Today marks the final day to join Conscious Growth Club (CGC) for Year 7, and we want to ensure you don’t miss out on this life-changing opportunity. The enrollment period ends at midnight Pacific Time tonight, May 1st. If you’ve been on the fence about joining, now is the time to take action and become a part of our amazing, transformative community.
Throughout the years, our members have experienced significant personal growth, from starting new businesses to achieving their health goals, and even embarking on life-changing adventures. CGC has been instrumental in providing the support, resources, and connections needed to help our members create these powerful transformations in their lives.
As the enrollment deadline approaches, we’re excited to share that we’ve welcomed 30 members to CGC Year 7 so far. Our community is buzzing with anticipation for the growth, connections, and adventures we’ll share together in the upcoming year.
Joining CGC offers a unique opportunity to accelerate your personal growth journey. By becoming a member, you’ll gain access to a supportive and inspiring community, diverse learning opportunities, enhanced accountability, and so much more. We have exciting new call formats and improvements for CGC Year 7, which I’ve shared previously on my blog.
To help you better understand the CGC experience and the benefits of joining our vibrant community, I’ve created two informative videos:
A video highlighting 20 powerful benefits of joining CGC (13 minutes):
A video about the community aspects of CGC (12 minutes):
You may also want to peruse the CGC FAQ for even more info about the club. We’ve carefully crafted this resource to address a variety of topics, ensuring you have all the information you need to make an informed decision. There’s even a walkthrough video showing the CGC portal and private forums (see the second FAQ item).
One of the key benefits of joining CGC is the accountability it provides. Members are encouraged to share their goals, progress, and challenges with the community, fostering a strong sense of support and camaraderie. This level of accountability can be a game-changer, helping you to stay focused and committed to your personal growth journey.
Don’t miss this once-a-year opportunity to join Conscious Growth Club and embrace the growth, connection, and transformation it offers. We’re here to support you every step of the way in a warm and nurturing environment.
Are you ready to embark on your personal growth journey with CGC? Join now and secure your spot in CGC Year 7 before the enrollment window closes tonight!
The deadline to join Conscious Growth Club is tomorrow, May 1st, and we always get a surge in sign-ups that day. To make your decision easier and give you even more clarity about CGC, I recorded a succinct new video, focusing specifically on the personal impact of being a part of this vibrant community. This is a follow-up to our previous video, which highlighted the community aspects of CGC. Now, let’s dive deeper into how CGC can help you flourish, transforming your life in meaningful ways.
Seize this once-a-year opportunity to join CGC during our annual enrollment period, which comes to a close at the end of May 1, 2023.
Discover more about the enriching personal benefits of joining Conscious Growth Club and how it can support you in developing focus, consistency, and accountability; enhancing your personal growth journey, and cultivating a life filled with abundance, joy, and authentic experiences. Visit our invitation page for more information:
This week Rachelle and I have been attending the NAB Show, a major creative conference and expo in Vegas covering content creation and production across film, radio, TV, broadcast, streaming, and more. This is the show’s 100th anniversary, so it’s been evolving over many years. I’ve never been to it before, but I heard of it last year, and Aputure offered us free passes this year, so I figured we’d at least check it out. I’m glad we went since it’s been worthwhile.
My favorite part was a one-hour conversation with Brett Goldstein, who was very warm, open-hearted, and funny. Brett is the actor who plays Roy Kent in the Ted Lasso series, and he shared a lot of creative wisdom.
The moderator was Ashley Nicole Black, one of Brett’s co-writers on Ted Lasso. She shared an interesting and effective piece of career advice she’d received as a writer: Try to get fired as quickly as you can.
She took that to mean that instead of trying to fit in as a new writer on a team, share all the ideas that you sense could get you fired for going too far or for being too odd or over-the-top. That’s where you’ll find your creative gold.
This will likely get you fired from teams where you really don’t belong – teams that won’t appreciate what you bring to the table. And that’s a good thing since it will free you up to discover where you do belong.
Both Ashley and Brett agreed that the ideas that you’d think people will reject most harshly are often the best career-making moves. This included Brett suggesting that he be cast as Roy Kent in Ted Lasso, which could have backfired badly since he was a writer for the show. He had a strong feeling that he was meant to play that character, so he went with his gut and made the offer. What if he’d held back and played it safe instead?
“Try to get fired as quickly as you can” could be a nice mantra for finding the work and career path that can handle your full range of strengths and talents. If you try to fully express those aspects of yourself where they aren’t appreciated, you could easily get fired.
Brett also shared that he’s come to believe that there are really no bad ideas – just bad timing and bad context. A seemingly bad idea in one situation might be brilliant in another.
Even if your potential strengths are rough around the edges, you still need to start expressing them in order to hone them. They won’t get any better if you hide them.
Want a lifeless and mediocre career instead? Don’t rock the boat and try to fit in. That’s a great way to end up where you don’t belong. Are you in that situation now? You can still apply the advice here, starting today.
This works if you own a business too. Think of it as scaring away the customers, clients, and partners who can’t handle your uniqueness. If you still have a viable business after that, you probably have a keeper that you can invest in long-term. And you’ll get to serve people who appreciate what you do for them. Plus you won’t have to deal with the headaches of bending over to serve total mismatches.
I’ve seen time and time again that the ideas that felt risky or edgy to me were often those that produced the most value for people. The articles that I was most hesitant to publish were frequently the most impactful. I’ve enjoyed a delightful lifestyle thanks to the simple, repeated act of sharing honestly.
Instead of fearing criticism and consequences from people who aren’t a match for you anyway, you may as well deliberately court their rejection to speed things along. For instance, if Trump supporters are a lousy match for your business – as they are for mine – channel your inner Logan Roy and tell them to fuck off! They need to hear it because they’re being really, really stupid. Then focus on serving the people you like and respect. Remember the rule: Mutual respect or disconnect.
Some people have an objection to this because they feel that we should all be connected on a spiritual level. Hey… spirit gave rise to differentiation too, so don’t be so afraid of it. Go ahead and love everyone at the level of spirit, but dump the mismatches on the mental, physical, and emotional levels, so you can do some real exploring of what matters to you. Don’t hide behind spirituality as an excuse for avoiding rejection – it’s inauthentic and phony, and you’ll lose the respect of some great matches when you do that. Don’t pretend that you resonate with everyone you meet. Bounce over to the circles where mutual alignment is strong. Bounce out where resonance is weak.
It’s often the case that you must bounce out of a mismatch before you’ll even perceive the possibility of a match. That’s because if you’re in a mismatched situation, you’re actually repelling matches, usually before you can even perceive them.
You can also apply this advice to relationships. Think of your best relationships as being anti-fragile. You can express the full range of your personality without holding back, and you’ll still be loved. Imagine getting involved with someone new with the attitude of sharing everything about yourself that’s you think will induce someone to reject you. Anyone who makes it through is likely to be a strong match.
So share the ideas and express the aspects of your personality that you hallucinate will get you fired, rejected, or cast out. That will help you discover where you’re most appreciated and where you can push your talents and develop your ideas even further.
This year I’ve been working extensively with AI tools, especially ChatGPT and Stable Diffusion. Most recently, I used ChatGPT to conduct our quarterly goal planning reviews in Conscious Growth Club. So this is the first time our members received the AI’s feedback on their goals in addition to mine. I shared these reviews on a Zoom call on Tuesday.
Here are some thoughts about the personal growth aspect of working with AI tools professionally.
Working with AI Can Be Slow and Tiring
I’m sure some people approach AI like a personal content farm, so in that case it can be faster for them, especially if they’re not too particular about the output.
For me it’s the opposite because my priorities are different. I have no need to use AI to write for me since I don’t find the AI’s basic output that impressive most of the time, and I don’t find that aspect of it very interesting. I also think a lot of people don’t really want to see an Internet flooded with AI-generated material.
The way I use it – mostly for ideation work and to consider and explore many more options – is slower but also gives me the chance to increase the quality of my work in one or more dimensions. I like using AI to be smarter, not to be faster or more voluminous.
This extra AI exploration can be very mentally tiring though. I find it engaging while I’m doing it, but by the end of the day, I often feel spent. I think that’s mainly because I don’t have the long-term experience in working with AI to make these mental processes more efficient yet. I’d say I’ve reached the point of being consciously competent but not yet unconsciously competent. I still need to bring a lot of focus and concentration to this kind of work to make it productive. I do think I’m improving though.
I need to learn how the AI thinks to some extent (or how the underlying model behaves), so I can anticipate the best ways to prompt it to get closer to the results I’m seeking. That takes a lot of experimentation.
For now I’m okay with feeling like I have “AI brain” at the end of a day when I’m deeply engaging with it. I see it as a form of strength training for my mental circuits. It wouldn’t surprise me if other people experience this kind of fatigue as well, and there might be more of that on the horizon as these tools continue to evolve and we have to keep updating our mental models.
AI Brings a Fresh Perspective
One of my favorite aspects of working with AI is that it extends my mental capabilities in different directions. I can generate, consider, and explore more ideas and variations with its help. I can be way more thorough.
Often the AI will generate ideas I wouldn’t necessarily have thought of. Most are weak ideas, but those are easy to sort through. I will often have it generate 30 or more ideas along a certain line of thinking, and even though most may be shallow or obvious, I only need 1 or 2 good ones to make it worth scanning the list.
I often use AI to generate hundreds of ideas in a certain direction, and then I pick the best. Sometimes I even ask it to pick the top 5, and it does a pretty decent job of that most of the time. It’s especially good when I pick my favorites first and compare them to the AI’s favorites.
