wight, director of mental health services at DotCom Therapy, told HuffPost. “Many children have experienced mental health challenges, and we anticipate that for some of these children, there will be lasting effects. For others, the challenges were more situational and will subside as life returns to normal.”

There’s no easy way to know which camp your child may fall into, but parents can take note as the situation evolves.

“Children are starting to experience the ripple effects from the collective trauma of the pandemic, and the long-term implications of this ‘lost’ pandemic year may not be fully understood for years to come,” said licensed clinical social worker Nidhi Tewari.

“The good news is that children – and humans in general – are resilient beings, and we will begin to recalibrate as the threat of Covid-19 dissipates in the coming months and years,” she added. “If we take steps to attend to our mental health and well-being now, then we can mitigate some of the long-term impact of this pandemic.”

Ultimately, awareness is key. Below, Wight, Tewari and other experts share some potential long-term changes for parents to keep in mind as they guide their children through the coming months and years.

Understanding of loss

With the current Covid-19 death toll at more than 4 million worldwide, countless children have been exposed to loss and grief during the pandemic. For many, this may have been their first experience with death.

“For the thousands who lost parents, grandparents and other loved ones, the loss is immeasurable, and grief and bereavement can take many forms,” said Dr. Ilisse Perlmutter, director of child and adolescent psychiatry at Talkiatry.

Even those who haven’t lost a loved one may have felt grief over lost experiences or opportunities. Parents should be prepared to help their children cope with grief and understand that it’s all part of the human experience.

“While it is easier said than done, it is best not to overthink the possible losses that children have experienced during the pandemic,” said Wight. “They have lived through a profoundly unique and powerful experience. They have gained skills as well as understanding during this time.”

Vulnerability to mental health issues

“Through the pandemic, there were significant increases in children and adolescents reporting anxiety and depressive symptoms, and this will likely continue trending upwards,” Tewari said.

The data doesn’t look great. A report from Save the Children found that the Covid-19 pandemic has had a “devastating” impact on families’ and children’s emotional health in the US.

“We will see on the negative side increased vulnerability to anxiety-based disorders such as eating disorders and pressure on children and adolescent mental health services,” said psychotherapist Noel McDermott. “Investment in mental well-being needs to increase and the whole needs of our kids considered.”

While many parents are anxious about their children catching up academically, McDermott believes kids have gained the perspective to recognise the other important issues in life – which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“We have a lot of choice about how to frame this for ourselves and for our kids,” he said. “Whilst we have seen an increase in anxiety disorders and depressive disorders during this time in kids, if we respond well to this with effective support, positive skills can be learned by kids about how to manage challenge and there can be improved resilience going forwards.”

Social anxiety

“Many children may continue to struggle with social anxiety due to the isolation of the past 1.5 years, so gradual exposure to social situations and redeveloping social skills will be essential in helping them in [reacclimatising],” Tewari said.

Dr Dyan Hes, founder of Gramercy Pediatrics, said she’s concerned about childhood development, particularly with the littlest of little ones, as the most rapid brain growth occurs from birth until the age of three. Missing out on interactions with others may have fostered a sense of social isolation that will need to be overcome.

“These children have not seen many facial expressions behind masks, they have not learned to navigate the social skills needed to play with other toddlers or even the motor skills to run on a playground,” she explained. “As a paediatrician, I wholeheartedly encourage families to send their children to school, camp or day care. The benefits far outweigh the risks, unless their child has a medical condition that would make Covid life threatening. … We need our children to reemerge into society and we need all adults to be vaccinated for this to happen.”

“We do know that kids from already stressed and underresourced communities were more adversely affected during the pandemic.”

– Dr Helen Egger, child psychiatrist and co-founder of Little Otter

Health anxiety

All of the mania around sanitising and disinfecting may also have a long-term impact on some children.

“There could be increases in illness anxiety disorder due to fears of catching the virus and having to maintain the strict hygiene protocols that have been necessary through the pandemic,” Tewari said.

“Most people’s nervous systems are dysregulated due to the pandemic’s threat to our safety and health, so it will take time for our brains and bodies to recover after the pandemic ends,” she added. “As a result, we may feel disoriented, and have a hard time believing that life can ever be ‘normal’ again.”

