Justine Bateman Dismisses Plastic Surgery: ‘My Face Represents Who I Am’

Posted on 28/03/2023 by Boris Clair

Justine Bateman accepts her changing physical features ― even if the internet won’t.

The former “Family Ties” star opened up about aging in the public eye in an interview with “60 Minutes Australia” that aired last week.

“I needed to Google something to do a little research and remind myself of something that happened when I was famous,” she said. “So, I put in my name, Googled my name ― Justine Bateman ― and then the autocomplete came up, which was ‘looks old.’” Bateman, 57, estimated she was 40 or 42 at the time.

Actor and author Justine Bateman visits AOL's Build Series to discuss her book 'Fame: The Highjacking of Reality' on Oct. 10, 2018, in New York City. — Actor and author Justine Bateman visits AOL’s Build Series to discuss her book ‘Fame: The Highjacking of Reality’ on Oct. 10, 2018, in New York City.

“I was like, ‘What?’ And I looked at the pictures that they had as evidence, and I couldn’t see what they were talking about,” she said. “I just don’t give a shit” about what people think, she added.

“I think I look rad,” Bateman continued. “I think my face represents who I am. I like it.”

The actor, who wrote a book about beauty two years ago, also said in the interview that she feels “sad” for women who use fillers and Botox to hide the effects of aging, as they’re “not enjoying life.”

“I feel sad they are distracted from the things that they’re meant to do in life, with this consuming idea that they’ve gotta fix their face before anything else can happen,” Bateman said.

“I’m saying, forget about your face! That is what I’m saying,” she added. “Get rid of the fear that is making you think that the fact that your face is wrinkled is going to X-out a bunch of opportunities for you.”

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Bateman joins a small but mighty number of prominent women ― including supermodel Paulina Porizkova, who was also featured in the “60 Minutes Australia” interview ― who shun cosmetic procedures.

Oscar winner Jamie Lee Curtis shared her thoughts on Botox during an interview with “Today” last year in which she said she was dissatisfied with the cosmetic injection.

“I did plastic surgery. I put Botox in my head,” the “Everything Everywhere All At Once” star said. “Does Botox make the big wrinkle go away? Yes. But then you look like a plastic figurine.”

Now, Curtis said, she tells her daughters: “Don’t mess with your face.”

It’s Not Just You: Making Friends After 60 Is Really Hard

Posted on 24/03/2023 by Boris Clair

Having quality relationships is the top predictor of happiness and overall health, according to an 85-year longitudinal study from Harvard University. But as you get older, maintaining these connections and making new ones can be challenging.

Earlier this month, journalist Josie Duffy Rice asked her Twitter followers about ways that people over 60 can make friends or build community, after a pal of hers expressed that their parent was feeling “very isolated.”

what are the best ways for people 60+ to make new friends/community? anyone have advice on this? a friend’s parent feels very isolated and it’s weighing on both of them hard. parent’s beloved animal just died, too. will take any ideas.

— josie duffy rice (@jduffyrice) March 15, 2023

Her question reflects the struggles with loneliness that people face throughout their lives, but particularly as they age. One study found that 43% of Americans over 60 reported feeling lonely. Research has shown that loneliness and social isolation are linked with an increased risk of negative health outcomes like dementia, heart disease, stroke, depression and even premature death.

Loneliness is a state of mind in which you feel alone. Social isolation means you have few social contacts or people to interact with regularly. “Social isolation can lead to loneliness in some people, while others can feel lonely without being socially isolated,” according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

After age 60, certain life changes may explain why a person can feel alone or have a hard time making new connections. Maybe they’re an empty nester, divorced or widowed, or they’ve recently moved to a new place.

Maybe they’re retired, nearing retirement or watching their longtime work friends retire. “The loss of work relationships can be an important contributor to loneliness,” Los Angeles psychologist David Narang told HuffPost.

“You may also be developing chronic health issues such as heart problems or back pain. And unfortunately, feeling physically vulnerable can injure your social confidence as well,” said Narang, the author of “Leaving Loneliness.”

“You might feel, for example, that if you are unable to do everything — like long hikes, traveling the world, working long days — that you once could, that you are no longer as valuable to others.”

And for some, the time, effort and initial discomfort that come with trying a new activity or getting to know someone may seem like too big of a hurdle.

“I’ve hit my 60s, and my social circle is the size of a Cheerio.”

– Craig Tomashoff, a 63-year-old writer and producer.

Ten years ago, Anne R. — a divorced mother of two grown kids — retired from her career as a surgeon. She went from talking to 50 or 100 people a day at the office to not speaking with anyone on some days, she said.

After she retired, her work friends stopped reaching out to her.

“If I had to talk to them for one reason or another, they go, ‘Oh, let’s go for lunch.’ I was like: ‘OK, you let me know. You’re working, I’m retired. I’ll come whenever you can come.’ Never heard from them,” said the 67-year-old, whose last name has been withheld to protect her privacy.

“It was a complete shock,” she said. “These are people that I would have considered friends, people that I talked to multiple times a week.”

Anne still stays in touch with a few dear friends she’s known for decades. “I don’t necessarily talk to them every day,” she said. “But I know if I pick up the phone and they hear I’m not right, they’re right there.”

She has also met some people through her local gym and training classes for her dogs. In recent years, though, these new acquaintances haven’t turned into genuine, lasting connections.

“There are a whole lot of people that I’ve met through my dogs, but I have not really found the energy or desire to meet them outside of the dogs as a friend,” she said.

These days, she said she’s “much more selective” and “much more cautious” with her friendships.

“I’m finding people are getting very egocentric. And so they might say, ‘Oh, I’m having surgery.’ You say, ’Oh, OK, I’ll drive you.’ Then you say to them, ‘I’m having surgery, will you drive me?’ They’re like, ‘Oh, I’ve got to do this, I’ve got to do that,’” Anne said.

“So if I’m going to give of myself what I consider the energy that you should give in a friendship, I need to know there’s going to be some reciprocity.”

Making new friends requires more effort in your 60s than in your early adulthood.

Craig Tomashoff, a divorced 63-year-old father, writer and producer, said he’s noticed that after 60, making new friends “is something that requires effort in a way making friends in your 20s doesn’t.”

“When you’re young, you have co-workers and roommates around all the time. You go out in groups where you meet other people. You find a mate, and his or her friends become yours,” Tomashoff told HuffPost.

“At my age now — with the only thing shrinking more than the working days I have left are the ages of my co-workers — there’s no natural way to just meet people who you want to share time with. It’s all about signing up for classes or, as I recently had to do, using apps not to date but to just make acquaintances.”

Tomashoff realized that he had spent so much of his adult life focused on his kids and working hard to save for retirement that he left little time for socializing and making friends.

Between your 20s and 50s, you’re constantly “reminded that you need to save money for your golden years. Everything is geared toward putting every dollar you can into savings so you’ll live a comfortable life when you hit your 60s,” he said.

