8 Things Therapists Do To Handle Stress Over Christmas

There’s no doubt that the festive season can be a stressful time, amid all the travel plans, family visits and present shopping.

These activities often involve an array of demands that take a toll on your mental health, such as cleaning, cooking and spending. So it’s totally OK to experience stress or anxiety among the festivities; even mental health professionals – who may seem like they have it all together – aren’t immune to these feelings.

HuffPost asked therapists for insight on how they feel joy and cheer amid the stress of the season. Here are their personal tips for decompressing and relaxing:

They set aside time for themselves

The festive season can be a busy time, especially if you are surrounded by friends and family. It’s normal to feel stressed and anxious about meeting up with people or hanging with relatives.

“I always make sure I set aside some time for myself to relax during the holidays and focus on my wellness needs,” says Michael Klinkner, a licensed clinical social worker in Arizona.

They scribble a few thoughts in a journal

Minerva Guerrero, a therapist who founded Mind Matters Mental Health Counseling in New York, says she often takes a journaling break to intentionally ground herself.

“I like to journal to get clear on what I’m hoping the holidays bring me and how I feel during this time,” she says. “This self-care activity really helps me destress and relax during the holiday season.”

They listen to music

Music therapy can evoke feelings of calmness and relaxation.

“I often create soothing and hype-me-up playlists, which help me move through my feelings,” says Naiylah Warren, a therapist and clinical content manager with mental health platform Real.

They focus on holiday events that give them joy

During one of the busiest times of the year, it’s important to set boundaries to take care of your mental health and wellbeing.

“I generally check in with myself in regards to what traditions or gatherings feel stressful to me and which ones bring me joy,” says Kama Hurley, a clinical counsellor and life coach in Idaho. “I prioritise what I love to do and say no to the things that make me feel anxious.”

Even therapists need some coping strategies to get through the holidays.

LordHenriVoton via Getty Images

Even therapists need some coping strategies to get through the holidays.

They make a self-care list

Hurley says she writes a self-care list when she’s anxious or stressed, as it gives her agency and lifts her mood.

“I write down activities that help me relax and make me feel good about myself that I can accomplish when feeling the intense emotions,” she says.

Having a go-to list that you can reference and change will help you identify which activities are sources of joy.

Madeline Lucas, another therapist and clinical content manager at Real, shared some self-care activities that help her feel less isolated in her holiday stress: taking long showers with music, applying sheet face masks, going on walks and stretching.

They sit in stillness for a few minutes

The art of meditation can be powerful in achieving a sense of calm and balance.

“I practise meditation exercises for a few minutes whenever I feel stressed,” says Regine Muradian, a clinical psychologist in California. When you feel that stress starting to creep up on you, take a moment to inhale deeply and focus on your breathing.

They plan ahead

Israa Nasir, a therapist who founded the mental wellness brand Well.Guide, said she plans ahead for the festive season, which helps her destress. “I make sure to take care of any client and associated work-related obligations fully when I take time off during the holidays,” she says.

Planning a schedule before you get too busy may feel comforting as it offers a sense of routine, with many decisions already made in advance.

They talk to their therapist

Many mental health professionals get help from therapists of their own to manage stress. If you feel that stress is inhibiting your ability to get through the day, consider connecting with a mental health professional now.

“If I anticipate a lot of stress prior to the holiday season, I’ll schedule a few extra sessions with my own therapist before they go on their holiday break to help process the feelings I’m having,” Nasir says.

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8 Festive Dishes With A Twist For The Tastiest Christmas Dinner Ever

The big Christmas meal is just days away, but don’t you feel like switching things up a bit this year?

Sure, we love our traditional turkey and trimmings, but it can all feel a bit same same. Which is a shame, given the amazing food culture we have in the UK.

Luckily, our friends over at Tasty have been set on changing all that with their festive video series, A Very Tasty Christmas. Throughout the month of December, they’ve been spotlighting different cultures around the UK who celebrate Christmas – sharing recipes for the delicious dishes they eat.

As a treat, we got to sample every one of these delicious dishes a few weeks ago at the joint Buzzfeed / HuffPost Christmas gathering, so we can vouch for just how mouthwateringly tasty they really are.

Take your pick from the recipes below or why not try them all over the festive break? We promise they’ll add flavour and fun to your table on December 25.