Anxiety around illness may also mean some children feel a fear or discomfort around going outside.

“I have noticed many kids who have never climbed up the playground ladder, learned how to ride a scooter or a bike,” Hes said. “These kids have been kept indoors for fear of Covid because they are too young to be vaccinated. I try to encourage parents to take kids out to get fresh air, run and play.”

Widening inequality

Although we can’t yet fully know the extent of the pandemic’s lasting impact on children’s academic performance or development, there are certain trends that are already very clear.

“We do know that kids from already stressed and underresourced communities were more adversely affected during the pandemic,” said Dr. Helen Egger, a child psychiatrist and co-founder of Little Otter. “Widening inequality for children may be one of the worst impacts of the pandemic.”

From economic challenges to mental health struggles, many existing gaps between populations have worsened during the pandemic, and children are bearing much of the brunt.

“Children who were struggling before the pandemic may lag further behind,” Perlmutter said. “Youngsters who are homeless, have disabilities, subjected to racial violence are especially at risk.”

Making positive memories

The impact of the pandemic isn’t entirely terrible. Wight pointed out a silver lining of living through such “unprecedented times” unlike anything kids have experienced before.

“It’s important not to overlook that children will also have special or positive memories related back to the pandemic,” Wight said. “They might remember having more quality family time, a slower pace of life, FaceTiming with family members across the country and new hobbies they developed while at home.”

McDermott highlighted other positive aspects – like spending more time with family and the refreshing old routines.

“The ‘interruption’ to the treadmill of school, university and jobs can also be viewed positively as it has allowed time to focus on important relationships in our lives,” he said.

Connection to others

Although the pandemic brought social isolation, it also fostered a sense of global community. There’s also a universality to the experience, which creates common ground for children growing up with the trauma of Covid-19.

“As a global event, there is a shared experience for all the world’s children,” McDermott said. “As has been shown around issues such as climate change, kids are truly amazing at seeing their connections and joining together. Is this the global generation? Some of us hope so.”

He also emphasised the power of the internet in allowing children to connect to each other even amid their isolation.

“The hegemony of online experience has moved forward and we will see this generation more connected to that and connected to global voices and experiences,” McDermott said.

Resilience

“Despite the horror of this devastating year, understanding that in the face of trauma and this public health disaster we have the capacity for resilience has been comforting and grounding,” Perlmutter said. “Marking life events and celebrations in the usual ways was disappointing but not out of the question. Watching the grace and enthusiasm of high school seniors’ graduation ceremonies in living rooms, drive-by birthday celebrations, Zoom visits with grandparents, and bar and bat mitzvahs and confirmations on Zoom was humbling. It gives me hope.”

Throughout the pandemic, children have learned to cope with many unforeseen changes and challenges. While the experience wasn’t always positive, it fostered major growth and resilience.

Wight encouraged parents to keep this bright side in mind as we continue to work through the evolving situation.

“It is critical for parents to manage their own distress and worries, as it directly impacts their children’s well-being,” she said. “It is most helpful to focus on the resilience of children and to give them many opportunities to return to play and the work of being children.”

How Do You Talk To Kids About Trauma? This Mum Needed To Know

Posted on 01/08/2021 by Boris Clair

In 1994, one of Rwanda’s darkest moments in history took place – a genocide that saw the death of 1,100,000 people – of which 800,000 people were Tutsi, an ethnic group that were minorities in comparison to the majority Hutus.

At the time, Alice Musabende was 13-years-old. Her parent, grandparents, and siblings all died during the war. The now mum-of-two had only a few surviving members of her family; her aunt, uncle, and their kids. In 2005, as part of her studies, Musabende left Rwanda for Canada, building a life for herself; she married (but has since separated), and had two precious boys.

She began working as a journalist and academic, later moving to the UK to work at the University of Cambridge. But despite her writing and hours of research into what happened, Musabende found it almost impossible to articulate the reality of the violence which was unleashed on her people.

“I have spent so many hours, countless of times, writing and reading and trying really to capture the magnitude of the horror. And I still haven’t,” she tells HuffPost UK.

Now, her two children, aged five and eight, have questions about their grandparents, their home in Rwanda, and how their mother feels about it all.