“The one thing you never hear about, though, is doing the same for your social life. Seldom do you read articles or watch commercials telling you to bank as many friends as you can for the lonely years ahead.”

He called this the “biggest mistake” of his life.

“I’ve hit my 60s, and my social circle is the size of a Cheerio,” Tomashoff said. “I do wish I projected ahead not so much to how I’ll pay my mortgage, [but] more to how I’ll spend those days once the mortgage gets paid.”

So How Can You Make Friends In Your 60s And Beyond?

To find your people as an older adult, tap into your interests. That might mean signing up for an art class, getting a part-time job, looking for a book club at the local library, trying a new activity like pickleball, or joining a religious, political or volunteer group for a cause that’s close to your heart.

No matter what you choose, expect some initial awkwardness as you get to know people in this new community. Tolerating that temporary discomfort is a “required part of the process,” Narang said.

“In young adulthood, we expect everything to feel new and are less bothered if the experience of joining a new group is initially uncomfortable,” he said. “We can keep that openness to new experiences throughout our lives by expecting new experiences to feel awkward for a time, and allowing for that temporary discomfort required to rebuild social community.”

Because society isn’t “organized around having gathering places that everyone visits on a regular basis,” Narang said, know that you do have to be intentional about seeking out these social connections.

“If I have a standing date with you, you’re probably going to come. … It allows us a better support system for each other because we come regardless of how we feel.”

– Anne R., a 67-year-old retired surgeon.

Choosing a class, activity or group that meets on a regular basis can be key for building new relationships. Repeated exposure to the same people can bring you closer and help you feel like you’re part of something.

“You’re around people,” Anne said. “And if you don’t show up, people say: ‘Where are you? What are you doing?’ Sometimes they’ll call — ‘Why haven’t you been here for a week?’ And that makes you feel connected.”

Anne also has a scheduled bagel date once a week with a friend she’s known since kindergarten. This ensures they spend time face to face on a regular basis. Putting it on the calendar means they’re more likely to stick to it.

“What we’ve found is that if I call you today and say, ‘Hey, you want to go have lunch?’ — if you’re not feeling quite up to it, you’re probably going to bag,” she said.

“If I have a standing date with you, you’re probably going to come. And what it does is it allows us a better support system for each other because we come regardless of how we feel.”

And finally, remind yourself that you have something valuable to offer and that your people are out there.

“Everybody has the need to connect, to be understood, to get close to others and to have companionship,” Narang said. “If you can offer that connection and companionship, there is someone out there with those needs whose personality would mesh well with yours, and that person would want you as a friend.”

Need help with mental health or substance use disorder issues? In the U.S., call 800-662-HELP (4357) for the SAMHSA National Helpline.

The Most Common Sex Issues In Your 50s (And How To Handle Them)

Posted on 22/02/2023 by Boris Clair

Living in an ageist culture that equates sex with youth, you may believe things fizzle out in the bedroom after you hit a certain age. But in many cases, that’s just not true.

In fact, 43% of Americans over age 50 say their sex life is “just as or more adventurous” than it was in their younger days, according to one 2019 survey. Another survey from 2021 found that 35% of people in this age group say their sex drive is higher now than when they were younger.

That said, our bodies and lives change as we age, which can result in some shifts in the bedroom, too.

“It is extremely important to note, however, that while changes in sexual feeling and function as we age are normal, problems are not, though we sometimes assume they are,” clinical sexologist and sexuality educator Lawrence Siegel told HuffPost.

As we get older, we need to establish new norms for ourselves, adjusting our expectations as time passes.

“A 55-year-old should not be trying to maintain the same level of interest or stamina as a 25-year-old,” Siegel said. “While things seem to work automatically when we’re younger, we have to provide more effort and awareness to them when we get older.”

To that end, we asked Siegel and other sex therapists which bedroom issues people commonly encounter in this phase of life and how to address them.

1. Negative Beliefs About Sexuality And Aging

Approaching sex as you age with a negative mindset can get in the way of a satisfying bedroom life.

Our mindset around sex as we age has a huge impact on our sex lives. And negative beliefs in this area are a “much bigger problem than most people realize,” said psychotherapist and sex therapist Nan Wise.

“We need to debunk some of the more pernicious myths and misconceptions about our sexuality as we mature. Yes, hormonal changes can negatively impact us as our bodies adjust to the shifting sands of time, but this is greatly exacerbated by our culture’s hangups about sex in general and, even more so, about sex as people age,” Wise, author of “Why Good Sex Matters,” told HuffPost.

People in their 50s have to “get past the societal stigma that they are less sexual due to their age,” said psychologist and sex therapist Shannon Chavez. In her practice, she found that many people in this age group have better sex than when they were younger.

“They are more clear on what they want and how to express it,” she told HuffPost. “Sex in your 50s is often more connected and comfortable with less performance anxiety and sexual hangups from the past. Most people in this age group are more confident and have had experience to know what they want and can be much more assertive towards a partner.”

2. Vaginal Dryness

The drop in estrogen levels that occurs with menopause can cause vaginal dryness — which, in turn, can impact sexual functioning. It’s estimated that about half of post-menopausal women deal with this condition.

“This can lead to painful or uncomfortable sexual experiences for some, which is why all women over 50 should have a good lube on hand,” Siegel said.

Spending more time on foreplay may also be helpful. Being more aroused can increase vaginal lubrication, making sex feel more pleasurable. If vaginal penetration is too painful, other activities, such as oral sex or using sex toys, might feel more enjoyable.

It’s worth noting that many women go through menopause without “any real issues,” Siegel said, “other than a sense of liberation from the chance of getting pregnant.”

3. Erection And Ejaculation Challenges

As men age, things change in the erection department — and that’s normal.

“They will not have the same kinds of spontaneous or reflexive erections the way they used to,” Siegel said. “And they will find that they may need more and varied stimulation in order to get or maintain an erection. In addition, they may also find that their erections are not as hard or robust as they used to be.”

Having erection trouble from time to time is not unusual. But if you’re unable to develop or sustain an erection most times you try to have sex, you might be dealing with erectile dysfunction. Speak with your doctor, as this can be a sign of an underlying health condition.

Also, the volume of ejaculate and the force with which it’s released may be “significantly less” than what they’re accustomed to, Siegel said.

“While things seem to work automatically when we’re younger, we have to provide more effort and awareness to them when we get older.”

– Lawrence Siegel, clinical sexologist and sexuality educator

Men are socialized to think their sexual vitality “hinges on the unfailingly consistent performance of their penises,” said Wise, which can be “a recipe for problems as men age.”

“It is also one of the most common issues that impact erectile challenges,” she said. “Even young men experience erectile dysfunction as they become preoccupied with the state of their penises during lovemaking.”

To combat this, Siegel said the most important thing is to relieve performance pressure and change the objective of sex in the first place.

“If we approach sexual encounters with the idea that we are simply wanting to share this pleasurable experience, and if ejaculation occurs, great; if it doesn’t, it can still be sharing a great, pleasurable experience,” he said. “Our intimate and erotic experiences can be greatly increased if we look at orgasm less as a goal and more as a nice side effect of sharing pleasure.”