Kosovan Brussels Sprouts 🇽🇰

Are you still a sprout doubter? You won’t be once you’ve tried these bad boys. The magic to this recipe from Lirim Gula, aka @gulasgrub, is Sujuk, a dry, spicy and fermented Balkan sausage that takes this festive veg from no to “WOH!”

Cantonese Hoisin Spatchcock Chicken 🇭🇰

If you’d like something different to turkey, give this juicy chicken recipe from Romany Henry, aka @dudu_eats. a go. Spatchcocking ensures the crispiest skin, while the honey glaze and (hidden) garlic cloves add flavour.

Filipino Leche Flan 🇵🇭

Who said Christmas pud has to be stodgy? Make this lighter-than-light Filipino flan from @godfrey_mercado instead (and appreciate his jumper while you do!). The secret is in not overstirring – and getting the final flip after cooking just right.

Ghanian Jollof Rice with Festive Suya Skewers 🇬🇭

Representing Ghana, plant-based chef Rachel, aka @tastycurls, delivers the ultimate Jollof Rice recipe – with 100% vegan skewers on the side. This dish has spice, thanks to the Scotch Bonnet in the sauce – and we love her for it.

Haitian Macaroni Au Gratin 🇭🇹

Carinne Julien, aka @carcarj brings sunny Haiti to these chilly climes, with a classy spin on Mac & Cheese. The key? Cheese and more cheese. Watch the vid to see she adds cheddar and parmesan, not once but three times. Yum!

British Toad In The Hole 🇬🇧

It’s not Christmas without pigs in blankets so praise be to creator Emma, aka @thesugafix_, for giving this British classic a key festive update. Serve this one up on Christmas day and you’ll be getting a round of applause from all.

Italian Wine Cookies 🇮🇹

These tasty Christmas cookies aren’t just for dunking in wine, you actually pour it in the cookie dough, too! You’ll also be using olive oil instead of butter. Could things get more Italian? Wonderful Lucia Fioravanti, aka @luu_cy, explains all.

Middle Eastern Christmas Turkey 🇸🇾

And finally, the turkey on top! Homam Ayaso (@homamino) adds his own special twist on this Christmas centrepiece, smothering it in delicious butter made aromatic with herbs, spices, citrus and a little festive magic for a turkey, in Homan’s words “like no other”. A very merry Christmas from him – and us!

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My Children Are Autistic, Here’s How We Make Christmas Wonderfully Unique

The festive period can be overwhelming for lots of people, but for autistic children it can be a particularly fraught time of year.

The disruption to their routine, sensory overload, and overwhelming influx of new information can be stressful and sometimes even distressing, says Michelle Myers, who works for Great Minds Together, a charity supporting young people with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND).

Myers – who is an autistic woman and mum to autistic children – suggests all of this can add up to trigger episodes of increased levels of anxiety, fluctuation of needs and different behaviours as children process these changes.

“It can be a really difficult time,” she tells HuffPost UK, “but there are steps that parents can take to better support them and reduce the overall stress of the festive period.”

Here are her tips for navigating the festive period if your child is autistic or has additional needs.

Don’t be afraid to create new traditions

“Be unapologetically you and do what brings your family peace and joy this Christmas,” says Myers.

Whether it’s leaving presents unwrapped under the tree because your child has a sensory sensitivity to wrapping paper, or you let them eat their favourite pizza instead of Christmas dinner, her main piece of advice is to “do what works for you”.

“Create new traditions,” she suggests. “Neurodiverse families are wonderfully unique so it makes sense that our Christmas should be just as wonderfully unique as we are.”

Do plan ahead

Sticking to daily routines can be so important for autistic children (and adults!), so Myers advises keeping as many routines in place as possible over the festive period – and that includes Christmas Day.

“Some routines for autistic people are as essential to us as breathing,” she says, “so to have too many changes can really impact us.”

When things do have to change, it’s important to plan as far in advance so you can give your child as much warning as possible – “and don’t change too many things at once,” she adds.

Don’t say ‘yes’ to events you know will be stressful

It’s so important to advocate for the needs of your child – and that means saying no to events that you know will be stressful.

“Tell Aunty Irene that hugs are a no-go. Ask school for a timetable of events. You owe no explanations to anyone,” says Myers.