So, in an attempt not to “run away from her demons”, Musabende had to find a way to voice the unspeakable horror she endured at such a young age. Which is how she began making a radio show with the BBC to start the story.

In Unspeakable, Musabende asks for help and guidance from other genocide survivors, second-generation holocaust survivors, a therapist who works with AIDS orphans in South Africa, and a publisher of stories in Rwanda.

She explores identity, generational trauma, and the place of storytelling and with the help of these other voices, she tries to piece together the answer to one fundamental question: how do I tell my kids about my trauma?

Mum-of-two Alice Musabende is figuring out the words to explain what happened in Rwanda 27 years ago

Firstly, says Musabende, she has had to come to terms with her own past.

“For the last 20 years, I’ve focused so much on me,” she explains. “I’ve done therapy, I tried to figure out how to live with PTSD, to understand how I will actually live a life without family, without anyone. I thought I was really getting a good handle on it. Then I moved here and in the middle of trying to reconfigure being a single parent and my work, I remember just one day thinking, ‘Oh no, I’m going to have to tell the boys about the genocide.’

“That bit was way more complicated than anything else I have done, mainly because the story of the genocide, for me, is extremely painful, but I think it’s painful for all the other survivors as well. Because I’ve spent so many years trying to run away from it, it was so hard.”

Growing up, Musabende was aware of the ethnic persecution of her Tutsi people – her family members had been arrested on suspicion of being part of rebel forces, and her granddad’s land had been seized.

After travelling to Ottawa for her graduate studies, Musabende recognised signs of PTSD in herself. She explains: “In school I couldn’t really function. I had a really difficult transition, I did so many things that we now associate with post traumatic stress disorder but at the time no one told me what it was.

“It wasn’t until I started different forms of therapy to make sense of what I was going through. Through those sessions, I wanted to find the essence of who I was, I wanted to be okay. I wanted to have joy, and I wanted to be able to use my brain to serve, to study and perhaps maybe even teach.”

In 2017, Musabende went back to Rwanda for the first time. Two years later, she took her two sons to show them where their family came from – so they could understand the great beauty, as much as the trauma, of her birthplace.

“I remember arriving in Rwanda and looking at these tiny humans and thinking, ‘This is their home, but I don’t know if they know that this is their home as well.’ That’s when things just started percolating in my head, I was like: ‘How do I do this, what do I say?’ She took her eldest boy, six at the time, to where her house used to be – now just a plot of land since it was destroyed in the genocide.

“I told him that’s where my home used to be and that’s where my brother and sister used to live. We were walking on this plot, he looked down, saw a piece of cloth, picked it up and said, ‘Do you think this was your sister’s dress?’ And I hadn’t seen that one coming. It was a bit of a struggle but I couldn’t cry.

“My words just left me. That’s when I realised he has questions. He has real questions where he’s trying to figure out where he fits into a story that’s so obscure and mysterious to him.”

Alice has since taken her children to Rwanda to show them the country

And Musabende had questions of her own, which is how the documentary came about. “I couldn’t write about it,” she says. “I don’t know how to write about it, so I thought to just ask people what they think.”

She was terrified. “I thought, ‘Oh, am I traumatising my children by telling them these horrible things?’ Previously I’d thought it’s best not to say anything as you don’t upset them. But I know that they want to know. They’re not asking tough questions. Their questions are like ‘Do you miss your mum?’ or ’Do you think your mum would have loved me?’Those things are so difficult because they send you right back to that place where you wish you didn’t have to go.

Unspeakable is Musabende’s attempt to bridge the gap between that place she has avoided for the past 27 years “and the place I am in now, as a parent hoping to raise healthy, well-grounded, empathetic children.”

Alice's radio show Unspeakable comes out today — Alice’s radio show Unspeakable comes out today

It’s not just genocide she has to talk to her children about. By virtue of being a mother to two young Black boys, Musabende knows that she will become accustomed to difficult conversations.

“Raising Black boys in a western culture that’s always telling them so many things about them that are false, it’s an even bigger responsibility to tell them about where they come from, what happened to them and tell them exactly who they are, so that when they get out there, they know in their hearts that they’re valued, that they are loved, that they are cared for.