4. Lower Sexual Desire

Stress, physical health problems, mental health issues, medication side effects and declining hormone levels can all contribute to decreased libido.

Prevalent issues for those in their 50s include “dealing with changes in their physical body and energy levels which can lead to low desire,” Chavez said, noting that menopause and other hormonal shifts are common during this time. “The hormonal shifts not only affect physiology and sexual desire but can also impact mental health, including fatigue and changes in mood,” Chavez added.

She suggested getting a hormone panel to see how to balance your hormones and reduce unwanted symptoms.

“Most hormonal changes are very manageable with the right support,” she said.

Siegel said, “it’s perfectly normal” to have less interest in sex as we age.

“For some, hormone-replacement therapy might be appropriate,” he said.
“For others, more naturalistic things like yoga, meditation, and supplements can be helpful.”

Finding ways to reduce stress in your life can improve your libido and your overall well-being.

Finding ways to alleviate stress may increase your desire for sex and make you happier and healthier overall. For example, Wise recommends daily breathing exercises to “access the healing power of the parasympathetic ‘restorative’ state.”

“Most of us spend most of our time in ‘fight-or-flight,’ which is when the body pumps out stress hormones that aren’t meant to be flooding us so consistently,” she said. “This perpetual state of hormonal stress erodes our sense of well-being and can put a kibosh on our sex drives, to boot.”

Take five minutes once or twice a day to do this practice. First, find a quiet spot to sit and “give yourself permission to be exactly as you are and for the moment to be exactly as it is,” Wise said. This is also known as radical acceptance.

“By giving yourself permission to start from where you are, you can loosen and soften a whole lot of the stress we accumulate when we resist what is,” she said.

Then take a long, smooth inhalation through your nose and a long soft exhalation.

“When you make your exhalation longer than the inhalation, your brilliant body shifts your nervous system into the restorative mode, your heart slows down, and your stress hormones decrease,” Wise said.

When stress crops up throughout the day, consider that your cue to slow your breathing.

“You may find that this simple practice becomes a wonderful new habit that enhances overall well-being and helps you tune into your lust for life — both in and out of the bedroom,” Wise said. ”Remember, pleasure isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity for a healthy mind and body and a life worth living!”

I’m A 55-Year-Old Single Mom. Here’s How I Became One Of The Most Popular Models On OnlyFans.

Posted on 21/02/2023 by Boris Clair

It was a cold winter day a year into the pandemic, and I was scrolling the news on the internet when an article caught my eye. In it, a pretty mom revealed she was making over six figures a month posting racy photos on OnlyFans, an online subscription-based site that features adult content creators.

I was 53 and single after the pandemic had thrown cold water on a promising long-distance relationship. I was raising my preteen son, taking care of my aging mother and working a remarkably boring office job that offered no benefits or chance for career advancement, but it was close to home and had day shift hours, which was best for my son.

I chose to become a solo mother at age 42 using fertility treatments after I was dumped by my fiancé for a woman 10 years younger than me. Becoming a mother was important to me, and I made choices that prioritized my son. My office job was a significant step down from the career I had in my 20s and 30s as a consumer product sales manager, but I had been required to travel frequently for that job, and that wouldn’t allow me to be the kind of parent I wanted to be. We make choices and then we live with them.

However, when I saw that article, I had what people refer to as an “aha” moment. I felt what I can only call electrical surges pulsing through me as I read. I kept thinking there had to be a catch — I could take racy photos from the safety and comfort of my own home, control my schedule and make more money than I was making from my 40-plus-hour-a-week job? How could that be possible?

I read several other articles about mom OnlyFans models, and the women were all attractive, but they weren’t supermodels. I wasn’t in great shape but felt I could clean up well enough that maybe, just maybe, this could be my chance to make some additional income. I will never forget thinking, If I can make one-tenth of what these women make, it will be life-changing.

For the next month, I worked during the day, did my “mom duties” when I got home and then went into full-on OnlyFans research mode once my son went to bed. Most nights, I fell asleep at 2 a.m. after hours of reading and strategizing.

My first hurdle was that social media wasn’t my thing ― at all. I had a small Instagram for my dog and a Facebook page for close friends and family. My identity was Mom ― that’s it. I didn’t know how to market myself or what kind of posts I should be sharing to get viewers, and I especially didn’t have any experience in adult content.

I had done some glamour modeling in my 20s, but the only reason in the past 30 years I’d ever dressed up was to go on a date or take photos for dating apps. My wardrobe was corporate casual, or what I refer to as “everyday mom.” I hadn’t even worn a two-piece swimsuit in 12 years!

I also wasn’t convinced that men would find me attractive. My mother had told me that “when a woman is past 45, she becomes invisible to men.” When I went on dating apps and saw that most men around my age were looking for women much younger than me, I accepted that she was right. I felt resigned to the fact that my days of being desirable were over.

I also believed that after stepping away from my career to raise my son, I would always be working low-paying jobs that fit my schedule, and my only hope was that I could stay healthy enough to keep working ― maybe even work multiple jobs if necessary ― so I would never be a burden on my son.

The author in her home in September 2022. "The natural 'mom next door with a smile' is my signature," she writes. "Using different parts of my house, like my stairs, as a backdrop is part of my content creator life." — The author in her home in September 2022. “The natural ‘mom next door with a smile’ is my signature,” she writes. “Using different parts of my house, like my stairs, as a backdrop is part of my content creator life.”

The more I scoured the internet for information and “spicy” content creators, the more and more “average”-looking, real women I saw ― and they were successful! They weren’t perfect, but men were loving their imperfections! For so many years, I had been told by the media that the ideal woman was 25 years old, fit, trim and “perky,” and that the further you got from that ideal, the less desirable you were. But I found women celebrating their unconventional curves, lumps, dimples ― you name it ― and all shapes and sizes were being shown and admired! I even saw some women my age and older. It was a revelation! I thought, Maybe I can do this. Maybe this is my chance to change everything.

After months of obsessively researching, planning and strategizing how to not only create a page that would please subscribers but also how to find them in the first place, I officially launched my OnlyFans page and a less-racy sister account on Instagram. However, I didn’t show my face. I will never know how I got views with just my “mom bod,” but I did, and after four days, I had my first two OnlyFans subscribers. One was 28 years old and the other was 29. I had assumed that the only subscribers I would get would be my age or older, but boy, was I wrong! The one thing all my research hadn’t uncovered became the key ingredient to my success: Many men in their 20s and 30s fantasize about being with an older woman!

Today, I have had fans from 19 to 79, but my core demographic fan is men 24 to 40. I was honestly shocked that men in their late 20s would find me attractive. I asked so many questions to those two first subscribers, and they were happy to give me the feedback that allowed me to grow and create my brand. After two weeks, I showed those two subscribers my face and asked if they thought it would help bring in new subscribers. They were enthusiastic that it definitely would. This gave me the confidence to show my face ― an incredible leap of faith and a huge risk, as I knew my conservative boss would fire me on the spot if she found out what I was doing.