She says autistic people deserve to have their “often-hidden needs accepted and respected”, otherwise they can fall into the trap of feeling the pressure to conform, which can lead to masking, she adds, “which is never a good thing for anyone”.

Masking is where a person hides or disguises parts of their selves in order to fit in. According to the National Autistic Society, it might involve suppressing certain behaviours autistic people find soothing, or mimicking the behaviour of other people in order to get by in social situations.

Do use visual supports

Visual supports such as lists, calendars, text messages or even photos can help autistic people prepare for new experiences, suggests Myers. So don’t be afraid to roadmap what Christmas – and the following days – will entail.

“It helps us to process time, sequence activities and even reduces our anxiety,” she says.

Any kind of visual support you can provide will act as a sat nav to their day. This helps them see the steps they need to take, prevents them from getting lost, and maps out the time it will take (so they can see it will end eventually).

All of this can contribute to preventing them from getting overwhelmed.

Do remember to schedule time for them to recharge

“Imagine we all have a battery inside us. Some things we do drain our battery, and some things we do charge our battery. December brings with it lots of things that can quickly deplete autistic children’s batteries,” says Myers.

Whether it’s the carols, the flashing lights, the social interaction with family members you haven’t seen since this time last year.

“We need to remember that their little batteries may need more opportunities to charge at this time,” says Myers. So do schedule time for your family to rest amid the mayhem of the festive period – even on Christmas Day.

“Take a sensory bag, ear defenders, a dark den, their favourite snack or blanket, whatever works for them,” she adds.

Don’t be too hard on yourself

One thing it’s important for parents to remember is that it’s ok if things don’t turn out perfectly at Christmas. You’re doing the best you can.

Myers recalls how one year her Christmas tree collapsed and thousands of pine needles fell off it. “I was devastated,” she recalls. “I cried so much I convinced myself that Christmas was over.

“But then my son came bounding down the stairs and proceeded to swish through the dry dead pine needles like fallen autumn leaves – my tears turned to hysterical laughter streaming down my face.

“All was not lost, right there in that moment we found joy and laughter. We shared such a moment together in the chaos of my fallen tree that I realised that for us, Christmas was always going to look a bit different to everyone else’s – and that was OK.

“In fact, it was more than ok, it was amazing.”

For more information on supporting children with SEND including informative blogs and podcasts visit www.greatmindstogether.co.uk.

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Christmas Pay Dates Are Screwing Us More Than Usual This Year

With both Christmas and New Year’s Day falling on a Sunday this year, the following Monday and Tuesday become bank holidays – which means the day you get paid will be moving.

The majority of companies opt to move their December pay date forward in this situation, which can feel like a real festive treat for employees at the time.

But come January, when you’ve potentially had 40 days or more between pay cheques, the disruption to your usual budget can really hit hard.

Every year when this happens, you’ll see tweets on social media with people joking about January pay day feeling a million years away.

But with the cost of living so high this year and people’s finances already at breaking point, for many households this will be no laughing matter.

All this means that preparing for the inevitable Christmas pay gap is even more essential than usual.

If you’ve already been paid this month, try to avoid using those early funds to pay for last-minute Christmas gifts and extras that aren’t essential.

To help with budgeting, Mat Megens, CEO of money-saving app HyperJar, recommends dividing your December salary into five as soon as it hits your account.

“If you’re used to a monthly salary lasting four weeks you can come unstuck when you’re paid earlier than usual in December,” he tells HuffPost UK.

“So make sure you divide what you have by five (depending when you’re paid) – not four – to get you through to that next pay cheque at the end of January.”

If you receive Universal Credit alongside your salary, a shift in pay date can also change the benefits you receive – something to factor into any budgeting.

Anna Stevenson, senior benefits specialist at the charity Turn2us, explains: “Unfortunately, if you’re on Universal Credit, this can cause problems, because it might look to Universal Credit that you got twice as much pay in the month as you actually did.

“Your employer is supposed to report pay on the usual pay date, even when they pay early but it might be a good idea to remind them of this and point them to the HMRC guidance.”

If you think your Universal Credit payment has been cut in January, Stevenson advises contacting the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) to explain what has happened.

“If it has been cut, be sure to ask for an RTI (real time information) dispute,” she says.

“This means that the DWP can investigate and re-assign your missing payment to your next month’s payment. It is worth noting this can take over a month to rectify, so it is best to talk to your employer before you are paid to prevent this happening.”