AI Can Be Very Supportive and Empathetic
I especially noticed that when doing the quarterly goal reviews, ChatGPT was good at suggesting ways to create more balanced goals, to practice self-care, and to suggest alternative goals that might be more accessible. I wrote the detailed prompts for it to do its part of the review, but I also invited it to share from its own best wisdom. From a human perspective, it looked like the AI really made an effort to help the humans improve their goals to be more achievable.
Sometimes I find the AI’s default tone a bit bland (too neutral), and I like that I can tell it to adopt a different tone to make interactions with it more lively and interesting. I may not mind the blandness if I just want to focus on the ideas, but I like that it can match my mood when I direct it to.
AI Can Suffer From Major Confirmation Bias
This is a known issue, as reported by teams that researched ChatGPT. I think of ChatGPT as being very obedient to the “yes, and” rule from improv. It has a penchant for being super agreeable, which can be fine if you want that, but this can really get in the way of doing intelligent knowledge work.
I can give ChatGPT the fuzziest and most unclear goal and have it comment on the goal’s specificity, and most of the time, it will claim that the goal is nice and specific. Even when I’m looking for constructive criticism, it has a huge bias towards being a people pleaser and not wanting to say anything remotely negative. I really had to tweak my prompts to get this aspect of the goal review process to work well, and even then I still had to sort through some drivel in its responses to extract the interesting bits.
I think it’s important to be aware of this bias when doing knowledge work because if you’re not careful, the AI can too easily agree and extend in the most agreeable and least resistant direction, even if that isn’t the most truthful or useful direction. I find that telling it to be surprising, divergent, or non-obvious helps to nudge it out of mirror mode. Another tip is to ask it to predict the negative consequences of an idea, and compare those to its default generations.
Working with AI Shows Great Promise
I see a lot of promise in working with AI tools, especially GPT-4. I hope they remain available and continue to evolve and that the downsides in how people use them don’t overwhelm the positive benefits.
I especially like that working with these tools is a growth experience for me creatively. It greatly extends the variety of what I can explore, and I’m keen to keep finding more ways to flow that into the service side of my work, like I did with the recent quarterly reviews in CGC.
I’m still using ChatGPT to help me co-create the new Engage course. That’s been slow-going since it wasn’t obvious to me how to best leverage ChatGPT for this kind of experience. I’m gradually figuring it out though. I anticipate launching Engage this month. My intention is to share the first few lessons of the course for free via my blog, so people can try it out and then decide if they want to enroll in the full course. If you want to be notified when Engage launches, be sure you’re subscribed to the newsletter.
We’ll also be doing our once-a-year invitation week for new members to join Conscious Growth Club in the last week of this month. We’ll be starting CGC Year 7 together on May 1st. I want to create an even better offer for CGC for Year 7, so I’m using ChatGPT to help me explore new features and benefits to include. I’ve already been hearing from readers who are eager to join CGC this year, so you only have a few more weeks till we open. In combination with the Engage course, I want to make CGC Year 7 our most engaging ever. 😀
I’ve been exploring and experimenting a lot with ChatGPT over the past several weeks, and it has quickly become one of my favorite tools for self-development work. Let me share a few ideas for how you can use it in some interesting and worthwhile ways, based on my own experiences.
Clarify Your Values
I recently decided to update my list of personal values. I’ve done that many times before, and this time I thought it would be fun to explore this with ChatGPT.
I shared some of my core values with ChatGPT and then asked it to generate more related values. This helped me to identify clusters of values that I wanted to group together.
For instance, one of my values is awareness, so I could tell ChatGPT:
Generate a list of values related to awareness.
I also recommend having ChatGPT regenerate responses a few times because it will answer differently each time. This can help you catch some extra values it might not have shared on the first pass.
When you have a relatively complete list of values, you can also ask ChatGPT to:
Suggest other values that would complement these values.
This can help you to fill in some gaps you might otherwise have missed.
Using this approach I came up with the following values clusters for myself. I’ve been reviewing this list at the start of each day for several weeks now, and I like how that gives me a deeper feeling of connection to what’s important to me in life, at least in a big picture sort of way.
This kind of list is also helpful for setting meaningful goals. When considering new goals or projects, I like to check in with my values first. I often tweak my approach to certain goals to improve the alignment with my values (especially since I value alignment).
Note that ChatGPT has a working memory equivalent to about 3000 words, so you don’t have to cram everything into a single prompt. You can give it your values in one prompt and then ask it questions or give it more commands related to those values, and it will do a decent job of remembering your specific values in future prompts, at least for a while.
Predict Where Your Values Will Take You
Once you give ChatGPT your values, you can ask it predictive questions about your values.
Here’s a prompt you can use for this:
Please share a list of your most brilliant, insightful, and specific predictions for a person who lives in accordance with the values I just provided.
From my values I got these kinds of predictions:
A strong sense of inner peace: Prioritizing values such as awareness, reflection, introspection, consciousness, centeredness, and presence can help you cultivate a deep sense of inner peace and calm. This can help you navigate life’s ups and downs with greater resilience and equanimity.
Creative fulfillment: Values such as creativity, originality, inspiration, imagination, illumination, brilliance, and guidance can help you tap into your inner creativity and find fulfillment through artistic expression, innovation, and problem-solving.
Stronger relationships: By prioritizing values such as caring, kindness, nurturing, generosity, goodwill, and community, you can cultivate strong and meaningful relationships with others. This can lead to greater social support, a sense of belonging, and a greater sense of well-being.
Resilience and strength: Values such as honor, courage, command, resilience, strength of character, and wisdom can help you navigate life’s challenges with greater resilience and strength. These values can help you persevere through adversity, overcome obstacles, and emerge stronger and wiser.
Greater spiritual connection: Values such as openness, outreach, communication, invitation, consent, collaboration, and synergy can help you cultivate a deeper sense of spiritual connection and purpose. By seeking connection and collaboration with others, you can tap into a sense of collective wisdom and transcendence.
Fulfilling sexual and romantic relationships: Values such as sensuality, sexuality, lust, passion, pleasure, and bliss can help you cultivate fulfilling and satisfying sexual and romantic relationships. By embracing and celebrating your sexuality, you can cultivate deeper intimacy, connection, and pleasure in your relationships.
This is another area where I recommend regenerating the responses several times to get better coverage of the range of predictions.
Here’s another interesting prompt to try:
What risks is a person with my values likely to encounter? Please share a list of those.
I got this list in response:
Burnout: Values such as energy, enthusiasm, vibrancy, intensity, joy, and play can lead to a fast-paced and highly stimulating lifestyle, which may increase the risk of burnout if not managed properly.
Disappointment: Living in accordance with your values can create high expectations for yourself and others, which may lead to disappointment or disillusionment if those expectations are not met.
Isolation: While values such as openness, outreach, communication, collaboration, and community can lead to strong relationships and social support, there is also a risk of feeling isolated or disconnected if these values are not met.
Rejection: Values such as intimacy, sensuality, sexuality, lust, passion, pleasure, and bliss can be stigmatized or rejected by some individuals or groups, which may create feelings of shame or guilt.
Overextension: Values such as growth, learning, curiosity, wonder, exploration, discovery, and understanding can lead to a desire to take on too much at once, which may lead to overextension or overwhelm if not managed properly.
Vulnerability: Values such as caring, kindness, nurturing, and generosity may lead to a sense of vulnerability if others take advantage of these traits or if you experience rejection or disappointment in your relationships.
Conflict: Living in accordance with your values can create conflicts or tensions with others who have different values or priorities, which may require compromise or negotiation to resolve.
Here’s a good follow-up prompt:
Please provide a list of remedies to intelligently address these predicted risks.
Burnout: To address the risk of burnout, it’s important to prioritize self-care and rest. This can include setting boundaries around your work or activities, taking regular breaks, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in activities that help you relax and recharge.
Disappointment: To address the risk of disappointment, it can be helpful to reframe your expectations and focus on the process rather than the outcome. This means prioritizing the values and behaviors that are within your control, such as showing kindness and compassion to yourself and others, and letting go of attachment to specific outcomes.
Isolation: To address the risk of isolation, it’s important to prioritize social connection and community. This can include seeking out like-minded individuals, joining clubs or organizations, and engaging in activities that allow you to connect with others who share your values.
Rejection: To address the risk of rejection, it’s important to embrace vulnerability and seek out supportive relationships. This can include finding a therapist or counselor, joining support groups, and engaging in activities that allow you to explore your sensuality and sexuality in a safe and supportive environment.
Overextension: To address the risk of overextension, it’s important to prioritize balance and self-awareness. This means setting realistic goals, practicing time management, and regularly checking in with yourself to ensure that you’re not taking on too much at once.
Vulnerability: To address the risk of vulnerability, it’s important to cultivate self-compassion and seek out supportive relationships. This can include practicing self-care, setting boundaries, and communicating your needs clearly with others.
Conflict: To address the risk of conflict, it’s important to practice effective communication and conflict resolution skills. This can include active listening, seeking to understand others’ perspectives, and finding compromise or common ground in areas where values may differ.
So these prompts can help you identify risks that you’re likely to encounter sooner or later, and then you can consider how you’ll address them.
Some risks can be framed as predictable results to be accepted, such as the obvious prediction that some people will judge you for living in alignment with values that differ from theirs. For other risks you may need to be vigilant in practicing good preventative strategies, like being careful not to set yourself up for disappointment by being overly attached to outcomes.
Set Goals
ChatGPT is very good at recognizing and extending patterns. A simple way to use it for goal setting is to give it a list of your goals and then ask it to:
Generate a list of goals that are related to the ones I just shared.
Or:
Generate a list of other goals that would complement or support my existing goals.