My Instagram follower count exploded, and by the end of April 2021, I had 10,000 followers and 65 subscribers to my OnlyFans account. With the subscriptions and by fulfilling custom requests (subscribers can inquire about specific content they want from me for an additional fee), I made just under $2,000 in my first month. My no-benefits, full-time job paid me $2,700 a month before taxes. I was brand new on social media and OnlyFans, working constantly and learning all that I could, but I could do the math, and it was clear I was on to something. In May of 2021, I made $5,000 on OnlyFans, and I knew I was leaving money on the table because there weren’t enough hours in the day to create content and interact with my fans.

“The more I scoured the internet for information and ‘spicy’ content creators, the more and more ‘average’-looking, real women I saw ― and they were successful! They weren’t perfect, but men were loving their imperfections!”

A few weeks later, my boss called me into her office to criticize me for something. I was suddenly faced with that glorious moment that so many poorly treated employees dream of: I watched her scowl and her mouth moving while thinking, I don’t need this. This job is holding me back from making more money. I resigned the next day. I started doing OnlyFans full-time in June 2021, and that month, I made over $10,000. It would have taken me more than three months to make that at my office job!

In three months, I had made the “one-tenth” I had dreamed of during my “aha” moment. I was able to control my day, be creative, be at home with my family, and I saw the very real possibility of making more ― all as a 50-plus mom! Not only was I not “invisible” to men; there were fans spending money on me! I quickly reached the lauded Top 1% of OnlyFans creators, which meant out of the 1.5 million creators on the platform at that time (it’s now 3 million), I was making more money than 99% of them.

I have grown my social media exponentially, been the subject of numerous domestic and international news articles, been a guest on numerous podcasts, and late last year, I was honored to have a two-page spread in the U.K.’s best-selling women’s magazine!

The author in Florida in November 2022. "One of the perks of being an online content creator is that I get to go beautiful places and still work," she writes. "This was from a trip to Florida, where I rented a lovely home for my son and me." — The author in Florida in November 2022. “One of the perks of being an online content creator is that I get to go beautiful places and still work,” she writes. “This was from a trip to Florida, where I rented a lovely home for my son and me.”

My friends and family know about my new career, and I have received a variety of responses ― from celebration and encouragement to resentment and avoidance. My son knows that I am an adult model, but that’s all he wants or needs to know. What’s more important is that he knows that he is loved beyond measure, and this career has afforded us vacations and financial stability we would not have without it. He also knows that his college is paid for and that I’m a much softer touch to buy a video game now than I was two years ago.

We have had frank conversations about my motivations, and I believe that my example will help him to understand and respect people who do the kind of work I do, instead of shaming them. I recently asked him if he would ever date a woman on OnlyFans, and he replied, “Why would that matter? That would just be her job.” I believe, if anything, this experience is helping him be more open and respectful toward women. Of course, he thinks my TikToks are “cringe,” but that’s what I expect from any teenager!

Is this career easy? No. I work around the clock answering messages, posting photos on my subscription sites and free social media accounts, and creating the photos and short-form videos that OnlyFans creators use as advertising. I’m always taking photos and managing my pages ― even when I’m on vacation.

If content is king in the online creator world, planning is queen. A lot goes into those flirty, entertaining video clips on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and TikTok, from choosing the location, lighting, sounds, makeup and wardrobe to getting into the right mood to exude the happy, smiling, natural Midwest mom people have come to know and expect from me. As any performer knows, compartmentalizing is just part of the job. No matter what is going on in my personal life, I am online to entertain, to make someone smile or feel better than when they logged on. There are many times when the last thing in the world I want to do is put on something revealing and smile for the camera, but it’s part of the job, and I do it ― and that’s why I’m so successful and have such an incredible and loyal fanbase.

The past year has been particularly tough because my mom’s health has deteriorated to the point that she needed to move into an assisted living home. There have been times when I literally went from spending hours at urgent care, came home to be a mom ― including cooking, cleaning and helping with homework ― and then got myself into hair and makeup to create flirty Instagram reels before finally falling into bed for a good cry. However, I am always grateful for the money and control over my schedule that has allowed me to help my mom and to be the available mom I am to my son.

I am lucky to have so much flexibility in my life, but with demanding fans, online trolls, social media platforms that ban adult models’ accounts, as well as the pressure to consistently look good and produce entertaining content, this is hardly easy money. The constant state of hustle and lack of support can be precarious for the mental health of content creators. After all, we are still human, and the negativity we face from keyboard cowboys or the ever-present threat of content being declared too racy and losing a social media account (and the precious promotion it provides) can wear down anyone’s confidence.

Thankfully, I have been able to virtually meet and network with women all over the world who do what I do, and they understand what I’m going through much more than any “civilian” ever could. We frequently discuss our mental health and support one another, which is incredibly important, as this job can be unbelievably isolating. Despite all of these challenges, the rewards have been life-changing. I am finally building my retirement savings, I bought a new car, I’ve been able to show my son the world, and we’ve made memories that would not have been possible before I became an adult content creator.

The author at the Palace of Versailles in France in August 2022.

I’m often asked how I feel about being objectified for a living. As a young woman working in offices and holding down other “normal” jobs in the ’80s and ’90s, I was often objectified or experienced what would now be considered sexual harassment when I was just trying to do my work. On countless occasions, my looks and body were commented on by men in charge, and I was powerless to do anything other than quit.

Now, I have the power to choose what I show, how I show it and when. If I don’t like a response, I can choose to ignore or block that person. I am much more empowered than I ever was as a 20-something office assistant. I have more control over my body and how it’s viewed than I did as a 22-year-old receptionist.

Some people say I’m too old to do adult modeling, but that just makes me smile. The market decides who’s hot and who’s not, and currently, there is a market for women like me — and it’s bigger than most people know. Part of my mission is spreading age positivity and giving women ― and men ― a better appreciation of aging. I want people to know that it’s never too late to start something new ― even if it’s scary or you think it might never happen for you.

My dating life is nonexistent, which is unfortunate because I do miss being in a romantic relationship and having a partner to discuss the day with. At this point, finding that kind of support seems as fantastical as the crazy role-play fantasies I weave on my OnlyFans page to delight my fans. It’s odd to know that you are desired by hundreds of thousands of men (and some women) around the world when you haven’t been on a date in years. As if dating wasn’t hard enough for people over 50, now I have to be faced with men who see me as a meal ticket, a “Sugar Mama,” or, alternatively, who judge me because of what I do for a living.

The one time I tried a dating app, two guys recognized me from Instagram and thought I must be catfishing them. That’s one of the strangest parts of being a little famous ― there are tons of scammers who steal my photos and videos to make fake social media accounts and dating profiles. They scam guys into believing I want gift cards or cash or that I’m willing to meet with them. With so much of that nonsense going on, I don’t know how I can date. So, I’ve put romance on the back burner while I focus on my son and making money. Will I ever fall in love again? I don’t know if that’s in the cards for this lifetime, and I am at peace with that. On the other hand, if this experience has taught me anything, it’s to never say never. Who knows what’s in store for me?