“It is my job to tell my kids who they are. I haven’t quite figured out how to tell them the full story of my history so you’ll see in the documentary, I’m still learning, it’s a long journey.”

Unspeakable airs on BBC Radio 4 on Fridays and is available on BBC Sounds.

Approaching conversations about trauma

Alice Musabende wants to share the following advice for fellow parents.

First of all, accept you don’t know how to say it all

“That realisation that I don’t know how to talk to my children was the beginning of my quest because for a very long time, I just pretended that it wasn’t there. Once I sat down and I thought, ‘I know I have to, and I don’t know how,’ that was the beginning.”

Find a safe space to make sense of the trauma yourself

“I wouldn’t have been able to have this conversation five years ago. I had to do so much of my own work in self-healing, therapy, in figuring out how to listen. It took me so much time to get here.”

Seek guidance, talk to others who might understand

“You’ll be surprised about how many people are struggling to address these serious issues with their children. There are parents everywhere trying to figure out how to say things.”

Know that the conversation is hard but important

“You can’t just focus on the fact that you are transmitting trauma. You also have to know that by processing things, by seeking to figure out what the appropriate language is, you’re also ensuring that your kids will be more resilient, because you are being more resilient.”

Celebrate yourself for all that you’ve overcome

“We often forget to celebrate our resilience but ultimately, we should really look at ourselves and think, ‘We are here. We made it. We have children and they seem somewhat okay.’ That’s a win for me.”

Useful websites and helplines

Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.

Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).

CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.

The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk

Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.

Prince George’s Birthday Photo Pays Sweet Tribute To Duke Of Edinburgh

Posted on 21/07/2021 by Boris Clair

Prince George’s eight birthday has been marked with a new photograph that pays touching tribute to his great-grandfather, the late Duke of Edinburgh.

In the image, taken by his mother, the Duchess of Cambridge, George sits on the bonnet of a Land Rover Defender, Prince Philip’s favourite make of car.

The Duke of Edinburgh, who died in April a few months short of his 100th birthday, regularly drove Land Rovers and during his funeral, his coffin was carried by a specially adapted defender, which he helped design himself.

A keen photographer, the Duchess of Cambridge often releases images she has taken of George, his sister Charlotte and brother Louis to mark birthdays and major landmarks of both the Cambridge and Royal families.

Prince George was born on July 22, 2013, in the private Lindo Wing of St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington and, at that time of his birth, was the Queen’s third great-grandchild. She now has 11, after latest arrival in June of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s second child, Lilibet “Lili” Diana Mountbatten-Windsor, who was named by her great-grandmother’s childhood nickname.

George, who is third in line to the throne after his grandfather, the Prince of Wales, and his father, Prince William, made his debut in front of the world’s media on the hospital steps a day after his birth, wrapped in a white merino wool shawl and cradled in his parents’ arms.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge leave the Lindo Wing of St Mary's Hospital with their newborn son, Prince George of Cambridge in 2013. — The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge leave the Lindo Wing of St Mary’s Hospital with their newborn son, Prince George of Cambridge in 2013.

He has since been photographed on his first day of school, at various royal weddings and big occasions, and ahead each of his birthdays.

Kate’s latest pictures of Prince George was taken earlier this month in Norfolk, where the Cambridges have a family home, Anmer Hall, which is close to the Queen’s Sandringham residence.

George, who celebrates his birthday on Thursday, is dressed in a striped polo- top and shorts, and is sporting a big smile for his mother behind the lens.

Despite this, Kate has previously revealed that her children sometimes beg her to put her camera down. Speaking at an event for her Hold Still photography contest in June, the duchess said about George, Charlotte and Louis: “Everyone’s like, ‘Mummy, please stop taking photographs’.”

Will My Child Get The Covid Vaccine? A Guide For Parents

Posted on 19/07/2021 by Boris Clair

The vaccine programme has been rolled out to more children across the UK, but it’s not open to all under 18s just yet.

Health secretary Sajid Javid said that he has asked the NHS to prepare to vaccinate the newly eligible groups “as soon as possible”. Here’s what you need to know as a parent or guardian.

Can my child get the vaccine?