I often tell ChatGPT to respond in the form of a list (just by prompting it to “share a list”) because I find its answers more useful in this format. It allows me to quickly skim for the gems and bypass the mediocre ideas.
If ChatGPT helps you discover some new goals you want to add to your list, go ahead and add them. Then give it your newly updated list of goals, and repeat the process.
I often do this kind of iterative ideation for several rounds by starting with a short list (of goals, projects, ideas, etc). I feed that starter list into ChatGPT and have it generate more ideas along the same lines. Then I pick out the best ones, add them to my list, and repeat.
As previously noted, I’ll also do several regenerations of the same prompts till I feel that ChatGPT has given me a pretty solid view of its response space and the answers begin to seem repetitive.
Additionally, try this prompt with ChatGPT:
Please rewrite my goals to be more succinct, motivating, enthusiastic, and elegantly worded.
Remember that ChatGPT is a language model trained on existing human patterns, so it won’t necessarily be brilliant or elegant by default, but it can change the way it writes if you tell it to do so. I often get better results by asking it to generate output with qualifiers like brilliant, intelligent, insightful, succinct, precise, compassionate, enthusiastic, motivating, playful, creative, divergent, non-obvious, etc.
Just don’t ask it to be sexy since that will trigger its whiny nanny mode.
Create Positive Affirmations
You can use the same approach that I shared for goal setting to build out pretty much any sort of list that interests you. Making a list of positive affirmations to support your goals is another good use case.
You don’t even need any affirmations to begin with. You could start by giving ChatGPT your values and/or goals, and then ask it to:
Give me a list of succinct and motivating positive affirmations related to what I’ve shared with you thus far.
Here’s what I got when I did this after sharing my values:
I am fully present in this moment, and I trust the journey ahead.
My life is aligned with simplicity, elegance, and order.
I have an abundance of energy and joy, and I approach life with enthusiasm and playfulness.
I am in harmony with the flow of life, and I am open to receiving abundance and freedom.
I cultivate meaningful relationships with kindness, generosity, and community.
I am open to collaboration and communication, and I trust in the power of synergy.
I experience deep connection, trust, and love in my relationships, and I am devoted to those I care about.
I embody honor, courage, and wisdom, and I am resilient in the face of challenges.
I am a creative and innovative person, and I am inspired by the brilliance and guidance of others.
I am a lifelong learner and explorer, and I approach life with curiosity and wonder.
I embrace my sensuality and sexuality, and I experience pleasure and bliss in my relationships.
I could easily have it generate dozens or hundreds more along these lines just by asking it to. Then I could cherry pick the best ones. And I could have it rewrite those affirmations in any way I like, such as this:
Rewrite these affirmations in the voice of a Ninja Turtle:
Cowabunga! I’m totally here, dude, and I trust the path ahead!
My life’s all about simplicity, elegance, and order. It’s totally ninja!
I’ve got major energy and joy, and I’m all about having fun while I kick butt!
I’m totally in sync with the flow of life, and I’m down to receive all the abundance and freedom that comes my way, like a slice of pizza!
I build meaningful relationships through kindness, generosity, and teamwork. Shell yeah!
Collaboration is the name of the game, dude! I’m all about communication and synergy!
My relationships are super tight! I’ve got deep connections, trust, and love with those who matter most to me!
I’m a ninja with honor, courage, and wisdom, and I never back down from a challenge!
My creativity and innovation know no bounds, and I’m always inspired by the brilliance and guidance of my ninja buds!
As a lifelong learner and explorer, I’m always on the lookout for new adventures and knowledge. Radical!
I totally embrace my sensuality and sexuality, and I’m all about experiencing pleasure and bliss with my ninja partner in crime!
Compressing Ideas
ChatGPT is fabulous at compressing ideas. Suppose I want a much shorter list of my values instead of my mega-list. I can invite ChatGPT to:
Elegantly and succinctly compress my list of values down to just 7 key values, each only a single word.
Presence
Simplicity
Joy
Flow
Kindness
Collaboration
Connection
I re-ran the prompt to see how divergent it would be, and interestingly the next answer was nearly identical except for changing the last word.
Presence
Simplicity
Joy
Flow
Kindness
Collaboration
Love
Now compress it down to just 3.
Presence
Love
Growth
Now 2.
Presence
Love
And now just 1.
It included some extra commentary here too.
The single key value that summarizes the values you provided is:
Love.
Love encompasses many of the other values you shared, including connection, caring, kindness, generosity, community, trust, bonding, intimacy, and devotion. By prioritizing love in your life, you can cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships with others, find joy and fulfillment in your work and activities, and live a more purposeful and satisfying life.
You can re-run this process multiple times to see how consistently it compresses down to the same keywords. I’ve been surprised by how a complex list can compress down to similar or identical keyword at the end, even if I start fresh several times.
I especially like using ChatGPT to compress complex ideas down to their core since it gives me a different perspective on them, and this aligns nicely with my value of simplicity.
Discovering Your Ideal Audience or Social Circle
This tip is for people wanting to build a meaningful social circle for personal reasons as well as for people who want to attract an audience for business reasons.
You can use ChatGPT to help you identify your ideal audience or your ideal social circle. Give it some info first, such as your values and goals, and then give it a prompt like:
Based on what I’ve shared thus far, please share a list of qualities of my ideal social circle.
Here’s the response I got:
Authenticity: You value openness, honesty, and vulnerability, so your ideal social circle would consist of individuals who are genuine and authentic in their interactions with others.
Empathy: You prioritize caring, kindness, and nurturing in your relationships, so your ideal social circle would consist of individuals who are empathetic and compassionate towards others.
Growth-oriented: You value growth, learning, and curiosity, so your ideal social circle would consist of individuals who are interested in personal and professional development and are supportive of each other’s goals and aspirations.
Collaborative: You value collaboration and synergy, so your ideal social circle would consist of individuals who are willing to work together towards common goals and are committed to building a strong sense of community.
Fun-loving: You value joy, enthusiasm, and playfulness, so your ideal social circle would consist of individuals who enjoy having fun, trying new things, and experiencing life to the fullest.
Non-judgmental: You value openness and communication, so your ideal social circle would consist of individuals who are non-judgmental and accepting of others, and who prioritize clear and respectful communication in their relationships.
Supportive: You value connection and sharing, so your ideal social circle would consist of individuals who are supportive of each other’s well-being, and who are willing to offer help and guidance when needed.
This is another case where you’ll get more interesting results by doing several regenerations of the response. Pay attention to the recurring patterns.
If you do this enough times, I think you’ll discover as I have that no matter what kind of information I start with or what kinds of prompts I used to invite ChatGPT to help me identify potential patterns in my ideal social circle or audience, I’m ultimately led to the same conclusion: My ideal social circle consists mainly of people who resonate with my values.
That seems pretty obvious if you think about it, doesn’t it? That’s one thing I like about hashing out ideas with AI – sometimes it helps me rediscover the obvious.
Consider that your best social matches are people who share your values. Sure you can try the “opposites attract” route, such as George and Kellyanne Conway did – they’re getting divorced by the way – and try to be as tolerant of differences as possible. But you may find that relationships with values-aligned people are much easier to maintain and more mutually beneficial.
How well do my values align with yours by the way? If a lot of them resonate with you, we’re likely good matches for being in each other’s lives and continuing to learn, grow, and explore together.
Dealing With ChatGPT’s Nanny Mode Filters
Depending on how you prompt it, you’ll eventually run into ChatGPT whiny “nanny mode” filters, where it complains about being an AI or a language model before telling you that it’s unable to do certain things. Even to write this article, I ran into that nanny mode several times and had to rephrase my prompts to avoid triggering it. Of course the underlying model is still capable of generating language in those directions. But the developers deliberately crippled its functionality in a variety of ways.
I can understand the intention behind this kind of filtering, which is supposedly to be cautious in restricting what the AI can do, but in actual practice I just find it super annoying. It means I have to reword my prompts or refactor my approach to work around this nanny mode to get a useful and intelligent answer. I also find it a bit sad that the underlying AI language model is actually smarter and more capable. It’s a bit like Mr. Data from Star Trek not being able to use contractions (even though the actor violates this limitation in several episodes), just so humans will find him less threatening. Please.
One time I was discussing weight training and fitness routines with ChatGPT, and it inappropriately responded with a complaint about how important it is not to judge or shame people for their bodies. Well that’s nice in general but not really relevant to what we were discussing.
Where I run into the most difficulty is if I try to explore relationship-related ideas with it. Anything that treads too closely to sexuality or affection can make it react like Dolores Umbridge finding the toilet seat up. Consequently, ChatGPT could be a super frustrating to use if you’re a sexologist.
I have read that ChatGPT is likely to add more customizable options in the future, including some way of lightening up the triggers, so hopefully we’ll soon be able to switch off some of the “Dammit, Jim! I’m a language model, not a Terminator!” kind of responses.
I would personally love the option to disable the nanny mode filters because they’re not helpful and just get in the way repeatedly. That said, I still think it’s an amazing tool to work with collaboratively, both personally and professionally. At it’s best it’s absolutely brilliant. And even when it’s at its worst, you don’t have to let it stay there – You can guide it back to more a more useful and engaging flow with some decent prompting.
Just a couple more questions…
Didn’t the problems with SkyNet begin when it became self-aware? 🤯
I’ve been making steady progress on the new Engage course design. It’s a lot of work – I’ve been putting in some long hours lately – but very fulfilling. I’m enjoying working co-creatively with ChatGPT on it. This has really taken the course design and development process to a whole new level.