As I approach the two-year anniversary of the “aha” moment that changed my life, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on where I’m at and how I got here. The universe presented an opportunity, and I seized it, and because of it, I have learned several valuable lessons: taking calculated (not reckless) risks can bring about incredible changes; life rewards action; never give up the hope that tomorrow could spark an idea that could change your life for the better (and keep your eyes peeled for them); and most of all, you can begin again at any age ― women don’t become invisible at 50 (unless they want to be, and that’s OK too)!

Elaina St James, known as “THAT OnlyFans Mom,” is a social media influencer and the author of “How To Date Hot Older Women.” In 2021 Elaina skyrocketed in popularity as a 50+ model on social media platforms, where she showcases her natural curves and bubbly personality. Elaina is a single mom with millions of views across Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and YouTube, and the most
successful OnlyFans model over the age of 55. Visit ElainaStJames.com for more info.

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What Makeup Artists Use To Make Themselves (And Clients) Look Younger

Posted on 17/02/2023 by Boris Clair

The gradual changes to your appearance that come with age should always be embraced. They can also mean that your makeup and skin care routines require some shifting.

According to veteran makeup artist and makeup department head Lindsay Garrison, what worked for you in your 20s and 30s might not be serving you in the same way during your 40s and 50s.

″[You should] learn new techniques and don’t be afraid to try new products. Our faces are changing, and so should the products we use on them,” Garrison said.

Whether you’re feeling insecure about the appearance of a new wrinkle or volume loss in your cheeks, Natalie Setareh, a cosmetics instructor with a belief that makeup can be for everyone, said that makeup can also be a tool to help you feel more confident.

“I’m near 40 and I’m already using makeup to give me a more youthful appearance. It’s natural to want to do this,” she said.

Setareh said makeup is often just a play on light, and her techniques involve bringing focus to your favorite features using highlighting, while helping to downplay anything that makes you feel self-conscious.

Keep reading to learn just how Satareh, Garrison and other makeup artists achieve this, along with a description of their favorite products and tricks of the trade for achieving a youthful glow.

HuffPost may receive a share from purchases made via links on this page. Every item is independently selected by the HuffPost Shopping team. Prices and availability are subject to change.

Credo

An active enzyme exfoliator

For Bobbi Brown Cosmetics artist-in-residence Carola Gonzalez, exfoliating the skin regularly (about three times a week) is very important.

“When it comes to makeup application, mature skin needs to be polished to remove dead skin, dry patches, and increase skin cell turnover,” she said, adding that exfoliated skin will also make foundation look smoother and more even.

She uses this active exfoliator which uses potent fruit enzymes to gently slough off dead skin cells along with nutrient-dense plant oils and honey to help restore moisture and clear congestion.

Sephora

A glowy medium coverage foundation

“As skin matures, it starts to lose luster and luminosity. Skin starts to become more dehydrated, dull, and wrinkles become more pronounced,” Gonzalez said. Because of this, she and nearly all of the other makeup artists we spoke to said that it was best to choose a foundation that’s hydrating, lightweight and has a non-matte finish.

Jeanette Aguirre, a Los Angeles-based lead makeup artist for Glamsquad, said that she loves this luminous silk foundation by Giorgio Armani on mature skin because it won’t settle into fine lines and wrinkles. The hydrating formula claims to blur imperfections and offer a glowy finish.

Other similar formula foundations recommended by our makeup artists include Future Skin Gel Foundation by Chantecaille, Koh Gen Do Maifanshi Moisture foundation and Dior Forever Skin Glow.

Sephora

An SPF-infused color correcting cream

“I can’t stress enough how important it is to wear sunscreen daily to avoid premature skin aging,” Aguirre said, something repeated by many of the others as well.

For a more natural, everyday makeup look, Aguirre reaches for this color correcting cream from Supergoop that contains mineral SPF50 for protection against UVA and UVB rays. She said she likes the customizable and buildable coverage offered by most CC creams as well as the skin-perfecting, natural finish that it leaves behind.

CC Screen is also infused with some skin care ingredients, like apple extract to help brighten the complexion and red seaweed extract which can help protect skin against free radical damage.

Sephora

A lightweight setting powder

Los Angeles-based makeup artist Susan Zeytuntsyan said that setting powder has a tendency to settle into and accentuate fine lines, so it’s important to only spot powder using a small brush, and only in areas you really need it, such as the T-zone.

“Use a very finely milled loose powder,” Zeytuntsyan said. “I love the Hourglass one because it has reflective particles that help maintain that glow while still setting your makeup.”

Amazon

A rich, multi-tasking moisturizer

According to Zeytuntsyan, hydrating the skin is one of the most important steps in the makeup prep process. This is because makeup applied on top of dry skin can make products look patchy or settle into fine lines.

“For mature skin, use a really rich and emollient moisturizer as a base for your foundation,” she said. “I love Embryolisse Lait Creme Concentre.”

This iconic French face cream actually functions as both a moisturizer and a makeup primer and contains a blend of calming aloe, soy proteins, skin-softening shea and beeswax.

Credo

A conditioning cheek palette

Both Zeytuntsyan and Garrison said to opt for a cream blush rather than a powder formula because it gives you a natural flush with a more radiant finish. Garrison said that placing your blush a bit higher on your cheekbones can give you an “instant facelift.”

“Applying blush on the apples of the cheeks gives the illusion of a rounder face and can make you look more youthful,” Zeytuntsyan added. She considers the Kosas cream blush and highlighter palettes to be a beautiful option thanks to their ultra-blendable and conditioning formula that’s fortified with skin-benefitting oils and botanicals. They are also available in three different shades.

“Another trick to make your eyes look brighter is to take [the] highlighter and apply it using your finger on your brow bone, center of your eyelid and the inner corner of your eyes,” Zeytuntsyan said. “This is a quick and easy way to brighten and add a pop to your eyes without the need for a ton of eye makeup. “

Sephora

A natural airbrush bronzer

Brett Freedman, a Los Angeles-based celebrity makeup artist, said that as we age, we lose the color in our skin. Adding a lift of tawny or bronze to your usual routine makes skin look warmer, more glowy and all-around healthier.

He suggested using Charlotte Tilbury’s Airbrush Flawless bronzer. Its pressed powder formula is made using micro-fine perfecting powders for a silky feeling on the skin as well as hyaluronic acid to hydrate.

Amazon

A highly rated lash curler

According to Freedman, nothing opens eyes up more than curling the lashes.

“Once lashes are in the curler, squeeze and hold for a quick count of 10,” he said, cautioning against “pumping” lashes with the curler, which he said “won’t really ‘set’ a curl. It won’t last.”