Others have shared their own tips on social media, such as setting some money aside and ‘paying yourself’ on your usual pay date.

Megens provides us with these further tips for staying on top of your budget when your pay date has moved:

Swap brands for supermarket own-label
Food is one of our biggest monthly expenses. You can save around £40 in January by swapping big brands for supermarket own-label equivalents.

Forget regifting… resell instead
If you don’t have gift receipts, head to auction sites like eBay, or try Depop and Vinted for clothes and accessories, to get some cash back in your pocket in January.

Have a strategy for the sales
Set yourself a limit if you’re spending in the Boxing Day and New Year sales and don’t get carried away. Only buy what you’ve planned for, and double check the price now so you’re sure you’re getting a genuine bargain.

Take control: plan for pressure points
Use any downtime between Christmas and New Year to take your first budgeting steps into 2023. Plan for the year’s financial pinch points – those big expenses that come up every year, like house insurance, holidays and Christmas. Note when they’re due and how much you need to start putting aside to pay for them and avoid getting into debt.

And if you’re doing all that and you’re still worried about money, Stevenson says it’s worth checking whether you’re eligible for state support.

“Millions of people miss out on thousands of pounds each year because they’re not sure what they’re entitled to,” she says – urging people use the free Turn2us Benefits Calculator to find out what extra help may be available to you and your family at this time.

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This Is Why Some Kids Are Terrified Of Santa – And What To Do About It

If you’ve taken your child to see Santa recently, chances are they’ll have reacted one of three ways: they’ll have been shy and a bit unsure, they’ll have been super excited and loved the experience, or they’ll have become really upset.

“If you’ve ever been to a Santa’s grotto it is very common to see kids responding fearfully when it’s their turn to see Santa,” says counsellor Chris Boobier. “The photos are not as parents expected, with many children in tears.”

Sometimes this fear of Saint Nick can spiral into something more. Year-on-year data reveals that Google searches for ‘Santaphobia’ have increased by 56% since last December, according to analysis by Crafted Beds, while searches for ‘fear of Santa’ have risen by 31%.

Why is Santa so scary?

If you think about it, it makes total sense that children would be wary of this strange man dressed in a bright red outfit with fake facial hair. Especially if they’ve been warned against interacting with strangers.

Then you’ve got all the additional storylines that surround Santa. The fact he watches over kids and knows if they’ve been naughty or nice, that he can squeeze down the chimney and drop presents into their bedrooms when they’re asleep.

“It completely goes against everything that is regularly taught about safety, causing conflicted feelings,” says Boobier.

On top of that, come December – heck, November – Santa is everywhere. “Now that you can write to Santa, get Santa to call you, go and see Santa, track him through the air, there is a lot ‘more’ of Santa than ever before and it can be overwhelming,” says the therapist.

“He changes size and shape, has different voices and it doesn’t quite add up: kids are smart and know something is afoot, but also believe what they are told.”

Then you’ve got the over-stimulating environment in which you usually find Santa – the bright lights, loud sounds and crowds of people at his grotto.

Combine that with a couple of years of not socialising much (thanks Covid) and it’s really no wonder more kids aren’t shaking in their boots on coming face-to-face with Mr Claus himself.

“We are in a post Covid world where children under four have not been socialised as much as before because of lockdowns,” says Counselling Directory member Claire Elmes. “This is feeding into many social difficulties, including visiting Santa.”

How to tell your child has a phobia of Santa

The point at which being scared of Santa turns into a full-blown phobia is usually after a negative experience has occurred and the child has linked this to Santa in some way. You might find, as a parent, that anything related to Santa or Christmas then triggers your child, causing a physical and emotional reaction.

You might even notice they start to react negatively to anyone wearing similar red coats, says hypnotherapist Penny Ling: “Our brain’s pattern match for danger. A person with a phobia of spiders will jump at a tomato stalk, so it stands to reason a child phobic about Santa will respond with fear around red coats and long white beards.”

Symptoms of Santaphobia could include your child feeling more anxious than usual, not wanting to go to bed on their own or having difficulty sleeping, says Boobier.

“They may want to avoid anything too ‘Christmassy’ like grottos or certain movies, and not talk about Santa. They may request stockings are not put in their room,” he adds.

Some children, on being faced with Santa, might become agitated and want to leave, adds Ling, who is a member of Hypnotherapy Directory. They might start crying or wet themselves if they are not taken out of the situation early enough.