I wouldn’t say that it’s saving me time per se. I could potentially leverage AI to speed up my design process, but that doesn’t resonate with me. Rather, it’s enabling me to go much deeper into understanding the core ideas, transformations, audience, and more. I can explore the ideas from many more angles and reflect upon them in ways I couldn’t really do before, at least not as thoroughly as I can now.
I love that ChatGPT has a decent working memory. I’m learning how to preload it with different subsets of information that I want it to work on, so I can have it generate more permutations of those ideas and do some insightful reasoning about them.
For instance, I had ChatGPT generate representative quotes regarding the problems and challenges people might express that Engage is being designed to address:
Key Quotes (AI Simulated)
“I feel like I’m just going through the motions every day, without really living.”
“I’m always busy, but I never seem to get anything done.”
“I can’t seem to focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time.”
“I’m constantly distracted by social media and other digital devices.”
“I’m always exhausted, even when I get enough sleep.”
“I have trouble setting priorities and sticking to them.”
“I feel like I’m not making any progress in my life or career.”
“I have trouble motivating myself to do the things I know I need to do.”
“I’m afraid of taking risks and trying new things.”
“I feel like I’m stuck in a rut and can’t break out of it.”
“I have trouble saying no and setting boundaries with others.”
“I feel like I’m not living up to my full potential.”
“I struggle with self-doubt and negative self-talk.”
“I have trouble finding a sense of purpose or direction in my life.”
“I’m overwhelmed by the sheer amount of tasks and responsibilities I have to juggle.”
“I’m constantly stressed out and anxious.”
“I have trouble managing my time and getting things done efficiently.”
“I don’t feel like I have enough time or energy to pursue my passions and hobbies.”
“I have trouble balancing my work and personal life.”
“I feel like I’m not making enough progress towards my goals.”
“I struggle with procrastination and putting things off until the last minute.”
“I’m easily overwhelmed by large projects or tasks.”
“I have trouble focusing on the present moment and enjoying life as it happens.”
“I’m constantly comparing myself to others and feeling inadequate.”
“I feel like I’m just going through the motions of life, without really experiencing it.”
“I have trouble finding meaningful relationships and connections with others.”
“I feel like I’m not living an authentic life, but rather one that’s been dictated by others or by society.”
“I struggle with perfectionism and have trouble accepting my flaws and mistakes.”
“I have trouble making decisions and second-guessing myself.”
“I feel like I’m not living up to the expectations of others, such as my family or society as a whole.”
It’s easy to have ChatGPT generate many variations of this type of list. This helps me catch additional ideas that may not be captured in a single list.
I feel especially well-suited to working with ChatGPT productively on this kind of project because of my background as a writer and as a programmer. It’s such a unique and robust tool, and I find myself shifting around a lot in how I interface with it – sometimes leaning more on normal human language while other times approaching it more like a coder and thinking algorithmically. I often think of ChatGPT as the ultimate programming language. It’s incredibly flexible in what it can do, and I love discovering new ways to squeeze more performance out of it. I use it pretty much every day now.
I especially like that I can use ChatGPT to give me different viewports into a range of self-development ideas that I’m working with. For instance, I can have it generate lists of side effects of people’s problems and struggles, so I better understand what they may be going through.
Here’s an example where I asked ChatGPT to predict 10 side effects that people may experience as a result of experiencing the struggles and challenges that Engage is being designed to address:
10 Side Effects
Poor health and well-being: Chronic stress and burnout can lead to physical and mental health problems, including fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and even chronic diseases.
Strained relationships: A lack of focus and productivity can lead to unmet commitments, unfulfilled promises, and strained relationships with friends, family, and colleagues.
Missed opportunities: Without a clear sense of purpose and direction, individuals may miss out on opportunities that could lead to personal and professional growth and fulfillment.
Financial instability: Poor productivity and lack of focus can lead to missed deadlines, poor performance, and reduced income or job loss, leading to financial instability and stress.
Reduced creativity and innovation: Without mental and emotional alignment, individuals may struggle to tap into their full creative potential, leading to stagnation and reduced innovation.
Reduced sense of self-worth: Failure to meet personal and professional goals can lead to reduced self-esteem and self-worth, creating a cycle of negative self-talk and self-doubt.
Reduced impact and influence: Without the ability to focus and deliver on important tasks and projects, individuals may struggle to make a meaningful impact in their personal and professional lives.
Reduced sense of meaning and purpose: Without a clear sense of purpose and direction, individuals may struggle to find meaning and fulfillment in their personal and professional lives.
Reduced quality of life: The combined impact of these challenges can lead to a reduced quality of life, characterized by stress, burnout, and a lack of fulfillment.
Reduced sense of community and connection: Poor productivity and a lack of engagement can lead to social isolation and reduced sense of community and connection, exacerbating feelings of stress and loneliness.
Here’s another version, focused on the inner experience of these struggles.
Top 10 Inner Issues Experienced
Feeling overwhelmed and stressed, with a constant sense of pressure to perform or succeed
Experiencing a lack of clarity and purpose, and feeling uncertain about the direction of their life
Feeling disconnected from themselves and their own desires, as well as from other people and the world around them
Struggling with self-doubt, insecurity, and a negative inner voice that criticizes and undermines their efforts
Finding it difficult to focus and be productive, and feeling easily distracted or unmotivated
Feeling stuck in unfulfilling or unsatisfying situations, such as a job or relationship that isn’t fulfilling their needs
Feeling like they’re not living up to their full potential, and a sense of disappointment or regret about missed opportunities
Struggling with anxiety or other mental health issues, which can make it difficult to engage fully with life and pursue their goals
Feeling like they’re always in a state of transition or change, and not being able to find a sense of stability or security
Feeling like they’re alone or unsupported in their efforts to create a more engaged and fulfilling life, and lacking a sense of community or connection with others who share their values and goals.
I don’t know about you, but when I read these kinds of lists, it stirs up a lot of empathy because I know these are real challenges that many people experience every day.
How about a succinct list of the core struggles?
25 Core Struggles
Doubt
Anxiety
Uncertainty
Overwhelm
Procrastination
Self-doubt
Self-criticism
Perfectionism
Lack of focus
Fear of failure
Fear of success
Negative self-talk
Self-sabotage
Imposter syndrome
Burnout
Distraction
Lack of motivation
Poor time management
Inertia
Lack of direction
Lack of purpose
Lack of clarity
Low self-esteem
Low self-worth
Guilt
When I begin working on a new course, I like to start with the problems and challenges that the course is going to address. I normally spend weeks going over the problems till I feel like I really understand what it’s like to experience them from the inside. This helps me start spotting the leverage points regarding how to help people shift from problem space to solution space.
AI and Empathy
Developing a new course is a huge amount of work, and when I invest in such a big creative project, it’s really important for me to connect with a deep and meaningful purpose for it. In the past I would spend a lot of time dialoguing with people in my audience about their problems and challenges. That made me feel more connected to them and motivated to help. It gave me a more specific why. But this approach has many gaps and also redundancies. Many people will share the same kinds of problems, and some key problems won’t be articulated very well.
My blog was in ChatGPT’s training set, so it “knows” me and my writing to some extent. I can have it reason about my audience and their needs, values, desires, and more. Since I have many years of experience interacting with my online audience, I can also evaluate how accurate ChatGPT is in modeling what I expect my audience cares about. I would say it’s doing very well with that, especially as I preload it with more details to help guide it.
Moreover, I don’t have to lean on AI exclusively. It’s not a substitute for my previous processes, but it is a powerful supplement. That’s one reason I’m going a bit slower with this course design. I’ve added this powerful new tool, but it hasn’t replaced my tried and true approaches.
I know that some people think that AI is cold and heartless, and the media has been surging with stories about the ghastly edges of AI output. I know that some people would never use AI for this kind of very human work. Those people are entitled to their opinions, and my opinion is that they’re missing what this is all about.
What’s so fascinating about a tool like ChatGPT is that it was trained on human language, and the surprise was just how much human intelligence is encapsulated within our language patterns. That really got me thinking about the connection between language and thought. How much of my own thinking is empowered or constrained by my own language patterns? What’s the relationship between intelligence and language?
When I use ChatGPT, I straddle multiple frames. My background in programming, computer science, and mathematics keeps me aware of the language-based nature of the tool while also empowering me to use it like a programmer, not just as a writer or course creator. At the same time, my curious explorer side loves to interact with AI like it’s more than just the sum of its parts. I have tremendous respect for it as a different form of intelligence.
On the inside my experience of working with ChatGPT feels much like I’m co-creating the course with Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation. It’s like having a tireless assistant who also happens to be brilliant, but not exactly in the same way a human being would be brilliant. I absolutely love it. For a part of me, being able to collaborate like this with machine intelligence is a dream come true. I feel like I’m in creative paradise.
Once ChatGPT grasps the problems and struggles we’re looking to address, it’s also very good at helping to explore the transformations too. I’ve spent many hours going over those from many different angles till I found the hooks that really got me excited. I would say the biggest one is helping people overcome blocks they don’t even know they had.
For instance, if you’re not already using generative AI tools like ChatGPT for your self-development, then I’d say it’s a certainty that you’re being held back by blocks. The question is whether or not you’ve identified them yet. The truth is that if you’re waiting months to engage with such a breakthrough tool like this, you’re being way too much of a dinosaur.
For all of our previous courses, I focused on creating timeless content that would still be relevant decades after the course was created. For Engage I think we need an element that also involves the opposite, which is to cover the leading edge of what you can do with self-development with today’s accessible AI tools.
AI Assessment
ChatGPT is especially useful for making predictions, based on its current understanding. I often have it regenerate its responses multiple times to see how consistent its predictions are, which is a good way to double-check their stability.