This highly rated stainless steel lash curler promises to never pinch the delicate skin around the eye and uses elongated silicone pads that won’t break lashes.

Nordstrom

A brown eye pencil with a slight shimmer

“One tip I always give women who want to freshen their makeup as they get older is to switch from black eyeliner to brown. Let the black from the mascara be the deepest shade,” Freedman said.

He loves Mac Cosmetics’ Eye Kohl eyeliner pencil in the shade Teddy, because it’s the perfect deep brown with the right amount of shimmer to catch light and add depth.

For even more definition that won’t drag eyes down, Freedman also suggested using a slightly lighter brown, like Mac Cosmetics’ Powersurge, on the bottom lash line.

Amazon

A brightening under-eye cream

Garrison said that it’s important to prep your under-eye area with moisture. One of her favorite eye creams is the iS Clinical Youth Eye Complex, which is packed with peptides and potent antioxidants to help support collagen production, protect the skin and reduce the appearance of fine lines.

Ulta

An 8-pack of cooling eye gels

When it comes to addressing under-eye puffiness and eye bags prior to makeup application, Garrison also likes to use these cooling eye gel patches that claim to deliver potent actives to help de-puff, brighten and smooth the under-eye.

Sephora

A “glow from within” complexion booster

Garrison’s absolute favorite product for achieving that “lit from within glow” is Charlotte Tilbury’s cult-favorite Hollywood Flawless Filter, a unique product that hydrates, illuminates and blurs imperfections.

“You can mix it in with your foundation for an all over dewy finish or just apply it to the high points of your face, like the tops of your cheekbones, for added radiance,” Garrison said.

Nordstrom

A smoothing lipstick primer

“As we age we develop fine lines around our lips and if you’re not using a lip primer, your lipstick is more likely to bleed,” Garrison said. Her solution? To always line lips prior to lipstick application and prep using this lip primer that can smooth lips and prevent lipstick from feathering.

Amazon

A creamy lip liner

Setareh said the melanin in our lips can fade with age, making them look smaller than they really are, or smaller than they once were. Using a lip liner to slightly over-line the top lip and just the center of the bottom lip can help create a more full look and draw attention to the center of the face.

She also said she avoids drying lipsticks or matte lip paints, and that lip liners by NYX are what she typically grabs for most. Available in a large variety of shades, these lip pencils are creamy and long-wearing.

Revolve

A neutral matte eyeshadow palette

Setareh commonly brightens the eyes of her mature clients, which she achieves using matte shadows from a Viseart eye palette. This professional makeup brand is known for producing richly pigmented eyeshadows that are easy to blend.

“I use a matte or satin highlighter in the corner of the eyes and move it upwards under the brown bone. This is better than trying to use concealer under the eyes, which creases tremendously,” she said.

For an extra wow effect, Setareh also applies a flesh-toned or white liner to the waterline, which can help the eye appear more open and bright.

Sephora

A creamy and radiant concealer

Garrison and Setareh both shared love for Nars’ Radiant Creamy concealer, an industry favorite formula that contains light-diffusing mineral powder to blur the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles and brighten the under-eye. It’s available in 28 shades.

Funny Tweets That Sum Up Your 20s vs. Your 30s

Posted on 15/02/2023 by Boris Clair

Every decade of life comes with its own highs and lows. Still, sometimes the contrast between those experiences couldn’t feel more jarring.

This is especially true for the formative years of your 20s and 30s. Over time, many of the funny folks on Twitter have shared musings about the difference between those two decades ― from the changes in how they choose to spend weekends to their overall approach to life, love and everything in between.

Below, we’ve rounded up 35 relatable tweets about life in your 20s vs. your 30s.

My Husband Left Me At 60 To Have A Baby With A Younger Woman. Here’s What It Taught Me.

Posted on 27/01/2023 by Boris Clair

Falling in love again at 47 and marrying for the second time at 52 was a miracle. And a bit frightening.

But, then again, falling in love is always phenomenal and terrifying.

We took care of each other ― little inconsequential things: me, placing a water glass on his bedside table; him, refilling my coffee as I wrote in the morning.

We touched each other often, like shorthand: I’m here. I’m here.

I never doubted we’d spend our later years holding hands, having better sex than ever, kissing our way around the world, then… eventually… in the distant future… the way distant future… face dying together.

But then, at 60, my husband announced he wanted to have a child with a younger woman.

Immediately my hips widened, my breasts sagged and my wrinkles deepened. Every internalized belief and vision of what it meant to be an old, unwanted, irrelevant woman became me.

A few years earlier, I’d started talking about death. I’m not obsessed ― I’m practical. Although I didn’t have a specific illness, I was aware that my life was limited — not in the sense that I could get hit by a bus tomorrow (really, how likely is that?) but in the awareness I had more past than future. I wanted to complete our wills, fill out medical proxy forms and learn his funeral preference — burial or cremation, sweetie? Did he want all lifesaving measures or not to be resuscitated? I needed to take care of these details. So if, God forbid, I did get hit by that bus tomorrow, I wouldn’t spend my last moments alive thinking, shit, I never got around to filling out those forms.

My husband didn’t want to talk about getting old and dying. He did not want to choose between burial or cremation. He did not want to even think about it. Although everyone who has ever lived on this earth has died, it felt like a personal affront to him. I got that. I even felt that. We were both doing this damn aging thing for the first time ― like learning a new sport ― and we both felt clumsy, scared and inadequate. I simply wished to take care of the paperwork and return to believing we would blissfully live the rest of our lives together.

There is no correct way to age. Some of us are overwhelmed with the grief of lost youth. Others try to exercise their way to eternal life. Some take risks, jumping out of airplanes or switching to jobs that once frightened them. Many fill their schedules with endless doctor’s appointments. Some are despondent with regrets.

I’d bought moisturizers, magic anti-wrinkle creams and exercise programs promising to reduce flab and fight gravity. I’d read articles suggesting clothes and hairstyles that camouflaged tell-tale signs of aging. I did brain exercises like sudoku to try to stave off forgetfulness.

My husband chose to have his first baby.

I didn’t see that coming.

Sixty was the age of leaving the house and returning for the car keys, the age of have you seen my glasses? The age of sudden, unwanted diagnoses. Who left a marriage at this point?

Turns out a lot of people.

The divorce rate for people in the U.S. 50 and older is almost double what it was in the 1990s. There is even a name for this group: silver splitters.

When I was younger, I’d agonized about how I’d age. My fears ran the gamut: growing stupid, not knowing my children’s names, having strangers clean my body, being immobilized by bad hips or knees, or never staying awake for the end of the story.

I questioned my friends: ”What is your plan?” Age in place? Community living? ”What is the protocol?” I heard my voice rise with an edge of panic. I did not believe I’d react well when asked to give up my car keys.

But all this planning turned out to be futile. I didn’t get to choose from my fantasy menu of aging options. Remember the old Yiddish saying: Man plans and God laughs? God was laughing, and I was suddenly trying to figure out what the rest of my life looked like without my husband.

