Doctors Say This Lifestyle Change Can Seriously Improve Your Sex Life

Many of us know that the benefits of reducing or giving up alcohol all together include feeling less stressed, feeling physically healthier, and more alert but did you know that cutting out booze can also make you better in bed?

According to Dr Babak Ashrafi, a GP that specialises in sexual health, there are quite a few bedroom benefits to cutting out booze that may make you want to join the 21% of Brits that have cut out alcohol entirely over the past six months.

How giving up alcohol can improve your sex life

According to Ashrafi: “Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant with short-term and long-term effects on sexual function.

“It impairs coordination, judgement, and reaction time, leading to difficulties in achieving and maintaining erections in men.

“For women, it can increase vaginal dryness, causing discomfort during sex and reducing your libido. While it initially increases sexual desire, excessive consumption decreases libido and arousal over a prolonged period.”

This may be part of what is causing 1 in 5 people assigned male at birth to experience erectile dysfunction.

Giving up alcohol may also improve intimacy between you and your sexual partner. This is because, according to Ashrafi, giving up alcohol can reduce emotional and psychological issues such as anxiety and depression.

He adds that avoiding alcohol means that individuals may experience increased energy and stamina, allowing for “more satisfying and prolonged sexual experiences.”

Giving up alcohol will help you feel more confident in the bedroom

Many of us consider having a few drinks to be ‘liquid courage’ and while Ashrafi acknowledges that alcohol reduces inhibitions, he adds that it isn’t really a long-term solution to confidence issues.

Instead, you may find that confidence comes with the benefits of drinking less. He adds: “With lower levels of stress, anxiety and depression, your mental health can improve, making you feel happier generally.”

This correlates with studies that have found that alcohol is only a temporary solution to confidence issues and is more likely to actually reduce confidence.

Other health benefits of giving up alcohol

Still need one final nudge? We’ve got you. According to NHS Better Health, the health benefits of giving up alcohol are:

  • Feeling better in the mornings
  • Being less tired and more energetic
  • Better-looking skin
  • Saving money
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Lower risk of stroke, hypertension, cancer, and liver disease
  • Lower cholesterol levels
  • Better mood, memory, and quality of sleep

NHS Better Health also has a range of resources to help you cut down your drinking.

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5 Signs Your ‘Dry January’ Should Maybe Be A Permanent Thing

So you’re trying Dry January – aka a month of no alcoholic beverages. Perhaps you’re doing it to save money, because you’re worried you drink a little too much or because your friend doesn’t want to do it alone.

Regardless, there’s probably a part of you that’s “sober-curious,” meaning you’re thinking about how alcohol affects you and your life.

As you skip out on drinks throughout the month, you may notice signs that make you even more sober-curious. Maybe you realise how much you’ve been relying on alcohol or how much better your life is without it.

Below, experts share the signs your Dry January challenge should become a more permanent part of your lifestyle and list tips for sticking with it.

1. You realise all you’ve missed out on because of drinking

While alcohol is something many of us turn to when we feel upset, want to have fun or need to wind down, it can also limit our lives. For example, when you’re drunk, you can’t drive to a Zumba class or play with your baby niece.

“Dry January presents a host of opportunities to experience what we otherwise might have missed out on,” says Brook McKenzie, the chief operating officer at Renewal Lodge by Burning Tree, an addiction treatment center. With all that extra time you had during Dry January, he explained, you might have gotten to try something new and exciting.

Further, you might recognise all you missed out on — either in general or sober. “Often, due to the prevalence of alcohol in our culture, people can go years — even decades — without having experienced things like a first kiss, an intimate conversation, a child’s first steps, a movie, meal, birthday, [or] Christmas without the use of alcohol,” says James Hartley, a U.K.-based counsellor who’s been sober for three and a half years.

2. Your interests change

According to Hartley, you may find your old interests boring or need to re-find the value of something without a drink.

“Enjoying yourself without alcohol takes some relearning, and you might find that some things you thought you enjoyed, you actually don’t, and you might find that you start developing new interests,” he says.

For example, you might find more value in small group gatherings than parties, or enjoy playing recreational soccer over drinking alone at home.

3. You feel better emotionally, mentally and physically

As you probably know, alcohol can make you feel groggy, moody and nauseous, to start. So, abstaining from it has many benefits.