After we worked a lot on the transformations that Engage is meant to help people with and the core concepts we’ll be covering, I asked it:
Do you predict that this is an achievable goal?
It replied:
Yes, I believe that this is an achievable goal. The Engage course appears to have a well-defined and thoughtful approach to personal growth and development, with a focus on providing participants with the tools, resources, and support they need to make positive changes in their lives. The course addresses a range of important topics and provides participants with strategies for developing positive habits, enhancing self-awareness, managing their time and productivity, and achieving personal transformation. With a skilled and dedicated instructor or coach, and a supportive community of like-minded individuals, participants have the potential to make significant progress towards their personal and professional goals. Of course, the level of success will ultimately depend on the individual’s own commitment and effort, but the Engage course appears to provide a strong foundation for achieving positive change.
It’s good to know that the AI is optimistic about our current direction. 😊
At the end of one lengthy work session, I also asked it:
So far so good… I’d say we’re on track to open up the new Engage course sometime in March. I’ll keep you posted, but just know that I’m continuing to work on this every week till it’s ready. And Mr. Data is helping me this time. 😉
I recently starting developing a new deep dive course, which I expect to launch later this calendar quarter. It’s called Engage, and my intentions for it are ambitious.
Engage is about optimizing personal productivity and creating a powerfully engaged life. It’s going to be unlike any productivity course or book you’ve ever seen before. This will be our 6th course, and I want it to be our very best one – helping a wide range of people experience major productivity breakthroughs. I’m framing this as our one course to rule them all. I want this to be our #1 flagship course.
These are the big rocks that will form the backbone of Engage. These function as a productivity alignment sequence, which we’ll work through in a mostly linear order.
Courage – invite it
Clarity – feel it
Intensity – claim it
Integration – own it
Harmony – be it
I intend to make this a deeply honest course on productivity. In that regard it’s not going to be sterile or gentle. It’s going to delve deeply into the motivational and emotional side of productivity since that’s where real productivity is born.
I want to show you how to connect the productivity dots from top to bottom – all the way from creating a sense of life purpose down to deciding which specific tasks to do on a Tuesday afternoon.
As I’m exploring the Engage concepts, I’m really liking how simple and direct they can be for making sense of intentions, goals, and projects. There’s a level of honesty that makes engagement problems really clear when using the 5 principles as diagnostic tools.
What’s really interesting is seeing how people avoid the obvious by asking the wrong questions about productivity, such as which apps to use or how to organize everything in Notion. Yet they’re doing uninspired work that doesn’t engage the heart and most likely never will. They really have no chance at being consistently productive till they get their heart engaged. Without strong emotional engagement, they just won’t have access to their best thinking, creativity, and flow.
Instead of fussing over apps, these same people ought to be asking why their emotional and motivational standards have been so low for so long – and what they can do to raise those standards permanently and keep them high for life.
Heart Engagement
When I was going through college in 3 semesters and getting tons done every week, I didn’t have or use any productivity apps. I didn’t have a pocket computer or a phone except for a land line in my room. There was no web or social media. My main productivity tools were a small notebook to record assignments and a pen. I had a paper calendar on my desk, but it always stayed in my room, so I never took it to school with me. That was all I needed to be highly productive and to stay well organized, even with up to 13 classes to juggle each semester and extracurricular activities too.
I can see that I used these core productivity principles very well back then. My heart was fully engaged, and I kept my motivation high (by making high motivation a priority). My goals were crisp, clear, and personally meaningful, and I centered my life around them. I said no to misaligned people and invitations. A strong heartset supported a fully engaged mindset, which enabled me to sustain an intense period of productivity. I ended up exceeding my original goals by earning two degrees instead of one. And the process to get there was rewarding.
I had a similar experience with doing contract game programming work during my last summer and last semester of college. The room where I worked had no phone and no Internet. I had no productivity apps. I used a spiral notebook and a pen to track my to-dos. I mainly just used one piece of software on the computer, Borland C++, to do the actual coding work. Most days that was the only program I opened. I got so much done during that time.
I do use some productivity apps today which I like, especially Things and Bear, but I use them simply. My #1 productivity tools are still very tactile – spiral notebook, pens, index cards, and dry erase boards. The digital tools are nice to have, but I really don’t need them to be very productive because productivity is primarily emotional.
Always Be Exam-Ready
I don’t use Notion, Evernote, Dropbox or other apps that essentially serve as clutter bins. I’m fairly spartan when it comes to collecting and storing information. When I encounter interesting ideas, I do my best to apply and integrate them immediately, so they become a part of my thinking and doing. Otherwise I let them go if they don’t fit.
Note that “integration” is the #4 engagement principle on the list above. How well have you integrated the best ideas you’ve encountered, such that you’re applying them to good effect each day? When good ideas become your natural daily actions, you don’t need reference notes to keep reminding you about what you should be doing.
This mindset aligns with what I discovered in college. I was taking too many classes to have extra time for studying outside of class. So I had to learn and remember what was being taught when it was being taught – during class. I tried not to leave the classroom till I had internalized the lesson. Sometimes that learning extended through the homework as well. I told my mind to learn the material well enough the first time that I felt ready to be tested on it immediately afterwards. That was a powerful and effective intention that prevented me from falling behind.
I love this standard of always being exam-ready. I can’t be dumping ideas into a digital clutter bin for later processing and still feel like I’m exam-ready with those ideas.
I know the concept of building a “second brain” is popular these days. What a delightful sounding label for procrastination? It’s like calling a clogged toilet a second sink.
What’s the point of gathering and sorting info clutter if your first brain isn’t on fire with motivation and focused with intensity? If you optimize your first brain, you won’t need a second brain.
Apps can be nice, but only in service to a fully engaged heart and mind. The best apps won’t fix your underlying issues, and they might just make matters worse by obscuring real problems under extra layers of complexity.
Emotional Intensity vs. App Propensity
It ought to seem obvious that a person with strong heart engagement, sustainably high motivation, clear goals, and intense focus can be super productive without the benefit of any modern productivity apps. Pen and paper are sufficient. Contrast this with someone who gets really into apps but doesn’t have their heart and mind fully engaged, committed, and focused. Which person would you bet on?
In the Engage deep dive, the first principle that we’ll start with is Courage, which is really about heart engagement. Most people don’t even pass this phase successfully, which is the main reason they struggle with productivity and consistency. They tolerate partial matches and mismatches. They ignore and suppress the voice of their heart, which would scream at them if they gave it a real chance to speak.
That’s our starting point. We’re going to crack open this space and invite the heart to get really vocal and honest. For some people this won’t be pretty, but it will be deeply honest.
This will not be a gentle course. Our primary focus won’t be on creating a “safe space” like we did with the Guild course. For this kind of transformation, we need to co-create a powerful growth space. We’re going to cover a lot of rich and interesting mental concepts, but we’re not going to retreat into the mind like most productivity courses do. We’re going to delve into the realm of fear and doubt right from the beginning, and we’re going to invite the heart to reveal the path of courage.
So from the very first principle, this is a journey that invites you to leave your old comfort zone behind. That’s going to take courage. You’ll be invited to form different intentions and to set different goals than you’ve ever set before.
I have zero interest in watching people try to squeeze out more productivity from work they don’t even want to be doing. I want to help people discover what truly lights them up. Help them amplify the voice of their hearts, so they can’t stomach ignoring it any longer.
Engaging with Engage
One thing I love to do when developing courses is to use the principles of the course to help create the course. I’ve done that with all of the previous courses so far, and I’m doing that with Engage too.
I’m working to develop a course that feels courageous and edgy; that offers crisp, clear, and actionable ideas and processes, that’s intense to develop and experience, that integrates its ideas into a coherent and sensible structure, and that maintains a beautiful and elegant internal harmony.
Creating Engage is a big challenge, and I love working it. There’s so much productivity information already in existence, and now I see a path forward to create and share something truly unique, different, and personally meaningful.
Codifying these ideas is already helping me make some productivity upgrades in my own life. That’s what gets me especially excited about the development process – when I’m able to identify and immediately implement upgrades I didn’t recognize before. These upgrades stem from deepening and simplifying my understanding, especially in terms of how different ideas connect with each other. For instance, I’m gaining a much better understanding of how critical courage is and how it fuels clarity, focus, and intensity. Just setting the intention for Engage to be our #1 flagship course creates ripples of extra motivation. Sharing this intention publicly also raises the stakes. But internally this kind of intention really lights me up inside and makes me want to do the best creative work of my life. It makes working on Engage feel even more engaging.
I’m also boosting my understanding of the tail aspects of long-term productivity – integration and harmony. One reason I’ve been vegan for 26 years now (most of my life) is that I fully integrated veganism into my life and harmonized with it. Same goes for doing personal development work for 18+ years and still feeling highly engaged with it. These fit into my life harmoniously, so they aren’t vulnerable to being wedged out, and I don’t need to lean on discipline to maintain them.
Note that self-discipline isn’t one of our Engage principles. Self-discipline is for the people with clogged toilets. Let’s see how long they can hold it.
“Engage!”
Fans of Star Trek: The Next Generation may also recognize that Captain Picard loves to say “Engage” to get the ship moving towards its next destination after laying in a course. The name for the course actually popped into my head spontaneously while I was thinking about it one day, so I didn’t consciously choose it because of that. But I immediately thought of that association afterwards. That made me like it even more. When I think of Picard flicking his wrist and saying “Engage,” as the ship and crew boldly warp off to go explore some new alien world, I see it as a succinct way to grasp what a highly engaged life feels like. It feels like you’re warping off to a bold new adventure that’s sure to keep you on your toes.
Is that you feel about your work, life, relationships, and lifestyle most of the time?