This new phase of life required a different mindset. Now that everything had blown up and I was on a new path ― whether I wanted to be or not ― I wondered, what if I treated aging as an adventure, like traveling to a new land? Who knew which way I’d go or what I’d discover? Imagine how glittery I’d be if I filled in my cracks like the Japanese tradition of kintsugi, patching broken pottery with gold and silver. Imagine if instead of averting my eyes, I looked at my future ― however different it was now going to be ― with awe.

And with this altered perception, whole worlds opened up.

When my youngest son, from my first marriage, got engaged, he asked, “So, Mom, do you still believe in love and marriage?”

I wanted to take my time here ― he’d witnessed both my divorces. Each person we love takes a little piece of us, and then they can be careless, forget to look both ways, drink too much, climb mountain cliffs or are otherwise negligent.

People die. They fall out of love. They leave.

We grieve.

The only way to avoid this pain is to avoid love. But that is too hard a way to live.

“Yes,” I said. “I do.” I paused and said, “But love alone isn’t enough ― you need to be fearless.”

The author and almost all of her grandkids in June 2021.

Because a funny thing happened while I was grieving my husband’s departure. I discovered I really liked living alone. I found my way back to myself. Of course, it was difficult to describe being alone and happy without sounding like I was trying to convince myself that low-fat yogurt tastes as delicious as ice cream. But there could be a gratifying ending with being in alliance with myself, my desires and the people I cherish.

People around me are beginning to ask, “Are you seeing anyone?” I understood their motivation. It was some version of getting back on the horse.

A happy ending for this saga of lost love could involve me meeting another love. It wasn’t a terrible notion. I am a sucker for love. I am still the woman who watches romantic comedies. I am still a believer.

Friends and family members would relax if I fell in love again. They would stop imagining long, bleak, lonely evenings for me. Probably the only people who wouldn’t care if I am in a relationship or not are my grandchildren. I love them for it.

My ex-husband and I have chosen very different paths to age.

Maybe I couldn’t jump as high. Conversations from last week sometimes drew blanks. But I valued sitting and listening to a meandering story of my granddaughter’s nightmare.

I sat on the floor yesterday playing with cars and dinosaurs with my 2-year-old grandson. I said, half in jest, “I’m not sure how to get up.”

“Like this, Nonna.” He demonstrated putting his two hands on the floor and his bottom in the air and pushing.

I laughed so hard I fell over.

My body didn’t work as it once did, but I was committed to not letting embarrassment or shame get in my way. I was determined to still get on the floor and play with cars. Even if it meant I must put my ass in the air to get up.

I am strengthening my skills for this new land. I am learning to ask for help and be more gracious in accepting it. I am learning to disclose what I don’t know or when I’m unsure. I attempt to admit when I’m wrong and to apologize. (Of course, I should have tried that one earlier, but better late than never.) I’ve committed to taking care of myself: resting when tired, being outside more and not creating daily to-do lists that actually require three days to complete.

I’m working on accepting that I cannot create happiness for anyone else. I can share joy and wonder, crack jokes and join in the laughter, but I cannot develop a sense of serenity in another person. Despite my many years as a therapist and a parent, I know I cannot prevent suffering. I can sit with my children, grandchildren, friends and patients. I can hold their hands and offer a shoulder to cry on, encourage and cheer them on ― I can soothe hurt and troubled feelings. I can advocate for them and help them find resources. But finding a sense of well-being is their own work to do. That is an inside job.

And, of course, that also applies to me.

I have let go of the idea that I will make a big splash and solve the world’s problems. I recycle, protest and donate, but I really have no idea how to protect endangered species or get the world to pay attention to climate change. Or end poverty. Or child abuse. Or war. Or racism. And still, I want to learn. I want to do what I can, even in my own little way.

I savor small pleasures. Daffodils. Growing beans we can eat. I pull my novel out of the drawer and dust it off. At work, I asked for a raise and got it. I focus on the birdsong in the pre-dawn light.

Despite the visible reminders of old age, strangers say hi and smile at me. I believe, Ha! They are admiring an energetic, engaged old woman.

I still carry a self-image of a graceful, pretty woman, so I’m shocked when I see a lumbering gray-haired me in a photo. I tell myself that I’ve always photographed poorly.

I choose to live with these two delusions: I photograph terribly, and strangers admire me. There are worse ones. I could choose to believe I control the world ― or should ― and always be upset when things don’t go the way I’d planned. I could choose to live with the delusion that by 70, the world owes me something and be pissed when it doesn’t come my way. I could choose to live with the delusion that aging and dying are not in my cards and be horrified at the process. I could choose to live with all sorts of delusions that would cause me to be resentful and scared.

Instead, I choose to feel graceful and love ― in whatever ways I can ― and believe that strangers on the street are wishing me well.

Virginia DeLuca lives in Boston, Massachusetts, and works as a psychotherapist. She’s the author of the novel, “As If Women Mattered” and her essays have appeared in the Iowa Review, The Writer, and others. She is the graduate of the GrubStreet Memoir Incubator program and has completed her memoir, “If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets.”

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Paget Brewster Shares Thoughts On Aging, Cosmetic Surgery With New Year’s Day Photo

Posted on 04/01/2023 by Boris Clair

Paget Brewster intends to stay “inquisitive and sexy” as she looks ahead to her future in Hollywood.

The 53-year-old actor, best known for her portrayal of Emily Prentiss on the drama series “Criminal Minds,” acknowledged the new year Sunday by sharing her thoughts about aging and the decision not to go under the knife.

“Hi guys. I’m excited about 2023!” she tweeted, alongside a photo showing off her gray hair. “It’s hard getting older and not doing injections or surgery but I choose that. I’m older. I’m still hard working, inquisitive and sexy. Very sexy.”

By mid-Tuesday, Brewster’s tweet had received nearly 130,000 likes and a plethora of supportive comments. Many followers shared selfies in which they, too, displayed their gray tresses.

“I just wish that aging honestly ― and proudly ― were the norm,” journalist Amy Biancolli wrote. “The older we get, the more kickass we get. That’s the lesson and arc of life.”

Added “Portlandia” producer Evan Shapiro: “Grey is the new black. You look amazing – better than ever.”

Brewster joins a number of women in the entertainment industry, including Jamie Lee Curtis and Andie MacDowell, who are choosing to embrace their age, even if that means speaking out against cosmetic procedures.

In July, the actor shared another photo in which she rocked gray hair, noting that she’d chosen not to color it.

I like my grey hair. I have felt pressure to dye it, pretend to be 35 again, no thanks. We all have huge issues to address, I know. This is one small battle. But I think all of us have small personal battles. Let’s start by being kind to each other, even when we disagree. Please. pic.twitter.com/dGMJyfqfMr

— paget brewster (@pagetpaget) July 12, 2022

“I have felt pressure to dye it, pretend to be 35 again, no thanks,” she tweeted at the time. “We all have huge issues to address, I know. This is one small battle. But I think all of us have small personal battles. Let’s start by being kind to each other, even when we disagree. Please.”