“You might experience an increase in energy, alertness, positive thinking, less depressed symptoms, more restful sleep and overall an improvement in your well-being,” says Cathrin Moeller, a licensed marriage and family therapist with Thriveworks in Colorado Springs, Colorado, who specialises in addiction, depression, coping skills, stress and relationships.

Elena Touroni, a consultant psychologist and co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic, explained how this works: “As we all know, alcohol is a depressant and it impacts our brain’s ‘happy’ hormones, like serotonin and dopamine,” she says. “One of the benefits of cutting out alcohol is that you’re likely to feel more balanced in mood, less anxious, etc.” Those changes may help you at your job, too, as work feels more doable and less stressful.

4. Your relationships have improved

Since alcohol can take us away from friends, family, special events and more, you may have noticed the deepening of your relationships in Dry January.

“People are coming around [you] more, they are [giving] positive feedback that drinking less has been good for them, and [your] interactions with people are more genuine and less superficial,” says Kendall Phillips, a licensed professional counselor.

Connecting with others in a meaningful way is vital to our well-being. It can lengthen your life, strengthen your immune system and lower levels of anxiety and depression.

5. Staying away from alcohol was difficult for you

If you notice distressing emotions come up more than they have in other months – and wish you could quiet them with a drink – that could be because you used alcohol to numb them in the past, according to Moeller.

“If that is the case, it is important to seek support in working through this with a licensed mental health professional,” she adds.

Ultimately, it comes down to dependence. “The main difference between social drinking and being a ‘problem drinker’ is reliance,” Touroni says. Some signs of reliance she shared are struggling without having alcohol to turn to, thinking about alcohol a lot and feeling like you need it in social situations.

“If during this period a person is having physical, emotional or psychological cravings and withdrawals, this does signify a more serious problem,” adds Dee Johnson, an addiction therapist based at Priory Hospital Chelmsford in the UK. As a result, staying away from alcohol may be especially difficult – and something you need professional help with, she says, as Dry January can be dangerous for people whose bodies are addicted to alcohol.

Dry January is a good way to examine your relationship with alcohol and decide whether you should make more concrete changes to your drinking habits.

Nenov via Getty Images

Dry January is a good way to examine your relationship with alcohol and decide whether you should make more concrete changes to your drinking habits.

Do those signs necessarily mean you’re dealing with addiction?

The short answer: No. However, continuing to pay attention to your relationship with alcohol is crucial.

“Alcohol misuse is usually a slow burner that increases subtly over time, to the point that as physical tolerance levels slowly increase, it is quite common for the realisation to hit that there really is an issue only at crisis or near to [the] crisis point,” Johnson says.

(FYI, the signs of alcoholism include feeling powerless to alcohol, drinking in high-risk situations, developing a tolerance, noticing withdrawal symptoms without it, facing problems in your personal and professional life because of your need for alcohol, and more.) Also, Johnson adds, you don’t have to drink “every day” or “just the hard stuff” to have an addiction.

Truth be told, we all have something we turn to when we need to cope: sex, food, alcohol, yoga, friends. To some degree, that’s normal and OK. The problem is when it interferes with your life and well-being.

“What’s important is the relationship you have to that thing and whether, in the long term, that is preventing you from living a fuller and more contented life,” Hartley adds. “Whether you term yourself as ‘an addict’ is irrelevant: The truth is, you have a problem with the way things currently are, and it may be worthwhile having a go at changing that a little.”

Tips For Exploring A Sober Lifestyle

Regardless of how you define your relationship with alcohol, what can help you avoid it (especially when it’s basically everywhere)? Here are some options, straight from these experts:

  • Working with a therapist
  • Asking your family and friends to support you
  • Practicing new coping skills
  • Leaning in to your religion or spirituality
  • Finding new hobbies and interests
  • Asking someone to be your accountability partner
  • Attending meetings focused on quitting alcohol
  • Not going to bars
  • Taking it one day at a time
  • Thinking about how much better you feel
  • Brainstorming your goals (those related to staying sober and other ones).

If you slip up, be gentle with yourself. This happens, and your hard work isn’t lost. “It is part of the journey to experience setbacks, as with any goal,” Moeller said. “Think of it as part of the journey versus a failure.”

Remember, you’re not alone in what you’re going through, and help is out there.

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