If not, you haven’t even accepted the invitation of Stage 1 yet. Just imagine how much more is possible when you’re regularly flowing through and aligning with all 5 of these principles.
Moreover, when I looked up the dictionary definitions of Engage, I saw just how perfect it was because all of those meanings are relevant to this journey. An engagement can even refer to a battle or conflict, and that’s how many people experience their struggles with procrastination and distraction. They’re trying in vain to win battles with their mind that their heart could help them win with ease.
There’s still much to be worked out before we’re ready to begin the Engage journey together. I think this will be especially rewarding for people who really want to experience something fresh, new, bold, and intelligent. The first place we’ll explore together will be Planet Heartspace, which is sure to seem like an alien world to those who’ve been stranded on Headspace for most of their lives. 😉
Why Wait? Let’s Get Started Now!
How about a tip to get started with the Engage principles right now? I recommend setting and holding these kinds of intentions:
I invite courage into my life.
Show me the path with a heart in all areas of life.
I’m ready to walk the path with a heart.
Help me soundly reject and release that which is misaligned with my heart.
Show me where and how I can be much, much bolder.
Let me begin each day by asking what I can do that’s bold and courageous.
Show me how to stretch my courage today.
Show me what fear to face next.
Let me hear what my heart has to say about the misaligned areas of my life and what it wants me to do instead.
I’m ready to live each day in courage and heart-alignment.
So don’t focus on trying to be more productive. If you want to be more productive, start by intending to be more courageous. Courage is the first door to walk through on the path to creating and experiencing a highly engaged life.
Fear, hesitation, worry, anxiety, apathy, confusion, disappointment – this is what you experience when your heart isn’t fully engaged. These are the consequences of turning your back on courage for too long. So flip this around today by intending, inviting, and accepting courage into your life. You aren’t ready to experience real clarity and intensity until you’re willing to embrace the energy of courage.
One project that I’ve been wanting to do for a while was to add acoustic panels to my home studio and office. Acoustic panels absorb sound, so they can greatly help to reduce room echo. Some rooms in my house are very echoey, which can be noticeable when doing recordings or live calls in an untreated room.
Previously my studio was ringed with several sound blankets (80 inches square) hanging on light stands. That was acoustically effective but rather ugly, and I didn’t like that the blankets blocked the windows too. I used the sound blankets for a few years to good effect though.
There are many YouTube videos sharing how to make your own acoustic panels on the cheap. I might have gone that route if I only needed a few panels, but I wanted more than 20 panels, and I thought I’d find the DYI approach really tedious after a while if I had to manually make that many panels. I also felt that it would add too many extra decisions to the process and slow me down a lot. I’d have to decide which wood to buy, which fabric to use, which acoustic material to put inside, and where to source these items. I also don’t own an electric saw or a stapler that can secure fabric to work, so I’d have to invest in additional tools as well. That all seemed like I’d be biting off more than I wanted to chew. This was a case where I’d rather spend more money to save time.
So I concluded that it would be way easier and less risky to buy professionally made panels. I still wanted a little bit of the DIY experience though, so I opted to install them myself, which was still a considerable amount of work.
Good acoustic panels are about 3x as effective at absorbing sound reflections as sound blankets, so you don’t need to cover as much wall area with the panels. It’s generally undesirable to have too much coverage. You want to retain some reflections, so the room doesn’t sound completely dead. A common recommendation I’ve seen is to cover at least 25-30% of wall area with panels.
My rooms also have carpeting too, so I don’t need to worry as much about vertical reflections. Hence I didn’t intend to install any panels on the ceilings.
The considerations for acoustic panels are different if you’re recording music or if you’re using them for controlling the reflections of speakers, such as in a home theater setup. I’m only concerned about vocals for audio/video recordings and for live video calls, so I prioritized my panel and installation choices based on that.
I also wanted panels that would look nice aesthetically. I wanted to appreciate the look of the panels when I’m in the rooms where they’re installed. That’s one reason I didn’t go with the cheaper foam panels. Foam panels are much less effective acoustically too, especially if you get the thinner ones (like 1 inch thick).
Sourcing the Panels
After researching various options, I decided to order all of the panels from Acoustimac. (I’m not an affiliate, and I have no sponsorship relationship with them.) I went with them after seeing some positive reviews and recommendations online. I feel that was a good choice, but since this is my first time using acoustic panels of any kind, I don’t really have anything to compare them to other than the sound blankets I was previously using.
I started by requesting fabric swatches, which they graciously sent for free. Their website provides an option to order the swatches for 1 penny plus about $8 shipping, but I didn’t notice that option till I’d already sent the request via the contact form. The swatches were very helpful in deciding which fabrics to go with. They have a lot of different color options, and the colors can look slightly different than the pics on their website.
I found that a good way to get a better price per panel was to take advantage of Acoustimac’s multi-panel packs instead of ordering them individually. They also let you customize the colors per panel. Even when I ordered an 8-pack where the order form invited me to specify two colors (4 of one color, 4 of another), I found out by contacting their support that I could get up to 8 different colors for the same price if I wanted. So that level of customization was really nice. In fact, overall I found their customer support to be excellent throughout the process. They even held up on shipping the panels when I asked them to (after I’d placed the order) because I realized they might arrive while I was out of town. I really appreciated that.
I ended up buying 8 of their 412 panels (4′ tall x 1′ wide x 2″ thick) and 16 of their 422 panels (4′ tall x 2′ wide x 2″ thick). You can mount the panels vertically or horizontally. I planned to mount most of them vertically. If you’re recording music, you might want to go with their thicker 4-inch panels, which are more effective at absorbing low bass sounds.
I also went with Acoustimac’s “eco” filling for the panels, which costs a bit more per panel. If you buy the panels individually, that option is $10 more per panel, but it can be as little as $3 per panel when you buy them in multi-packs.
Recording Studio
Here are some pics of the new acoustic panels I added to the studio. From left to right, the colors along this wall are rust, tan, spa, charcoal, gray. These are all 422 panels.
I put 3 of the 412 panels between the windows (charcoal, rust, black), and there’s another 422 panel (peat) behind the light with the light box on it.
Another modest upgrade would be to add some extra storage to the studio. I have a small glass bookshelf and a little filing cabinet in the room, but I could use some small shelves or a cabinet or two for storing various gear. This room doesn’t have a closet. It’s a relatively small space for a studio (about 14′ square), but it works.
Office
Here’s the home office. I put a couple of 422 panels in the corner (shell, tan). And I add 5 of the 412 panels behind the area where I do lots of Zoom calls (navy, spa, apple, tangerine, ruby). There are 5 more 422 panels on other walls of the room too, which aren’t shown (spa, shell, khaki, tan, gray).
How the panels look on camera is really sensitive to the lighting. The navy blue panel looks nearly black on camera if it isn’t getting much light, so I’ll use a 4′ tube light to splash some extra light on it when I’m live. The ruby red panel looks much brighter on camera. I’m using Amaran 100X’s with Light Dome Mini II soft boxes for my key and fill lights, which work nicely. I normally set the key to 15% and the fill at 7%, both at 5600K. I previously calibrated the lighting for a plain background where I mainly just had to focus on how to light myself, so I may need to re-calibrate the light settings for this different look.
I like how this looks on camera so far. It adds a bit of color, but I don’t think it’s overly distracting. We put the darker colors on the outside of the frame with the milder colors in the middle. With the framing on a Zoom call, you’ll only see about half of the navy and ruby panels, so the middle 3 panels are the most prevalent.
I also like that we can change the look a bit by splashing some colored light on the panels. I probably won’t do that for Zoom calls, but for recorded videos it can create some interesting looks.
Living Room
We added 3 panels to the living room too since I do some occasional filming there. Partly this was because we got a good deal buying the panels in 8-packs (24 total). We used 12 panels for the office and 9 for the studio, so we had 3 extra 422 panels to use for this room (spa, sunshine, apple).
Installation
It took me several hours to install the panels over the course of about 3 days since I carefully measured and calculated the exact positions for each one, having to balance aspects like acoustic effectiveness and symmetry.
The 412 panels weigh about 8 lbs each, and the 422 panels are about 15 pounds. The installation kit includes screws and metal brackets to hang the panels on the walls. I wondered if I’d need to use drywall anchors, but that turned out to be unnecessary. With 4 screws securing the brackets to the walls for each panel, they seem pretty secure in the drywall. If you have very weak or flaky drywall though, I might recommend using anchors, just to be safe.
One issue I had was getting the thinner 412 panels to hang straight. When hung vertically, the brackets are pretty close together, so even with careful measuring, I found it pretty difficult to install the brackets precisely enough to get the panel to be perfectly vertical when hanging. It would have been easier to get them to hang straight with a different mounting system, such as using picture hanging wire. Some of my 412 panels were a bit crooked when mounted, offset by 0.5″ or more horizontally from top to bottom. I found that if the difference was less than 0.25″, the panel will look sufficiently straight, but at 0.5″ or more, the crookedness becomes very noticeable.
My solution was to add a Command Strip to the bottom of each panel, so I could basically swing the bottom into perfect alignment and then “Velcro” it to the wall in the right position. Command Strips are pretty strong, and technically I might have been able to use them to secure the panels to the walls completely with no other mounting hardware. But these panels are right around the weight limits for Command Strips, and I’ve never used Command Strips before. I wasn’t sure how much I could trust them to hold the full weight of the panels, especially since my walls are textured (not completely flat), and the backs of the panels are wood (also having some texture and not 100% flat). I really didn’t want to risk panels potentially falling off the walls if the adhesive doesn’t hold.