Under previous advice, teens aged 16 to 17 with underlying health conditions which put them at higher risk of serious Covid should have already been offered a jab. The latest announcement extends the vaccine rollout to more vulnerable children.

Vulnerable children between the ages of 12 and 15 will now be offered a Covid vaccine. Those who’ll be offered a jab include children with severe neurodisabilities, Down’s syndrome, immunosuppression and multiple or severe learning disabilities.

The vaccine will also be offered to 17-year-olds who are within three months of their 18th birthday.

The Joint Committee on Vaccination and Immunisation (JCVI) has also recommended that children and young people aged 12 to 17 who live with an immunosuppressed person be offered the vaccine, to indirectly protect their immunosuppressed household contacts.

What vaccine will vulnerable children get?

The medicines regulator, the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA), has already approved the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine for use among children aged 12 and over in the UK, so it is likely this is the vaccine they will receive.

Why is there caution about the vaccine for kids?

The government has said it will continue to review whether or not to offer the vaccine to all under 18s.

The caution is due to a lack of available trial data, says Helen Bedford, Professor of Children’s Health at UCL. There’s also a careful balancing act between the benefits of the vaccine vs any potential negative impacts on kids.

“Healthy young people and children become seriously ill with COVID-19 extremely rarely, so there would be few direct benefits for them of vaccination but it would contribute to increasing population immunity,” she explains. “Before recommending vaccination for all children and young people we therefore need to be very clear about of the safety of the vaccines in this group.

“Although there is now good trial data and experience of vaccinating very large numbers of adults and the vaccines have been shown to be safe, we cannot automatically assume this applies to children. More information is needed from trials and experience of using these vaccines in young people and children before the programme is rolled out further.”

What are other countries doing?

Nearly half of European countries have decided to offer the vaccine to children aged 12 and over, including France, Spain, Italy and Austria. Some vaccination programmes have started, while others are imminent, with plans to vaccinate children before the new school term in September widespread.

What about long Covid?

While children are less likely to suffer severe illness from coronavirus, they aren’t untouchable. Hundreds of children in the UK are struggling with long Covid months after becoming sick.

In rare instances, some children have developed a multi-system inflammatory syndrome linked to Covid-19 which can lead to organ damage. Scientists will consider this when continuing to weigh up the pros and cons of vaccines.

The 10 Funniest Kids’ Jokes Of 2021, According To The Beano

Posted on 15/07/2021 by Boris Clair

A Dundee primary school class has been crowned the UK’s funniest with a topical joke about face masks.

Class 5B from Forthill Primary School entered the Beano’s annual competition to find Britain’s Funniest Class, and came out on top with their timely submission joke winning 21.7% of the public vote.

And the gag goes as follows.

“What did the face mask say to the mouth?” “Let me cover for you!”

The joke was one of 10 shortlisted by a panel at the DC Thomson comic before the public decided which they found funniest. Beano’s Mike Stirling presented the class at Forthill with the official trophy, alongside a bundle of goodies including Beano subscriptions for all the children.

“We’ve learned our greatest gags have always come from kids themselves and Britain’s Funniest Class has schooled us yet again, raising some much-needed chuckles in classrooms,” he said.

Beano’s favourite kids jokes of 2021

1. Forthill Primary School: “What did the face mask say to the mouth? Let me cover for you!”

2. Greystones Primary School: “What did the teacher say to the comic lover as a punishment? There will Beano comics for you.”

3. St John the Baptist Primary School: “Where’s the best place to take a dog for a walk? Leeds.”

4. Upton Meadows Primary: “Knock knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time to read Beano.”

5. Bradford Christian School: “What did Minnie change her name to when Rubi’s ‘Growth Ray’ experiment went wrong? Minnie the Shrinks!”

6. Hampton Hill Junior School: “Why did the mobile phone go for an eye test? Because it lost its contacts!”

7. Howardian Primary School: “What did the pen say to the rock? Nothing, because pens can’t talk.”

8. Uffculme Primary School: “What does a scary panda say? Bam boooooooo!”

9. Finton House School: “What is the coldest Christmas food? Pigs in blankets.”

10. Porthcawl Primary School: “Why didn’t the robber steal Bea’s sweets? Because no one would stoop that low!”