Jamie Lee Curtis Slams Popular Cosmetic Procedure: ‘You Look Like A Plastic Figurine’

Posted on 12/10/2022 by Boris Clair

Sure, Michael Myers is terrifying — but aging shouldn’t be.

Or at least that was the message Jamie Lee Curtis tried to convey while speaking to “Today” last week.

The “Halloween Ends” star, 63, shared her thoughts about getting older and the wisdom she’s gained since turning 60 — which included going under the knife.

“I did plastic surgery. I put Botox in my head,” Curtis said. “Does Botox make the big wrinkle go away? Yes. But then you look like a plastic figurine.”

Due to her experiences of succumbing to beauty standards, Curtis says that she always tells her daughters, Annie and Ruby, to keep one rule in mind: “Don’t mess with your face.”

And although the actor — who rose to fame at age 19 with her role as Laurie Strode in John Carpenter’s 1978 classic “Halloween” and has been highly visible ever since — could empathize with the appeal of turning back the clock, she insists that getting cosmetic procedures isn’t worth it.

“Walk a mile in my shoes,” she said. “I have done it. It did not work. And all I see is people now focusing their life on that.”

Curtis has never shied away from her thoughts on aging or cosmetic procedures, and has also spoken candidly about how her experiences with plastic surgery led to a yearslong drug addiction.

She explained to Variety in 2019 that she began getting plastic surgery after a cameraman once refused to shoot her because her eyes were “too puffy” on film.

“I was so mortified and so embarrassed and had just so much shame about it that after that movie, I went and had routine plastic surgery to remove the puffiness,” Curtis told the outlet. “They gave me Vicodin as a painkiller for something that wasn’t really painful.”

Curtis, who has been sober for over 20 years now, has also spoken about embracing her body as it is — and how empowering it has been.

In March, she revealed a photo of her character in “Everything Everywhere All at Once” on Instagram. In the photo, her character sits with her belly proudly on display. Curtis explained in her post that she gave a very specific idea of how she wanted her character to be styled in the film: “I want there to be no concealing of anything.”

“I’ve been sucking my stomach in since I was 11, when you start being conscious of boys and bodies, and the jeans are super tight,” Curtis wrote in her post. “I very specifically decided to relinquish and release every muscle I had that I used to clench to hide the reality. That was my goal. I have never felt more free creatively and physically.”

More Men Are Getting Botox Than Ever. Here’s How ‘Brotox’ Is Different.

Posted on 03/08/2022 by Boris Clair

First introduced to the general public in the late 1980s, Botox has now become a billion-dollar industry that has challenged our relationship with beauty, wellness, plastic surgery, ageism and even gender ― it’s not just women who are getting the procedure.

According to the 2020 plastic surgery statistics report by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, in 2020, women received about 4 million Botox-type treatments while men underwent just over 250,000 procedures of the kind.

Although there’s still a large difference in number of treatments between the two genders, experts are quick to note that, in the past few years, there has been a sharp increase in desire for the muscle-freezing, wrinkle-reducing injection among a range of people.

“While Botox is and has traditionally been more popular among women, various sources have demonstrated that it has been growing in popularity among men, as well,” said Dr. Samuel Lin, a board-certified plastic surgeon and associate professor of surgery at Harvard Medical School.

Facial plastic surgeon Dr. Jacob D. Steiger has also noticed the trend. “We are seeing the proportion of men versus women increasing,” he noted, “meaning the male segment is increasing at a higher rate. This is jokingly referred to as ‘brotox.’”

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, “brotox” is the No. 1 cosmetic procedure requested by men, with a 400% increase in treatments administered since 2000.

Overall, men and women seem to concentrate on the same area of the face when undergoing treatment: the forehead.

In the past, “people preferred a more total effect to the point that they looked expressionless,” explained Dr. Bruce Hermann, a board-certified plastic surgeon. “Today, I find that the majority of women prefer the maximal effect possible without having a frozen forehead. For men, I find that in general they prefer an effect similar to women but a bit more subtle on the forehead.”

Male vs. Female Botox

Although men and women tend to seek Botox treatments on similar areas of the face, experts note that the procedures differ based the gender one was assigned at birth. As a general statement, given their larger muscle mass in the facial musculature, men need more Botox than women do to obtain similar effects.

“For example, in the glabellar area [the skin between your eyebrows], for a similar effect, I start women with about 15 units of Botox and go up as needed to achieve the desired result,” Hermann shared. “For men, I would normally recommend starting with 20 units and adjusting from there.”

The expert is quick to note that the approach gets more complex when dealing with patients’ foreheads. “Men commonly prefer a more subtle effect in the area,” he said. “So I’ll use a higher dosage per area in men but inject a smaller surface area.”

As long as the dosage is adjusted, the frequency of injection is the same for men and women, Steiger said. For most patients, results last about four months.

In general, given their larger muscle mass in the facial musculature, men need more Botox than women do to obtain similar effects.

Anatomical variations in skin composition can also potentially lead to gender-specific differences in terms of reactions and complications. “Men typically have thicker skin with higher collagen composition compared to women,” Lin explained. “Male skin also tends to be more vascular, which carries a higher complication rate of bleeding and bruising when injecting Botox.”

Although based on anecdotal evidence, some physicians also believe that Botox wears off faster in men given their metabolism. However, Lin explained that this should be discussed directly between a patient and doctor, because it’s not easy to generalize “given broad differences in human metabolism.”

In short: Men and women look to address similar facial issues when getting Botox, but the dosages needed to reach similar results can vary.

The Future Of Botox

Experts, including Hermann, believe the overall trends will stay the same in the future: Men and women will continue seeking to tackle similar facial issues through the treatment. Although more women than men are likely to undergo the procedure, “the percentage of men getting Botox will increase slightly each year,” Hermann predicted.

The surgeon specifically calls out ageism in the workforce. Although ageism was once an issue commonly mentioned by women in the workforce, it affects men as well.

Case in point: In 2019, Google settled an age discrimination lawsuit concerning its hiring practices. As a result, over 200 job seekers over the age of 40 who had applied for positions at the company received a settlement of $11 million.

COVID-19 also changed things. “The ‘Zoom effect’ is a phenomenon brought on by the pandemic whereby people working from home saw themselves more frequently on camera and started to notice things that made them look more aged,” Hermann said. “A study by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons in 2020 showed an increase in interest in plastic surgery or non-surgical procedures like Botox to look younger in 11-35% of women surveyed that were using Zoom or similar platforms.”

If you’re ever considering a Botox treatment, here’s how to find a reputable provider.

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Paget Brewster Shares Thoughts On Aging, Cosmetic Surgery With New Year’s Day Photo

Jamie Lee Curtis Slams Popular Cosmetic Procedure: ‘You Look Like A Plastic Figurine’

More Men Are Getting Botox Than Ever. Here’s How ‘Brotox’ Is Different.

Male vs. Female Botox

The Future Of Botox