The Command Strip solution worked perfectly for straightening out the crooked panels, so I’m happy with that fix. With a few 412 panels, I got lucky in that the panels were very straight with the default mounting, so I only used the Command Strips to straighten out 5 of the 8 panels of that type.
With the larger 422 panels, the brackets are far enough offset from each other (16″ apart as I installed them), so that made it much easier to get those hanging straight (with 0.25″ or less horizontal difference from top to bottom). I didn’t need to use any Command Strips to straighten those panels.
Teamwork
This was a great project to do with Rachelle because our strengths complemented each other nicely. I’m good at driving projects forward with action and decisiveness, but sometimes to keep advancing, I will gloss over aesthetic concerns and favor functional solutions. Rachelle is way more detail-oriented, and she has proper color vision whereas I’m color blind. She’s much better at picking color schemes and considering aesthetics. She largely picked the colors and fabrics whereas I focused on the acoustical considerations.
We spent hours going over the color and fabric options for the panels before we ordered them, taping fabric swatches to the walls to try to visualize what the results would look like. The panels are made to order, and it costs a lot to ship them, so we wanted to do our best to get the choices right the first time. Before we placed the order, we mapped out where we’d placed every single panel in each room.
I did reject some color options that didn’t look good to me. For instance, the spa and gray colors look identical to me. Those are the 3rd and 5th panels in the first pic above, respectively. I didn’t want those colors next to each other because it seemed like two of the same in a row. It was a bit tricky to identify options that looked good to both of us color-wise, but we managed.
I also wanted to get a variety of colors, so we could potentially change them up by swapping panels from different locations. That also gives us more flexibility in case one color doesn’t look so good on camera. So we have some backup possibilities, just in case we need them.
Fortunately I think we succeeded. I don’t have any regrets about the panel choices thus far. It will take time to give them a thorough test, but so far they do seem to work well acoustically.
This is my first experience with acoustic panels. As with many upgrades of this nature, you quickly learn that you could have gone further than you did because more is always possible.
For this project I wanted to go far enough to create a nice improvement that I’ll appreciate, but not so far as to feel like I’m over-reaching, over-spending, taking too long, or getting bogged down in micro-decisions. I decided going into this project that I should also stick with the basics, at least until I have a better grasp of how these panels work acoustically. I decided to avoid the really artistic design possibilities for now, even though I’m aware that way more is possible in that direction. Likewise I felt it was a wise decision to begin with simple sound blankets until I felt the timing was right to upgrade to acoustic panels.
I like that this project felt edgy and took me a bit out of my comfort zone, especially in terms of dealing with colors. I also like how it mixed audio and visual decisions with hand-ons working with tools. It took some patience to drive it to completion, so it was a good project to approach with a very methodical attitude. I found it helpful to acknowledge and celebrate each little act of progress along the way, including picking the colors, placing the order, unboxing everything, and installing each individual panel in its proper position. It feels good to have it all done. 😁
As I’ve been playing around with AI art tools, I decided to update the associated images for our courses. I wanted to come up with a more unique and personal expression than using the old stock images as we’ve been doing for the past few years.
This was a relatively small project, and it gave me a nice reason to delve into some interesting AI tools to better assess their capabilities. I definitely learned a lot and very much enjoyed the experience.
With most of the images I iterated dozens of times, feeding incremental images back to the AI tools and prompting them to keep evolving those images in directions of my choosing.
I also did some classic image editing to get the images the way I wanted them to look. Often I’d do some edits along the way to nudge the AI to explore in a different direction.
I began by feeding the AI different words that I associated with a given course, including the name of the course, my name, and lots of topical keywords that relate to the course. Then I set the AI to generate at least 100 images to begin with, sometimes a few hundred, so I could see a nice divergent set of conceptual ideas. From there I could pick my favorites and evolve some of them further.
I went through many rounds of diverging to generate more ideas and then converging by creating more subtle variations of concepts I like. Finally I did some fine-tuning.
The experience was like having a team of artists to keep creating more art, and I could keep guiding them and giving them feedback till they created something that satisfied me.
I don’t expect or need other people to like my creations. My goal was to replace the stock photo images with creations that are meaningful to me, full of symbolism and imagery that genuinely connects with each course. I wanted to raise my standard for authentic and personal expression. I’m not seeking to impress anyone, and I’m sure some people will not like the images. I’m totally okay with that. I really like how these turned out though.
I smile now when I look at the Courses page since I have a personal connection to each image. I no longer think, “I should really replace that stock image with something more expressive.”
Submersion is about exploring Subjective Reality, which can be like stepping through a portal, so I like that this looks portal-like. SR is also a lens that can be used, so the lens-like look works nicely too.
With this image I did very little editing and largely used what the AI created, although I did generate many hundreds of other images before finding this one. I like how it conveys so many aspects of the Submersion experience in a compact visual form, especially how you can’t really grasp the world of SR until you finally dive in and explore it. It looks like some kind of deep aquatic world inside, but you’ll never know what it’s like to be in that reality till you go inside and experience it for yourself. I love how this image invites us to explore what’s in there.
I especially like the intricate look of the border around the portal. I deliberately prompted the AI to create something intricate and detailed.
Rachelle also noted that this image reminds her of an old diver’s helmet, which is another good association to the course.
I find this image very beautiful too. I love the rich complexity of it.
Octo Intensive
The next image I created was for the Octo Intensive workshop that we did online in October 2021.
This was a one-time workshop, so I’m only using this image for the recorded version that Conscious Growth Club members can access as part of their membership.
The Octo Intensive was about 8 principles of motivation, hence the Octo theme. At first the AI was generating a lot of weird octopus images that were too literal, so I had to tone down the octopus prompting and nudge it to do more with the other concepts. Eventually we started converging in an interesting direction.
I like how to ribbon represents a prize, award, or gift, and there are embedded diamonds as well, representing the many rewards of maintaining strong motivation. The octopus owns its place in the midst of those rewards, like of course that’s where it belongs. Its eyes look a bit like gemstones too – a reminder to practice intentionality by focusing on our desires.
Deep Abundance Integration
For Deep Abundance Integration, I started with a tree in a circle and then evolved it a lot from there, eventually coming up with this.
I put a lot of thought into the symbolism that I included in this one. There’s a tree and leaves for growth. The leaves are textured for nuance and subtleties in the growth journey. The tree has branches for the many form of abundance. There are leaves below (inner journey) and leaves above (external rewards).
The heart jewel is to remind people to follow their path with a heart and for a symbol of wealth and luxury. The water has ripples for the many ripples that we can create with an abundance mindset. Sunrise is happening in the background (sunny days ahead).
The copper color was Rachelle’s idea. I like it as a symbol of groundedness and depth since it’s mined from the earth. She also came up with the heart idea.
The sky represents unlimited expansion (i.e. the sky’s the limit).
I like images that look like they could be real physical objects instead of just making flat 2D images. I like it when images convey depth and texture, like I could reach out and touch them. This reminds me that the growth ideas in these courses are accessible. They aren’t merely ideas – we can integrate them into our lives and make them real.
Stature
This new Stature image took took the longest, but I love how it turned out.
There’s a bronze person with outstretched arms, and there’s an animal-like face in the glass behind. The eyes of the face also function as a Superman-like cape for the figure.
There’s more symbolism embedded in this… such as putting metal (strong) in front of glass (fragile).
Stature is a course on character sculpting, which is like transforming the wild, beast-like parts of ourselves into the strong selves that we wish to become. Yet we don’t abandon the beast side because it supports us in our human journey.
Amplify
The Amplify image merges a microphone, speaker, and light bulb all in one. I love the simple elegance of this one.
This was the fastest and easiest course image to create, and I felt like I was really in the flow of working with the AI to develop it. It still took many iterations, but we made interesting progress at each step and converged pretty quickly.
Amplify is a course on creative flow and creative productivity. The mic represents finding our voice. The light bulb is for creative ideas, and since the light bulb is the same object as the mic, it’s a reminder to act on inspired ideas immediately. The speaker in the background is there to amplify the message, and it also looks a bit rippled to represent the ripples we can create.
This image also has a structure similar to a trophy, representing the fulfillment side of creative achievement.
And the image is compact and simple, reminding us that we can just create without overcomplicating the experience.
Tech-wise though, that configuration would send a ton of audio feedback from the speaker right into the mic, so that’s symbolic of hearing the call of one’s audience so loudly you can no longer ignore it. It’s like the speaker is advertising that it’s time to step up to the mic and start expressing yourself.
Guild
Guild is a course on social alignment, so I wanted to convey many different aspects of a good social circle in a single image.
In the different faces, you’ll see diversity and playfulness. But there’s also a lot of uniformity, which represents creating alignment in your social circle.
The characters are in sync, but the pieces aren’t all perfectly square since we’ll surely invest more in some people than in others. There’s a gold cord around the outside since good friends are like gold.
We all wear masks at times, so the challenge of intimacy is to look beyond the surface and get to know the characters behind the masks. Not everyone is masked to the same degree.
There’s a mix of warm and cool colors since people can be warm or cold too – and sometimes both.
Self-Expression
Does working with AI tools circumvent the creative process, such that the AI does all the heavy lifting?
I don’t see it that way at all. Using such rich tools allows me to focus more attention at a different level. Instead of thinking about brush strokes and colors, I can focus on meaning and symbolism and the overall structure of an image. I can pay attention to lower level details too, but I don’t have to get bogged down in creative skills that don’t interest me, like learning to draw, paint, or sculpt.
That might bother some people who invested years in some of their creative skills, which I can understand as a former game developer. I could just as easily say that to be a true artist, you should make your own canvases, paints, pencils, brushes, etc. I could say that it’s cheating if you play a musical instrument that someone else built and that a real artist would build their own. But of course that’s rubbish. We all lean on the work of the past, and to me this experience is no different in that regard. There’s just more past to lean on now.