If you’ve got this far, you’ve probably established that your child has a phobia of Santa – or at the very least, is uncomfortable by his presence. So what can you do about it?

Dos and don’ts for tackling Santaphobia

Do prepare your child for their trip to see Santa

Preparation is key ahead of a trip to see Father Christmas, says Claire Elmes. She recommends discussing what is likely to happen at the grotto and showing your child pictures of Santa ahead of it so they know and are prepared for what to expect.

“Explain that some children find him a bit scary and that’s ok, you will be with them and it is all safe,” she says. Sometimes it can be helpful to go with another child who is OK with Santa.

Don’t force them to sit on Santa’s lap

If you do get to the grotto and they become upset, don’t force them to sit on Saint Nick’s lap or have pictures taken, it’s not going to be enjoyable for the child or help their fear.

“Acknowledge their feelings,” suggests Elmes, “and accept they may not be ready. Gently encourage them to be a safe distance and observe others if possible.”

Boobier adds that parents might want to find other photo opportunities where their child can be themselves and be happy.

Don’t shame your child for being scared

Sometimes as parents it can be hard to put ourselves in our kids’ shoes and you might even tell your child to “stop being silly” because it’s “just Santa”. But Ling suggests this is unhelpful.

“Try to be encouraging, showing that other children are enjoying the experience and it’s just new for them,” she says.

Don’t make up stories about Santa to scare your child into behaving

Chris Boobier is also keen to convey that children begin to have awareness for make believe and reality between the ages of three and five, so anything up to the age of five could be completely real to them.

“The idea they are being watched and don’t want to be on the naughty list will feel very real,” he says. “Knowing to what depth our children believe this Christmas magic can help with pulling back on some on the ever-growing Christmas traditions we create (Elf on the Shelf, anyone?) and reduce the ongoing hype that Christmas has become.”

Elmes agrees: “As tempting as it is try not to use Santa as a bribe for being good (we’ve all been there!) telling children he is always watching can also be a bit scary.”

Do talk about their fears

Let your child tell you they are afraid of Santa and really listen to how they feel, allowing them time and space to explain why, suggest therapists.

“Whilst this can feel a bit sad for parents as they go to all the effort to make Christmas magical, listening and understanding how your child feels without dismissing their feelings is the key to helping your child cope at Christmas time,” Boobier adds.

“They may tell you what would feel better for them and some traditions could be altered as they grow up.”

Remember it probably won’t last forever

However you feel about your child’s response to Santa, Chris Boobier encourages parents to keep perspective: “Most children grow out of a fear for Santa past the age of five, depending on development progress, when they can confidently distinguish the difference between fantasy and reality – and they will become excited again about Santa Claus.”

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New Christmas Songs For 2022: Our Verdict

Pop fans – the time has come to start updating your Christmas playlists.

This year, we’ve really been spoilt, with some of the biggest names in music unveiling brand new festive offerings, including seasonal tunes from the likes of Lizzo, Sam Smith and Alicia Keys.

Fortunately for those who don’t feel like sifting through every single new song to sort out the “naughty” from the “nice”, we’ve done all the hard work for you.

Here’s our take on some of the biggest new Christmas releases for this year, starting with something very special indeed…

Lindsay Lohan – Jingle Bell Rock, feat. Ali Tomineek

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Oh, Santa has been good to us this year. Not only is 2022 the year we finally got a Lindsay Lohan comeback in the wonderfully cheesy Netflix original Falling For Christmas, it also came with a bonus stocking filler in the form of a new musical offering from the criminally-underrated artiste.

What’s more, the track is a cover of the festive staple Jingle Bell Rock, in a nod to one of the most iconic scenes of Lindsay’s signature film, Mean Girls.

All in all, we’re very much here for her take on Jingle Bell Rock, and we enjoy what the musical team did in terms of bringing the song up to date without taking it too far away from the original. Still, we have had to deduct marks for the completely unnecessary addition of a rap verse (a bit of digging reveals Ali Tomineek originally rose to prominence on the Netflix talent search Rhythm + Flow, which may well explain how he came to be on the track in the first place).

Sample lyric: What a bright time, it’s the right time to rock the night away.

Our rating: 🎄🎄🎄

Alicia Keys – December Back 2 June

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