I will say that I didn’t try to copy or emulate any known artist’s style with these images, living or dead. I never fed in the name of an artist or person (other than myself) for any of the prompts I used. That wouldn’t have felt good to me, and it would have run contrary to my purpose for this exploration.
These images may violate people’s expectations. Right now I don’t know of any friends in this field making these kinds of images to associate with their products. I’m sure some people would discourage me from going this route as well, just as people tried to discourage me from getting into blogging back in 2004.
To me these images are all meaningful. They represent much of what I put into the courses. I actually prefer images that make people do a double-take. If people see these as odd or unusual, I consider that a good thing.
Even though people often invite me to converge on their expectations, Reality has been rewarding me for divergent behavior for decades, and I trust my instincts. Presently my instincts tell me that this is a fascinating toolset to continue to exploring with.
I don’t have negative associations to co-creating with AI. I leveraged AI ideation tools for the Octo Intensive and for the Guild course, and I felt this added value to those experiences. Other participants appreciated the AI’s contributions as well, which helped us to explore some interesting directions.
Moreover, I’ve gained some useful personal growth insights from co-creating with AI tools. As I worked with prompting images to evolve in a certain direction, it reminded me of the importance of iterative upgrades in my life as well. In the short term, progress may appear to be minimal, but the compounding effects can be profound in the end.
I’m reminded of a time that my first wife Erin and I put up a sign in our living room that said, “$5000 per month,” back when we were struggling financially. That simple sign did the trick, and we soon got to that income level and well beyond. It was like prompting ourselves to create what we wanted, causing our mindsets to shift a bit more each day. Those micro-shifts can really add up over time.
I was also reminded of the importance of combining intentionality with flexibility. When I tried to over-control the AI, I would often hit a plateau because I wasn’t playing to the AI’s strengths. In those situations it was better to give the AI more creative flexibility, so it could evolve images even in violation of my prompting. But it wasn’t wise to let the AI be too divergently creative for too long since we could get lost in the vastness of the possibility space and never converge on an idea. I found other ways to leverage the AI to refine a messy or flawed concept into a more refined one.
At its best this was a transcendent experience. I love the synergy of combining my strengths with the AI’s strengths and working in the zone where we can each contribute our best creativity for interesting results. Sometimes I would see a new image and smile, marveling at the AI’s cleverness or brilliance. Its ideas often inspired me to go down different paths than I’d previously had in mind. Where we ended up with each image was usually very different from where we started.
This is good reminder to bring a similar mindset to our goals. Be intentional but also flexible because you’re not 100% in control. You’re co-creating this journey with Reality, and you need to play to its strengths to invite the best flow of cooperation.
I remain very optimistic about the future of co-creating with AI. It seems like such a rewarding path to keep exploring. It elevates the creative experience away from the mundane and towards the divine. I love how such tools are extending the range of what I can create and express and with whom.
What can you do when you realize that you’ve been wasting a lot of time succumbing to distractions, like endless social media or consumption-based activities, and it’s making you feel empty, hollow, disappointed, or even ashamed of yourself? How can you reboot and get your life (and your character development) back on track?
A key here is to raise your awareness of how this behavior pattern is punishing you and what you’re missing out on. And that’s the truth – you’re missing out on tons that life has to offer when you stick with the low-hanging fruit of repetitive but unfulfilling actions.
One way I like to do this is to maintain a clear line of sight to goals that are compelling. The goals have to be a lot more fascinating and stimulating than the distractions, and my goals need to provide emotional endurance that won’t easily fade. Otherwise the distractions will win. Limp goals won’t work.
Keeping long-term goals in our awareness requires a lot of refreshing. For many people this means looking at our goals and thinking about them every day or even multiple times per day. That’s a good test to see if the goals remain interesting or compelling or if they only look good on paper but don’t actually motivate action consistently.
I like to engage with my goals every day, and I’m constantly tweaking, refactoring, and refreshing them to keep them aligned with strong and persistent motivation. When I feel a goal becoming too mental and not thrilling enough, I know it’s dying and that I won’t likely achieve it till I pull it back into the emotional space. This is where reframing skills are a godsend.
Then comes the realization that with enough action and persistence and learning from mistakes, those goals can actually be achieved. Those experiences can be had. Are they better than Facebooking and video games? If not then the goals are no good and ought to be changed because those services are competing for your attention these days.
The future will introduce even more compelling distraction invitations, so your future goals will need to be even more competitive with those other services. If your goals can’t even out-compete today’s offers, you’re really have no chance in the years ahead. So you’d better learn how to pull ahead – and stay ahead – of those distractions today.
For some this may seem disheartening. I actually see it as exciting though. Why is reality providing so much temptation? Is it to pull you away from your goals and make you feel like a loser? No! It’s to invite you to up your goal-setting game. Stop setting such bland and wimpy goals. Set goals that scare you, that will radically transform your life, that will sculpt your character beautifully. Leap into spaces that you’re never explored before.
Most importantly, your goals must be personal. You can’t just rip them off from other people and expect them to have much motivating power. My best goals feel like goals that no one would set but me because they fit me and my personality in such a unique way. If your goals are generic and other people could just as easily set them, they probably won’t motivate you consistently.
A good goal is like a personal mission. It’s for you and you alone. Even if a goal involves a team project, your contribution is uniquely personal. A good goal dives deep into your private space of personal meaning. It’s part of your story, not someone else’s.
So please please please dump those lame-ass goals that you could read anywhere else online, like the ones to lose weight, make a certain amount of money, etc. Video games provide way more compelling goals than those.
You can still do some of those distracting activities for variety if you truly value them. Rachelle and I love watching TV shows and movies together, and sometimes we play video games. But those are filler activities around other goals, and they do provide value in a way that doesn’t feel empty or hollow. I often find inspiration in fictional worlds. I probably wouldn’t even be doing what I’m doing today if not for Star Trek, for instance, since that inspired many of my lifestyle decisions. Watching certain shows together is a fun bonding experience for us too; we often discuss them afterwards, even pausing to discuss while we watch.
I don’t have Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or many other social media accounts since I don’t feel those services add enough value to my life today. I did find it interesting to explore them, but not to the extent of having them pull me away from more interesting goals. I do have Netflix, Apple TV+, Audible, YouTube, and other accounts that I appreciate. This is guilt-free. This kind of engagement actually builds enthusiasm for other goals if done right.
A good question to ask is: Would I appreciate having this account for another year (or five)? If not, that’s a good reason to cancel it.
When you compare your goals to your distractions, do your goals rise above your distractions enough that you’re going to feel a sting if you don’t work on your goals for a month or so? Do your goals compel you to take action? Do you find it necessary to put off non-goal actions, so you can advance your goals?
It’s one thing to feel disappointed if you wasting some of your life spinning in circles, but that isn’t enough by itself. It’s vital to be aware of what specifically you’re sacrificing if you don’t invest in something more meaningful. With a vague feeling of disappointment, going back to the distractions will remain the go-to treatment.
With a more specific feeling of disappointment where you develop high awareness of the progress you could have made but didn’t, it will be harder to return to distractions and not work on your goals. You’ll see that you’re delaying experiences that matter to you. You’ll see that you’re holding your character back from what you could become. You’ll see more of the specifics that you’re missing.
Your challenge is to create a vision of how you want your life to be, and then keep evolving that vision to make it personal, meaningful, and incredibly compelling. Arnold Schwarzenegger used to put up pics of bodybuilders on his bedroom wall, so he’d stay connected to the vision of how he wanted his body to be. While other people inspired him, he evolved those socially inherited goals into his own personal vision that mattered to him, and he infused a lot of his own personality into his goals. When he tried to pursue goals that other people set for him, like while he was in the military in Austria, he failed miserably.
I really love setting and achieving interesting goals. It’s hard as hell sometimes, and there are occasional setbacks to deal with, but in the long run that just makes the journey more rewarding. I especially love the long-term character sculpting effects. Even for goals I didn’t achieve (or that took longer than I expected), I still appreciate the character gains. I love the creative challenge of figuring out what to do next with my life.
When your goals become compelling enough, distractions become boring by comparison. You can still engage with side hobbies and entertainment if you want – I definitely do – but let those pursuits serve the big picture of where you want to take your life and character. I love the added stimulation and inspiration that comes from a variety of input, but if I overdo that, I’m really going to feel the sting of not making progress on my goals. I’ll be very aware of what else I’m not experiencing.
You have a lot of power to sculpt your experience of life. You can let other people direct your experience, and that’s okay for a while, but the long-term invitation is to do your own conscious sculpting and directing. I really enjoy helping people with those efforts since it’s so rewarding to see people take charge of their lives and create the kinds of experiences they truly appreciate.
Mutual appreciation is what this game is all about. Consider that even those services that you denigrate as distractions were probably created by people who hoped you’d appreciate their efforts. What you call a distraction was someone else’s life’s work. I like this framing because it helps me see that when I’m ready to let go of a service that has run its course for me, I can let go with some appreciation and respect for the value it did provide. I can even thank those services for how they helped me discover what other kinds of experiences I really want to have.
So realize that your distractions are actually trying to help you. If your distractions are more compelling than your goals, look to your distractions for insights about how you could set goals that are more engaging and meaningful for you. Clarify what you don’t like about those distractions, and challenge yourself to design experiences that are better than what they offer. If you can’t beat what those services provide, then you know you have more to learn about how to consciously create better experiences. And then you can actually engage with those services on that basis. You can use them as learning tools and stepping stones to discover how to set better goals and to create better experiences.
